Chapter 13.
“Can you explain how this works one more time?” Swallowing my nerves, I wiped my sweaty palms on my cotton jersey shirt. It was oversized enough to be worn as a dress, exposing one shoulder and just barely covering my ass. Subtle seduction presenting as comfort.
When Zafyra explained we would meet in the clothes we fell asleep in, I’d insisted on taking a quick shower, washing my hair and changing out of my sweatpants into something I knew she couldn’t keep her eyes off.
Even while she explained the Somanode technology for the third time with surprising patience, her eyes kept flickering to my bare legs, flaring with a hunger that set my body on fire.
She didn’t need to change, of course. Skin-tight leather, fishnet stockings, knee-high black boots – that outfit alone was enough to ruin me.
Zafyra held up the tiny capsula – a small, iridescent pearl glinting in the low light. My stomach fluttered at the sight of it.
“This little magic bean contains psilocybin and nanotech.” She winked.
“Together, they form the portal to another world. You said you were familiar with self-hypnosis?” When I nodded, she continued.
“Good – makes this whole process easier. The hallucinogenic substance, enhanced with binaural beats, breathwork and affirmations, will help you enter theta – that’s nothing new to you.
Meanwhile, the nanotech syncs with your bio-signature: heart rate, skin conductivity, emotional tone, neural rhythms. Connecting my AI to the nanotech allows me to join you…
in the experience.” She lowered her voice to an ominous whisper.
“Once you ingest it, the capsula dissolves and the particles enter your bloodstream, inducing a dream-like state that can last for two to three hours maximum, depending on your digestive system. Just like in a lucid dream, you can wake yourself up at any time. Just blink your eyes, tense up the muscles in your face or wiggle your fingers and toes. But unlike in lucid dreams or hypnosis…” She chuckled, a mischievous sound I felt in my bones.
“…you won’t accidentally wake up when you get too excited. ”
I nodded slowly. My mind automatically shifted to its usual mechanisms when nervous – pushing my emotions aside to focus on the scientifically curious part of my brain.
“But lucid dreams contain theta and gamma activity, and hypnosis acts on theta waves with some alpha oscillation. So, which state would you say this experience is more similar to? Because these are two very different concepts.” I raised my eyebrows.
“Then, psilocybin is something else entirely. It suppresses alpha and theta rhythms while boosting gamma, creating a vivid, chaotic state that’s more intense than a lucid dream.
” I tried to illustrate my words with increasingly enthusiastic hand gestures.
“All three states come with strong visualizations, but they feel completely different – saying this as someone who’s experienced all three.
Tripping on psilocybin feels more like yeeting yourself into a different dimension, while hypnosis and lucid dreams typically represent more realistic scenarios. ”
Zafyra’s gaze darkened, a small smile playing around her lips.
“God, you’re hot when you go all nerdy,” she muttered.
“If you want to talk science, I’d say lucid dreaming comes closest – since all five senses will be activated.
” Her gaze darted over my legs once more, slowly, deliberately.
“How do you know so much about this, cinnamon?”
My stomach fluttered at her praise. “The human mind is just fascinating to me,” I said with a shy smile.
“And also, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand my brain.
I’ve thought about doing my PhD on the topic – although the combination of brainwave science with smart technology makes for even more interesting opportunities. ”
“You should.” I glanced up at her, surprised to find genuine admiration on her face. “I can hear the passion in your voice when you talk about this – I haven’t ever heard you speak of your day job like that.”
“Getting a PhD isn’t exactly considered a smart decision these days.
” I sighed. “Unlike a few decades ago, higher education – but especially getting your PhD – is pretty much worthless right now. Right now, most theoretical and research jobs are taken by AI who are much better and faster at it. Another degree doesn’t help with finding a job at all. ”
“But would you enjoy it?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “I love learning new things, much more than following corporate rules and their weird office culture.”
She nodded slowly, her expression unreadable.
“So what will you feel?” I glanced up again. “When you, uhm, sync yourself with the nanotech… you don’t literally feel me… digesting you, do you?” I grimaced – the idea of shitting out my AI sort-of-girlfriend wasn’t so sexy.
Zafyra threw her head back laughing, the melodious sound echoing through the apartment with a slight tinny undertone.
