Chapter 32 - Nova
I Will Rise - Steelfeather, Ashby
* * *
The gentle rise and fall of Ace's breathing is so soothing it’s hypnotic. That, combined with the hum of the truck engine and I've almost forgotten how I've ended up in his lap to begin with.
“I’ll keep you safe. I promise I'll keep you safe,”
he mumbles into the top of my head.
Taking a peek, I see the edge of the lake we stayed at last night twinkling in the moonlight. We’re almost back and I’m relieved that we decided to stay far from the venue when looking into accommodation.
Our tiny room gives me comfort as we pull into the same parking spot we left only hours earlier. Ace turns off the truck and we sit in silence for several minutes. His chest rises and I can feel his mouth open as if he's going to say something but nothing comes out. In the end, I nuzzle into his chest, finding solace in his clean linen smell.
“We should go inside. Get ready for bed,”
I say, hoping to ignore the elephant in the room just a little bit longer.
“Whenever you’re ready. I had some food delivered while we were driving.”
His words are soft but I can still hear the worry laced within them. How can so many years of work, trying to overcome and better myself, all but disappear as soon as I'm confronted by my past again?
I thought I was better than this.
Tilting my head up I kiss the side of Ace's jaw, his eyes seeking mine in the moonlight. This might just be one of the few times the darkness doesn't bother me, because, for the first time, I'm starting to realise the monsters weren't lurking in the dark. They were out there all along, but it's up to me to surround myself with those that bring me joy and happiness ... and love.
“Take me inside, husband,”
I whisper.
The truck door opens and only one set of steps can be heard on the short walk back to our room. Ace carrying me in his arms. Surrounding me. Keeping me safe.
“Do you want to eat or clean up first? There's blood on your face ... I'm sorry.”
His brow is furrowed, his hand showing a faint tremor as he reaches out to tilt my chin. I watch him look me over, his breath stilted as he takes in little things I can't see.
A scrape?
Blood?
Bruises?
He’s looking at my body almost afraid to look me in the eyes. His gaze was hidden back in the truck, the shadows giving comfort, but here, with the bright lights of our room showing all the signs of my earlier struggle, he looks away from me.
“Nova, can I ... can I take off your dress? I need to see if you’re hurt. I just really need to see you ... make sure.”
His voice breaks on the last word and my heart shatters for the man standing in front of me. Despite every person he’s saved and the number of people he has helped over the years, right now, I can see the weight of the night's events hanging heavy on his shoulders. I know I need to help him like the many times he has done for me and ease the burden he carries.
The hard crash of his knees hitting the floor causes me to gasp and I take an involuntary step back. His head hangs low on his chest and I can see how white his knuckles are, placed against his thighs.
This is Ace, my Ace and there's not a cell in my body that thinks he could hurt me, so I step forward. Once. Twice. Not scared of the broken man before me. I move until he’s kneeling directly before me. Tentatively, reaching out, my fingers lightly tracing the curve of his hard jaw and lift his chin to look at mine. His eyes are scrunched, no doubt running through everything he thinks went wrong tonight in his mind.
“Ace? I’m alright. A little shaken, but they won't break me. I won't be broken by those people, not tonight, not ever.”
I say the words as an affirmation for myself as much as he needs to hear it. The years we’ve spent healing from our past will not be unravelled by them. We are stronger than that.
“Thank you. Ace ... James?” Kiss.
Thank you for not pushing me.” Kiss.
Thank you for listening to me.” Kiss.
Thank you for holding me each time I fell apart.” Kiss.
Thank you for protecting me ... thank you for keeping me safe.” Kiss.
A tender kiss placed against his jaw, his cheek, his lips. Each one reinforcing my thanks for everything he's done. It's important he knows that. That he did everything right and I'm better for it. When my body froze, just like our first night together, he saved me.
His eyes flash open. Pain, passion and love, so fiercely shown in his stare and I need to touch him. To feel the heat of his skin against mine. His head presses against my soft belly while his strong arms wrap around my body, holding me so tightly against him. Dragging my fingers through his hair, I grab a fistful, tugging his hair back so he’s forced to look at me again.
“Undress me, Ace. I need you.”
His nostrils flare and his breathing deepens as he pushes the shoulder straps down. I loosen the half zip at the back, my dress falling from my body in a pile of silk. Never once does he break eye contact with me as I stand before him in only my high heels and black lacy panties. A feeling I've not experienced spreads across me.
I feel powerful.
The man I love kneels before me and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, he loves all of me. The broken, scarred, healed version of me. I am enough for him and I am determined to stop anything from getting in the way of living a beautiful life with this man, not even myself. I don't need a lot but I know, I know, I need him.
“Ace.”
I breathe his name.
“Nova, baby. You're so fucking beautiful. I don't deserve the love you give me, after—”
“Every version of you is mine. Mine to cry with. Mine to laugh with. Mine to love. Just like I am to you. All of me is yours, Ace. I need you.”
His eyes drop to my lips and he leans forward, his hands holding my face as he places a tender kiss to my neck, along my jaw, my mouth. The words never again barely audible as I wrap my arms around him. His warmth and strength feed my soul and I can't help the whimper that escapes as I deepen our kiss. Our mouths fight each other in a need to be closer. Our tongues battle with passion and as his strong arms lift me up and I can feel his hardness pressed against me.
“I want all of you,” I moan.
He kisses down my neck as I grind against him, hoping he will offer me the release I'm searching for. Hoping to get lost in his body.
His breathing is heavy and for a second I'm worried he didn't hear me until his fingers dig into my ass, pulling my pussy harder against him.
