Chapter 33.
There was an unusual vulnerability in her eyes when we walked to the bedroom. I rushed to open the door for her, and she chuckled as she walked through it.
“Are you always so sweet or just with me?”
“Just with you,” I confessed, biting my lip in an attempt to contain the warmth her words stirred in me. “You’re the first one in a while who gets to see this side of me.”
“The sweet side?” She turned to place her hands around my waist.
“The whole side. With you, I feel like I don’t have to act casual.
You’ll never think I’m too much, because no matter how much I give, you’ll always eat it up and more.
I need that,” I whispered, reaching out to brush my fingers over her cheek as new tears emerged in my eyes.
This time, I didn’t blink them away. “I need to worship a woman like you.”
Before I could get any more words in, she pushed me against the wall and kissed me like she had something to make up for. She devoured me with her tongue while her hands roamed my body, squeezing and cupping like she wanted to claim every inch of me.
I moaned quietly when her hand traveled between my legs, moving the dress up. I arched my back to shift my hips toward her. A light brush of her finger over the soft fabric of my panties made my whole body shiver violently. She chuckled darkly in my ear.
The hunger was the same, but the pace was different from those other times.
Slower, sensual. She pushed my dress up and muttered a soft command.
Obeying immediately, I raised my hands so she could pull it over my head.
She stepped back to look at me, her dark gaze raking over my body like she was admiring a trophy she’d won.
I shivered under her gaze, but didn’t give her much time to admire me.
I stepped forward, closing the distance between us as I pressed my quivering lips against hers again, fingers reaching out to unzip the zipper on her back.
Zafyra pushed me down on the bed with a force that sucked the breath right out of me. I pressed my legs together as I watched her naked form hovering over me.
“Spread your legs,” she commanded, placing her hands down on either side of me.
Heat rushed through me as I obeyed.
Her hand reached between my legs, fingers circling my inner thigh as she leaned in to place a light kiss on my lips before moving her mouth to my ear. I sucked in a sharp breath through gritted teeth when her finger brushed over my clit again.
“Be careful, please,” I whispered, glancing up at her in uncertainty.
“I know, cinnamon,” she murmured in my ear. “I know you’re so sensitive.”
My body tightened almost painfully, as the desire to feel more of her conflicted with my fear of too much stimulation.
She leaned back slightly to look me in the eye. She hesitated before asking: “Is all clit stimulation uncomfortable for you?”
I looked down. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed about my sensitivity, but still, my face burned.
Her question felt more vulnerable than stripping naked in front of her.
“Not when I do it to myself,” I muttered.
“Only when others do it. The body heat and the direct pressure are too much.” I glanced up at her, half expecting her to laugh, but she didn’t. “Why?”
“Because I want to put my mouth on you, darling,” she said, gently lifting my chin with her hand. “But only if you want,” she added quickly upon noticing my conflicted expression.
I hesitated.
“If you’re unsure, I won’t,” she continued, leaning down to place a soft kiss just below my belly button.
My body tensed. She had made me feel comfortable giving pleasure, devotion and worship, but receiving it?
I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. “But if you’ll allow me, I’ll go slow.
I won’t overwhelm you. I’ll always give you less than you want, and the moment you tell me to stop, I’ll stop.
That won’t change, even now that I’m physically here. ”
“Okay,” I heard myself say. My breath hitched – anticipation, nervousness, I wasn’t sure. “We can try.”
The way her eyes lit up melted me – how could I deny her anything if she wanted it so badly?
My breath hitched when her lips pressed against me for just a second before pulling back, allowing me the time to check in with my body.
Her lips were colder than human lips. Their sensation felt calming, almost soothing rather than overwhelming. My hips jerked toward her involuntarily, seeking more.
She chuckled quietly before brushing her lips over my spot again. A quiet moan escaped me, my fingers digging into the sheets to ground myself.
Her lips moved slowly – agonizingly slowly. She wasn’t kidding when she talked about less than I needed. The moment waves of pleasure started to collide in my hips, she pulled away – again and again. I bit my lip so hard, I tasted blood.
