Chapter 10
Thursday and Friday classes went fine. Marlo gave me a nod at Psych on Friday, but nobody else would have caught it. Not that it would matter, but still.
Chloe was going through the possibilities of our Friday and Saturday nights at the dining hall while we ate, when my phone lit up with a text from Logan.
Not to be a creeper or anything, but we’re having a party tonight if you and your girls want to come.
“There’s another party at that same house we were at last Friday,” I added to Chloe’s list of possible events.
Abby just nodded and Emily continued to eat—she probably wouldn’t join us anyway but hadn’t declared that as yet—but Chloe put down her phone and stared at me. “How did you know that?” I was about to bluff with a “heard it somewhere,” but she was staring at my phone, which was still in my hand.
“Just got word.” When she was about to ask for more specifics, I barreled on, “But the bigger question is, how do you know about all these other plans? Is there, like, a site or something?”
Distracted, she perked up. “Oh, Megan, it’s been a week. Of course I have this place totally wired already.”
“Of course you do,” Emily said. It didn’t sound like admiration in her voice, but it wasn’t snarky either. Not too much, anyway.
“Well, we’re not all gonna stay in our rooms and FaceTime with our boyfriends,” she said. Again, the tone wasn’t all teasing.
They hadn’t quite gelled, Chloe and Emily, and I was glad that the bedroom assignments had landed where they had. We’d certainly not voiced any desire to switch it up. It was working. Mostly.
“Anyway. Why would we want to go back there when there are six—no, seven—new places to try?” Chloe said. Then, looking directly at me, she added, “Unless whomever you got the word from is someone you want to meet up with?”
I wasn’t falling for Chloe’s baiting. And I wasn’t falling for Logan Fields.
Not in the mulligan year.
“Nope. All of the ones you mentioned sound good. Maybe the one the girl from your Bio class told you about?”
“That one sounds the best to me, too. Dorm party, but that’s okay. I’ve got a post I need to do in front of the library. I’ll meet you guys back at the suite and we’ll head out around nine?”
We all nodded (Emily’s not quite a full head tilt), and the other three took their trays and left while I stayed and got some ice cream.
I waited until it had mostly melted before texting Logan back.
Thanks. Looks like a different path for us tonight. Have a good time.
I returned my tray, left the dining hall, and headed back to Creyts. Nearly there, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I made myself wait until I got to my room to read it.
Got it. Have a good weekend. See you Wednesday night.
I left it on Read and jumped in the shower. He’d know I’d seen it and didn’t respond.
* * *
My first college hookup was in the books.
Not full-on sex, but some major kissing and hand stuff. Boobs were touched. Dick was stroked. Panties were wet.
But that might have been because I was thinking about Logan Fields’ forearms, dimple, and throat while I made out with…
Oh shit, what was his name?
It didn’t matter.
* * *
On Monday after class, just as I was entering Creyts, I got a text that there was a delivery for me at the front desk. When I arrived, the student manning the area brought over a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, vase and all.
“Somebody made a fast impression,” she said. I laughed, but my mind was already racing. “Roses, too, very romantic,” she added.
Who the hell would send me roses on a random Monday? It wasn’t even close to my birthday.
The girl who gave them to me was waiting to watch me open the card, but I wanted none of that, so I brought them up to our suite.
Thankfully, Chloe and Abby didn’t seem to be in their bedroom, and Emily was not in ours, so I shut the door and placed the big bouquet on my desk, gently pulling out the card and taking it with me as I climbed onto my bed.
Thinking of you today. Logan.
I read it twice, trying to make sense of it. Why was Logan Fields sending me roses? Why was he thinking of me? Pulling my phone from my backpack, I fired off a text.
They’re beautiful, but what’s the deal with the roses?
I’d barely put my phone down to curiously stare at the flowers when my phone vibrated.
They’re not, like, love roses or anything – don’t freak out. But I figured you’d had enough of lilies and other mourning flowers in the past year.
He was right. Our house had been inundated with wreaths and planters and lilies after the funeral—
Fuck. It was the fifteenth. The anniversary of my mom’s accident. The day when a woman from the admissions office had pulled me out of Intro to Philosophy because my father didn’t want me to be alone when he broke the news to me on the phone.
The day my world changed.
Thinking of you today.
I had mentioned the anniversary was coming up last week at our grief session. That it was on the fifteenth. Logan had remembered.
I had not.
OMG. I forgot it was today. I’m such a piece of shit, I typed.
No. No. It’s good that you weren’t dwelling on it. I’m sorry if I triggered anything.
Something would have at some point. At least the flowers are pretty. Thank you.
Now I feel like I overstepped.
You didn’t. Really.
Please tell me you’re not beating yourself up about this.
Oh, I would definitely be beating myself up about this. But I didn’t need to drag Logan into my guilt.
Nope. Just dealing with shock. Again, thank you. They’re lovely. And not at all griefy.
I’m about to step out of the locker room and onto the ice for practice, but I’m available around six if you want to talk. I can come to you, or meet you somewhere.
Not necessary. I’m good. Also, I’ll need to talk with my dad and brother and sister.
Right. Hope it goes well.
Thanks. Thanks again. And have a good practice. See you Wednesday.
See ya then.
I stared at the flowers for ten minutes and then called my dad.
By seven I’d recovered from FaceTiming with my family. They’d gone to the cemetery and Dad had even let Mallory and Micah skip school.
And I’d gone on like any typical Monday, totally oblivious.
I spoke with them all, then each one separately, finishing up with my dad.
I didn’t tell him I’d forgotten; the guilt and shame were too deep.
Plus, he had his hands full with M&M, as I called my younger sibs.
Mallory was just starting her freshman year of high school, and I ached that she would be doing it without our mom ready to give advice, take her shopping, be too pushy, or just be there.
Micah was in seventh grade and thankfully was caught up in middle school football, which was all he wanted to talk about.
My dad helped coach that team, so it was more time Micah got to be surrounded by people who could watch out for him.
My mom’s sister lived nearby and I knew she would be a good stand-in if a literal, physical woman’s touch was needed, but it wasn’t the same.
She’d never married or had kids, and used to travel a lot for work, but took a new position during the pandemic that she did remotely, enabling her to move to Lincoln to be closer to her sister and us. But she had her own life to live.
As did I, as she’d kept telling me over the last year.
Wanting—needing—to feel better about forgetting, and feeling a million miles away from my family, I dug in my party clothes suitcase and found my mom’s old Bribury tee shirt and put it on.
It was a looser style back then, and though she had been about the same size as me, it hung on me more than I was used to. But I liked that. Roomy and comfy was just what I needed right now.
And food.
Having talked with my family through when I’d normally grab dinner, I found I was hungry. Hangry, actually. But I’d deal with the hungry part first and then think about the angry.
Wasn’t that one of the stages of grief?
I heard voices through my closed bedroom door. Initially ready to ignore whoever had come home, I figured I’d better open the door in case it was Emily and she thought I was changing or something. As I turned the knob, I heard a male voice along with what I now knew was Chloe.
She’d brought a guy home.
I snatched my hand back, not wanting to interrupt what might be… something?
“You in there, Megan?” Chloe called. “You have a delivery out here. I intercepted it at the front desk when I overheard them asking for you.”
Another delivery? From my dad? But he hadn’t asked about it during our call. And why would Chloe bring up the delivery guy? I opened the door and had my answer.
The delivery guy was Logan.