ALEX #10
"You’re really pretty, you know? Such sweet lips… They always tell betas never to date someone who used to fuck an alpha, because he’ll laugh at your dick, but I think since you’re so tiny maybe you look at it differently? Maybe you would even prefer it."
I tear my hand out of his grip, growling with a low omega AO warning sound, but his stupid beta ears probably don’t even recognize it.
"Get the fuck out right now! Sober up, and if you don’t sober up, get out of my house!" Now I’m beyond pissed.
Something in my expression must get through to him, because he sits up and tries to smile, trying to defuse the situation with some innocent face and goofy hand gestures, but it does nothing to cool my rage, I’m literally burning.
"Gosh, Alex! What’s gotten into you? We’re both single, I don’t get why we can’t even talk about sex. I really like you, you know…"
"Get out."
Silence. His drunken, unfocused eyes travel over my face.
"You can’t stay a monk, Alex. You have the right to live, to move on. There’s no going back to Bay, you get that?"
My hands tremble. Something rises in me, but it isn’t anger this time.
"It’s been well over three years of mourning that relationship. You should start living, dating, hooking up. You’re still stuck in grief over losing him and he moved on."
"How do you know?!"
"You know I sometimes play with them. When they’ve got bigger events, they need a second bassist. You remember Cosmo?
He used to be the lead vocalist in Franklin High before Bay edged him out.
He’s in the backing vocals now, sings with Bay.
I saw him during breaks, clinging to Bay, all over him.
I’m sure there’s something going on, Bay really moved on. Understand?"
I feel like the ground drops out from under me. I’m shaking like I’ve got a fever.
"No. I don’t believe it…"
Dereck’s face looks strange, tense. Is he lying? His heart is racing, that’s a classic telltale sign.
His mouth is tight.
"You don’t have to believe me, I know what I saw," he says with a pout. "I saw them backstage. Cosmo was practically hanging off Bay, those puppy eyes and all that… You think he’s living in celibacy? He’s surrounded by horny fans!"
Yes, I remember Cosmo from high school perfectly. Cute guy, blond, good voice, kind of similar to me in the face. Is it even possible?
I squeeze my eyes shut. Panic… fear, chills.
"Get out, Dereck."
I’m not discussing Bay with him, and I sure as hell won’t talk about my feelings, because he’d just laugh, call them irrational, and maybe they are. Jealousy makes no sense when we haven’t been together in years.
"He won’t be yours! Bay’s not coming back! We could fuck, you and me, or I could just blow you, I would even settle for that…"
"Shut up!"
"You can also fuck me, I’m vers—"
"You’re not my type!"
I clench my fists. He shakes his head slowly, looking at me with a hint of sadness, as if I were a lost cause.
Maybe Dereck is right. I should move on. Though surely not with him.
But how to do it? How, when I still love Bay?
Dereck tilts his head. "Who is your type, Alex? Does he have to be a red-haired alpha built like a damn tower?"
"Get the fuck out!"
Finally, he gets up, but as he heads to the door, he mutters, "I really do like you. Shame." His tone is almost conciliatory.
I slam the door behind him with a loud, meaningful bang. Then I collapse onto the bed, flustered. Something hard presses into my side. I lift it up. It is Bay’s diary, still lying here, buried in the blankets. It is open to the entry about the first day after he asked me to be his boyfriend.
"When we got out of the car, I saw Dad watching us, following us with his radiant eyes. And for the first time, I reached for Alex’s hand.
Mine was sweaty. I felt strange. We walked up to the stairs and immediately saw a group of kids from choir practice.
Every single one of them stared at us. Alex was blushing, but he lifted his head proudly, his eyes shining with happiness, and my heart nearly took flight.
Alex wasn’t ashamed of me. I wasn’t worthless trash to him.
He walked down the hallway with his chin raised, his thin fingers tightly laced with mine.
And again, something inside me was recovered.
Something grew back, like a cut branch that blooms again when watered.
Watered by Alex. I love him. I could tattoo it on my forehead! "
Reading line by line, I die a little inside. I lost that perfect love, and what do I have instead? A drunk beta loser trying to grope me without my consent.
I press my hands to my face, hating my life.
◆◆◆
The next morning, at dawn, I head to the building where the campus security officers have their headquarters. I leave before Dereck wakes up, intentionally.
I’m unlucky because the head officer is out, and the two employees sitting there just shrug and tell me to come back when he returns.
