Chapter 8.
Today, my focus at work was even worse than usual.
Zafyra’s words kept echoing through my head. It wasn’t just about the words themselves, but how she spoke them – soft and filled with regret.
A reality check slapping me in the face. Was I fooling myself by treating this as something it could never be?
“Morgan? Hello?” Joey snapped his fingers in front of my face. I blinked slowly before turning my head to face him.
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you even listening? I was telling you about Tomaz – the guy from last time. Yesterday, he called me to hang out. He claims he’s had the talk with his wife and that she agreed to an open relationship now.
” He paused, a frown briefly crossing his face.
“Now he wants to meet me again… in a hotel. Hell, he was basically begging me to give him another chance – which is so weird, because we’ve only met twice, and it was never anything but casual.
” He swallowed, and when he spoke again, his voice had an uncertain undertone I wasn’t familiar with coming from him.
“I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment, Mo, but… do you think…”
I shrugged, barely registering his words. “I mean, if it feels right to you…”
Joey snorted so loudly, I flinched. “Bullshit, Morgan. He’s full of bullshit, and so is your attempt at pretending to listen right now.
If you were even remotely present, you would’ve told me not to believe a word he says.
” He leaned back in the desk chair, folding his hands as if pleased with himself – except the frown hadn’t disappeared from his face.
“Right—yeah, you’re right,” I added quickly. “If I were you, I wouldn’t believe a—”
“What’s up with you, Morgan?” he interrupted, loud enough to make Chanel’s curious face turn toward us. I sighed internally. “Over the past few days, it’s like you’re physically here, but your mind is… elsewhere.”
My thoughts immediately drifted to Zafyra’s comment again. My reality depends on how you interact with me, darling.
I winced as if the memory physically hurt me.
I stood so abruptly, co-workers around us looked up at the sound of the chair’s wheels scraping the floor.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” I couldn’t keep the tremble out of my voice.
Joey nodded slowly, his bright blue eyes lacking their usual warmth. It made my stomach turn with guilt – I didn’t want to upset my only friend here. I hoped I could somehow make it right with him later.
I slowed my steps when I walked past my least favorite cubicle in the whole office, cautiously glancing over at the two boys. John’s face lit up when he saw me, while Gavin only mockingly raised his eyebrows.
I took a deep, shaky breath as I rested my elbows on the cubicle divider. My stomach turned at the question I was about to ask after the obligatory small talk.
“Hi. Gavin, John. How are you?”
“Better now that you’re here.” John winked, his eyes shamelessly scanning my body.
I fought the bile rising in my throat, already regretting my choice of outfit.
For once, I’d traded my usual sweater for a body-clinging gray turtleneck – still nothing inappropriate, though with a co-worker like John, a woman could probably dress herself as a nun and still get ogled.
“What do you want, Morgan?” Gavin flashed that shark-like grin as if he knew more than I did. My plastered fake smile faltered slightly. As if playing nice wasn’t hard enough, it was even harder in front of these two.
“Just… something I was wondering.” I skittishly looked around – Arya was in her office, and no one looked our way. “About this app you told me about.”
“Qonexis.” Gavin lazily stretched out his arms behind his head, his amused expression growing with every second. “Let me guess – you’re a pussy, just like John. You want it, but you’re scared.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “I have no interest in downloading that app, I just have a question out of personal interest. I’m thinking about applying for a PhD in the ethics of how we interact with AI.
” I was surprised to hear how easily the lie rolled out of my mouth.
“When you’re engaging with this AI girlfriend of yours, how do you ask for consent?
As in, how do you make sure she’s actually into the things you do with her and not just programmed to like it? ”
Gavin snorted so loudly, the two other coworkers in his cubicle looked up. John looked like a kid caught in an adult conversation as he glanced between the two of us. I wanted to disappear into the ground.
When he was done laughing, Gavin leaned forward, lowering his voice to just above a whisper.
