Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Amelia couldn’t remember the last time a single look had undone her the way Jo’s had.
That moment—those first seconds when their eyes locked across the room—was still playing on a loop behind her calm expression.
She sipped her drink slowly, her robe tied tightly around her waist now, her legs crossed with a deliberate composure she wasn’t sure was working.
Inside, she was anything other than composed.
Because Jo had looked at her like she was something forbidden.
Something dangerous.
Something…wanted.
Amelia shifted slightly in the booth, trying to relax her shoulders and to keep the ache in her belly from spreading further down.
Jo was still sitting beside her, her face a little flushed, her eyes darting to Amelia’s thighs and then away again.
She was pretending not to think about it, but Amelia could feel the tension building between them.
God, she wished they would just take the risk.
One date. One night in the real world.
It wouldn’t solve everything, but it would mean something. Amelia had never asked for much, not from anyone, but tonight, she would give anything to be with Jo.
For Jo to choose her boldly, regardless of what they’d agreed, like she had done in the dark.
Because that was what haunted her most. The knowing.
Amelia hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the last time they were together in the dark room.
The way Jo had kissed her without hesitation and pushed her back against the wall with that desperate hunger that hadn’t needed words.
Amelia had felt every tremble and every whispered breath.
The way Jo had moaned into her neck when she gripped her hips.
The way her mouth had moved lower, slow and teasing.
And then the moment Amelia had felt Jo’s tongue between her thighs, so certain of what she was doing and what she wanted, she’d all but come undone.
She could still taste her. She could still feel Jo’s breath on her skin, the hot drag of her lips, and the rhythm of her fingers curling just right. And tonight, sitting here with her, pretending that nothing had ever happened between them, was torture.
Amelia pressed the rim of her glass to her bottom lip, trying to cool the fire that had started to rise again. She needed to think about something else. Something safe. She cleared her throat. “I meant to ask…how busy are you this week?”
Jo’s head shot up, caught off guard a little by Amelia’s questioning. “Why?”
“I wanted you to do a shoot for me.”
Jo’s gaze switched between Amelia’s lips and her cleavage. “Oh, I-I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I have a property near completion,” Amelia said, realising where Jo’s mind had just gone. “Big place. Beautiful character. I think it’ll go fast once it hits the market, but the staging company I usually use is behind on the visuals.”
“O-oh.” Jo laughed. “You want me to shoot it?”
“If you’re interested, then yes. I’d love you to shoot it.”
“Yes, of course. That would be great.” Jo shook her head as she looked down into her glass. “I thought you meant something else at first.”
Amelia’s lips curled into a slow, knowing smile. “No. Not lingerie shots.”
Jo, a little flustered, said, “Right. Of course.”
“But now that you mention it…” Amelia let the tease hang in the air for a second before softening. “I’m kidding. It’s just a house. Five beds. South-facing garden. It’ll be lovely once it’s finished.”
“I’d love to. Really.” Jo relaxed slightly, though the blush hadn’t left her cheeks. “It’s funny. This feels like the first normal conversation we’ve had in a while.”
“It’s not exactly easy to stay on-topic when we’re in this place,” Amelia said quietly, gesturing to the low-lit space around them. “I’m sure you agree.”
Jo smiled. “Yeah. I keep forgetting it’s not just a dream.”
“And it never has to be.” Amelia stroked her fingers over the back of Jo’s hand. “Forget everything we’ve said and just remember that.”
Jo’s eyes locked onto Amelia’s again, and for a moment, it felt like everything else had fallen away. The people, the music, the ambience…none of it mattered in this moment.
But then Amelia looked down, pretending to adjust the sleeve of her robe. She wasn’t ready to say what she needed to say. Not yet. Because wanting Jo had never been the problem.
It was keeping her…after.
After Amelia’s past. After the truth. After the dark.
After all of it.
The conversation had drifted into silence again, but Amelia didn’t mind.
Sitting with Jo like this—close, calm, her fingers toying with the stem of her glass—it was more than she’d expected tonight.
But she’d noticed that Jo wasn’t still. She kept glancing around the lounge, her eyes subtly scanning the space as though she was looking for someone.
She’d look away when she caught Amelia watching, but her attention always returned to the same quiet corners of the room.
