ALEX
The weekend passes in a strange haze.
I drift through the once again empty house from window to window, staring outside, my thoughts frayed with absolutely no coherence leading toward any kind of conclusion.
Sometimes I mutter things out loud.
My mind gets sliced apart by random thoughts about what my stalker did with the Hansons’ bodies, whether he took them to the police or did something completely different and much darker.
Then I think about the fact that now, without Dereck, I’ll have to walk home alone again in the evenings, and I wonder whether there are still people out there who pose a threat to me or if they’ve been scared off or even eliminated.
Then I think about how my hole is still a little wet and I start wondering whether my heat, my first heat, might actually be approaching.
Yeah, that scary thought.
Then in all that chaos a thought about Jared strikes from nowhere, how I haven’t had any contact with him for two months and how nothing new has appeared on his Instagram, which is scary.
So many things, so many questions and so many answers I desperately need, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with any of it.
Pushing myself out of the mental swirl, I remember that the stalker typed something into my phone.
I open my contacts, and at the very top there’s an entry with no name, just a number copied into both the name field and the phone field.
I stare at the row of digits, and my heart speeds up.
Maybe I should text him, ask what he did with the Hansons, but for some reason I feel like this is a number I should only use in a truly desperate situation. Besides, it could be evidence for the police, and it’s better not to leave traces like that.
Monday brings an escalation of these strange symptoms, a constant feeling of cramps in my hole, my tunnel pulsing, slick dripping off it, and I’m low-key aroused all the time, though the arousal isn’t shaped by anything specific, it’s just this undefined cloud swelling through every cell of my body like a pink haze.
But at the same time I’m generating this strange syndrome of denial, a genuine self-delusion, acting as if nothing is about to happen, as if it’s all just a dream.
I think I really am losing touch with reality.
Especially because this could be a serious problem, and it’s probably also what’s behind what I did on the lawn with my dark protector.
Pre-heat can be full of hormonal spikes and surges of arousal, which would explain my insanity.
In a brief surge of common sense or you could call it a momentary flash of sanity, I order a set of dildos online, including ones with an expandable knot.
But other than that I drift through the entire day from lecture to lecture, completely ignored by Dereck, and the funny thing is that I don’t even blame him for it. I can’t make sense of any of this myself so why would I expect someone else to make sense of it for me.
Maybe I could tell him it’s probably the beginning of a heat, but what for? I imagine that if I were into some guy and that guy started fucking with a random stranger in a park right in front of me, what would I think? Let’s be serious, I can’t hold it against Dereck.
I’m lost in a fog, confused and dazed, with no real purpose and no direction.
So I simply accept that Dereck has pulled away from me for good.
On Tuesday things get more and more dangerous, because during the first lecture I notice the looks from two alphas who attend it, one of them Tobias, Oswald’s friend.
Their looks are strange, uncertain, as if they weren’t sure whether they were imagining the scent they were picking up from me, a scent that must be slowly intensifying.
During lunch, unfortunately for me, Oswald himself notices me, and when he passes by, his face changes, he crinkles his nose slightly, then turns around and walks straight toward me and sits down at my table without a hint of hesitancy.
"Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to be on campus right now?"
"What are you talking about?" I snap, pretending to be clueless.
"Do you not see what’s happening?" He gestures around. "You’re lucky that there are barely any alphas in your department, but they exist on this campus, and if you keep wandering around the cafeteria and the hallways, someone is going to approach you."
"What the hell is this all about?" I insist stubbornly.
"Your scent changed. In my opinion you’ll enter heat in a day or maybe even a few hours."
"And how do you know that!"
"I’m an alpha…" he says, almost irritated, as if I were blind or stupid.
I just hiss under my breath and look away.
"Most omega students here already have gone through their first heat. It’s normal for someone to start giving off the pheromones that signal a rising heat. It’s an almost daily occurrence here, but people deal with it discreetly; nobody parades around with an active heat scent."