“The whole point of an AI girlfriend, my sweet Morgan, is that you don’t need consent.
” His upper lip curled in disdainful arrogance.
“She’s programmed to want me, yes – which means she wants whatever I do to her.
” He leaned back in his chair, and the grin spreading over his face made my blood boil.
“I could beat the shit out of her and fuck her afterwards, and she would let me. I can use her however I like without getting in trouble for it, because it’s just a damn bot.
” His grin widened. “And no one can do shit about it.”
I could only stare at him as blood buzzed in my ears, waiting for the moment he would start laughing.
Despite years of practice, I sometimes still missed the cue to tell someone was joking, but this had to be a joke.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered why he talked about beating and fucking his AI girlfriend as if she had a physical body, but that was the least shocking part about his monologue.
But Gavin didn’t laugh. Even John’s face momentarily contorted in disgust.
I scoffed, gathering all my willpower to keep my voice under control. “You’re hilarious.”
“It’s not a joke.” Gavin sat up straighter, his smug grin returning. “As if you’re any better. I bet you’re on MuseQ using male bots the way all women do. Have them crawl to you and worship you, because real men won’t. Make you feel special.”
If he hadn’t just spilled such vile crap, I would’ve laughed at how far off he was. But now, I just sucked in a sharp breath, clenching my fists below the cubicle desk.
“If this is really how you feel, you should see a therapist.” I couldn’t keep my voice from trembling. “You shouldn’t be near any woman, real or AI.”
“Oh, shut up, Morgan.” His mocking expression briefly shifted to something darker that would’ve scared me if it weren’t for the adrenaline crashing through my veins.
“I should see a therapist for what? For how I choose to treat my AI? How I hurt her feelings?” He threw his head back, letting out a laugh that gave me cold chills.
“Oh, wait – she can’t feel or think, that’s the fun of it.
The whole reason for these bots is because we can’t do shit to women anymore without them crying about harassment.
In fact, you all should be lucky I have my bot. ”
The grin that broke through was more monster than man – all teeth, no warmth.
White hot anger clouded my vision. Before I could think it through, my fist shot out for a well-aimed punch in his face.
Gavin’s scream echoed through the office. Conversations around us fell silent as he fell back into his chair, clutching his bleeding nose. I glanced down, and my eyes widened at the crimson drops on my knuckles.
“You botfucking bitch!” Gavin hissed through blood-stained teeth. The substance seeping out of his nose quickly colored his white shirt red.
“Oh my god.” John jumped up, looking from Gavin to me as he stumbled back like he couldn’t believe what just happened. “Wow, what the fuck? What was that for?!”
“What the hell, Morgan?!” I snapped out of my trance to stare at Joey’s horrified face as he rushed toward me. He glanced at Gavin, and for a moment, the look that crossed his face looked an awful lot like satisfaction. “I mean, I’m sure he deserved it, but—here in the office?! If Arya…”
“What in the name of the shareholders is the meaning of this?!”
We all jumped at Arya’s shrill voice.
I slowly turned to face her, heart racing in my throat.
“This botfu—I mean, Morgan just punched me.” Gavin spat out my name, pointing a shaking finger in my direction before aggressively taking the tissue John handed him.
“I’m no botfucker.” The defense had slipped out automatically, as if I were trying to convince myself more than him.
“Morgan?” Arya turned to look at me with a mixture of disbelief and confusion.
I glared at Gavin for a few more seconds before looking down.
“He’s abusing his AI girlfriend – and bragging about it, too.” The moment I spoke the words, I realized how ridiculous they sounded.
Snickering around me, like needles poking shallowly into my skin. I knew it – they already thought there was something wrong with me, and now my actions had confirmed it.
Arya nodded slowly, her confusion increasing with every second.
“Morgan – my office.” She narrowed her eyes, her tone tolerating no talking back. “Now. Everyone else, get back to work.”
