17. Nica
17
NICA
Vinny’s eyes widened to see me. Fair enough, as I’d not texted a warning. “Nica. Hey. Uh, I just had a?—”
“In a minute. I need you to be my bestie right now.”
He cut his gaze around the bar. “Nica.”
I spotted a table a few feet away and all but dragged him to it. “Ew. This table needs to be wiped,” I said as my palm pressed into a ring of condensation.
“Uh, it was recently vacated,” he muttered, yet again glancing around.
“Forget it. Okay, so. I have to say something. And I need you to not be a boy about it. This is the downside of me having no girlfriends anymore, but too bad. Got me?”
Vinny blew out a breath and nodded. “Sure. Assuming this is about a guy?”
“Bingo.”
He arched a dark eyebrow. “How’s the article going?”
My face was already hot. “Audrey says it’s gold,” I whispered.
Vinny beamed. “That’s my sis. Never doubted for a second.”
“Are you going to let me get this out?”
His grin turned sly. “I suspected the two things were related.”
I felt like a tea kettle ready to sing. The words and angsty emotions bubbled deep in my chest as my face got hotter. Finally, it all spilled out in a breathless rush.
“I’m fucking crazy about Ryan Molloy. I can’t stop… I can’t help it. He has me on fire . I want that man to do terrible things to me. Terrible, Vincent. Illegal in several states kind of terrible.”
My brother cringed. “Fuck, sis,” he muttered into his beer.
I punched the table. “Precisely! And before you jump to where I know you’re going to, this is nothing like my goalie crush on Paris. That was fangirling. Silliness. This? This is worse . It’s him . I have the biggest, messiest crush on him . Okay, fine, he’s a fucking brilliant goalie—you were right, I admit it—but that’s not what this is about. I just… I can’t stop caring about him.”
I hung my head and took a shaky breath. “And I know I’m a fool. He’s so far out of my league, Vinny. I don’t know how to stop it, though.”
When I looked up, Vinny’s gaze was over my shoulder. He looked at me quickly and scrunched his face. “Uh, well.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I just had to say it.”
“I think it matters, sis.”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll handle it. It’ll go away. I just needed to get it off my chest.”
His gaze cut again. With a huff, I spun in my chair to see what he was looking at. Just as I did, a blur of green plaid flannel flashed by me. My stomach hit the floor at the all-too-familiar profile walking out the door. I whipped my head behind me, to the door, and behind me again before staring at Vinny, horrified.
“Did he hear me?” I wheezed.
Vinny shrugged. But it was a shrug that screamed hell yeah, he did. My brother sipped his beer. “He likes you.”
The “pfft” I made was so loud that three guys at the bar turned to look at me. I ducked my head and hid behind my hands.
Vinny laughed softly. “Classy. Nicely done.”
“Your fault for talking nonsense.”
Another sip, this time holding my gaze. “He talked to me. Ryan Molloy walked into this bar looking for me . All over you.”
My fingertips had gone numb. I gaped at him, waiting for more.
But Vinny shrugged. “I told him you’d never go for it.”
“Y-you… because of what I said before?”
His eyes rolled. “No. Because you don’t let yourself enjoy life. You work your way through this world and reject the idea that anyone would gift you anything without strings attached. So no way could you let yourself go for someone ‘so far out of your league’—as you just said.”
My brother sat forward and grasped my wrists. “He’s not out of your league, Nica. Any man would be lucky to have you fall for them. Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean shit about what you are worth. Molloy knows how great you are. But neither him knowing that nor my words mean shit here. What matters is what you believe.”
Damn the tears that threatened again. I sucked on my lip as my vision went blurry. “If he liked me, then why did he leave just now?”
Vinny released me and gave me a guilty look. “Might be a little pissed about the fan page and the douchebag you hang out with.”
“You told him?”
He winced. “I thought he knew.”
“Of course he didn’t know, Vincent Solance!”
“Well, sis, he does now.”
My forehead hit the table. Sucking in a ragged breath, I snapped upright, jumped to my feet, and grabbed my bag. “I’ve gotta go. See you later.”
The cold night air hit my face, giving me a little relief from all the bubbly emotions. I hurried off the porch—and nearly collapsed in terror at the 6’2” man leaning against the stairs’ railing. My feet tangled, pitching me off the last step. I stuck my hands out to prepare to meet the gravel. Instead, my fingers wrapped around thick forearms covered in green flannel. My cheek crashed against his chest, but he held me upright.
“In a hurry?” he asked, still holding me.
“How did you move that fast?”
My cheek vibrated with his laugh. “I’m a goalie.”
Ryan steadied me, but I didn’t release his arms. I gazed up at him and wished on the moon, the stars, and every paycheck I’d ever gotten that he didn’t hate my guts.
No such luck. He lasered me with a glare. “Fucking really, Nica? ‘Our Boy Molloy?’ What kind of corny-ass name is that? How could you?”
“How could I what? It’s just a fan page.”
He stepped back and crossed his arms. “Just tell me the truth. What am I to you? A paycheck?”
Ouch . I kept my chin high. “How fucking dare you.”
“How fucking dare you ! Are you using me or what?”
