24. Luke
CHAPTER 24
LUKE
I ’m playing angry, and I know it.
Instead of going out with Sophie like I’d hoped, I spent Tuesday evening moving into Payton’s apartment. With Gabe’s wife so close to her due date now, they need to start setting up the nursery. Turns out, Payton needed a roommate, so it made sense.
Unlike anything else in my life, at the moment.
And I’m angry as hell about it. Just when things seemed to fall into place, that article—and Sophie—upended everything. I’m mad at myself for taking a risk with her when I should have listened to my gut from the beginning. But then I got to know the beautiful mind ticking behind those gorgeous brown eyes of hers and quit listening.
Even now, I can’t stop reliving the feel of her in my arms and the soft caress of my lips against hers…the floral yet musky scent of her hair as I nuzzle the spot below her ear…the way she pressed in closer, letting me know she wanted me too.
I’m also mad at hockey—and myself—for wrecking mine and Kinsley’s lives. If my mother wasn’t rushing to yet another one of my games, maybe she’d still be here now, and Kinsley wouldn’t have had to grow up faster than necessary. That kid should seriously consider a minor in psychology.
And I’m mad at a father I don’t even know—who walked out eighteen years ago and could wind up showing up again at some point, especially if he sees that article. The NHL means more money. The last thing I need is a deadbeat dad looking for a handout.
The chaos swirling in my head has made me lose my edge. Instead of using this break on the bench to study my opponent and strategize, I’m consumed with a dark-haired journalist with oversized soulful eyes that make my world spin on an entirely different axis. I need to focus on the game—not Sophie.
Yet, I keep searching the arena for her. Is she here tonight? Now that she’s writing for a national magazine, maybe she considers covering a third tier team beneath her. Or could something have happened to her on the way here? I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, and focus on my breathing. I’m sure she’s fine. She’s just not here.
Two guys from the fourth line return to the bench as Ethan and I flow over the wall and enter the fray of what’s left of the third period. With the score tied, the opposing team has defaulted to playing dirty. Happens that way sometimes, especially when we’re gunning for the Kelly Cup playoffs.
I fly in and steal the puck from their captain, slamming him into the boards. Then I make a run for the offensive zone. Just as I’m getting closer, their enforcer makes a grab for me, misses, then resorts to hooking. The ref’s whistle goes off, as do my gloves.
Next thing I know, I’m going after the guy, fisticuffs in full swing, which sends his helmet flying. A ref pulls me off and sends me to the sin bin to blow off some steam. Gabe will likely chew me out afterward, seeing as we’re just minutes from the end, and I’m stuck in a glass cage for two of them. If we lose this game, that will be my fault too.
Just as my time’s up in the penalty box, Payton makes a goal, putting us ahead and giving me some relief from my self-flagellation. When I leave the box, Gabe waves me to the bench where I watch my teammates maintain our lead, until the final whistle blows and the rest of the team takes the ice for a well-earned celly for winning.
I skate over to join them, but I’m not feeling it. However, I’m the captain, so I want to show up for my team. They carried this game when I was lacking, which I’m grateful for.
The guys line up, each waiting for their turns to touch helmets with Wade and bask in our win. I wait near the end, patting each player on the back for a job well done as they leave the ice.
Jayce pauses next to me. “Jammer came out to play tonight.”
I shake my head. “Not my finest moment.”
He shrugs and moves on, but I can tell he’s assessing my actions and my words. I need to do better. This is the first time I’ve ever been glad my mother wasn’t here because I’m sure that fight would have disappointed her. But what I’m most worried about is what Sophie thinks about me now—if she was even here.
My eyes drift up again in a casual search of the lingering fans and half empty seats surrounding us. Yet no one with bangs and eyes the size of the moon stands out.
Why am I still looking for her? I’m the one who broke our date with no intentions of a redo. But she’s all I can think about. I just can’t seem to move past this feeling of betrayal. Plus, there’s the whole trust issue. How can I be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust?
In front of me, Payton glances over his shoulder. “Good game, Captain.”
“Yeah, thanks to you.”
“We’re not a team of one, bruv. You know that better than most of us.”
Guess I needed a reminder. Or something to punch me out of my self pity. That’s a metaphorical jersey that never fits and tends to have a dingy appearance. Not to mention the stench.
No, thank you.
“Thanks…bruv.”
He shoots a smile at me over his shoulder for using his British slang, then glides forward. Wade pats the back of Payton’s head as they touch helmets and exchange words.
My turn. Wade holds onto me. “Let it go, man.”
“Who says I’m hanging onto it?”
He tugs his helmet off. “Your face. We all lose control at some point.”
I grudgingly nod. “It’s complicated.”
“Doesn’t need to be, Jammer. Just let it roll. It all works out in the end.”
I wish I could share his optimism. Never been my strong suit and after the accident, I think I quit trying. Kinsley pointed out that I don’t engage when she talks about Mom, that I simply grunt. When did I turn into a grump with a hefty touch of cynicism?
