Chapter 20
C arlos was trying, Layla couldn’t deny that.
But she couldn’t help but compare everything he did to Andres.
A month had passed since she’d seen him at the park, and she’d thought of him every damn day.
She’d tried really hard to be in good spirits while she and Carlos had dinner at Fleming’s, but it just didn’t feel the same.
Carlos had apparently picked up on her ill feelings because he’d been quiet the entire drive home.
As they pulled into the driveway, Carlos asked, “Are you just not going to give me credit at all?”
Layla looked over at him briefly before looking out into the darkness.
“I give you credit for all of your effort, Carlos.”
“Maybe you do give me credit, but you’re not giving that same energy back.”
“Were you expecting me to? Because I don’t recall telling you I would.”
He chuckled as he cut the car off, not bothering to put it in the garage, and Layla hoped that meant he was about to leave.
She’d been doing that a lot—hoping he’d leave or come home late.
It was crazy how things changed.
At one point, she was sure all she and Dior needed was his presence, attention, and time.
Now that they had those things, she realized they meant nothing if they weren’t coming from the right man.
“I assumed with you agreeing to give me a chance to fix things that you would.”
Her leg began to shake, but Layla remained calm.
“It’s not that easy for me.”
“Just let me know if I’m wasting my time or not.”
She chuckled with a shake of her head.
“Why? So you can leave and find someone else?” When he didn’t reply, Layla opened her door.
“I want you to continue to work on your relationship with your daughter. Let’s just focus on that, okay?”
“But I came back for the both of you.”
“Well…” She huffed, tightening her grip on the door.
“I’m not available.”
After slamming the door, she headed to the front door of their home.
Carlos was on her heels.
“Fuck you mean you’re not available?”
“I don’t want to discuss this in the house.”
As she opened the door, Carlos slammed it from behind her.
“Then you need to talk to me here. Now.”
Crossing her arms, Layla turned to face him.
“Fine. I don’t want to work on our marriage, Carlos.”
“Now or period?”
Layla thought about it for a while, nibbling on her bottom lip.
“Period.” He took a step back, as if the air had been knocked out of him.
“You can’t just come back and be consistent for a little over a month and think that’s going to right your wrongs.”
“Let’s not act like I’m the only one who fucked up our marriage.”
“I take full responsibility for everything I did wrong. I forgot your birthday twice because the days were running together. I put our daughter above the both of us so much that for a while I let myself go and stopped caring about our intimacy. There were times where I chose staying home over going out with you… a fucking lot. I spent years regretting that every time you cheated on me. But I’ve forgiven myself for that. If you haven’t, that’s not my problem.”
She tried to open the door again, and this time Carlos let her.
“And I’ve apologized for the cheating, Layla. What more do you want me to do?”
“You didn’t just cheat!” she whispered loudly, quickly turning to face him.
“You cheated habitually. You left your family. You proposed to another woman. I’m sorry but I can’t just magically get over that. All the love and respect I had for you diminished every time you disrespected and neglected us after Andres came around.”
“Oh…” He laughed.
“Okay. So that’s what this is about. Him. It don’t matter what I do, does it? This is about you wanting him.”
Running her tongue over her teeth, Layla swallowed hard.
She nibbled her cheek, battling between sparing his ego and finally confessing to her inner battle over the past month.
“Yes, it is.” She saw the moment his chest deflated.
His heart skipped a beat.
His shoulders sagged, but she couldn’t stop now.
“I’m sorry, Carlos, but you came back too late. It doesn’t matter what you do, I will always resent you because I lost… we lost… Andres because of you.”
A door opened, and Layla prayed it was the aide and not Dior.
“Hey, Ma. Look what I made with Crystal.”
“I’ll be right there to see it. Can you wait for me in your room?”
“Nah. Let’s see if she feels the same way.”
As Carlos headed down the hall, Layla grabbed his arm.
“Carlos, please. Don’t bring her into this.”
“Nah. You said I made the both of you lose him. Let’s see if that’s what she wants too.”
Dior’s head tilted as she watched the both of them head in her direction.
“Dior,” he called, pushing Layla back when she tried to step between them.
“Do you miss Andres?”
She nodded.
“Yes. He helped me a lot. And he was my friend.”
“Do you wish he was here instead of me?”
“Carlos!” Layla roared.
“She doesn’t… Why does she have to choose? She can have his help and still have you.”
“Would you like for me to take her back?” Crystal asked, walking over to them.
“Please. And put her headphones on,” Layla replied quickly.
She waited until the door closed to tell Carlos, “You need to leave. If I can’t trust you to have an adult disagreement without making her uncomfortable you don’t need to be here.”
“It ain’t about us having a disagreement. It’s about you trying to have a readymade family with that nigga with my daughter!”
Layla chuckled as her hands lifted and covered her mouth and nose in prayer position.
“I don’t know what else you want from me, Carlos. He hasn’t been here. I haven’t been talking to anyone else. You’re back in the house. You asked me about him. Do you not want me to be honest with you at all? Or do you expect me to magically not have feelings for him?”
“I want you to put your family first and do whatever it takes to make this work.”
“Well that’s not what I want!” she yelled.
“I don’t want you, okay! I wish I would have divorced you when you first asked for it! No, you know what? That’s not true. Everything happened for a reason, and that reason led to us needing Andres, so I don’t regret not divorcing you a year ago. But I do not want to be with you now, Carlos. I’m sorry.”
For seconds on end, he merely stared at her.
It caught Layla completely off guard when his hand gripped her neck and pressed her into the wall.
As she clawed at his hand, Carlos lifted her higher until her toes were dangling off the ground.
The more she fought against him and struggled to breathe, the tighter he held her.
Hearing the struggle, Crystal came out and yelped before threatening to call the police.
Dior, however, wasn’t going to wait for help to arrive.
Layla’s eyes bulged as she watched Dior charge over to her father.
Her fists began to fly like windmills, seemingly pulling Carlos out of his trance.
But not before he forcefully pushed Dior back so hard she fell and toppled over onto her stomach.
The sight of her daughter on the floor gave Layla supernatural strength.
As soon as Carlos loosened his hold, she began to hit him with all of her might…
not stopping until he somehow managed to lower himself and grab her from below.
As Layla fought to get out of his grip, he carried her to their bedroom and threw her on the edge of the bed, choking her until she blacked out.
When she woke up, he was gone, the police were there, and Dior was rocking in the corner of her room.