Chapter 22 Run
TWENTY-TWO
RUN
ANNALIESE
Istare at him. “Um. What? Of course there is. We both signed it…”
Sebastien gets to his feet. I pause, letting my words trail to a close as he ducks behind the couch, going through his luggage. When he’s standing again, he’s holding a black velvet box about the size of my phone.
“A couple of days into our marriage, I knew that this was it for me. You were it for me. So I took your binder, grabbed mine, and I burned those fuckers in that fireplace.” He uses his shoulder to gesture behind him at the dead grate.
“I scooped up the ashes, brought them to this jeweler I found online. And he used the ashes to make this.”
Moving over to me, he pops open the lid on the box.
My eyes go wide when I see the gold chain nestled on another black velvet bed, but it’s the small, heart-shaped pendant that really catches my attention.
At first, you’d think it was a glittering diamond, but as he lowers it in front of me, letting me peer closely at it, I see the hint of black specks that might just be the melted plastic and burnt paper that used to be our marriage contracts.
He steps back, reaches into his jacket pocket, and pulls out a small velvet box.
My heart slams into my ribs.
I rerun what he said. A couple of days into our marriage… So he got a tattoo and then burned our contract? From the beginning?
“Sebastien—”
Before I know it, he’s lifting the necklace out of the jewelry box. He lets it fall to the floor, freeing his hands to undo the clasp and settle it around my throat. I can’t even stop him, and I don’t know if I would’ve if I could. I just sit still as he puts the necklace on me.
“There,” he say softly, lips brushing my ear, “now you know all of my truths. Julie broke my fucking heart, Annaliese. But you, love? You put it back together without even realizing you were doing it. And now you have mine.”
Remember that oppressive feeling like I needed to bolt from earlier? It comes back ten-fold.
I wait until he’s stood up before I jump to my feet.
Suddenly, I can’t breathe. The weight of the necklace he gave me is nothing, but the meaning? It’s too, too much.
“Sebastien, I—” I swallow. “I just… I need a moment. Okay?”
He stiffens. “Annaliese?”
I take a step away from him. Another. The cabin door is right over there. I just have to reach it.
“Mountain air,” I gasp. “I need some air.”
His jaw tightens. His eyes darken.
And then he reaches out, lashing my wrist with his hand, as he says one word that has me freezing more than his sudden grab does—
“Wait.”
Damn it. The emotion he poured into that single syllable? How can I resist him?
I shudder out a breath. “Okay.”
Sebastien lets go of me. It’s his turn to wait, checking to see if I’m going to continue to dash out the door, but when I stay where I am, he lets out a relieved breath of his own, chasing it with a hollow laugh.
“Be honest, love. How bad did I fuck up here?”
“What? I.. I don’t know what you mean.”
He arches an eyebrow. “I just told you I loved you and made it clear that there will be no leaving me forever. I gave you jewelry that proves it. And you look like you’re about to do a runner.
So, yeah… I fucked up. The question is how bad did I fuck up, and is there any way I can fix it without sending you running out the door?
Because you can try. I mean, I’ll chase you, but you can try. ”
I dart out my tongue, dabbing my bottom lip. “It’s not like that.”
“It’s not? Okay. Fine. I’ll bite. Is this about Julie? Because I promise you that I would’ve never hurt her. You’re safe with me, Annaliese.”
“I know.” If there’s one thing I do know, it’s that. “And I’m glad you told me about her. I’m sorry, too. Sorry that you lost her. Sorry that I kept Eric hidden from you—”
“I’m not.”
I blink up at him.
He gives me a crooked grin. “Okay. I wasn’t quick enough.
Yeah, I wish you would’ve trusted me enough to tell me about that prick.
If I knew, I would’ve handled him long before now.
” Sebastien huffs, shaking his head, never losing that grin.
“Adrian’s gonna flip his shit when he finds out who the fucker was. ”
I must have made a confused face because he goes on to explain: “The fucker. That’s what I called him.
I knew that there was some guy who hurt you…
the reason why you felt like you had to marry anyone.
I’ve been trying to figure out how that fucker was since the night we got engaged.
Even had my bros on the hunt. I just never thought it would be a man like Eric Ward which just proves that I’m a fucking idiot.
You deserve the best, Annaliese. A man like Ward could give you the best.”
