Untitled Scene #5
A sob escapes my chest as I ride the elevator down. Some people riding with me glance at me with amusement.
Why does Fate hate me so much? Why is my life one long chain of failures, mistakes, and miserable events?
I do not understand it.
What did I do to deserve this?
◆◆◆
I return home feeling awful, sick to my stomach, as if something hollow is swallowing me from the inside, and my life has no purpose, only a miserable day-to-day existence without any direction.
Is Bay right?
Should I try to find someone I might be able to like, maybe even love one day?
I lie down on my bed, curl up, close my eyes, and drift into dreams.
I remember a certain morning from when I was already living in Bay’s mobile house. I woke up and found him in the kitchen, trying to make breakfast for me. He wasn’t very good at it, but he was so determined. Not wanting to ruin the surprise, I slipped back into bed and pretended to be asleep.
After a while he came into the room and set the tray down beside me, but he didn’t wake me. The room went quiet and I had no idea what he was doing. I kept my breathing steady so he’d think I was still asleep, even though I was dying to know what Bay was up to.
Then I heard something soft. A whisper. It took me a second to understand it was a prayer. He never seemed particularly religious, but there he was, murmuring under his breath.
"Dear Fate, please always watch over Alex. Please help me become the person he needs. Please show me how to be the best partner I can be for him. Protect him and give him health and happiness…"
I lay there stunned and deeply moved, and I couldn’t pretend anymore. I opened my eyes and saw him kneeling next to the bed with his eyes closed and his hands clasped together. My heart squeezed painfully at the sight, and my eyes went wet.
I remember the way his face looked when he realized I was awake. His cheeks flushed, a little embarrassed, that apologetic look he got when he felt he’d let himself be too vulnerable and I had seen it…
The memory hits me now so hard my breath slips in my chest and I have to reach for my inhaler again, my eyes burning.
My sweet, good boy… In the end, it was all for nothing. We shared such a beautiful love, but it’s gone now.
"I lost you, Bay… I failed us. And Fate has turned their back on us too. The prayer didn’t work. This fucker doesn’t care about us…"
The emotions get too heavy, and I fall straight into nothingness.
◆◆◆
The next morning I am supposed to go to work again, so I wake up, get dressed on autopilot, eat something without thinking, and head to the campus.
The same, persistent emptiness keeps echoing in my head, and I walk into the faculty room where the young assistants usually hang out, but at this hour no one is there because their classes start later; I sit alone, staring out the window.
And that thought comes back again, whispering that I should step out of this whole equation called life, that I should fade from it and finally be free of this wretched existence.
I slowly walk up to the window and look down, but it is too low; if I jumped from here I would probably only break my legs and I do not need that.
But maybe the main building would work. It has four floors, that should be enough.
Beep, beep, beep.
My phone starts buzzing.
I glance at the screen. An unknown number.
I hesitate, because I often get spam calls offering me refrigerators and laptops if only I do this or that, but since I am bored anyway while planning how to end my life, I lift the phone to my ear.
"Hello."
"Mr. Strada?"
My whole body jolts violently.
I recognize Blue Lowen’s voice.
"Yes, that’s me. Funny that you’re calling, you could say just in time, I was actually heading to the fourth floor to end it all."
Silence falls on the line; my confession is definitely something that could be treated as TMI.
"I thought something might interest you," Blue Lowen says, ignoring my near-suicidal admission completely.
"You see, I am a scientist, and what has always been my greatest strength is this relentless curiosity that made me follow things other people dismiss."
I swallow hard, because I think I know where this is going, and my heart speeds up.
"So I checked your blood sample against my own."
"And?" I force out through a tight throat.
"It is a match."
Silence settles in.
Finally, with a trembling voice, I ask,
"So my dad didn’t lie…"
"He didn’t. The problem is that I cannot tell you who your father is without actual blood samples from my brothers or my father. The genetic compatibility between us is twenty-five percent, which means you could be either my nephew or my half brother."
I clear my throat loudly because it feels dry and raw. Unbelievable.
