ALEX #7
He follows right behind me, step for step, but he stays silent, which somehow makes it even worse.
I finally start to jog, but who am I kidding, there’s no way I can outrun an alpha who’s more than a foot taller than me.
"Leave me alone, I need to go home!" I shout over my shoulder.
"I don’t get why you’re being so wild, I just want to talk, I think you’re really cute… seriously a gorgeous omega, people don’t notice because of all that hair but—"
"But I’m not interested! Do you not understand that?" I snap, and I finally stop, which turns out to be the worst possible place because there’s no one around, just these paths surrounded by trees.
I’m furious with myself because for all my caution, I’m making stupid mistakes one after another, and I really need a better strategy for moving around campus.
I should probably start with a petition to the dean asking him to remove every single bush on campus grounds, and I almost laugh at how ridiculous that thought sounds.
"What’s the deal, Alex, I see you in class, you’re always alone or with that Dereck guy, is he your boyfriend or what?"
"No," I yell, and immediately bite my tongue because maybe that would’ve been a way to fend off his advances.
"I don’t want a boyfriend, I’m not interested in that."
I start to turn away, but Oswald grabs my hand, maybe it’s innocent, maybe he just wants to talk, but again that painful, nervous attack hits me from the touch of an unfamiliar alpha, and it sends this awful, stinging current through my skin.
I let out a desperate yell and yank myself backward so hard that I actually break free, but I fall to the ground in the process.
Oswald bends over me right away, but in my panic I kick him in the knee.
"What the hell is wrong with you, I was just trying to help you up!" Oswald growls.
At that moment I hear footsteps approaching in our direction.
I turn and see him again.
It’s the masked man…
Wow.
I blink in disbelief.
My heartbeat spikes, who the hell is he, some kind of vigilante wandering the paths at night?
And what does he want from me, is he… following me? Just me?
The masked man doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t attack Oswald, he just stops near us and turns his head toward him as if telling him to back off.
"And who the hell are you," Oswald growls, straightening back up.
In what is probably a stupid impulse, reacting to the way the masked man stops in front of him, Oswald shoves him lightly in the chest, but that’s his mistake…
the masked man doesn’t hold back, he pushes him back much harder, and the result for Oswald is disastrous because he lands on his ass on the ground with a painful thump.
"Fuck! What the hell is going on, I didn’t do anything, I was trying to help him stand up, what’s wrong with all of you?!" Oswald fumes.
"It’s fine," I call to the mysterious stalker, "he didn’t do anything, I just want him to leave me alone."
Oswald looks at me, frowning.
"You know him? Is this some kind of bodyguard of yours? I didn’t do shit, I just wanted to talk to you for a minute because you always look so lonely…"
"Okay, fine, I accept that explanation, I just need to go home, so leave me alone, all right?"
Muttering curses under his breath, he gets back on his feet and walks down the path toward Dorm G, still glancing back with this gloomy expression.
Now, holding my breath, I look at the stalker, and my heart is pounding so hard he must hear it.
"Thanks, but this time he really just wanted to talk," I mumble, feeling stupid. "Probably."
The man says nothing. He’s absolutely motionless, like a boulder, he just looks at me or at least I assume so since his head is tilted in my direction.
Of course I hear his heartbeat, it’s beating… pretty fast.
Strangely fast, since he didn’t have any real confrontation, why would he be so… excited?
"But since you’re here maybe you could walk me through these damn bushes," I blurt out, not believing what I’m saying.
Asking a stalker to stalk me a bit more.
He doesn’t respond, so I start walking slowly, and he actually begins to follow me at a certain distance.
Not too close, not close enough for us to talk, but not far enough for me to forget he’s there.
So we walk through the park paths like that until we reach the edge of the trees, where the lawn and the campus parking lot begin.
I turn toward him and mumble, "Thanks."
He stops, we stand there for a moment looking at each other, well, I look at the spot on his mask where his eyes must be, and then he steps back and disappears into the shadows of the trees.
With my lips tight, my fists clenched, and everything inside me drawn into a knot, I cross the last stretch toward home, and deep down… I’m cursing just as much as Oswald was.
Why didn’t I ask him something?
