CHAPTER ELEVEN
POPPY
Damn. That was a damn good kiss. I felt it in the backs of my knees. Honestly, I felt it everywhere. Parker is skilled. God, his lips are perfect—soft but firm—and he definitely knows what he’s doing.
“Did that give you tingles, too?” He whispers against my ear.
“Yes,” I say, nearly breathless. It’s the first mention of anything related to the texts we exchanged last night but it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Rather, I like it.
“Good,” he says, stepping back to put a little space between us.
But I don’t want him to go. That kiss has me wishing we were alone. Which worries me because am I ready to be with a man like that? Is it too soon? I feel like society would tell me it is. The judgy old ladies in town would not approve. Then again, I’ve always done exactly what those kinds of people expected of me. The right, proper thing. And look where that got me.
I’m standing here with this beautiful man in front of me and he makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel seen. He’s so sweet with all the kids and Aiden. He seems so centered and assured. Yet, there’s this hint of the boy I knew in high school who always had a comforting presence. He was a little awkward at times but it never bothered me. Maybe it’s just time for me to do what makes me feel good.
“Where were you ten years ago?” I ask.
Parker’s face turns a hint of sullen, his expression more serious. He lets out a long sigh, clenching his jaw.
“I was doing all the wrong things back then. Not telling you how I felt was the dumbest thing I ever did. But I can’t regret it,” he says.
“You don’t regret it?” I ask, surprised.
“Aiden is a wonderful kid. And you’re a beautiful mom. And if I had told you… if things had been different, well, he might not be here. And that’s just not right,” he says.
My heart clenches in my chest, his words hitting me somewhere deep and unexpected. That might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. It’s certainly the most thoughtful. It’s so… selfless.
“I could be a greedy man. I could say I wish you’d been mine all along. And maybe on some level I feel that way, but I can’t bring myself believe that,” he says.
“You’re right,” I say. “I can’t imagine a life where I don’t have Aiden. I would be a completely different person.” I don’t know who I would be and I don’t want to know. Aiden is my whole reason for being. It doesn’t matter how dark it gets, he’s always the light. It doesn’t matter how hard life gets, he’s always going to be worth it.
“So I don’t want to dwell on the past or what could have been,” he says. “It won’t ever change anything. But, I’m very interested in what’s happening now and what could happen moving forward.”
I swallow a lump in my throat, finding myself very thirsty all of a sudden. No one has ever talked to me this way and I find the entire thing so refreshing. “I’d like that.”
Parker reaches out, lacing his fingers in mine as a smile grows across his lips. It reaches his eyes, wiping the gloom from his face.
“Good,” he says. “Now let me kiss you at the top of the ferris wheel.”
He tugs me toward him, wrapping his arm around my waist as he guides us toward the ride. The sun is down, the last sliver of light fading fast. All the stars are beginning to appear and I find myself perfectly content as we climb into the seat and lower the bar over our laps.
I lean into him as he wraps his left arm around me. He reaches his right over to grasp just above my knee. I place me hand over his, content under his touch.
The ride starts up as we shift forward and stop again to let more people on. This stopping only last a few more minutes and then we’re making it around. We pass over the very top once but as we come back around, the ride seems to slow just a bit. Our seat hovers longer in the top section as Parker turns to me.
He takes his hand from my thigh, moving it up to tilt my chin to him. I close my eyes and welcome his kiss. This one is different. His mouth devours mine, lips smashing hungrily against me. He coaxes my mouth open with his tongue, feverishly lapping like we’re two kids breaking curfew for a few more minutes of this.
His hand reaches the back of my neck, tugging my ponytail downward as his mouth moves to my jaw and then my neck. His hot breath rolls over my skin, causing goosebumps all over my body.
And just like that, he pulls back, straightening himself as he runs his thumb over his mouth. Maybe there were parts of me laying dormant after the divorce. Maybe I had accepted that I might never feel vibrant again.
But that’s certainly not true anymore. I’m wide awake now. And it’s Parker’s doing.
The ride comes to a stop and it takes me a full five seconds after the bar is lifted to exit the seat. I nearly forget where I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t know what time it is or how I’m supposed to act normal after that.
“This place will be closing soon,” he says. “Is there anything else you want to do before I take you home?”
I think about it for a moment as we walk, pink teddy bear clutched to my chest. I’ve always done what’s expected of me. My thoughts from earlier echo in my mind. Maybe it’s time to do what makes me feel good.
“I don’t want to go home,” I say firmly.
“No?” He asks.
“Take me somewhere and kiss me like that again.”