Chapter 23
ANDREA
The sight of a Range Rover with blacked-out windows escaped Andrea’s attention as she walked past it, heading home from the office.
It had been a long day of figures and administration, all of which, she realised, took a heck of a lot longer without Hannah, which meant she had spent her Sunday in the office, alone, working through a backlog of tasks.
The sky was dark, despite it being June, which told her without needing to check a device that she had been in the office late into the evening.
Her stomach growled with hunger, since she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. All she really wanted to do was crawl into bed, but there was something the size of a small vegetable growing inside her that needed to be fed.
As she crossed the street towards her apartment building, the door to the Range Rover opened and the person who stepped out of it made her pause in the middle of the road.
Tommy.
She was rooted to one spot, watching him close the door and fold his arms across his chest as he leaned back against the vehicle.
‘It’s been repaired,’ he said, gesturing to the front of the Range Rover.
She suddenly felt extremely weak, her legs drained of energy. In the middle of the road there was nothing to hold on to, and she swayed.
‘I’m sorry about that,’ she managed, still unable to take her eyes off Tommy and get a handle on the tightness in her chest and stomach at the sight of him.
It had been just over a week since her trip to The Hamptons, since her car accident, since three pregnancy test kits gave her a positive result, since she ditched the damaged car with Tommy’s security guy and left without explanation.
It felt like it had been much longer. Her body yearned to go to Tommy, to throw itself into his arms. Her mind reminded her of every fear she had – that he had no idea she was carrying a child, that she didn’t know who the father was, that there was a chance she had been stupid enough to get pregnant with Tommy when things had maybe, possibly, had a chance of working out between them.
‘I’m not bothered about the car, Andi. I’m here because I’ve given you more than enough time to get in touch and explain why you ran out on me, again.’
He stood straight, taking his back off the car. ‘Could you please get out of the road?’
At that moment, a cab came hurtling towards her. Her eyes widened but she didn’t move as the cab passed so close by her, the force blew her hair back from her shoulders.
Instinctively, her hands covered her tummy. Sorry, Bean. I’m sorry.
Tommy’s concerned gaze moved from Andrea’s face to the hands covering her unborn child, and back to her face. His eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed, but he said nothing as Andrea crossed the road towards him, thinking she had to face up to him at some point. Now was as bad as any time.
‘Come up?’ she asked, moving beyond Tommy and opening the entrance gate to the apartment block. ‘Can I get you a drink of something?’ She stepped into her apartment ahead of Tommy and flicked on the lights.
‘You tell me,’ he said, folding his arms across his chest, again, and coming to lean against the lounge wall as Andrea set down her bag and work papers then removed her jacket. ‘Will I be here long?’
She sighed. ‘Could you at least try not to be a dick? I’ve had a long day and an even longer week.’
She flicked on her record player, and the last vinyl she had been listening to started to play.
It was an EP from a relatively up-and-coming indie artist whom she had an eye on to bring over to Stellar.
Her lyrics were so beautiful they were almost poetic.
Her voice was soft but she could rock out in a chorus and spice up a key change.
Hazarding a glance at Tommy as she headed past him and into her kitchen, she found him stone-faced. How in the hell was she supposed to start this conversation? How should she reveal the truth of everything?
As those questions made her mind spin, her body’s lack of energy made her sway. Gripping the kitchen countertop, she closed her eyes, willing the room to still around her.
‘Andi? Andi, are you okay?’
Tommy’s arms came around her waist and she felt a stool press against her legs. Taking a seat, she came back to herself and felt like a damsel in distress – pathetic.
‘I just need to eat something,’ she said. ‘I’ll be fine in a minute.’
She tried to stand but Tommy pressed down gently on her shoulders. ‘Stay. I’ll fix you something.’
‘There’s bread by the refrigerator,’ she said, in no position to argue.
Tommy set a glass of water in front of her, hung up his leather jacket, and set about making noise and mess behind her.
Andrea turned on her stool to watch him move around her kitchen, overwhelmed by a sense of homeliness that she had never felt in her apartment before. Those pregnancy hormones were no joke.
Tommy didn’t speak as he set about cracking eggs into a pan and toasting bread. She wondered if he was also struggling for the right thing to say.
‘I’m sorry for leaving the way I did,’ Andrea said. Tommy stilled momentarily, his back to her, then continued going about his business in silence. ‘I’m also sorry about the car.’
