Anthony #4
I nodded because it wasn’t anything big but I was trying to stop diminishing what I was doing when it came to her. “It’s my pleasure to take care of you. But I want to know how this match went since I couldn’t see it.”
She pulled out her silverware and pulled the fries out of the bag as she started to tell me about the match.
We ate steak and fries with a side of lobster as she walked me through the issues and successes she’d had today.
I’d never spoken with another athlete about their sport but I’d been researching tennis just so I could follow where she was going.
In the end, all I could gather was that she’d beaten their ass but she was still thinking she needed to improve on her serves before she got to Wimbledon.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t be eating like this.” She looked down at the food we’d smashed and then glanced back at me.
“Why not? It’s food and we paid for it. You don’t like it? I’m sure there’s plenty we could order around here.”
“No, it’s not that. I just know I’m eating like food is a new concept for me.”
“You’re eating like an athlete coming down off the adrenaline of a game. Your body is craving fuel so who cares how you eat it?”
I wasn’t about to dig into the whys of her statement because I already knew her people were behind it.
My job wasn’t to understand the why behind what she was feeling.
That would have to be something she worked out on her own.
My place was to let her know that whatever preconceived notions she had about herself could be left at the door because every version of Aphrodite Harper was going to be celebrated in my presence.
She looked more at ease than before and I hoped there would come a time that she wouldn’t have to second-guess herself around me. But my ass was letting my mommy issues jump into the present so I couldn’t be too hard on her.
“Well, thank you. And thank you for dinner.”
“You’re welcome. I get not wanting to go out but to me this doesn’t even count as something you should thank me for. We gotta have a proper date at some point.”
“Technically, we did already, right? I think Leo would be pissed if you didn’t count his food as food.”
I grinned thinking about the day that lasted into the next morning and the bomb ass food we had while we explored the city. “You right. I don’t want to get on his bad side at all. We already going to beat that ass in the opening game this year.”
She rolled her eyes as she put her napkin on the table. “You’re lucky I don’t like football or else I’d be offended by that.”
“Ain’t you from Jersey? Shouldn’t you not like them either? I mean I know everything is technically in Jersey but you should be even more bitter about that.”
“Bitter?”
“Yeah cause they taking y’all land and wouldn’t even let y’all get one of the two teams. Hell, they got a third in the upstate; they're just being stingy.”
“Why are you making me think about this because I’m actually getting upset. Taking up all that land in Jersey but only claiming New York. Damn they're fucking up our property taxes and then they treat us like stepchildren! I’mma have to talk to my neighbor about that.”
“You ‘bout to organize a boycott or something?” I chugged down the rest of my water bottle waiting on her answer.
“No, my neighbor works for the team. Like a few of them do I believe. But for one of each of the teams…”
“I keep forgetting that we grew up different.”
Her brow quirked and I knew she was about to dig in my ass. “You went to the top private school in Louisiana, if I remember correctly.”
“Yeah but I had an absent father and a ghetto fabulous mother. And our life ain’t really get that much better until ’Twan got drafted. I was a scholarship kid for most of that.”
“Well, my dad was neglectful and my mother was so over the top nouveau riche that it took a long time for people to accept her. She was one of those women in the nineties who did their best to fit in.”
“So not too different besides the zip code, huh?”
“Nope. That doesn’t bother you does it?”
“What?”
“The money thing.” She was toying with the wineglass that held the red wine she’d requested. She limited herself to the one glass and said she was only having it because she won.
“I should be asking if it bothers you. I know that it ain’t really the thing that women look at doing right now. Dating below them—”
She scoffed and folded her arms across her chest. The move tugged at her shirt pulling down the neckline even as it flattened out her chest. “You’re a professional athlete the same way I am, so how are you beneath me in the dating pool?”
“Financially—”
“Oh my God, Anthony, not this again.” Aphrodite threw her hands up and dramatically fell back against the sofa as if this conversation was pointless.
“I have no problem with where I am. I just don’t want you to.”
“Why would I? You never let me spend my money the few times we’ve been together. You’re constantly spending money on me—” her eyes darted up and her head tilted. “Wait, are you doing that so that I don’t feel some kind of way?”
“No, I’m doing it because I want to impress you. Because I want to court you the right way.”
“I thought you were joking about that.”
“Why would I joke about it? I’ve already thought about ways to get out to your matches once you’re comfortable with me being there. I want you to know you have the same support that I’ve always felt.”
“You trying to make me fall in love or something?” She was smiling at me thinking that her question was going to be taken lightly, but it wasn’t.
“And if I were?”
“Why would you want to?” A worthy question and I appreciated that she wasn’t about to have me playing around with her.
“It’s something that’s inevitable when it comes to you, Phro. There aren’t words to explain the shit; it’s just a fact that swims around in my head. That you’re somebody to me. That somebody.”
“You quoting Aaliyah now?” She was being playful but I wasn’t.
“I mean, if it fits.”
Her face reddened slightly and I loved thinking that my words had the impact on her that they had on me saying them. She was…beautiful. More inside than out but the outside was fucking perfection. How could I not want something legit with her?
“You know the craziest thing about how I feel around you?”
“Enlighten me, Phro.” I leaned back against the sofa but made sure to keep my distance so she could speak her mind without my interference.
She angled her body toward me, something that was dangerous as hell with the way her thighs were playing peekaboo in them shorts.
“You make me feel like a human. And not like a product. Or someone just waiting to exploit me somehow. With everyone around me, I know they need something from me. My parents need me to win so they can continue to be involved in the world that has kept them bonded for twenty-plus years. My father can’t let go of the game so I have to withstand his pressure just so he can feel relevant.
My coach needs me to perform so she stays employed.
I mean you saw how her ass acted earlier.
Everyone from my nutritionist to my masseuse needs something from me. ”
“I can’t lie, I need you too, Phro.”
“How do you mean?”
“I’ve grown addicted to the feeling you give me.
And not in an arrogant way but your presence just makes me happy .
And I want to give you the same feeling.
So I send you flowers to let you know I’m thinking about you.
Or to tell you I’m proud of you. I’m conscious of the feelings I may have internalized because of how I was raised so I make sure I’m present as much as possible along with the presents.
” I motioned to the table that held dinner and the flowers.
“You’re doing both well.”
“Good. That’s exactly what I want to hear. And I’m not ignorant of the fact that our schedules will get complicated but I want you to understand now that you’re a priority for me. So that you know when I’m missing for a minute it’s out of obligation not my lack of care.”
“You’re killing me, Anthony.” She had her hands pressed against her chest like my words overwhelmed her.
“Shit, I was hoping I was healing you. Making you feel the way I do when I’m wit’ you.”
“That’s what you’re doing and I never thought that healing would be so unsettling.”
“That’s the part no one tells you. You get used to the neglect. To the toxicity of your previous interactions and normalcy will feel foreign. It takes a lot for that feeling to wane but I hope like me you’re in it for the long haul.”
“I am, I just pray you have the patience to deal with me.”
“The last thing you have to worry about is me not being man enough or strong enough to handle what comes with you. I got my own shit we might have to reckon with so I’m asking the same of you.”
“We've got this.” Her smile was soft and her voice was low and the mood shifted when she softly uttered that affirmation.
“I ain’t trying to cross the line, Phro, but I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“You're asking?” Her voice dropped lower, her faces coming closer to mine.
“Damn near begging.”
“Let me brush—”
“Girl, you overthinking. I ain’t the type of nigga to be pissed if your breath ain’t minty fresh. My tongue has been in your pussy already Phro, get out your head and say yes.”
“Yes, you don’t have to ask.”