I rasped a laugh. “Using you. Yeah, okay. Sure. That’s clearly what I’ve got going on here. A masterminded scheme to get behind-the-scenes footage of the Commodores’ starting goalie. Look at the goldmine of dirt I’ve shared about you. Did you see where I described what it feels like to kiss you? Or how about the post sharing juicy details about your imposter syndrome? And then there are the screenshots of your messages that I shared with the world.
“Oh, wait . None of that shit is anywhere to be found, now is it? Look at the page, Ryan. It’s Star Wars jokes and action shots. Not even a mention of Henrik. Everything to do with… with… us isn’t part of the job.”
His jaw slid side to side. “All you want is sound bites and photo ops.”
“All I fucking want is you !” Tears hit my eyes. I couldn’t take this anymore. Not after dumping my feelings in Vinny’s lap just minutes ago. “Don’t act like you didn’t hear me. Don’t test me like this. I know who I am. I know I should just want those things. But… but I… I mean, this. This is... this.”
I gestured between us as if my words made any sort of sense.
But Ryan nodded. “Yeah. This is this.”
I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry . I’ll close the page. I’ll figure out how to make a living. But I damn sure won’t bother you again. I’m out of here.”
“Nica.”
“Fucking what now?”
With the same superhuman speed he’d used to catch me—the same speed that he’d used to make that insane save just two nights ago—Ryan’s hands held my face. Our bodies brushed together as he angled me up.
“This,” he whispered just before his lips found mine.
Oh, dear god. That night after Boston, so much fear coursed through my system. Fear of not deserving him. Fear of not being able to keep my messy feels in check. It had changed the way I kissed him and totally robbed me of the pleasure of the moment.
But now, I had no fight left in me. The feels were unchecked, reason and safety were long gone, and I didn’t want to deserve him.
I wanted him .
So instead of setting my jaw and kissing him like I was angry at the world, I melted. Fucking melted into him. My arms slipped around his neck to keep me from puddling on the steps. I swooned into him, letting his lips and tongue tease the ever-loving hell out of me. Every lick, every suck on my lips seemed intentional, as if daring me to resist.
I didn’t want to resist anymore. So I kissed him back with everything I had.
“Nica?” Ryan murmured, pulling back half an inch.
“Hm?”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “Come home with me. You can tell me about which states we’d get arrested in.”
It took me a second to recall what I’d said to Vinny. I groaned as it sank in, and he laughed. We eyed each other—just before falling back into another long kiss. At last, I broke away and swallowed hard. “I’ll follow you.”
He cupped my face, searching my eyes. “Yeah? You can say no.”
“I don’t want to say no.”
Ryan’s fingers slid into my hair. I winced as he toyed with the ends. “You look different.”
“This is what I really look like. Plain old Nica.”
A low, rumbly laugh vibrated from him. “Stop joking. You know you’re gorgeous.”
“I truly do not. Especially without my pretty hair.” I pouted.
His look was nearly feral. Ryan bent his head and scraped his teeth on my lip. He licked where his teeth had just been, and I sucked in a shaky breath. “Don’t give me that pout unless you want it to be kissed.”
I almost collapsed when he released me and spun toward the parking lot. But he caught my hand without even looking, guiding me to follow. I forced my knees to do their job and hurried to my car. Ryan gave me a single nod and shut the door for me. I swung out of the space, waited for his Tesla to appear, and then followed him onto the road.
My phone lit up right away.
“Yes?” I drawled.
“Henrik is staying with the neighbors tonight.”
“I’m very sad to hear that.”
“Sorry. Seemed most practical. More bad news regarding practicality. We have a huge game tomorrow night. I have to be at the rink at ten tomorrow. So, ah, I can’t stay up until dawn. Figure I’ll have to crash around midnight.”
I glanced at the dash clock. “It’s eight. Pretty sure we can be done by then.”
“As usual, you’re underestimating me.” His gravelly voice had a gentle chiding that made me cringe.
“Never gonna let me live it down, are you?”
“No. ‘Better on the bench.’ I will hold that over you until we’re old and gray.”
My heart glowed at the idea of knowing him that long, but I groaned. “Fine. Fine! I was wrong. Just like I was wrong not to go to your room. Happy now?”
He laughed. “Slightly mollified.”
Silence filled the line. We took a few more turns on back roads and pulled into a wide driveway. I killed the engine and sat with my heart in my throat. Never in my life had I been this nervous over a guy.
But this wasn’t a guy. This wasn’t a goalie. This was Ryan .
I closed my eyes and recalled standing on that beach at the wedding. Let life be a little sweeter. You’ll figure everything out, girlie. You always do. For tonight, give yourself permission to just… be caught by someone.
“Nica?” Ryan’s voice came through the car speaker.
With a deep breath, I ended the call and got out of the car. He emerged from his as I strolled around to him.
“You look good, Goalie. Much more put together these days.”
He touched his hair. “Got tired of being teased.”
I stepped toe-to-toe with him and gazed up. My voice was husky, giving away every bit of my thirst. “Did you really?”
“No,” he whispered. “But I can’t have my hot-as-fuck interviewer, slash shopping buddy, slash the girl I can’t stop thinking about, calling me a mess.”
I gripped his shirt and tugged. “Stop calling me hot. I’m not.”
He bent to me. “Trouble? If I have any say in the matter, you’re going to be hot as hell for the next four hours. I’m about to fucking worship your body. You got me?”