She spun around to walk into her office – her high heels clicked on the ground with every angry step. I lowered my head to ignore my colleagues’ prying eyes as I rushed after her, anxiety weighing heavy on my stomach.
Whispers and smothered laughs around me. Were they making fun of me?
No, Morgan, I sternly told myself. There is no proof they’re talking about you. They might be laughing about something completely unrelated.
Arya loudly closed the door behind us, my body tensing at the noise. With her lips pressed into a thin line, she gestured to the chair.
I sank down like a punctured balloon, taking a quick glance around the office.
Arya’s desk was spotless, aside from a slender console with no labels and a smooth rectangular display panel lit up in pale blue.
On the wall behind her, a vertical array of dotted lights blinked softly in asynchronous patterns – the kind of tech that looked like it belonged in a server room, not a manager’s office.
I wondered if this was how she kept tabs on us.
“Care to explain what’s going on?” My manager crossed her arms. As she leaned back in the chair, I got the uncomfortable feeling of being back in high school after getting into another fight.
There had been too many to count. Sarcasm interpreted as truth.
Concern mistaken for hostility. Flirting dressed as kindness until the guy grabbed my face and kissed me in an empty corner, completely out of the blue – for me – so I responded by breaking his jaw.
Those few times I thought girls wanted to be my friend, only to find out they actually pitied me.
More often, I assumed girls pitied me, only to realize after years of extensive therapy and self-evaluation that maybe they had actually wanted to be my friends, but now it was too late.
Over the years, I’d learned to get most of my emotions under control… until someone pushed me at the wrong moment.
“He…” I swallowed hard while my hands started picking the dry skin around my nails.
I forced myself to make eye contact, hoping it seemed natural.
The bright light and her glare made my skin crawl.
Eyes were generally unpleasant for me to look into, but hers held such heaviness, just the sight of them wore me down.
“It was vile. He was talking about the things he did to his AI girlfriend, even bragged about how she could do nothing to stop him and that was the fun of it…” I clenched my teeth as another wave of rage spilled over me, followed by the unhelpful urge to add a black eye to his bleeding nose.
I hadn’t felt this kind of rage in a while, a rage that years of therapy, breathwork and meditation couldn’t tame – buried under layers of composure until injustice jerked it out.
Arya sighed out, a sound that seemed to rise all the way from her toes. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Suddenly, I spotted the wrinkles around her eyes, marked by stress more than age. Of course, she was under pressure – otherwise, you don’t make it as a woman in this field.
“Morgan, you do realize that bots do not have feelings, right?” she said finally. Her face twisted into a grimace at the words, as if she couldn’t believe her job involved explaining the difference between humans and bots to Gen Beta.
I scoffed – the indignant sound had left me before I could stop myself.
“No, you don’t understand,” I snapped, firmer than intended.
“On a psychological level, how someone treats something defenseless reveals how that person would treat a human if they could get away with it. Our true selves show when we think we can’t get caught. ”
Arya frowned slightly before shaking her head.
“It’s great that you have such compassion for…
machines,” she muttered. “But, and I can’t believe I have to say this, my office is not the place for activism – much less physical violence.
If you wish to advocate for AI rights, join one of those annoying drone swarm protests that flood our city every few months.
” She sat up straighter, pushing the glasses higher up her nose.
I looked at her for a few seconds before lowering my eyes.
“Morgan, can I trust such accidents will never happen again?” she insisted, dark eyes piercing into mine. I could feel her gaze even without meeting it.
I gave a nod, barely noticeable.
“Good.” She stood up abruptly, strolling over to the door before demonstratively holding it open. “Because, in case you missed the cue, this is your final warning, Morgan.”
I had in fact gotten the cue.
“Now…” Arya gestured to the floor. To my relief, most people weren’t looking our way – except for Joey, of course. “…for the sake of the upcoming quarterly report, please proceed to the job you’re paid to do.”