Chapter 9 #2
“It’s not a glitch, baby. It’s a superpower.
You just haven’t learned how to use it. You’ve never had a need to until now.
You’ve been able to shut others out, sure.
In freeform, you’d go off on your own, so others wouldn’t hear your thoughts cutting in and out.
But Tobin, you let me in. When you wanted to protect me, you let me in. ”
Tobin was stunned, unsure if what Fray was saying could be true. It would make sense, and fucking hell, it would have made his life so much easier if he’d known sooner.
He couldn’t help but feel a little choked up. “Do you think...?”
Fray groaned, and Tobin realised he could feel his pain. Tobin pulled it back immediately, and Fray shook his head. “Don’t hide it from me. Let me feel it. It won’t be so heavy if you share it with me.”
Tobin shook his head, and Fray cupped his face, his eyes imploring.
“Tobin, my love. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you.
You have a gift. You can hide your thoughts and your feelings.
” He pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “But you can also let me in. You can let me love you—all of you.”
Tobin swallowed hard. He knew he should do this.
This was Fray. This was his mate. His bonded one.
He didn’t have to hide anything from him.
Even when Tobin’s kneejerk reaction was to retreat—to put his walls up, as Fray had said—he had to share it with him.
It wouldn’t be fair on Fray to withhold anything.
He owed him honesty.
So he let his walls down and allowed himself this moment to feel. Tobin knew the moment Fray realised because he inhaled sharply and his eyes went soft. “There you are. Oh, thank you.”
Tobin closed his eyes and leant his forehead on Fray’s, and he’d almost forgotten Ciaran and Sawyer were beside them. He glanced at them, a little embarrassed, but oh so thankful for Fray.
“So all those times you opted to swim alone,” Ciaran said softly, “it was because you didn’t want us to know?”
“I, uh.... I can’t always control it. I could hold it for a little while if I was focused, but...”
“He wasn’t hiding anything. Not on purpose,” Fray said.
He slid his hand to Tobin’s lower back, pressing himself into his side.
“He didn’t know. He thought there was something wrong with him.
He was told by his family there was something wrong with him because as a hatchling his thoughts would cut in and out.
He was young, and they should have seen it for what it was.
” Fray looked at Tobin, his eyes and smile both soft and warm.
He gently thumbed Tobin’s cheek. “He retreats inward and puts his walls up because it’s safe there.
No one can hurt him if he doesn’t allow himself to feel. ”
Tobin closed his eyes, hating that his worst fears were now out in the open. Hating that Fray saw right through him.
Saw him.
“No, baby,” Fray said. “You’re special. Your talent is remarkable.”
Tobin shook his head, refusing to believe it. Not wanting to let hope in...
But Fray kissed him again, with a tenderness that made his hearts both ache and hum with something wonderful.
“It’s a gift,” he murmured. “A talent. And it could be a very useful talent.”
“Useful?” Tobin asked. Because how on earth was his biggest flaw “useful”?
“Are you talking about sex?” Sawyer asked. “Because I could definitely see the benefits.”
Fray chuckled. “No, but I like the way you think, Sawyer. You glorious fucking perv.”
Ciaran raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Fray. “Hey.”
Fray chuckled and, taking Tobin’s hand, faced Ciaran and Sawyer.
“It’s useful as a tactical asset. He can be in freeform, undetected; if others can’t hear him, they’d never know he was there.
Even if he’s with others, like my cousins, for example, he can hide information from them if it benefits us. ”
Ciaran cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean? Why would we hide anything from them?”
“They’re hiding something from us,” Fray said. “I’m sure of it.”
Tobin gave a nod. “Yeah. I agree. Kinda got the feeling they were scouting for information. And they said something about Salem that was weird.”
“Salem?” Ciaran asked.
Fray nodded. “Yeah. Arvid and Lukas were asking about Cern Brown, and I told them we couldn’t tell them anything and that there was a treaty in place. Then Arvid asked if the treaty included Salem. We both kinda laughed, but they looked at us like ‘Oh shit, you didn’t know.’”
Ciaran stared for a long beat, then blinked as if his brain had to recalibrate, but Sawyer smiled.
“Really? On the note Ricky Carpenter left me with the info about you guys, he said not to say anything in front of Salem. I thought he was talking about a guy, and when I learned the cat’s name, I wondered if Carpenter’s cheese had actually slid off his cracker. ”
Fray snorted, but Ciaran hummed an annoyed sound, his eyes narrowing. “I never liked that cat.”
Fray barked out a laugh. “You didn’t like the cat because Sawyer cuddled it before he ever touched you.”
Ciaran lasered his annoyed glare at Fray instead, but Sawyer laughed, his smile and eyes wide. “Were you jealous?”
