Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
brEE
There’s nothing like existing in wide open spaces.
Most of the fall leaves have, well, fallen, exposing gangly trees hibernating for winter.
A rare snow flurry came through last night, leaving a light dusting of white on the terrain.
It’s gorgeous and feels like an omen, telling me this is the right thing to do.
Wade insisted we drive back to Texas for the holidays since we had plenty of time, citing how road trips help him relax. I suspect it has more to do with him wanting me to himself for the two-day trip, before we arrive at the ranch where he’ll have to share me with his family.
We talked about everything and anything. He insisted on holding my hand for most of our trip, as if I might disappear in a dream if he let go. I’ve never felt so loved and cherished by a man before—such a drastic contrast to how Chase treated me.
Rebecca turned out to be correct. They suspended Wade for the last three games before the holiday break since the altercation resulted in a player getting knocked out, even though it wasn’t a regulation game. However, Chase Langston is officially no longer playing hockey.
Thanks to Rebecca putting the article in the right hands, Lily and her mysterious connections, and then Sophie’s stellar interviewing skills, the news went viral in the ECHL world, which revealed more of Chase’s shady activities.
The Texas Stars dropped him like a hot potato, and just before we left town, I heard Amber had as well. Guess she doesn’t find former hockey players interesting enough.
Karma is real, people! The thought makes me laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?” Wade hands me a cup of coffee as he sits in the Adirondack chair next to me.
The back porch—more like a deck—faces the lake situated between the house and a copse of trees.
Every morning, a deer and her fawn approach to drink, so we’ve started having our coffee out here so we can watch them.
“Karma.” I sigh, inhaling the aroma of chicory and cardamom while snuggling my down jacket closer around my neck.
He chuckles, letting me know he’s tracking my thoughts without me even saying a word about the interesting turn of events since we left Sarabella. I absolutely love it when he does that.
“Yeah, well, you know what they say about her.”
“Only if you’re mean. Karma can be a force for good, too, you know?
” I squeeze his hand, loving how he wants to touch me all the time, as if I’m his source of peace and strength, and he can’t exist unless he’s connected to me.
And every time he tells me he loves me, his voice takes on a reverent kind of wonder, as if he’s waited his entire life to speak those words to me, which I suppose, in a way, he has.
I just hope he’s okay with my big surprise. I’ve spent weeks on the phone with Nana, hatching a plan we’re both excited about. It’s our big gift to Wade and his sisters, one we hope they’ll love, too.
Piper and Ellie probably will. I’m almost certain of it.
Seeing them again has been like the icing on an already delicious cake.
My parents actually agreed to join us tomorrow on Christmas Day.
They haven’t spent the holiday together in several years, of course, but when I told them about Wade and me, they readily agreed to come. I think they’ll love my idea, too.
It’s Wade I’m most worried about. He’s so selfless where I’m concerned. I know he only wants what’s best for me. But this? This might be a difficult challenge, convincing him it’s the right thing for all of us, including me.
Once we finish our coffee, Wade and I head back inside the house. He heads toward the living room to build a fire, so we can lounge and relax in the den where the Christmas tree stands.
I stop by Nana, who’s slipping another tray of her famous chocolate chip cookies into the oven. She also has gingerbread and sugar cookie dough chilling in the fridge for more baking this afternoon.
“Everything ready?”
She closes the oven door and tosses her oven mitts on the counter. “I put the boxes under the tree.”
Butterflies swarm in my stomach. It’s the moment I’ve anticipated all week. I can’t resist making a quiet squealing sound. “I just hope Wade gets on board.”
Nana gives my chin an affectionate pinch. “Don’t you worry about him, sweetness. He’ll figure it out. He always does.”
She plates several of the warm cookies and follows me into the den. Wade and his sisters are already spread out on the sectional, exchanging more stories about recent events in their lives. I love how close he is with them.
When we drove in on the first day, Nana, Piper, and Ellie walked out on the porch to greet us. Wade opened my door, like the gentleman he is, and then pulled me into his arms and kissed me, surprising us all.
I thought his sisters were going to lose it, which they kind of did, holding each other’s hands while they jumped up and down, squealing like baby pigs. Nana just stood there, smiling as if she’d known all along—I kind of suspect she did.
Wade pats the spot next to him, which I gladly oblige. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, tucking me against him as he presses his lips against my temple, inhaling and kissing me at the same time.
Ellie rolls her eyes. “Weren’t you two just together on the porch?”
He smirks at her. “Yeah, so?”
“Get used to it, El.” Piper nabs a cookie as Nana sets the plate down. “They’re gonna be like this all the time.”
Nana’s special guy, Clint, who we’ve all fallen in love with already, presses a kiss to her cheek. “It’s these Texas women. Hard to resist.”
Watching Nana blush and wave him off fills me with all kinds of warm feelings and imaginings. I tilt my face toward Wade, trying to picture us at their age. Will we still feel like this about each other?
He meets my gaze, then kisses my nose. “We’ll be even better.”