Sadly, my classes are about to start, so I eventually have to leave. I can’t wait around, and I’m annoyed as hell.
The whole day is miserable. My head is constantly on a swivel, scanning for unfamiliar faces anywhere near me.
During lunch I spot Kaen and Zion in the cafeteria.
I’m tempted to walk over and ask for details, because I know they were loosely friendly with Vin and Rob, so they might have some fresh news about the brothers.
But I hold myself back, because I don’t want to stir up any noise about the whole situation.
After lunch, when I’m very carefully trying to avoid bumping into Dereck, I go back to security again, but the head officer still isn’t there. He’s dealing with something with the provost, and his employees dismiss me again, too busy watching a game on one of the monitors to care.
That’s when I realize that the only person standing between me and walking alone through the campus park woods is… Dereck.
Fuck!
In my last lecture I don’t see Kaleb. Maybe that’s good, or maybe it’s bad, because I have no idea what he’s planning.
When the lecture ends, Dereck suddenly appears outside the classroom.
I flinch when I see him. He looks awkward and embarrassed, clearly sober now. Shame had to hit him hard, as he immediately starts apologizing, nearly folding in half.
"Alex, I feel so stupid about what happened, drinking never does me any good, I really…"
"I don’t want to talk about it, Dereck," I cut him off, glancing around nervously. "There’s nothing to talk about. There’s nothing between us and there never can be."
His face goes a shade paler. He tightens his mouth.
"You really mean that?"
"Yes!"
"But you’ve been with others beyond Bay, right? So it’s not like you can’t move on…"
"I’ve never been with anyone else! And I’m not planning on doing so for now."
He narrows his eyes. "You are lying."
"What?!"
"I saw your neck yesterday when you rolled off the bed. You have a mark on your neck gland. These marks fade in two years. So it can’t be Bay’s."
I freeze for a moment, staring at him like an idiot with my mouth hanging open.
I know very well that I still have Bay’s mark on my neck, I just never thought about it before, but Dereck actually makes a good point.
That kind of mating mark should have faded already.
I probably need to look into it. But it definitely isn’t Dereck’s business.
So I snap at him, "It’s from Bay, it stayed longer by some kind of miracle. And by the way, I don’t owe you any explanations." And I head out with the flow of students.
As I approach the exit, my entire body tenses up.
Dereck follows me and suddenly says, "I just walked through the park, didn’t see anyone, so I think it’s clear," as he notices my tense expression and watches me nervously scanning the people near the exit.
"Maybe you’re stressing out for no reason?" he mutters with a shrug.
"Those idiots wouldn’t show up here unless they were planning something. I’m sure of that," I say sharply.
We step outside and students scatter in all directions.
"Come on, let’s follow that group," Dereck suggests. "We’ll take the long way, but it’s safer."
It sounds reasonable, so I agree. "Sure."
The path chosen by that group of students leads through an even longer stretch of woods, but walking behind them feels safer, so I decide we should follow.
A moment later I realize we just made a huge mistake.
The students stop by a cluster of benches hidden in a wooded nook and sit down, pulling out what I’m almost certain is weed. Great.
Now instead of three hundred feet through the woods, Dereck and I have six hundred fifty feet or more.
I curse under my breath, and Dereck glances at me with a sigh.
"Sorry, I had no idea those idiots were going to smoke, but honestly it makes sense. No one usually walks through these parts of the groves, so they can do all the… illegal stuff students like to do," he says carelessly, as if none of this concerns him at all. And of course it doesn’t. He wasn’t the one the Hansons were watching.
We walk away from the group.
The grove is dark and quiet, lit only by a few scattered lamps. We’ve covered about seventy percent of the distance, and I’m finally starting to calm down a bit, thinking maybe nothing will happen, maybe I really am being paranoid.
Only one last patch of trees is left ahead of us when it happens.
Two dark shapes emerge from a dense thicket.
One of them lunges at Dereck and punches him square in the face so fast that Dereck drops unconscious to the ground. It takes a second, not even enough time for me to scream. The air gets knocked out of my lungs as I stumble back in shock.
"You think a beta guard is the best choice for you, sweetheart?" one of them says, pulling the cloth away from his face. I recognize Vin.
I don’t respond, because I know perfectly well that anything I say will only make it worse.
I try to throw myself backward, releasing a terrified scream that gets muffled by Rob’s hand over my mouth.