Chapter Ten
November 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England
Molly raised her glass in the air. She’d only been home a few minutes before Saskia had pounced on her to share her good news. Saskia had poured them both glasses of Champagne, and turned the radio up loudly in the kitchen, where they were now both dancing around excitedly.
‘You got the job!’ Molly shrieked at the top of her voice.
‘I got the job!’ Saskia turned the radio up. ‘I’ve got my first role in the West End! I love doing pantomimes.’
‘Think about how many people will see you. Hundreds, maybe thousands.’ Molly’s eyes widened. ‘I can’t wait to see you on the stage again.’
Saskia grinned. ‘I can’t wait to be up there.’ She took a swig of Champagne. ‘How was your weekend with the lovely Mark?’
‘It was good.’ Molly nodded enthusiastically. ‘We saw his family; he took me to the pirate exhibition at the maritime museum.’
‘Then he told you he’s going away again and he’ll see you next week.’ Saskia rolled her eyes.
Molly laughed. ‘Saskia, it’s his job.’
Saskia narrowed her eyes. ‘There”s something else. What aren”t you telling me?’
Molly sighed and put her glass on the worktop. ‘Every relationship is complicated, right? It’s good and bad. It”s like he just doesn”t get how traumatic this was for me. He thinks I can just forget about it like that.’ She snapped her fingers.
‘He doesn”t get it Molly. He”s never got it.’ Saskia put her glass down a little too hard on the worktop and put her hands on her hips. ‘I don’t know if I want to leave you right now, I don’t know if he’ll be there for you if you need him.’
‘You need to do this, Saskia,’ Molly said. ‘You can’t come back here every night, and living with the girls from the cast makes sense. I’ll be just fine.’ She sloshed more Champagne into Saskia’s glass, then topped up her own.
‘You’re right. It’s just going to be weird not seeing you every day.’ Saskia took a swig of her Champagne.
‘I know,’ Molly said. ‘What did Scott say? I mean, you guys have only just got together.’
A smile spread across Saskia’s face. ‘He’s just as excited as you are. Even though it means me moving away and not being able to see him as much, he’s still happy for me.’
‘I’ve never seen you click with someone so quickly.’ Molly smiled.
‘Oh we connected.’ Saskia waggled her eyebrows. ‘In all kinds of ways. He’s so like me. Chaotic, unpredictable and up for anything.’
‘I don’t want gory details,’ Molly said firmly. Saskia’s sex life had always been wilder than hers. ‘Chris told me you stayed over at their flat.’
‘Yeah, I like Chris,’ Saskia said as she sipped her wine. ‘He’s a gentleman.’ She raised her eyebrow at Molly.
‘Yeah, I get your not-so-subtle hint, but we’re just friends.’ Molly rolled her eyes.
After they’d had dinner, Molly was hit by a pang of sadness. Soon, she would be on her own in the house she had grown up in. Telling Saskia that she was going to bed, she went upstairs into her mum’s bedroom and pulled the door closed behind her. Turning on the lamp, she opened the wardrobe and ran her fingers along the clothes hanging there, each piece bringing back a different memory. Sliding a denim jacket off the hanger, she slipped it on. It smelt like her mum, of perfume and sunscreen. Slipping it off, she put it away again. Her fingers closed around the hanger of a navy-blue velvet jumpsuit. She rubbed the soft fabric between her fingers, clutching it to her as she sat down on her mum’s bed.
‘Mum, she’s going away. She’s doing it at last, following her dreams.’ Molly lowered her voice. ‘I’m so proud of her, but I’ll miss her so much.’
‘I’m going to miss you too.’ Saskia appeared at the door. ‘Sorry to interrupt.’
‘Come here.’ Molly held out her arms to Saskia who came and sat next to her on the bed.
Saskia pulled Molly in for a hug. ‘We’ll still see each other loads, I promise, I mean you work in London, right?’ She let Molly go.
‘I know.’ Molly nodded. ‘I didn’t want to say anything to you, I didn’t want you to think that I wasn’t happy for you.’
‘You can be happy for me and sad for you.’ Saskia brushed Molly’s hair away from her face. ‘You’re not rationed to just one feeling at a time.’
‘I know. I am happy for you. You’re going to be Tinkerbell.’ Molly beamed at Saskia. ‘You were made for that role.’