This beautiful bear of a man…reading my mind again. I pinch his side before standing up. He grabs my hand in an attempt to pull me back down, but I manage to evade him.
Nana gives me a small nod—the go-ahead.
My breath is shaky as I take the three slim boxes from under the tree, handing one to Piper, Ellie, and then Wade.
He holds the bright green and red wrapped box in his hands. “Don’t we usually wait until the evening?”
“Nana and I have something extra special for you this year, and we want you to open them now.” I return to my spot next to him, leaving him plenty of room to unfold the documents.
The rustle of wrapping and tissue paper fills the room, accompanying the crackle of the fire. Studying all three of their faces as they unfold the plans we had drawn and absorb what they’re holding is probably the most exhilarating and trepidating thing I’ve ever experienced.
Piper is the first one to gasp. She holds her hand to her mouth, darting her shocked gaze between Nana and me.
“No way.” Ellie’s voice drips with disbelief.
But it’s Wade’s reaction I’m anticipating the most. He keeps scanning the top page, which gives the complete picture of the transformation we’re planning.
I referenced my old binder with all the plans I had wanted to make for my parents’ place when I had the idea of turning it into a venue for weddings, vacations, and weekend events, so all we had to do was put a plan together and hire an architect to bring my ideas to life.
Wade carefully folds the papers and places them on the table. He stares into the fireplace, making it difficult to read what he’s thinking, but his silence feels heavy.
But I know what’s going through his mind. That I’m sacrificing us for an old dream, and I’m pretty sure he’s not saying it because he’s afraid he’ll wind up being the one to crush it this time.
He stands and leaves the room, heading toward the door leading to the back porch.
Nana gives me a small smile. “Maybe give him a few minutes to absorb it.”
A long sigh seeps out of Ellie. “He can be so stubborn sometimes.”
Piper gives me a knowing look. “There’s more to it than that, El.”
Clint makes a tutting sound. “Want me to talk to him? Help him see this is a good thing for all of you?”
As much as I appreciate his heart on this, I know I’m the only one who can help Wade see past the early hurdles of my idea. “Thanks, Clint, but I think he needs to hear it from me.”
He nods as he reaches for Nana’s hand. “It’s not like we won’t be here on occasion to help out. Just not in the beginning.” He plants a kiss on her fingers. “We have some exploring of our own to do first.”
Nana beams at him. I love seeing her so happy, and I want that too, for Wade and me.
I rise from the couch, running nervous hands down my thighs. “I’ll go talk to him.”
When I walk out onto the deck, Wade’s leaning on the railing overlooking the lawn and the dock by the lake. I run my hand up his back, letting him know I’m here. His warmth strengthens me, as I hope my presence will for him.
“Wade, we can make this work. Once we have everything in place and things start moving, I can go back and forth. And you travel so much of the season as it is. I can come for visits and drive to nearby games. Then, in the summer, we can be together. Here.”
He turns his head, staring at me over his shoulder. “Is this really what you want?”
“Yes. You know this was always my dream.” I run my fingers along the side of his head, loving the feel of his auburn strands. He’s let his beard and hair grow in more for the second half of the season, and it suits him.
He drops his gaze. “I know, I just thought you were happy in Sarabella. With me.”
I push his shoulder back so he’ll face me. “I was—am. But this is an answer that works for all of us. You won’t have to give up the ranch.”
His jaw pulses. “Bree, I care more about you than this ranch. And I thought you felt the same.”
“I do. Of course I do.” I try to hug him, but he steps back.
“But you’re choosing something other than me again.”
My heart lurches at his words, and at the rawness baring itself in his face. “What do you mean?”
He scrapes a hand over his mouth before letting out a resigned sigh. “When I found out you dated Chase, my first thought was, why didn’t she pick me? I know that sounds crazy, but it’s the truth.”
My eyes burn. “Oh, Wade. I’m so, so sorry. If I’d known how you felt—”
“I know. That’s on me.” He holds my hands in his. “Just tell me that’s not what’s happening here. That you don’t want this more than you want me.”
I step into the circle of his arms. “Wade, I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing this for us. For our future. For the family we’ll raise here. For our family gatherings—”
“Family? As in kids?” Wonder blankets his gaze, making me realize I haven’t said THE most important words in all of this.
I link my fingers behind his neck, lifting to kiss him lightly on the lips, careful not to touch the area still healing. “I love you, Wade. Being your best friend is great, but I want a lot more with you.”
His lips slowly spread into a smile that makes my heart stutter. “I want all of that, too. I just didn’t realize you’d thought that far. About us.”
“It’s you. How could I not?”
Heat ignites in his gaze, mixed with love.
So much love. And I drown in it as he lowers his head, capturing my lips in a delicate yet soul-changing kiss that claims me as his in all the best ways.
I don’t know how I missed it all these years, the way this man loves me, making me feel cherished and wanted as if I’m the center of his world.
But I know now. I see it. I want it. I love it.
More importantly, I love him. With all my heart.