And look where it got me? Somewhat humiliated and choking down a serving of humble pie.
I follow behind Wade as we leave the ice and head down the tunnel to the locker room. When we reach the fork that branches toward the guest locker room, I catch a glimpse of the other team’s captain near the entrance. I wave to grab his attention.
He waddles my direction as I approach him. I can already see a welt forming on the side of his jaw from the one punch I landed, which makes me feel lower than low.
I shift my helmet to my left hand and hold out my right one. “Sorry for the punch. I shouldn’t have lost my cool.”
The weight in my chest lifts some when he accepts my shake. “No worries, but I appreciate it.”
We give each other nods to affirm we’re good, then I turn around and find Gabe standing at the fork of the tunnel, hands in his pockets and a concerned expression on his face.
I head his way as fast as my skates will let me. “I screwed up, Coach. Sorry.”
He raises his chin in the direction of the opposing team’s locker room door. “You made good. That counts.”
“Thanks.” When I move past him, he stops me.
“Tampa’s GM was here to watch you play. I didn’t know until near the end. I told him it was an off night for you.”
The weight of his revelation feels like a slam against the boards. And the post-game body aches have nothing on the one spreading in my chest. And Gabe’s not saying anything more.
I hang my head for a moment. “Did I blow my chance?”
He rubs a hand across his mouth. “I don’t think so. I’ll let him know you made a point to apologize without being asked. That should hold some weight.”
I give him a resigned nod. “Thanks, Coach.”
He slides his hands into his pants pockets. “Wanna tell me what that fight was really about?”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
But as I waddle toward the locker room, it’s not jeopardizing my shot with Tampa Bay Lightning that has me twisted up inside.
I’m just going to call her.
And I should. A text is no way to tell someone you’re not interested in dating them. Which, technically, isn’t true. I very much want to date Sophie…and more. She’s like a drug, and I’m having some serious withdrawals.
Maybe I should go to her place. Show up on her doorstep like the guys in those goofy romcoms my sister likes. Kins roped me into watching one with her when she was here last. I never imagined my kid sister to be such a romantic.
With my mind decided, I shift into high gear to get cleaned up. For once, I don’t begrudge putting a suit on after a game. I want to look good for Sophie. Just thinking about seeing her goes a long way in pushing tonight’s events to the back burner.
The cool night air hits my damp hair and sends a chill down my back. I’m laser focused, a man on a mission, to get to my car and drive to Sophie’s. But a small crowd of fans is waiting for us as we walk out, so I do my best to accommodate a few of them without appearing like I’m in a hurry, even though I am.
Finally, I’m able to break away.
“Luke?” Sophie’s voice stops me in my tracks.
I search around me until I spot her by the lamppost. Soft light reflects off her hair but leaves her eyes shadowed, and the yellow glow makes her pink top appear more orange.
But I know it’s pink because I know her.
Or, at least, I thought I did. “Sophie, what are you doing here?”
Stupid question, I know. But I’m not sure where to start.
“I’m supposed to cover the games, remember? It’s my job.” There’s an edge to her voice that I’ve not heard before.
Feeling sheepish, I run a hand through my hair. “Yes, I know. I just didn’t see you tonight, so I thought you were busy…”
She takes a step toward me. A soft breeze carries her sweet scent to my nose, making me want to forget everything and pull her into my arms, as if I’d ached for her for a decade. Because that’s what this knot in my chest feels like.
“Busy?” As she tilts her head, moonlight illuminates her eyes, giving me a clear picture of the question she’s really asking. And the hurt I’ve inflicted.
Might as well be honest with her. “Yeah, I assumed you’d have a bigger assignment by now. ”
She takes another step closer. “Because you thought I leveraged the article I did on you to get a magazine byline.”
Her voice sounds flat yet laced with a hint of frustration.
I can’t bring myself to admit it to her, so I let my silence speak for me.
“I didn’t even know about it, Luke. And the irony is, you found out before I did. Yet you assumed I did it on purpose, despite seeing how mortified I was about the wrong picture being used in the first run.”
I attempt some levity. “You know what they say about making assumptions.”
Something raw flashes in her eyes. “I’m not one of the asses in this equation, Luke. I don’t know what hurts worse—that you didn’t even bother to talk to me about it, or that you could think I would do something like that to you.”
“Sophie, I’m?—”
“You know what’s even more ironic about this. USA Hockey Magazine offered me a job because of the reaction to that article. The fans loved it. And they want more pieces like it.”
Despite not wanting the exposure, I can’t help but be happy for her. This is what she’s wanted, to have recognition for her journalism skills. “That’s great, right?”
“No!” She lifts her hands into the air with her frustration and starts pacing back and forth. “I have no desire to bounce around all over the place, dealing with smelly locker rooms and arrogant hockey players, or riding on stupid buses and sleeping in hotels. I just want to write a column about Sarabella, the town I love and want its residents to know and love too. But I thought you understood that.”
I did understand that about her. But I thought…I made the mistake of assuming ‘opportunistic’ always applied to someone in her field, even if they defined themselves as a journalist and not a reporter. But more importantly, and profession as ide, I should have known Sophie would never do something like that simply because she’s not that kind of person.