"I don’t know what to say. On one hand I’m glad, but on the other…
what does it change for me? If you think I’m one of those people who come to your family to beg for money, you’re wrong.
I used that as an argument only because I hoped you would show me a little mercy and try to compare my genetic code with Bay’s. I don’t expect anything more."
"You are not interested in finding out who he actually is?"
"From what my dad told me, that person has a family and children. I don’t want to break up that family, I don’t want to be the reason for any division or tragedy.
I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t want him to…
hug me at least once, because I have no one in my life, I am completely alone, but I don’t want my selfishness to hurt other people. "
There is a long silence on the phone, and then Blue Lowen says,
"For now, please give up on the idea of ending your stay on this planet. I will contact you in a few days."
And he suddenly hangs up.
I bend forward, pressing my forehead to the glass and my elbows to the windowsill.
Wow. Just wow.
At least that. At least I know my dad didn’t lie. My father is out there somewhere, a real living person so closely related to me.
Somehow that helps me get through another day and then another, even though I have no idea when Blue will call or what he intends to tell me.
The days pass, each one like the last, lectures, studying, and my usual chess games, and finally, about ten days later, I receive another call.
This time it is some guy who introduces himself as Mr. Blue’s secretary and invites me to an appointment in his office six days from now. I am not sure what it could be about.
In the meantime something unexpected happens; I usually do not read news related to work, but while logging into various services little blocks with daily updates sometimes show up.
One of them flashes with Blue Lowen’s name, and of course I immediately stop to look.
I click on the article and to my astonishment discover a press announcement stating that the supervisory board of Malden Pharmaceuticals has chosen a new CEO!
And it is none other than Blue Lowen.
My jaw drops. The announcement says that the company’s owner, the original founder, now over ninety years old, died a few days ago without leaving any heir or successor for the company.
Lowen was chosen not only because his family holds significant shares in Malden Pharmaceuticals, but also because his achievements as a scientist with groundbreaking discoveries in tissue regeneration make him an excellent candidate.
Wow, so now I am not going to meet just the head of the genetics department but the CEO himself.
My excitement rises, because it means he has even more power to start a new research project, which increases my chances too. The day before the meeting I even have to take calming medication because the anxiety will not let me sleep.
The next day I show up an hour early and wait nervously in the lobby.
Eventually Mr. Lowen’s secretary appears and leads me with a kind smile, but this time to a completely different place, not to the office where I saw Blue before. Of course, he has been promoted.
We take the elevator to the top floor.
Well, CEOs do not sit in little side offices, so I am not surprised.
The room I am led into is enormous, almost absurdly so, because Blue Lowen is so tiny.
It is a typical modern office, with massive leather furniture, elegant cabinets, glossy surfaces, sharp contrasts of white, black and gray, and a huge panoramic window because what else would there be.
I walk into the office and my eyes lock onto Blue who sits behind this enormous desk, even bigger than the one he had before, almost disappearing behind that vast black polished surface.
"Good morning," I blurt out, but stop abruptly when I realize Blue is not alone.
There is another man standing by the window.
I do not recognize him from behind, but then he turns slowly, and the light coming from outside catches the beet-red tone in his hair.
For a moment I just stare at him, unable to process the facts. Well, Blue invited someone here…
This cannot be a coincidence, it cannot be some random person, and I wonder if it is possible, truly possible, that this is indeed my father.
But is too much, my breath starts to falter, a wheeze tears out of my lungs and I fumble at my pockets, but I must have put the inhaler in the other one, my vision spins and I collapse to the floor, losing consciousness.
When I open my eyes I am lying on a leather couch in Blue Lowen’s office.
A face leans over me, the face of a man I have never seen in person.
It is a very youthful face, he actually looks like someone my age, delicate and handsome, the face of an omega I know from the Lowen family’s press photos.
This is Sebastien Lowen himself, co-owner of Omega Red Line Agency.
His young appearance does not surprise me, because it is caused by the fact that Sebastien met his TM, the same phenomenon I saw with Bay’s parents.
His face resembles mine, although amusingly not as strongly as Blue’s does, and I guess I must be one of those children who take after their uncles, it happens sometimes.