He’s right, most of my peers have already gone through this, I just never paid attention to it, because as an omega the scent of another omega’s starting heat doesn’t stir anything in me, so I simply ignored it.
"Leave me alone, it’s a private matter," I mutter as I lean lower over my bowl of broccoli soup and slurp it ostentatiously.
"For now but it will quickly progress. I’m just telling you that you should go home and deal with it however you want, but staying on campus isn’t safe, and on top of that it’s against the college rules, which clearly state that omegas entering heat can’t cause public disruption.
In other words, the only option is isolation. "
Oswald tilts his head slightly, watching me expectantly.
He’s right, that rule exists to protect omegas, to keep them safe from a potential group assault, but I only answer with a proud lift of my chin.
"It’s none of your business, you don’t need to worry about me."
Oswald leans a little closer, his pale eyes focusing on my face.
He is absolutely not my type, so doughy-looking, the complete opposite of what I find attractive.
Instead of beautiful dark green eyes he has pale blue ones, his nose slightly upturned and probably once broken, and his face carries the marks of past acne that healed into small scars.
On top of that he has this idiotic style of wearing brown checkered shirts and wide corduroy pants, nothing about that vibe appeals to me.
I finish eating and stand up.
"I have to go, I still have two more lectures."
"If you want, I’ll walk you home after them, you really shouldn’t be spreading your heat pheromones everywhere."
I don’t respond and walk away in lofty silence.
But I quickly start regretting pushing him away, because in the next lecture there are four alphas from another department, and for the entire duration they keep glancing in my direction, and when the lecture ends I see one of them stand up and head toward me, so I bolt from the room and hide in the bathroom.
Unfortunately, I still have one more lecture, and I know there will be several alphas there too, thankfully different from those I just ran away from.
When I enter the lecture room, I see with disappointment that the alphas are sitting in different spots, which means there’s no real place where I can be far from them.
I’m within the reach of someone’s sense of smell no matter where I sit.
Not that it makes any difference, alphas have an incredible sense of scent and can detect a heat smell from over a thousand feet away in open space; it’s an animal trait of AOs.
Thankfully the lecturer is a beta, so he remains blissfully unaware of what’s happening, while my nerves are stretched tight as strings, because all the alphas keep turning their heads toward me.
They have located me flawlessly even though there are nearly seventy other students in the room, damn those alpha noses.
The omegas can smell me too, but they’re giving me annoyed and irritated looks, because no one likes a distraction during class.
I leave the lecture hall five minutes before the end of class to avoid contact with those alphas, but an unpleasant surprise waits for me outside. Oswald is sitting on the windowsill and waiting for me. The bastard.
"For Fate’s sake leave me alone," I spit with frustration, feeling waves of heat roll through me, coming not only from anger.
I practically break into a run down the hallway and then down the stairs, and thankfully this college building is almost right next to the parking lot so I don’t have to cut through the park to get home.
Running as fast as I can, I cross the lot diagonally and race toward my street, watching carefully not to end up in the sight of any alpha.
Finally I reach my house, breathless and shaking. I quickly type the code into the gate and then into the door and lock myself inside.
Shortly after moving in, I planted a row of arborvitae that now grows thickly along the fence, so I feel relatively safe from the neighbors’ eyes.
Still, I pull the shutters down, open the package of dildos that arrived in the morning, and hurry to the bathroom.
I pick a medium-sized dildo to warm myself up gradually, press it to the floor with the suction cup, pull my pants down and lower myself onto the toy, feeling a wave of blissful relief.
A moment later I am already bouncing on it, moving up and down and driving it deep inside me, riding it with fast, greedy motions while my painfully hard cock releases small bursts of cum at steady intervals.
After about half an hour of chasing orgasm after orgasm, the surge finally starts to ease, yet I know it is only a preview of the heat, a pale early warning, and that much more is waiting for me once the heat fully unfolds.
The awareness that I will have to go through this without a partner weighs on me, but at the same time I feel something close to joy, because I absolutely do not want anyone here with me except Bay.
He is the one who should be with me for this first experience, something so important for every omega.