‘I hope so.’ Saskia laughed. ‘We’ll soon see. The director is taking a big chance on me so I need to prove I can do it.’
‘You can. I’ve seen you do it a thousand times before,’ Molly said firmly.
Saskia smiled at the jumpsuit laid out on the bed. ‘She looked beautiful in that, didn’t she? You should try it on.’
‘I can’t.’ Molly shook her head. ‘It’s hers and it reminds me of her. I couldn’t wear it.’
‘Maybe it wants new memories.’ Saskia said, raising her eyebrow.
***
On Saturday evening, in the Thai restaurant tucked away in the back streets of the city, Molly, Saskia, Jess, and Liz gathered to celebrate Saskia’s new role.
‘I would like to make a toast. To me and my brilliant acting skills,’ Saskia said, raising her glass.
Jess, Liz, and Molly snorted with laughter, but held their glasses high. ‘To Saskia and her brilliant acting skills,’ they chorused.
‘I’ve convinced my boss to let me play a couple of show tunes out tomorrow night in your honour. Will you come and be a guest on my show when you’re done with being a West End star?’ Jess asked.
‘Obviously. Don’t worry, I won’t forget my humble beginnings,’ Saskia said, smirking.
Saskia laughed. ‘I’m sure you’d have fun trying though.’ She turned to Liz. ‘Has Martha ever been to a pantomime?’
Liz shook her head. ‘Not yet. I wasn”t sure if she would sit still long enough, but I”m sure if you”re in it she will.’
‘Wonderful,’ Saskia said. ‘I’ll see if I can get you all backstage so she can meet everyone.’
‘That would be great!’ Liz’s eyes lit up. ‘She loves Peter Pan, and she’s obsessed with Tinkerbell.’
‘I was too when I was her age.’ Saskia grinned. ‘I did audition for Tiger Lily as well, but the girl who got the part is so much better suited to it. She has this gorgeous shiny dark hair and olive skin.’
‘You guys suited dark hair at Halloween. I was surprised,’ Liz said.
‘It was so much fun,’ Molly replied. ‘Not as much fun as seeing Saskia dressed as a man, wrapped around Scott.’
Jess and Liz laughed, and Saskia blushed. ‘Shut up, you lot. I am a lucky girl. He fancies me no matter what I’m wearing. He’s seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m sure he would still want to be with me, even if I was still doing adverts for cold sore cream.’
‘Hey, that advert paid for our decking,’ Molly said. ‘This role is huge, and I know it’s going to lead to other things that will be just as good.’
‘Thanks, love.’ Saskia blew Molly a kiss. ‘And all of you, you’ve always been my best bitches. I’m going to miss you all so much, but I keep telling myself it’s only a month.’
Molly squeezed a slice of lime over the last of her noodles. This role would only be a month, but once Saskia was in London, among other actors and actresses, she’d be sure to make contacts. Her career could take off, pulling her away from Canterbury. She remembered Saskia’s words and allowed herself to feel both happy and sad, plastering a smile onto her face so that the others wouldn’t know.
***
Molly dragged herself out of bed the next morning. She picked up her phone and read the garbled message from Liz.
Liz: Can’t make yoga. Can’t leave my bed. Too much Champagne! X
She laughed and typed out a reply.
Molly: Uh oh… get some rest X
Liz: It is baaaaaad. Jake has taken Martha to the park. Can barely open my eyes. X
Molly laughed and put her phone on her bedside table. She peeked into Saskia’s room on her way to the shower and grinned at her sister, sprawled across her bed, fast asleep. She showered and went downstairs, and with her stomach still swirling from the Champagne the night before, made herself some tea and toast.
Once she’d eaten it, she returned to the kitchen, made a strong coffee, and took it back upstairs with her.
‘Sas? Can I come in?’ Hearing a muffled groan, Molly nudged Saskia’s door open.
Expecting to see her sister still spread out on her bed, she was surprised to see her sat on the floor in her pyjamas, surrounded by the contents of her wardrobe. Molly handed her the coffee. ‘Thought you might need this.’
‘Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.’ Saskia took the mug and sipped it. ‘How do you feel this morning?’
‘A bit rough to be honest.’ Molly sat down, leaning against Saskia’s bed. ‘I’m not used to drinking so much Champagne. How about you?’