“He could,” I agree softly, “but he couldn’t give me the one thing I wanted.”
“Yeah? And what was that?”
“I just wanted to get married.”
Something sparks in his dark eyes. “You’re my wife.”
I nod.
“I couldn’t marry Julie. Fuck, I don’t know if I would’ve if I could.
She was using me the same way that fucker was using you.
But who knows? Maybe we were supposed to get our hearts broken so that, when two broken people like us found each other, we could be whole again.
” Sebastien jerks his head. “Shit. That was sappy. It sounded better in my head—”
“No,” I say, cutting him off. “I… I think I get it. And maybe… maybe you’re right.”
“You think so?”
I shrug. “I mean, yeah. So we met in a really weird way. Got married before we ever really knew each other. I’m not going back to Eric.
You can’t go back to Julie. So if you want to see what happens, where this goes…
I know you burned the contracts,” I say, rubbing my thumb over the pendant he put on me, “but I have copies. And it says we can negotiate—”
“No.”
Sebastien’s harsh ‘no’ is so unexpected, I take a step back, moving closer to the door. “What?”
“You heard me, Annaliese. You’re still trying to put walls up between us. Still trying to give yourself a way out.”
“It’s not me—” I begin.
His jaw flexes. “If you’re going to tell me that you’re trying to give me an out, let me save you the trouble.
I’m not going anywhere. I told you from the beginning.
If I married you, I was playing for keeps.
There is no year-term. No contract. There is no ‘renegotiating’ because this?
This is ‘til death do you part. And I don’t mean like how the Order does it, where you live your life and I live mine.
I love you. You understand me? And I’m done with pretending that I’ll let you get away from me. ”
A nervous twinge has me jerking in place. “Sebastien, I don’t know—”
He’s not done.
“Love isn’t gentle for people like me, Annaliese.
It’s sharp. It cuts. And I’ll bleed for you every time.
Because you? You’re my wife, and you have been since the first time you let me in.
It just took us both a minute to catch up, but if you think I’m letting you go, you better grab a knife.
‘Cause the only way my heart will stop beating for you is if you carve it out of my fucking chest.”
“Sebastien—”
He moves closer to me, digging in his pocket as he closes the slight gap I put between us. When only a few feet separating my husband and me, he yanks his hand out, showing me the folded pocket knife he was carrying with him.
“Connor gave us… the five of us… these when we graduated middle school.” He twirls it. “I want you to have it.”
Middle school… he’s had to have owned that for at least fifteen years. And he wants to give it to me?
I hold up my hand, warding him. “That’s okay. You keep it.”
“I insist.” Sebastien moves into me, pressing the cool metal against my palm, folding my fingers over it.
“Now you have the tool you need to stop me loving you.” With his now-free hand, he tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at him.
“Carve out my heart. Slit my throat… because, I’m telling you, that’s the only way you’ll get me to stop. ”
“Sebastien…”
He looks down at me, waiting for me to finish speaking.
But how?
The weight of the pocket knife he gave me is almost as bad as the necklace. Suddenly, the room is spinning. Suddenly, I really need that air. That space.
“I’ll be back,” I blurt out.
He furrows his brow. “Love?”
No. Not ‘love’. Not now.
I flash him a thin-lipped smile, then turn.
The door is unlocked. I don’t even bother to grab a light jacket.
Just me, one of Sebastien’s oversized button-down shirts that he lets me use as pajamas because he rarely wears them, my comfy leggings, and my sneakers…
phone? Nope. I even place the pocket knife down on the stand by the door before I grope for the knob, turning it roughly, then bolting out the front door.
I have to. I have to run, even if I don’t understand why.
I need to go.
Suddenly, the woods are too quiet. The cabin is too small.
And Sebastien… he’s too everything. Sexy and kind, possessive and perplexing.
Demanding and so broken if only because he believes he is…
but who can blame him? When the Order’s bad boy finally tried to settle down, he chose an unavailable woman and has to live with the regret that he inadvertently caused her death.
Then, by the time I came along, he agreed to a year—only to decide to ask for forever.
If I was him, I’d never fall in love again. I was led on by Eric and I did vow to keep my heart out of this ‘relationship’. I tried. I swear, I did. This was supposed to be a fake marriage—but somewhere along the lines, it stopped being fake to me.
And Sebastien? If I can believe him, it was never fake.