Nila
NEEDLE I know it.
I still hadn’t gotten up the guts to ask him, but sometimes I’d catch him watching me with secrets in his eyes.
I didn’t care that it might all be a ruse to get inside my head. I didn’t care I was nothing more than a marionette being told what to think and who to trust. I had to forget about all that and follow my heart—because, ultimately, that was the only thing that might save me.
Then, of course, there was Jethro. He confused me, perplexed me, and completely befuddled me.
One minute I would gladly pour gasoline over his wintry shell and see if I could burn him into the person I saw rare glimpses of, the next he did things like last night and ruined all the softness I had for him.
How could I understand someone who didn’t even understand himself?
You can’t talk. One second you’re trying to seduce him, the next you’re trying to make him bleed.
We were as bad as each other.
Looking at the text again, I clicked reply. Biting my lip, I wondered why Kes/Kite had had a bad night. What had happened when Jethro tugged me away? And why hadn’t Kes tried to talk to me when he realised I wasn’t replying to his messages?
We saw each other every day. All he had to do was whisper something in my ear. Something that would confirm this labyrinthine mystery once and for all.
Perhaps Jethro showed the new contract to Kes—rubbed it in his face that no matter how Kes felt about me, he could never have me?
Ugh. The headache from last night came back with a heavy cloud.
Needle it wasn’t exactly comfortable to sleep in.
Kite007: I stooped to an all-new low. Remember when I said we’re all products of our upbringing? Well, I keep blaming everything wrong inside me on that. I use it as an excuse, but what if it isn’t good enough anymore?
Oh, my God.
I’d never heard Kite sound so melancholy. My heartbeat increased as my fingers flew over the keyboard.
Needle I no longer knew what I should hide. The little kitten who didn’t have claws would’ve curled into a ball at such a revealing question, but that was no longer an option, and I didn’t want it to be.
I was no longer afraid of diving deep and finding out who I truly was.
Needle my stomach twisted with eagerness.
Kite007: I need to know more. Stick to the subject and give me the truth. Nothing more. Nothing less. What were you doing when you said you came?
My heart raced.
Needle&Thread: Releases for me were found either on my treadmill or from working until my brain was numb.
Five minutes passed.
Kite007: And the only time you came? How did that happen?
As if you don’t know.
Suddenly, I was over it all. Over the fibs, the half-truths, the veiled secrets. He knew how it happened. He’d watched his damn brother stick his tongue between my legs and make me combust.
Needle&Thread: I came with the tongue of my enemy between my legs. He drove me so damn high and hard that I gave him a piece of myself no one else ever had, and he used it as a weapon against me. There, you happy?
My chest rose and fell. Arguing via faceless messages wasn’t enough. I wanted to strike and hurt and scream.
Kite007: If you were here with me, I’d give you your second release. I’d finger you until you were soaking, then I’d do what I’ve wanted to fucking do since I set eyes on you.
My mouth went terribly dry.
Needle&Thread: What have you wanted to do?