‘Same.’ Saskia groaned as her eyes ran over the chaos around her. ‘This seemed like a good idea ten minutes ago.’
Molly cast her eyes over the room. The wardrobe doors hung open, and the drawers were open too, clothes spilling out of them. ‘Want a hand?’
‘Uh yes.’ Saskia nodded vigorously. ‘I need all the help I can get.’
‘I’ll be right back.’ Molly went downstairs and fetched some rubbish sacks. She opened the cupboard under the stairs and got out a large suitcase which she dragged up the stairs and into Saskia’s bedroom ‘The suitcase is for whatever you want to take to London, and everything else we’ll either donate or put away. Got it?’
‘Thank you.’ Saskia stood up and hugged her sister. ‘You’re always here for me.’
‘And I always will be.’ Molly squeezed Saskia tightly. Her hangover was only amplifying the tide of emotions washing over her. As hard as she tried to tell herself that Saskia was doing what she was born to do, she still didn’t want to let her go.
‘Alright, enough already.’ Saskia wriggled out of Molly’s grip ‘I’m going to start crying. We need to focus, and sort this mess out.’
‘Good plan.’ Molly nodded and held up a pair of black faux leather trousers.
Saskia let out a wicked cackle. ‘Oh, those are staying. They bring back a lot of good memories.’
Molly dropped them. ‘They’ve been washed though, right?’
***
A few hours later they had sorted through all of Saskia’s clothes. Molly had stopped feeling sick and had kept Saskia focused with a steady stream of soda, sugary sweets and crisps.
Saskia picked up a pile of books and put them in a bag for the charity shop. She waggled the filthy novel at Molly. ‘This should give someone else a bit of a laugh.’
‘Well, I enjoyed it,’ Molly said, shrugging. She shook her cloth out of the empty window, recoiling at the amount of dust on it. ‘It was like chewing gum for my brain, I just switched off.’
Saskia nodded approvingly at the immaculately tidy room. ‘I’d love it to be this tidy all the time.’
‘In order for that to happen, you would have to actually tidy it. And clean it.’ Molly grimaced. ‘I’m not going to even think about what kind of hellhole your bedroom in London will end up like.’
‘Maybe I’ll turn over a new leaf.’ Saskia raised her eyebrow. ‘I’ll be like you, obsessively tidy.’ She paused. ‘Are you going to be alright here on your own?’
‘Yes of course, I’m twenty-six years old. I’m not a child.’ Molly rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t looking forward to being on her own in the house, especially now, when the mornings and the evenings were so dark.
‘I’m not suggesting you are,’ Saskia said. ‘You’re way more grown up than I’ll ever be. I just worry about you.’
Molly folded her arms. ‘ You don’t need to worry about me. I won’t be alone. I have Liz, remember.’
‘And you have Chris too,’ Saskia said, smirking.
‘I do. He is a very good friend,’ Molly said firmly. ‘I think Mark might come here more often if you aren’t giving him the death glare.’
‘Will he though?’ Saskia’s eyes narrowed. ‘I can’t help feeling like he’s just paying you lip service.’
‘I can’t keep having the same conversation with you.’ Molly bit her lip.
‘Fine. I’ll say no more.’ Saskia jumped off the bed and went back to tidying her make-up. ‘This is the lipstick I used on you on Halloween,’ she said, holding it out to Molly. ‘It suits you much better than me.’
Molly applied it using Saskia’s mirror, then turned to face her. ‘Does it still suit me without the black hair?’
‘Oh yes. Keep it.’ Saskia nodded.
Molly took the lipstick back to her bedroom and put it in her make-up bag. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol last night, or Saskia leaving, but she had spent the whole day trying not to cry. She took a deep breath and twisted the gold rings around on her fingers.
When she went back into Saskia’s room, she could finally see the progress they’d made. The wardrobe, dresser and bedside table were all spotless. Saskia was sitting on the bed sorting through the last of her things.
‘We have one last job. We need to take these bags to the charity shop. Are you ready?’ Molly asked.
Saskia shook her head. ‘Not really. I don’t think I will ever be though. Can we go to the drive through on the way back? I need a burger.’
‘That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.’ Molly wrinkled her nose at her dusty clothes. ‘Let me have a quick shower.’
‘That’s not a bad idea. I still have crisp crumbs all over me.’ Saskia cackled and Molly rolled her eyes.