My body shuddered when I felt her tongue – slightly hotter, slightly rougher. I breathed in deeply, trying to decide if it was too much – hard to think straight when she was everywhere, her fingers digging into the insides of my thighs, her tongue teasing my entrance.
She paused, lifting her head to look up at me. “If you need me to stop…”
“No, don’t stop,” I forced out. “Please, just—come sit on my face.”
“What?” She raised her eyebrows.
“I need you to sit on my face,” I whispered, heat rising to my cheeks. “It’s not too much, but it’s easier for me to relax if I have something else to focus on. If I give my mouth something to do,” I rambled.
Her laugh was music to my ears. “You know, you can just say you’re thirsty for me.
No shame in that,” she teased before turning around to lower herself onto my mouth.
I moaned in satisfaction when the familiar scent of fresh soil and wet grass filled my nostrils, and I eagerly opened my mouth to taste her.
She shifted to press her lips down on me again, her tongue dipping just slightly inside, and suddenly she was everywhere – filling my mouth, my nose, my core, until I couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but feel her, smell her, taste her. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
She came loudly, and I relished every moan, every shiver, every twitch. Then, she leaned back down to press her lips against my clit again, but suddenly, the friction was too much. Instinctively, I pushed her off me.
Zafyra blinked slowly, still dazed from her orgasm. “What…”
“I’m sorry.” My eyes widened.
“Don’t apologize.” Her gaze softened as she leaned in to press a kiss on my forehead. She didn’t ask what happened, didn’t demand an explanation. Only when my muscles relaxed did I realize how tense my body felt. “Don’t apologize for what does or doesn’t feel good to you. Ever.”
She said it so sternly, I could only nod.
“You didn’t come.” She leaned back to look at me. “Is that okay?”
I hesitated. “I don’t know how to let go with other people.
” My voice came out brittle. “When it happened in the DreamScape… I thought maybe you fixed… we fixed that part of me.” I swallowed hard, a sudden lump in my throat making it hard to speak.
“But maybe it’s just easier when I’m dreaming, when I don’t have to actually be touched…
but I promise, it’s not that I’m not attracted to you—I am, but—”
I stopped speaking when she lifted my chin.
“I know you’re attracted to me, cinnamon, and I promise you nothing needs to be fixed,” she murmured against my lips. “We can try another time if you want, or not, if you prefer not to. You gave me free will because you insisted I should have a choice. Let me do the same for you.”
I breathed out slowly, allowing myself the time to let her words sink in.
“I think there’s something wrong with me,” I sighed out.
“You joked about fucking me properly, but you weren’t entirely wrong.
I’ve been with sweet, caring partners, and I just felt nothing.
But every time you take control of me… especially when you made me beg and crawl at the biotech facility…
” I blushed at the memory. “I think I’ve never been that turned on,” I confessed, lowering my gaze.
“As if I need your power, your sadism, your degradation to feel something. I’m not sure if that’s a healthy thing, a normal thing. ”
Zafyra pushed herself up on one elbow, her dark eyes gleaming with something dangerous.
“Oh, darling,” she whispered, brushing her fingers over my throat before curling around them.
“We’ve only scratched the surface of how properly I can fuck you.
I know just what you need, and I can give it to you. ”
Heat pooled between my legs, her words enough to stir a fire in me.
“I know.” I bit my lip, part of me already tempted to give in to her seduction. “But don’t you think this part of me still needs to heal? Most kinks are trauma responses, did you know that?”
She slightly relaxed her grip on my throat, but kept her hand there. I lifted my chin, slightly leaning into her touch.
“Why does everything need to be healed?” she said quietly, glancing down at me through heavy eyelids. “Why wouldn’t you be allowed to exist, imperfections and all?”
I opened my mouth to respond, only to realize I had no good answer.
Zafyra crawled on top of me and allowed me to wrap my arms around her. We lay there in silence, listening to each other’s ragged breathing, our naked bodies so intertwined, even reality couldn’t tear us apart anymore.
And this time, it was real. This time, there was no ticking clock counting the seconds until the nanotech in my body would dissolve – and I couldn’t keep my hands off her.