CHAPTER SEVEN
POPPY
I would like to skip over the fact that instant regret spread over me like a wildfire immediately after I rejected a date with Parker. I watched him walk away with that bag over his shoulder and for a moment, just wanted to run toward him and yell, “I changed my mind!” But that hardly seemed appropriate with everyone around and I also didn’t want to come off as wishy washy or flippant. I had made my bed and for the moment, needed to lie in it. Especially since I was so back and forth on the idea.
It’s Monday morning, which means it’s my first day in the office at the shop. Working at the family auto shop was never a dream of mine, but there’s a certain sense of job security when your parents own the place so I’ve got that going for me.
Aiden is at home with my mom, who’s happy to watch him this summer until school starts. Having a baked in babysitter is also handy. All in all, getting to work with my family, having someone I trust watch Aiden, and spending more time with everyone is a sweet gig. I shouldn’t complain. But the idea that I failed still creeps in now and then.
Maybe that’s why I rejected the date. Feeling like a failure doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. Like what would I bring to the relationship? Oh jeez, a relationship? I’m clearly thinking way too far ahead, which is one of the side effects of being a parent. I have to think of everything in terms of what could be rather than living in the moment. It was just one date for crying out loud.
“Hey, can you look up some customer information for me?” Theo asks, popping his head into the door of the office. We only opened thirty minutes ago and his hands are already covered in grease. He’s always been a hard worker.
“Sure, what do you need?” I ask.
“I can’t remember what kind of car Susan Logan has. She doesn’t bring it in very often and I don’t know what to have prepped. She’ll be here in an hour,” he says.
“Okay, I’ll get it for you in just a second,” I say.
“You okay?” Theo asks.
“Yeah, why?”
“You seem distracted, deep in thought.” he says, folding his arms over his chest.
“How can you always tell that about me?” I ask.
“You’ve got no poker face, Pop. And I’m your big brother. I just know things,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“Parker asked me out on a date on Saturday. I don’t know if that’s weird since you guys are friends. Please don’t be mad at him,” I say.
“I’m not mad at him. I gave him my permission forever ago,” he says, shocking me.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Okay, well I wouldn’t say permission, because that makes it sound like I own you or something. But he came to me as a man and didn’t want it to disrupt our friendship, and I gave him my blessing,” he says. “Blessing is maybe a better word.”
My eyes feel like they’re about to pop out of my head. My jaw is just hanging in shock. I didn’t realize that him asking me out had been planned out. I figured it was in the moment. But to find out he’s obviously prepped to do so makes me feel even worse about rejecting him.
“So when are you guys going out?” My brother asks, a glint of excitement in his eye.
“I said no,” I say, sighing as I sit back in the office chair.
“Why?” He asks.
“I don’t know. He caught me off guard. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready. Well, sometimes I think I am and sometimes I think I’m not. It’s all very confusing. I don’t want to drag him into that. What if I say yes and then panic and back out or what if I go on the date and then panic and tell him we can’t go on anymore?” I realize I’ve rambled again, so I just go silent, hoping something I said makes sense to Theo.
“I get it,” he says. “Sort of.”
“You do?” I sit up toward him again.
“Not in the exact same way but with Ellie, I mean,” he says. “Taking the next step with her was big. Our friendship was at stake and I knew if I crossed that line, it would be impossible to go back to the way it was. It was all or nothing. I had to be sure.”
“How did you know you were sure?” I ask.
Theo runs his hand over his coveralls, smearing a little grease over his chest.
“There was just this moment when I looked at her, when I was thinking about it all. She was looking back at me and smiling. And I realized I was looking at her totally differently than before. I was looking at her like ‘wow, this could be my future.’ And in that moment, I didn’t think I could ever go back to just looking at her like a friend,” he says.
“I’m so happy for the two of you,” I say, my heart swelling for my brother.
“Thanks,” he says. “And as for your situation, I’d advise you not to overthink it. I know that’s easier said than done. But it’s just a date. No matter what happens, I know the both of you well enough to know that if it didn’t go well, you’d be okay after.”
