Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Ivor
That evening, Ivor ordered some food for him and Rowan from his favorite Italian restaurant. He didn’t know what Rowan liked, so he got him several things to choose from. He knocked on the office door and opened it when Rowan called out.
“Brought you dinner,” he said as he walked inside, then started setting all the containers on the desk.
Rowan jumped up from where he’d been sitting on the bed with his new laptop. He set it down and walked to the desk. “That smells fantastic. Italian? Because I’m definitely smelling tomato sauce, and it doesn’t look like pizza.”
Ivor shot him a smile. “Yes, Italian. I didn’t know what you’d normally order, so I got you spaghetti, lasagna, and chicken piccata. That should cover any cravings you might have.”
“I fucking love piccata, so I’ll go with that.” He pointed at the mini fridge in the corner of the office. “The others can go in there for tomorrow. Thanks for doing this. I was actually getting pretty hungry.”
“How did the work with Daniel go?” Ivor handed him the container with the chicken, along with a napkin, knife, and fork. He snapped his fingers. “Forgot drinks, so I’ll be right back.”
“There are a bunch in that fridge. I don’t know who this office belongs to, so I just planned to replace anything I drink.”
Ivor went to the small refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water. “This is Torrence’s office, and he actually stocked that up with drinks for you. So you don’t have to worry about refilling it.”
“I’m not even paying you guys, so it would make me feel better.” Rowan settled back on the bed with the open container on his lap. He cut into the chicken and popped a bite into his mouth. “Oh, that’s excellent. Perfect amount of lemon.” He gestured toward the bed. “You’re welcome to join me.”
Ivor really wanted to sit close to him but decided it would be better to take the chair. He’d ordered lasagna for himself as well, so he settled in with his food.
They were both quiet for a little while as they ate.
He couldn’t stop staring at Rowan, smiling when the man kept sneaking looks back at him.
The awareness he felt was so strong, he knew Rowan had to be feeling it, too.
That moment between them earlier in Daniel’s office had been so damn hot, he’d had trouble focusing the rest of the day.
He swallowed a bite of lasagna and set his fork down. “So tell me about yourself. What do you do other than create the best desserts I’ve ever tasted?”
Rowan shrugged as he chewed, then swallowed. “Not too much, actually. I’m addicted to my Kindle. I like to read, and not having my Kindle has me feeling weird and out of sorts.”
“What do you read?”
“Romance. Mostly gay romance, though I read a lot of straight historical ones, too. My reading changes with my moods.” He shifted on the bed, frowning. “When I can’t bake to keep calm, I have my books and… Well, it’s hard being here without that outlet, too.”
Ivor zeroed in on one word. “Calm?”
Rowan looked away from him and cleared his throat.
“I deal with anxiety.” He looked back at Ivor.
“I’m a worrywart and have been my entire life.
It drove my father crazy. Neither he nor my siblings seem to have issues like that at all.
I always kind of envied them that. Though, they’re still mostly assholes. ”
“I get that from what you said before. Plus, I met them. Though your mother didn’t seem as much of one.”
“Even she really only cares about social status. Everything in their lives revolves around being seen the right way. Well, my brother is a little different. He’s actually a doctor, so there must be some kind of empathy there, though he doesn’t show it.”
“So you’re not close with any of them?”
“I was close to my mother, but she’s so far cowed under my father’s thumb, she just goes along with everything he says.
” Rowan shrugged. “I gave up trying to reach her a long time ago. My family basically disowned me for following my dreams. The ironic part was they never cared about my sexuality, but for some crazy reason, my being a chef is somehow beneath them. To them, the help cooks. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen growing up, even though I got into trouble for it every time my father caught me there. When I went off to college for it, my father just wrote me off.”
“So, in following your dreams, you lost your family?” Ivor frowned. “I’m sorry.”
Rowan shrugged again. “They’re not really good people, so it’s not much of a loss. I thought I’d have my trust fund to live on while I worked my way up, but my father managed to get his hands on it.”
“So that’s why the tiny apartment?”
“Yep. But it was cozy, and I liked it.”
“You could go back and set it to rights. I’m sorry you’ll be starting from scratch.”
“I did it before, so I’ll do it again.” He set down his food, curled his legs underneath him on the bed, and sighed.
“But I do miss my Kindle. I have my phone, but it’s not the same.
I have my comfort rereads in actual collections on the Kindle, and I could sure use some comfort now.
I wish we could just give that draugr the arm ring so it would go away. ”
“Xavier explained why that was a bad idea.”
“I know. The lich.” He looked away. “It’s hard to wrap my head around all this. I mean, I grew up knowing about you guys, seeing you. But to know there’s a thing out there with the power to wreak utter havoc scares me to death.”
“It will never get near you, Rowan. I would not allow that.”
Rowan’s sudden grin made him look so pretty, Ivor’s chest tightened.
“Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around his chest. “I know you came after me to protect me, but I also know you don’t have to stay here at the office with me. I…feel better with you here.”
“I’m glad.”
“So tell me about you. Where were you born?”
“Amsterdam. But I’ve lived all over the world.”
“Why did you end up here in Seattle?”
“Xavier came to me, Emory, and Dax and offered us jobs. He actually only offered the positions to Emory and me, but we wouldn’t take them without Dax.”
“Dax is your ogre friend, right? I’ve met him, and he seems really nice.”
Ivor nodded. “He and Emory are basically my family since mine is long gone.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. How did you lose them? I thought you guys live forever?”
“Not forever, just a long time. I never knew my father, but my mother was killed when I was still a teenager. I was alone, mostly, for a couple hundred years.”
“Mostly?” He blinked at Ivor. “A couple hundred years?”
“Yes, I’m over four hundred. And to answer your first question, I had relationships, but with my magic, they weren’t possible to maintain.”
“What do you mean?”
Ivor hesitated, but not for long because he knew this conversation needed to happen.
There was just too much awareness between them, and while he did believe Rowan was possibly his soulmate, he was still reticent after his past. “My magic feeds off sex, and when I feed, it drains energy. So being monogamous isn’t an option for me. ”
Obvious disappointment flashed through Rowan’s expression. “Oh,” he murmured mostly under his breath.
That hint of disappointment sent a thrill through Ivor, but it was quickly overshadowed by regret.
He’d spent a lot of time with Rowan the last few days and had found him to be funny and warm-natured.
He was sexy as hell, yes, but his personality also pulled Ivor in.
So much that he hadn’t even left the office to go home and shower, instead showering here and wearing clothes he kept in his go bag.
He’d also picked up on the hints that Rowan dealt with anxiety, had in fact watched him stop something he was doing to close his eyes and bring himself under control.
But there were also times he seemed to just check out completely, and Ivor couldn’t help but wonder where his mind went during those times.
Rowan cleared his throat. “So you said your magic feeds off sex. What happens to it when you don’t feed it?”
“It grows weak, and my body soon follows because my magic is a part of me.”
“How often do you have to feed it?” Rowan’s cheeks turned pink. “That’s pretty personal, so sorry. I’m just curious because I’ve never met an incubus before.”
“That you know of.” Ivor winked. “I do have to feed often. It’s actually been a little longer than I normally go.”
“That’s my fault. I’m sorry.”
“You certainly don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m exactly where I want to be and that’s protecting you. I’m…interested in you, Rowan.”
“Really?”
Ivor nodded slowly.
“Like as in a possible food source?” Rowan’s voice had dropped and his already pink cheeks darkened.
“I would not use you like that.”
“What if… What if I was interested in that myself?”
Ivor leaned forward, gaze locked on Rowan, and he stayed quiet until Rowan met his gaze. “Are you saying you want me, Rowan?”
“Who wouldn’t? I’m pretty sure half the people in this office want you. It’s your magic, right? You put off something that attracts us?”
“I don’t do that here. What I’m hearing is you’re attracted to me and trust me. I’ve done nothing to make you feel that.”
“So it must be just you, then,” Rowan murmured. “This is going to sound crazy, but that first night, at the restaurant, I felt something when we looked at each other. I could see you felt it, too. I have an admittedly overactive imagination, but I wasn’t imagining that.”
“No, you weren’t. I find you breathtaking.”
Rowan’s eyes widened. “Oh,” he whispered.
Ivor half expected him to say something self-derogatory and was glad when he didn’t. He seemed to accept at face value that they were both attracted. For someone who didn’t seem to have a lot of self-confidence, that flat out acceptance was hot as hell. Arousal teased his senses.
Rowan still stared at him with those beautiful eyes wide. “So, you said you said you won’t use me. Is it possible for you to have sex and not feed?”
Ivor slowly shook his head. “I can rein it in some, but I inevitably do. My magic absorbs the feelings during sex and especially the full-on release.”
“That’s actually…pretty cool. I bet you have a lot of great sex, then.”
He knew his grin was pure wickedness. “Oh yes, Rowan, if there is one thing I know I do well, it’s sex. I was made for it.”
Rowan shuddered, and Ivor grew more aroused. He wanted to lock the door, stretch Rowan out on that bed, and make a feast of his body. Wanted to hear the noises he would make with his own desire, with the pleasure Ivor knew he could give him.
The air between them grew thick and heated.
“Damn,” Rowan said softly. “I think we’re gonna have to put a pin in this not wanting to use me thing because right now, I really, really want to be used.”
Those words sent a flood of lust washing through Ivor, but he tamped it down. Ivor had always operated under a catch-and-release policy, but the problem was he didn’t want to release Rowan. He was too damn special.
But not releasing him could be deadly.