Then he glared at her, and she got the point that he really didn’t give a crap about the damage to the car. He started to chop a pepper Andrea hadn’t even realised was in her refrigerator. Boy, he’s a tough audience.
‘It had been a really rough day,’ she continued, turning her water glass between her fingers in her lap.
Finally, Tommy spoke. ‘I’d like to think we were maybe getting to a point where we would share a rough day with each other.’ His tone was curt.
Oil spattered as he dropped the cold peppers into a hot pan. For as long as it took Tommy to turn out an omelette and two slices of toast and set them down on the countertop in front of Andrea, the pair remained silent.
As Andrea tucked into what was a surprisingly tasty plate of food, Tommy pulled up a stool on the opposite side of the counter.
‘Who is this singing?’ he asked.
She covered her mouth of half-chewed food with her fingertips and said, ‘Her name is Hayley Pearce. Do you like her sound? She’s indie and I’d like to work with her.’ She scoffed once her mouth was empty. ‘Not that I get to do much with artists these days but I’d like to bring her to Stellar.’
‘She’s good,’ Tommy said. Then he clasped his hands and leaned his forearms on the countertop and asked, ‘Do you want to be with me, Andi? Like, forget anything else, just answer me, right now, just you and me, nothing and no one else. Do you want to be with me?’
She swallowed the mouthful of food she had, almost choking.
‘Look, I know I’m not the world’s finest prospect,’ he continued. ‘I know that we’d have to work through schedules and touring. I have a past and I’m sure me telling you I’ve changed isn’t enough to scratch that. But I’m asking you, in this moment, if you want to try?’
‘Tommy, I?—’
‘Do you want to try?’
His eyes bored into hers and she knew, honestly, if there was nothing and no one else, then, ‘Yes.’
He hung his head and sighed. His unexpected relief was enough to bring tears to Andrea’s eyes.
She set her empty plate aside and reached out for his hands, wrapping hers around them. ‘But, Tommy, it isn’t that simple. I need to tell you something.’
He slipped a hand out of hers and took something from the back pocket of his indigo jeans, then set it down on the counter between them.
‘Is it anything to do with this?’ he asked.
She peered down to what was a receipt for three pregnancy test kits, her mouth opening and closing but not forming coherent words.
‘It was in the car when you returned it last week. Andi, are you pregnant?’
With his words came the stark reality that she’d been paying lip-service to him as far as she could. Warm tears fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. ‘Yes.’
Tommy exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Mike found this when he was cleaning up the car. I’ve had it for a week. And I’ve played out every scenario in my mind. You found out you weren’t pregnant. You found out you were. It’s my baby. It’s not my baby. I’m going crazy, here, Andi.
‘But today, I asked myself what I just asked you – do I want to be with you, regardless of anyone and anything else? The answer is yes. So I need you to level with me. Tell me what I need to know, Andi.’
She wasn’t sobbing, yet her tears kept rolling down her cheeks.
‘I don’t know whose baby it is, Tommy. I’m so sorry.
I’m so ashamed, for me, for you, for the baby.
It could be Hunter’s. It could be yours.
I can’t find out for another couple of weeks.
And I’m sorry that I ran but I was afraid.
I’ve never thought about having children.
I’m pretty sure I’d be a disaster as a mom.
Then I thought it must be Hunter’s and I told him… ’
Then she was sobbing. ‘He threw his credit card at me and told me to fix it.’
Tommy moved his stool so he was sitting next to her and tugged her into his chest. It was uncomfortable and…
terrifying. She’d never sobbed on anyone’s shoulder since she was a girl being comforted by her mom.
But she was broken, and in Tommy’s arms she fell apart.
She wasn’t the CEO who had her shit together, she wasn’t the quasi sister-mom-wife she had been forced to be for years, she wasn’t the friend who kept things together for others.
She was just a woman, scared and in need of someone else to prop her up.
When she calmed in his arms, she realised Tommy was pressing his lips to her head, over and over, as he sang to her barely above a whisper.
Sitting up, she wiped her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, I think you just got thirty years of repressed tears.’ A short sombre laugh escaped her.
‘I’ll take all of your tears, Andi, as your partner or your friend. Do you hear me?’
She exhaled an unsteady breath. ‘Quit being so nice to me, Tommy. I’ve made a mess of everything.’