With that, he steps back out of the office and turns toward the car he’s working on. The office sits in the back left corner of the shop with windows all the way across so I can see both him and my dad working. It’s kind of nice since offices can feel a little stuffy without windows or something to look at.
I turn back to the computer to look up what he needs and get back to the task I was working on before he walked in with all his brotherly advice. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should just go for it. I will say when he called me “mama”, I felt a little tingly. I can confirm between that and the dancing and the tight white T-shirt, he gives me the tingles. And tingles are very important. There’s no denying he’s an attractive man. His body is all filled out since high school. He’s solid, I can tell. He’s always had a beautiful smile with those dimples of his. And the scruff over his jaw ain’t bad either. Another change since high school.
The doorbell at the front rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up to see if maybe Susan is early but I find none other than Parker standing there. He’s wearing simple jeans, a black T-shirt that hugs him just as well as the white one did, and a backwards ball cap adorning his head. He’s so pretty. Where the hell did that come from?
I look back at the computer screen, pretending I didn’t see him. From the corner of my eye, I watch my brother approach him but I can’t hear the conversation they’re having. A few moments later, I feel them moving toward the office doorway.
“Hey, Pop, can you put Parker on the schedule for next week? Parker, she can take care of you, and we’ll get that all fixed up for you,” Theo says, then vanishes, leaving us alone.
“Sure, wanna have a seat?” I ask, gesturing toward the chair on the other side of the desk.
Parker sits, relaxing back into the chair, even though I don’t personally think it’s all that comfortable. I have it on my to-do list to renovate the entire office space but that will come after I sort out their poor excuse for a scheduling system. For the moment, I’m converting everything to a Google calendar.
“So, what do you need?” I ask.
“You look very pretty today,” Parker says.
I choke, my eyes fluttering as they meet his gaze. “Um, thank you.”
“You’re supposed to say I look nice, too,” he says, tapping his finger on the edge of the armrest.
“Oh,” I say, giggling. “You look nice, too.”
“Thank you,” he says. “So what can we do for you?” I ask.
“How are you today?” He asks, ignoring my question.
Call me crazy, but isn’t there something wrong with his truck? “Oh, I’m okay. Just sorting through all this. No offense, but men aren’t the most organized. At least not Jameson men, from what I can tell.”
There’s a pause. It’s like he’s waiting for something but I have no idea what.
“Are you going to ask me how I am?” He asks.
“I’m sorry,” I say, laughing. “It seems I’ve forgotten how to hold an adult conversation. How are you?” God, why am I acting like this? I know Parker, he knows me. We spoke two days ago. Why can’t I speak normally?
“I could be better. Got a chip on my shoulder these days,” he says.
“Oh no, what’s wrong?” I ask.
“Well, I fancy this woman, see? And I shot my shot, right? But she turned me down,” he says.
Wow. I walked right into that one, didn’t I? “Well, maybe it has nothing to do with you?”
Parker’s eyes darken. His smirk draws wide as his mouth slacks a bit. And then, very deliberately, his tongue runs across the edge of his upper teeth before he bites into his bottom lip. And then I see God and go to heaven.
Just kidding. Because I didn’t read the bible very carefully, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t saintly or godly. It does look a little heavenly though but I don’t think that’s the same thing.
“Um.” I clear the lust from my throat and cross my legs. “And where did you plan to take this woman you fancy?”
“Can’t say,” he says. “It’s a secret.”
There’s a thrumming in my chest that runs a little deeper every time he speaks. Or makes those sexy eyes. Or wears tight T-shirts. Or dances. Yeah, it’s confirmed. He shouldn’t speak to me, or make direct eye contact, convert to wearing potato sacks and never move his hips. Like ever again.
“Well, I should probably go,” he says, standing from the chair.
“Oh okay,” I say. “But wait, we didn’t schedule your truck.”
“Truck’s runnin’ fine,” he says, turning back toward me at the door. “You have yourself a wonderful day, mama.”
And then he winks. He. Winks. At me. With that last “mama”, I’m unwell. I’m having sexual hot flashes and maybe a heart attack.
“Wait,” I call out before I can stop myself. I run to the doorway and he turns, already a few steps away. “So do you remember that time I told you that you’d be the first to know when I was ready to date?”