Chapter 9 #2
Jo laughed, but her face fell just as quickly.
“It’s not just that. It’s how easy she makes everything feel.
Like I can just be myself with her.” Jo swallowed as she shook her head.
“She’s been there for me from the moment he kicked me out of the house.
God, I even stayed at her place until I found something suitable for me.
It’s just…that’s not what this is about.
It’s not because she’s been supportive. It’s… I’ve been into her since I met Callum.”
“Then it’s a shame you didn’t tell him to fuck off back then and climb into bed with his mum instead. Maybe you wouldn’t have had your heart broken.”
Jo had to agree. Looking back, she should have been braver. “Maybe.”
Ada tilted her head. “Has something happened between you two?”
Jo hesitated as she chewed the inside of her cheek.
“Jo.” Ada pressed.
“No, not like that,” Jo said quickly. “But there’s been…flirting. A few moments. Like, actual moments between us.”
She told Ada everything. From their talk yesterday, to the lingering looks, the barely-there touches, and how Amelia had struck up the flirting on Saturday night for the first time.
Honestly, it felt as though fate had dropped them into each other’s orbit that night, even if they were both trying to pretend otherwise.
“And then she texted me earlier today, asking if we should still do dinner, even after our talk,” Jo said, pulling her knees closer to her chest. “Like…like she was hopeful. Or maybe she was just trying to smooth things over. I don’t know anymore.”
Ada watched her carefully. “Do you want there to be something more with her?”
Jo sighed. “Yes. God, yes. But how could there be?”
“Well, you are single. It’s not like you’re sneaking around behind anyone’s back.”
“I know, but I spent over three years with the potential to be her daughter-in-law. You can’t just erase that, Ada. And I don’t want to mess up the only good connection I have with someone. Losing her…it’s not an option for me.”
“It sounds to me like she was just trying to say the right thing yesterday.”
Jo looked up with a frown.
“I mean, she’s texting you about dinner after you’ve both said it shouldn’t go there. She’s still reaching out. That’s not nothing, and it’s not how someone who thinks it’s a bad idea would usually behave. There should be less contact, not more, in the way of arranging dinner plans.”
As if on cue, Jo’s phone buzzed.
She hesitated, then picked it up. It was a message from Amelia.
I’ve just walked past that tiny Mexican place you like on Hill Street. The one with your favourite taquitos. It made me think of you. Hope work didn’t drain you too much today.
Jo’s heart clenched.
It wasn’t flirtatious, and it wasn’t romantic. But it was personal. Kind. And for Jo, it may as well have been a handwritten letter sealed with a kiss.
She handed her phone to Ada without saying a word.
Ada read it, then whistled low. “That woman does not make it easy, does she?”
Jo groaned inwardly. “Nope.”
“She’s thinking about you.”
“I know.”
Ada leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. “Can I ask something, and you won’t throw me out?”
Jo arched a brow. “I’m sure whatever it is, you’ve probably asked worse.”
“What scares you more? That nothing will happen…or that something will?”
Jo picked up her wine glass again and stared into it as though the answer could be hiding at the bottom.
“Both,” she finally admitted. “If nothing happens, I feel like I’ll always wonder.
You know, did I let something real slip through my fingers because I was too scared to take a chance? But if something does happen…”
“You’ll be opening a door that doesn’t close again,” Ada finished gently.
Jo simply nodded, aware of the emotion working its way up her throat.
“Yeah.” Ada sat back with a sigh. “That’s a lot.”
“It is.”
They sat in silence, sipping wine as the weight of Jo’s confession settled in the room. It was a gorgeous evening outside, the light remaining a little longer with each passing day as spring started to bloom, but in here…where Jo was constantly in her own head, it felt heavy and uncertain.
Ada slid a hand over Jo’s. “You know, you are allowed to want something good, even if it’s complicated.”
Jo swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking repeatedly as she looked down, her thumb swiping idly across the rim of her glass.
“I think I’m just tired of everything feeling wrong.
I’m tired of wondering if I’ll be enough for someone again someday…
and when I’m not thinking that, I’m tired of everything feeling like a risk. ”
Ada squeezed Jo’s hand. “Maybe that’s how you know it’s worth it. When it feels like a risk”
Jo laughed. “God, when did you get so wise?”
“Please. I’ve been giving good advice since I was ten.” Ada shrugged. “No one listened then either.”
Jo rested her head back, grateful for Ada and the honesty she always brought out of her without really trying. That was the true sign of a strong friendship.
Jo’s phone buzzed again, her stomach somersaulting as she reached for it.
Another message from Amelia.
And I just wanted to say that I’ll miss you and our coffee catch-ups if I’ve ruined everything and you don’t want to see me anymore.
You’re the only person who makes me laugh most days.
So, if you can find some time in your schedule over the next few weeks for dinner or even just coffee, let me know.
I can put what I feel for you aside. No pressure x
God, that stupid little x.
Jo pressed her phone to her chest and closed her eyes for a moment.
“Another sweet one?” Ada asked, bringing Jo from all thoughts of Amelia.
Jo nodded. “Yeah.”
“So what are you going to do?”
Truthfully, Jo didn’t know what to do. She would always want to spend time with Amelia, that was a given, but now she had to decide if that was time as friends…
or as something more. Surely if they both felt whatever the hell they seemed to be feeling, then maybe it was a risk worth taking.
“I don’t know yet,” she said. “But I think I need to see her.”
“It will be okay, you know.”
Jo managed a smile, but inside, nothing felt okay. “I guess time will tell.”