I swallow down any pride I have left. “You’re right, Sophie. I am an ass. And I’m so sorry.”
She stops and stares at me. “That was unexpected.”
“What? That I said you were right or admitted I’m an idiot for assuming.”
She blinks. “Both?”
I don’t miss the way she’s trying not to smile, but I see it in those beautiful big brown eyes that make me want to depart my world and enter hers. “Will you forgive me?”
She crosses her arms, but her gaze is borderline flirtatious. “I’ll think about it.”
And she has no idea what she’s doing to me. I slip my hands into my pants pockets, resisting the urge to crush her against me and use my sculpted lips to show her what I’m feeling. We have a chance to turn our rough start into something solid and lasting if she’s willing.
“Okay. I’ll wait.” I let one side of my mouth slide up in a half grin because I can tell she’s putting on a show. She wants to make me work for it, and, surprisingly, I’m okay with that. But first, I’m going to enjoy teasing her a little.
I cross my arms, mimicking her stance without breaking eye contact.
She lets out a frustrated growl and drops her arms. “Whatever.”
When she whirls around to leave, I grab her wrist and yank her toward me. Our bodies collide right before my lips crash onto hers. There’s no way I’m letting her walk away without showing her how much I want and need her in my life.
And she rewards me more than I could have hoped. We’re like two people starved and our only sustenance is each other. The kiss is frantic and passionate, and I’m completely lost in the feel and taste of her. The blaze between us finally simmers to a low burn, making our embrace and kiss more tender and affectionate.
I’m acutely aware of how much I want more of this with her. A lifetime of fiery kisses after some playful teasing. I want her eyes to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see every morning as I reach out and brush long tendrils of hair out of her face. To see her smile and know it’s just for me.
Ethan’s whistle breaches our bubble and grabs my attention. He, along with Payton and Wade, are standing ten feet away, watching us. Mathéo walks over and joins them, flashing a wide grin.
I catch a brief glimpse of Sophie’s deepening blush before she buries her face against my shirt. No doubt I’ll have mascara stains there as well. But I don’t care. I’ll create a favorite shirts collection and rotate wearing them on days I don’t get to see her.
Ethan gives me a pointed look. “Glad to see you quit fighting it, Cap.”
I shake my head at them and growl, “Good night, guys.”
Ethan grins, slipping his hands into his pants pockets as he steps down from the sidewalk. Wade makes a clicking sound in his mouth and points at me with a grin that reveals too many teeth. Payton dips his chin and gives me a subtle salute. And then there’s Mathéo, scurrying after them as if he was late to get the message.
I kiss the top of Sophie’s head. “You can come out now. They’re gone.”
She snuggles in closer and slides her arms underneath my jacket and around my waist. “Don’t wanna. You’re warm.”
Wearing a suit made me oblivious to the chill in the air. I wrap my jacket flaps around her and use my arms to hold them—and her—in place. “That better?”
“Uh hmm.” Her muffled reply is so cute, I can’t help but smile.
“Does this mean you forgive me?”
She tilts her face up. “Look at you, asking questions and not making assumptions.”
Since I have access, I tickle her side, making her squeal and wiggle against me, which ignites the spark between us again. I dip my head to devour her lips, then move on to kiss her neck in a slow and languid manner until a soft moan rises from her delicate throat.
When I lift my head, her eyes are hooded with her own desire, which does crazy things to my insides. I don’t want this moment to end, but we’re out in the open in front of a sports arena and though most of the team and fans have left, there are still enough people around to watch us.
I shrug off my jacket and wrap it around her, then take her hand and lead her down the sidewalk.
“Where are we going?”
“For a walk.”
She crinkles her nose at me. “Around the arena?”
“Everything is closed this time of night, and I haven’t gotten a date with you yet.”
She glances up at me, tugging her lip between her teeth on one side and making me want to restart our make-out session. “Would you be interested in being my date for a rehearsal dinner and wedding?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“Who’s getting married?”
“Mia and Ethan.”
“I’m already invited.”
“But not as my date.” Her voice takes on a flirty, sultry quality that I’ve not heard before.
There are definitely more layers to Sophie Adams than meets the eye, and I’m looking forward to peeling back each one as I get to know her better.
“Well, since I’ll already be there…”
She returns the side tickle, but I grab her hands before she can get very far and pin them behind her back. We’re in between pavement lights which affords us a little more privacy, so I plan to enjoy this to the fullest.
“Yes, I’ll gladly sit next to you at the wedding. I’ll make sure I have tissues.”
“I’m the maid of honor, so I won’t be sitting with you during the service. But tissues might be handy afterward.”
I lean in, pressing her closer as I tease her lips with mine. “I didn’t know you were in the wedding party.”
“Best friend of the bride. And wait until you see my dress.” She nips at my lip, spiking my pulse into overdrive.
“Can’t wait,” I growl against her mouth.
And then I make sure she knows it.