“I can give you my fingers tonight, love. I don't want our first time to be because of what happened at the dinner. I want our first time to be for us and us alone.”
I can tell how hard he’s controlling himself as he says the words that only make me love and respect him more. Although a part of me is disappointed, I understand where he’s coming from and ultimately I agree.
“Come shower with me,”
I whisper into his mouth, nervous excitement filling me over what's about to happen. Tonight, Ace's fingers will be inside me and I'm dripping at the thought.
He carries us into the bathroom, placing me on the edge of the vanity as he turns the shower on so it will be warm by the time he undresses. I motion for him to come back to me as he loosens his tie. I’m so incredibly turned on by the fact that I’m all but naked. The evidence of my arousal he can no doubt see as I open my legs, pulling him to stand between them by the length of his tie. Reaching up, I take over undressing him. Slowly sliding the tie from around his neck. Pushing each shoulder of his jacket back as he shakes it loose from his arms. The soft thud of it falling unceremoniously to the floor. I slowly undo each button of his shirt, leaving a kiss after each one until I pull it free from where it's tucked into his waistband. Rearing back, a laugh bursts out as I find, not one but three pen knives attached to the holster strapped to his waist.
“Three, Ace! How did I not feel them when we were dancing,”
I say chuckling.
“Technically I had five. These three were a last resort,”
he says, smiling down at me.
“Five! Where were the other two?”
“One in my breast pocket and the other in my pants pocket. In my defence they are fairly unassuming,”
he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Except for the person who questions why you have five pens on you,”
I mumble, shaking my head.
Quickly stripping off the rest of his suit and shoes, he nestles himself in between my legs again, wearing only his boxer briefs and a tentative look in his eyes.
“You sure?”
He questions.
Stretching up, our lips almost touching, I look at him through my lashes, “I'm positive. Make me come all over your fingers, Ace.”
His mouth smashes against mine and within seconds I'm lost in him again. His fingers skim the edge of my hips, dipping inside the waistband of my panties.
“Lift your hips for me, love.”
I push down on the vanity, raising my hips as he slowly pulls my panties down my thighs and legs. His eyes burning with lust as he sees my glistening pussy. Pulling me forward, his hands grab my ass as he lifts me, carrying me into the open shower. The warm water rolls over us, keeping me warm as he leans my back against the shower wall and I cry out from the sudden coldness. The shock of hot to cold only heightening my senses.
I want to feel him.
Trying to reach down to stroke him. I want to see how hard I make his cock but I'm met with the soaked fabric of his boxer briefs.
“This is about you, darlin'. My giant, mega, monster cock is locked away for the night,”
he chuckles. A snort escapes me as I look at his grin and how proud he is of his description.
Giving him my best doe eyes and theatrical pout, I whine, “But what if it doesn't fit?”
“It’ll fit darlin'. I promise that when you're ready, that sweet pussy of yours will welcome me in.”
His eyes burn with desire as he says each word, his hold on my body tightening as we both think of what that will look like. Thoughts flood my mind of his large, chiselled body covering mine, pushing inch after inch of his cock into me and I clench around nothingness, my pussy desperate to be filled. This need to have him inside me is so instinctual my hips rock against him seeking something to relieve the rapidly building ache. Never in a million years did I think he could talk dirty like that. That the man who rescues children and held my Ma’s yarn while she knitted would have such a filthy mouth.
With one hand propped under my ass, he kneads my flesh, his body holding me against the shower wall as his fingers waste no time in finding my clit. A guttural moan escapes me as I tilt my head back. Waves of contentment rolling over me.
“More,” I moan.
Pushing his hand down further, I can feel his fingers at my entrance.
We lock eyes and time stands still as he waits.
The gentle nod of my head is all the permission he needs before pushing two thick fingers inside me, slowly pumping them in and out of my wet pussy.
This is a feeling I'm not familiar with.
I've only had cruel pain and harshness during times of apparent intimacy, but this is what love feels like.
What lust, want and need, feels like, and my whole body starts to come to life with small electric shocks growing stronger, as he continues to work his fingers in and out.
I’m so wet I can hear the vehement sounds of his fingers driving into me over the noise of the shower.
I've made myself come before but it's been nothing like this.
The connection between us only heightened by every touch of his hands, every kiss of his lips.
I can feel his hard cock against my thigh and I vow to repay the pleasure he’s giving me.
Crying out, he moves his thumb to my clit, the pressure growing deeper with each stroke until suddenly it all becomes too much and I explode.
My orgasm rocks through me with such force I can't help but dig my nails into his shoulders as I hold on for dear life.
His fingers continuing to slowly massage inside me until I'm squirming over how sensitive I've become.
Easing them out, he brings them between our faces and licks them clean, groaning from my taste with each suck.
I don't try to stop him this time.
Any embarrassment I was feeling has now been overtaken by a weird fascination over how erotic it is to watch him taste me like this.
“Thank you for giving me that, baby. It was an honour,”
he says as he lowers me to the ground, my shaking legs barely holding me upright.
Lathering his hands with soap, he starts to clean my body and I end up leaning against him for the majority of the shower.
His calloused palms feel like heaven against my skin and I'm almost lulled to sleep from the warmth of the water, not to mention the earth shattering orgasm.
I barely notice when the water is turned off and he continues to support me as he tenderly dries my body, conducting a final inspection of any marks caused from earlier in the evening.
There is one final task keeping me awake though and as much as I want to escape into a blissful sleep, I need to at least try and get a hold of my sister.
Try to explain what I think happened and hope that she doesn't give up on me like everyone else did.