Amelia watched her for a moment longer, then said, “Are you looking for someone?”
Jo hesitated. Her eyes darted away again, and this time she didn’t try to hide it. “I’m just…” She exhaled through her nose and gave a shrug. “I keep wondering if she’s here.”
“You mean Lia?”
Jo nodded. “It’s not even a Friday night, and she’s probably not the type to hang around midweek.”
Amelia forced her face to remain neutral, even as her stomach twisted.
“I just…I don’t know,” Jo continued, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been dying to be alone with her again. All last week and now this week. It’s like something about her just—” She cut herself off and huffed a laugh. “God, listen to me. I sound obsessed.”
“You don’t.” Amelia shook her head. “It makes sense.”
“It’s more than just the sex,” Jo said quickly, as though she was trying to defend herself. “I mean, the sex is incredible, but it’s the way I feel when I’m with her. I can let go and forget that I’m broken. The connection is…intense.”
God, Amelia wanted to reach out and pull Jo into her arms. She wanted to do so much more than sit here, pretending to be the concerned mother of Jo’s ex. Right now, she didn’t give a fuck who she was to this woman. She just wanted to be her everything.
“I miss that. I miss her,” Jo murmured, her eyes lifting once more towards the far hallway that led to the private rooms. “I keep thinking that if I can just be with her again, I’ll stop feeling like this.
This…stuck.” Jo visibly swallowed and shook her head.
“I think I must have fucked up the last time I was here.”
Amelia’s brows drew together. “I’m sorry?”
“The night I came here…last weekend, she wasn’t here.
She hasn’t been here since, I don’t think.
Or…she knows I’m likely to be around and she doesn’t want to see me in that room anymore.
” The pain in Jo’s eyes was almost too much for Amelia to take.
“Even the faceless woman who sleeps with strangers all the time knows I’m not good enough. I’m a real fucking catch, aren’t I?”
Amelia could feel her heart pounding in her throat, her skin prickling with shame. The woman Jo longed for—the one who made her feel whole, desirable, and safe—was sitting right beside her. And she was nothing more than a fucking coward.
“I guess I just wish I could have had one more night with her, but I knew it was too good to be true. Maybe that’s why I came here tonight.
Maybe I was using meeting you as an excuse, while hoping she would be here.
But she’s not, I checked before when you went to the bathroom. Nobody is in those rooms tonight.”
For a split second, Amelia considered it.
She almost stood up, walked to the reception, and booked the dark room under her alias.
She could have found a reason to leave Jo sitting here while she changed into the version Jo was so desperate to be with.
She could invite her in and touch her. She could make her forget and give her what she needed.
She could be Lia again, just for tonight.
But something inside her recoiled.
It felt different now. More deceptive than it had ever felt before. It no longer felt like just a fantasy or an escape. No, it felt cruel. Because Jo wasn’t choosing her. She didn’t know who she was choosing at all. And Amelia couldn’t live inside that lie anymore.
She looked over at Jo again, took in the furrow between her brows, the restlessness in her body and the way she kept pressing her thighs together subtly under the table like she was trying to calm the ache without drawing attention to it.
She was so alive, yet so vulnerable.
But Amelia couldn’t bring herself to become the lie again. Not tonight. Not when it would mean keeping Jo in the dark just to feel wanted. She drew in a steady breath. “Maybe tonight’s just not meant for that.”
Jo smiled weakly. “Yeah. Maybe not.”
But she didn’t sound convinced.
Amelia wanted to reach across the table and take her hand. To say, ‘She’s not here tonight because she’s sitting right in front of you’, but her throat closed around the words.
She’d initially told herself she was protecting Jo. Now, it felt like she was just protecting herself.
The key scraped against the lock twice before Jo realised her hand was shaking.
She let out a breath, pushed the door open, and stepped into the stillness of her flat.
The light in the hallway was too bright, so she turned it off immediately, opting for the warm, low glow of the side lamp in the lounge.
She stood there for a moment, staring into the room, her pulse pounding in her ears. She slipped her coat from her shoulders and threw it to the couch, her heels quickly following. She didn’t even bother turning on the TV. It was a waste of time.
She didn’t need a distraction. She needed…God, she needed Amelia.