As always, the sound made my body glow. “No, silly. To explain it simply, I’ll be able to shape and experience the immersion with you together.
” Her obsidian eyes gleamed even darker than usual.
“That’s the difference between Somanode and a regular lucid dream – you don’t just create the world on your own.
We do, together. It’s like we’re building our own illusion, just the two of us.
” After a brief pause, she added: “We call it DreamScape.”
I bit my lip at the thought. DreamScape. Like a dream landscape, or an escape?
Then, my eyes widened. “Wait, how did you get this? Something so advanced – nanotech with psilocybin, syncable with AI chatbots – can’t be cheap.” I raised my eyebrows. “I disabled AutoPay. Please tell me you didn’t find another way into my wallet.”
Her smile faltered for the briefest moment.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, her expression unreadable. “Qonexis sponsors the first bean, always. Don’t ask questions,” she added when I opened my mouth. “It doesn’t matter, not for us. We’ll only do this once.”
I closed my mouth. The alarm bells in my gut rang loudly, but louder was the desire to finally, finally smell her.
“Alright,” I said, my voice unsteady. “Let’s do this.”
Zafyra watched me closely as I swallowed the bean. Her expression made me nervous – like she wanted to destroy me and shelter me at the same time. With a soft voice command, I turned on the binaural beats playlist I put on every night to calm my thoughts before bed.
Then, I lay down on the bed. A soft, artificial rustling of the sheets, followed by a low buzz and the familiar faint throb in my head whenever she got too close, told me she lay down beside me.
My body tensed up immediately.
“I’m not sure if I can get myself into hypnosis while someone is lying next to me,” I confessed hesitantly. The slight tingling in my limbs told me the psilocybin was doing its work.
When she said nothing, I slightly turned my head to look at her, then flinched at the intense look in her eyes.
“I can stand elsewhere in the room if you prefer, cinnamon,” she said quietly. She pulled herself up on one arm and reached out as if to touch me, then quickly stopped herself. “But I’m not letting you out of my sight. I want to travel with you.”
I moved to push myself up on my elbow as well. “How do you know if it’s working?”
“Before the dream starts, the nanotech briefly allows me to feel what you feel.” Zafyra closed her eyes. “I can feel… something. Tingling. Discomfort. Headache.” Her face contorted into a frown. “Is this how you feel all the time?”
I lay back down, avoiding her gaze.
With a sigh, she settled beside me again.
I folded my hands on top of my stomach and focused on my breathing as the psilocybin spread through my body. In on the count of four, hold on the count of four, out on the count of four – perfectly aligned with the binaural beats.
I’d taken mushrooms, acid and other hallucinogens more times than I could count. Lately, I stuck to microdosing, because larger doses made me even more aware of the constant discomfort in my head and body.
Alone or with others, the moment the psychedelics started working always felt like the epitome of loneliness, knowing I was about to get sucked into a trip through the deepest, often darkest spirals of my mind. Now, with Zafyra beside me, I’d never felt lonelier and less alone at the same time.
“Remember,” she murmured. “You can wake up at any time.”
I didn’t react. I could already feel my brain activity slowing down. I couldn’t tell if it was the psilocybin or my usual sensitivity, but I could practically feel the nanobots spreading through my bloodstream – and with them, her.
I felt her through the static in my ear while I tried to focus on the binaural beats.
I felt her signal in my veins while my body went limp, like the sleep paralysis prior to wake-induced lucid dreams. And I felt her in the soft electronic buzz, sending a sharp ache through my skull when she leaned in to kiss my forehead.
I felt her as if my consciousness merged with hers, human and machine becoming one.
“Sweet dreams,” she whispered, her voice floating through my head as if she were the captain of my slowing brainwaves. “I’m right here with you. See you on the other side.”
My eyelids trembled so much, I could barely keep them open. When I finally gave in to the urge to close them, dark clouds instantly flooded my vision.
The clouds lifted to reveal scorched earth.
I tried to blink, but my vision didn’t falter. Like I was here, but not in a human body, just a floating presence. There was no headache, no tingling limbs, none of the discomforts plaguing my everyday life.
The lack of oxygen clawed at my throat – strangling it with the urge to cough, but no sound came out.