It was the perfect chance. We walked side by side for a moment. I could’ve stopped and inquired, Who are you, what the hell are you doing here, and why do you keep showing up in places where I am? Are you stalking me?
But I didn’t, I wasted another opportunity. Who knows, if I stay careful and avoid dark paths, maybe I’ll never see him again.
But why the hell do I feel disappointed? He’s a stranger. A weird guy. With a fast-pacing heart.
◆◆◆
Indeed, for the next few months I make a huge effort to avoid walking through the park after dark, but not for any reason related to the stalker. It’s only because I don’t want to end up in any more nerve-wracking situations, duh!
It all requires these elaborate strategies of joining groups of students, making sure I’m never anywhere alone, and of course, steering clear of Oswald.
Oswald actually attends a few of my classes, and earlier I never paid attention to him because I generally don’t pay attention to people unless I’m interested in them, but now he keeps staring at me with this strange intensity, even though he still keeps his distance.
A couple of times, I also run into Zion and Kaen on campus. They’re in a different department than me, but sometimes I see them in the cafeteria.
Once they even sit with me and of course the topic of Oswald comes up.
"We heard you treated poor Oswald terribly," Kaen grins. "The guy was really crushed after you sicced some weird dude on him. Who was that?"
"I have no idea, some guy who was probably coming back from a masquerade party, he thought Oswald was about to attack me," I downplay it, pretending nothing is going on, saying it all as casually as possible.
Thankfully they’re too wrapped up in themselves to think much about Oswald. The topic isn’t continued, and I do everything I can to avoid both of them and Oswald himself, who keeps giving me dark looks whenever I accidentally end up in his line of sight.
So, my extreme caution means I don’t run into the stalker anymore. The only place I see him now is in my own… imagination.
Feeling disgusting and miserable, I fantasize that in exchange for his protection, I offer him my hole completely willingly, right there on those garden paths.
But I can’t imagine it being anyone other than Bay; I simply can’t get aroused by it.
So I picture it’s indeed Bay underneath it, taking on this protective role, wanting to spare me an open contact with him, not to ignite something painful and impossible between us.
But in fantasies, it works. I insert Bay into the stalker persona and play with that in my head.
It’s messed up, but I’m too deeply stuck in depression to think clearly, and the constant stress and exhaustion make my morality blurry like fog.
Why the hell didn’t I stop and talk to him?
Demand answers?
But it’s too late for that now, and I don’t intend to give him any chance to act by wandering around the campus park in the dark. I’m not that desperate.
Meanwhile, as for Jared, thanks to my enormous effort and hiring a few extra tutors, he finally manages to finish high school.
I’m proud of myself that at least I fulfilled that kind of responsibility toward him, because that’s exactly how I saw it, that since I took him under my roof I was obligated to act as his guardian, even if he clearly didn’t see it that way.
Four days after Jared picks up his diploma, he comes to me and informs me he’s moving out.
Our one honest conversation didn’t change much. Yes, it made him less rude and rebellious, but more closed off and reluctant to engage with me.
It didn’t heal anything for real.
I have no argument left to keep him, even though I know that wherever he’s going, it definitely won’t be the smartest path.
I conclude that from the kind of people who sometimes drive him home and the state he is in when he gets out of the car, tipsy and reeking. I’m absolutely certain that whatever he’s planning to do, it won’t be sweet, safe, or pleasant work.
On his Instagram, which grows quickly, he posts pictures from shoots that someone does for him, though I have no idea who. They’re not nude fortunately, though definitely provocative enough that his follower count skyrockets.
Paradoxically, that actually makes me happier, because the more public Jared becomes, the safer he theoretically might be, and whoever would want to hurt him would have to take into account that he isn’t completely anonymous online.
Even though I try to reach out to him over the next few months following his departure, texting him or sending DMs, he replies very rarely. And when he does, the answers are evasive.
In the meantime, I have a lot on my plate, and my chances of staying at the college start to improve.
I successfully co-write several research papers with professors, and my contributions become increasingly significant.
They specialize in mathematical analysis, and soon I also get a teaching assistant position, which boosts my standing at the university and improves my chances of securing a post after graduation.
Of course, throughout this time I don’t stop participating in chess tournaments. At one of them, I get a chance to see Axel Lowen again.