Chapter 19 - Nova
* * *
“Nova? Anybody home?”
Shaking my head out of the daydream I was in, I look at Lizzy standing in her seventh wedding dress of the day. She's been trying them on for hours looking for the perfect dress to walk down the aisle. Our mother has already advised her what dress she picked out and exactly what the expectation was for her hair and make-up, but that was never going to be an option. Lizzy showed me a picture of what she had picked and a cream gown with pearl beading and lace was not going to work. It looked like the entire decade of the 1980s vomited all over that dress, from the puffy sleeves to the overwhelming veil she'd paired with it.
The idea is to just let Mother do whatever she needs to while Lizzy plans to swap things out on the day. She’s even gone to the trouble of being taught how to professionally style her hair and do her own make-up so she can send our mother away before the ceremony to greet the guests. It's all riding on a speech she has planned that it would be terrible for the mother of the bride not to greet the guests and check the venue. She's hoping to play on her emotions so she can at least marry Phillip looking like herself.
“Sorry, I was off in a daze. Ace has been away on this mission for two weeks and I've not heard from him. It's a little unusual, but it's happened before where he can't make contact. I just miss him is all,”
I say, trying not to let my worry show.
She steps down from the raised platform she’s standing on, surrounded by a circle of mirrors, effortlessly gliding toward me in the 6-inch heels she's wearing. She looks like a supermodel as she moves with elegance and grace. Just more evidence of our differences.
“Can I talk with you about something? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I also ... I just want to see you happy, Nova. I know you need time to heal and I don’t want to push you but I also wanted to see if you would be interested in coming out to dinner with Phillip and me ... and his friend, Callum. Like a relaxed double date kind of thing. An easy way for you to test the waters and see if you might be interested in something with someone?”
I can feel the heat rising, the anxiety in my chest causing a blush to creep up my neck.
“No, I can't.”
I gasp, trying to keep a degree of control in my voice. The idea of being in any sort of romantic environment with a stranger is nightmare-inducing. I can barely manage to sleep knowing Phillip is in the same house let alone go on a date with his friend. She has no idea how much I still struggle and I know she means well but there's no way I can even slightly entertain what she's asking.
“Callum is nice, I've met him at a couple of the staff functions at Phillips auditing firm. He's a safe choice, Nova.”
Her voice is calm and soothing, trying to guide me into a place where I can accept the offer she’s presenting. She begins to list all of the reasons I should be doing this, that I should branch out, dip my toes in a no-pressure date. I all but spurt out Ace's name in an attempt to somehow channel him into existence so he can swoop in and save me.
“I can't ... Ace.”
“I know,”
she says, waving her hand in acknowledgment. “I'll deny it if you ever tell Phillip I said this, but that man is built like a god. He could burn my house down and I'd thank him for it. I figured if anything was going to happen between you two it would have by now. Seeing as this is the first trip you've made without him ... I think it's time, Nova.”
The words echo around my head, I figured if anything was going to happen between you two it would have by now, the panic threatening to spill over. I can't tell her why going on a date with Callum wouldn't work. I can't tell her all of the things that still haunt me ... I can't tell her what really happened down there. So I tell her the first thing that pops into my head and the idea of it, the fantasy of it, calms me. Like if he was with me, holding me, loving me while I say the words out loud, hoping that one day they might become my reality.
“I can't go on a date because I'm married. Ace and I ... we, um ... we eloped. He told me he loved me and we eloped soon after. I'm sorry I never said anything. I didn't want to spoil your big day. We just kind of confessed everything and ta-da, we’re married. I love him, there is no other man in the world for me ... he’s my everything.”
The tears build in my eyes as I confess my love for Ace to my sister, a small step forward to maybe one day saying them to the man himself. She reaches out and takes my hand, the usual flinch I make from unexpected contact doesn't happen and I wonder if it's because talking about him calms me, he centres me and makes me brave. I’m happy because I don’t have to keep up my performance. For these few moments, I can live in the dream that Ace is my husband and I am his wife. That everything I've ever wanted is real and he's just away saving people. Because that's the kind of man my Ace is.
A hero.
The Present
Four Years Free
(following directly after prologue)