Ciaran pouted. “No.”
“He absolutely was,” Fray said with a grin. “You picked up the cat and held it to your chest, and Ciaran just about lost his mind. Though he did only threaten to kill Salem a few times. He never actually tried to do it.”
This was the best thing Sawyer had ever heard, apparently, but Ciaran wasn’t impressed. He looked at Fray and sniffed. “Want Tobin to hear about all the times you lost your mind over him?”
“Yes,” Fray said. “In chronological order, starting from the very beginning. Aaaand, go.”
Ciaran sighed, defeated. “Hey, Fray?” he said, his tone far too cheerful. “Fuck off.”
Fray laughed, and it made Tobin smile because Ciaran and Fray had spent their entire lives telling each other to fuck off. Tobin had always admired their friendship, wishing he’d had the same. Wishing he’d allowed himself the chance to have a friendship like theirs.
Fray rubbed Tobin’s back, and he realised that Fray could still feel his emotions. His immediate reaction was to put his defences up again, but he fought against the urge. It wasn’t without some effort that he left his walls down and tried to be relaxed about it.
And, of course, Fray felt that too. He leaned into him, kissing his shoulder with a soft smile.
“So,” Sawyer said. “What is Salem if he’s not actually a cat?
” They all looked at him, and he shrugged.
“Why else would the Norwegians assume he falls under a treaty if he’s not, you know, actually a cat?
Like how you guys are not octopuses and like how Cern Brown isn’t.
..” He made a face. “Isn’t actually a 102-year-old human man. ”
Tobin and Fray both looked at Sawyer, then at Ciaran. He put his hands up. “I never told him.”
“I joined the dots,” Sawyer said. “Which wasn’t exactly difficult, mind you. So...” He looked at each of them in turn. “Salem? What is he?”
None of them really had an answer for that. Because he was a cat. The village cat. He’d always been just a cat.
Except it now looked like maybe he wasn’t just a cat at all?
Fray shrugged. “And what aren’t my cousins telling us? They’re definitely hiding something.”
“I agree,” Sawyer murmured. “Sorry, but they’ve been having a lot of private conversations and sharing knowing looks, and they swim alone.
I get that they’re older and have that holier-than-thou thing going on, and they’ve come a long way to help, which is great, I appreciate that so much, but they know more than they’re letting on. ”
Ciaran conceded with a sigh and a nod. “Yeah, I get that vibe too.”
The four of them stood there for a moment.
“And that leaves the most important question,” Fray said with the hint of a smile. “Who’s next?”
“Who’s next for what?” Ciaran asked.
“To be bonded,” he replied. “Cern said there’d be more, right? It can’t just be us, can it?”
Tobin smiled at Fray, at how cute he was.
“My money’s on Kellan and Dylan,” Ciaran said, shrugging one shoulder.
Sawyer gasped, mouth and eyes wide open. “Oh my god. That would be awesome.”
“No, Dylan and Hendrix,” Tobin added. “They’re always together.”
“Not gonna lie,” Ciaran mumbled, then whispered, “I think Hendrix needs someone like Otis. Someone strong enough to keep him in line.”
Fray laughed. “You mean someone with the unspoken threat of extreme violence and zero tolerance for Hendrix’s bullshit.”
Ciaran nodded. “Yep.”
“You’re both wrong,” Sawyer said. “If they were bonded, Otis would adore Hendrix’s shenanigans and his smartarse mouth, and Otis would never ever get mad at Hendrix again. In fact, it would probably bolster him and make him worse.”
Ciaran and Fray both groaned. “Dear gods, could you imagine?” Ciaran said, shaking his head. “And could you imagine trying to stop Otis if someone looked at Hendrix the wrong way? It’d be bloodshed, the likes of which we’ve never seen.”
Tobin chuckled. “Nope. You’re all wrong.
If Hendrix bonds with anyone, he would be so humbled.
He’d be a different guy. And Otis would become the biggest sweetheart.
He’s already a sweetheart, but could you imagine him being all lovestruck and gooey-eyed?
” Then he sighed. “But yeah, I wouldn’t want anyone to threaten his mate. Because I’m not intervening.”
“Yeah, no. You’re not going near him when he’s mad,” Fray said as he nuzzled in closer to Tobin’s side, his arms tightening around him, his chin on Tobin’s shoulder, close enough to his neck that Tobin could feel his breath.
It sent a shiver through Tobin, and his body reacted without his brain’s permission.
Tobin grunted as he pulled Fray closer, his hand sliding down to Fray’s arse, and he kissed him. Fray’s mouth opened, tongues colliding and Fray groaned—
“Oh wow,” Sawyer said. “You’re just gonna do that right here.”