Chapter 98 Jethro
Jethro
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OF COURSE, SHE ran.
I fully expected her to.
Unlike last time when I expected her to cower by my feet, I’d had the last month to get to know my charge. Through getting into her mind via text messages, and getting into her body by sheer insane passion, I’d come to understand her—more than she knew.
And unfortunately for her, she’d lost the ability to surprise me.
She’d lost the ability because I’d been inside her body and mind. I’d traded my soul for hers—no matter how much she would deny it. No matter how much I would deny it. We were linked.
Connected.
Bound.
Somehow, she’d crept inside my barricaded heart. She’d weakened me—but that weakness worked both ways.
I felt her. I heard her fears, tasted her tears, and somehow knew how she would react.
I hadn’t permitted anyone to have that control over me since Jasmine. Even Kes and I didn’t share such a strong connection.
That strange bond had a name.
I called it my disease.
And it only got worse the more I was around Nila.
I craved her so intensely; I would break both of us before any more debts were paid.
I didn’t think she believed me when I said we were well and truly fucked. And not just because of my father and what he would do. But because of what I was.
Because of my...condition.
The moment I left her on the porch, I knew she’d go. The knowledge echoed in my bones, making it fact rather than speculation.
In the time it took to jog back to my room and trade my riding attire for all-black workout gear, she’d gone.
Balling my hands in the cool morning air, I smiled. A genuine smile. It’d been forever since I’d let myself relax enough to be genuine about any emotion.
Just like empathy and compassion were banned from my repertoire, so too, was feeling something so purely that it became a spark in my dead heart. I didn’t want to be genuine about anything because it could be used against me.
It was best to hate everything and everyone. To hide my true desires even from myself.
The anticipation of another hunt sent my blood flowing thick and hot.
Her tiny footprints led a trail, like enticing crumbs. The dew-damp grass flattened from her path.
I’m coming, Nila.
Just like before, I took off after my prey. But the difference between this chase and the previous one was I knew she wanted me to hunt her. I knew she wanted to be found. And I knew she fed off this cat and mouse idiocy as much as I did.
My legs spread into a large stride as I left the Hall behind.
I preferred to perch on the back of Wings when galloping fast and far. I wasn’t a jogger. It wasn’t quick enough for me. I missed the power of a large beast between my legs, responding to the commands to race and outrun everything that I was.
Every footfall caused me to wince from what I’d done to myself in my last ‘fixing’ session. The pain radiated up my legs. I supposed I should be grateful for the agony—it helped me in so many ways. And I needed all the help I could get with Nila wreaking havoc on my world.
You know it’s no longer working, so why still do it?
That was true.
Pain no longer held the comfort or fortress it used to. Jasmine was right. It was time to start looking at other methods, or, if I was brave enough, let everything that I’d been hiding emerge.
I snorted at the reaction that would get me. Not to mention the complications with my father.
No, I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Besides, I had more important things on my mind.
Such as hunting.
Leaping over the rock wall and tearing down the path, I put my head down and ran after my little Weaver.
* * * * *
A pitiful six minutes later, I gained on her.
Her stride and pace were impressive, and I had to appreciate her wily ways of trying to throw me off her trail by cutting across the driveway and disappearing into the woods on the other side.
But I was an experienced hunter.
Her clues littered behind her, leading me directly to my prey.
Her hair bounced, tendrils coming loose from her hair-tie. Her sculptured legs led to the firmest arse I’d ever seen.
My mouth watered.
I wanted to bite it. Bite her. Lick her. Fuck her.
“This seems all too familiar,” I muttered, pulling up beside her with a burst of speed.
She jumped, clutching her heart. “Shit, I didn’t hear you creeping behind me.”
“Creeping? I did nothing of the sort.”
She rolled her eyes, settling back into the punishing pace she’d set. I matched my stride to hers. Companionable silence fell as my attention turned inward again, focusing on the agony in my feet.
I really shouldn’t have chosen that part of my body—especially if running with her became a frequent occurrence.
I’d have to find a new place in which to fix myself.
The soles of my feet had been used for years—when I needed the extra buffer.
No one could see the marks, no one would know, and the pain was constant whenever I moved.
A perfect place for secrets.
“Do you run?” Nila asked. Her breathing was heavy but even, her fitness level higher than mine.
I shook my head. “No. I prefer exercise where a horse does the hard work, or perhaps a punching bag that takes my fists.”
“You do that often?”
“What, ride?”
“No, assault an innocent punching bag.” Her dark eyes landed on mine, diving deep into my complexities before I slammed up my walls and prevented her from seeing any more.
“No more than usual,” I said, pulling ahead of her.
With a small grunt, she matched me, not letting me disappear. “I know you have issues, Jethro. But I’ll keep my speculations to myself...for now.” Running for a while, she finally asked, “What time did you wake up today?”
I frowned, gritting my teeth against the pounding pain in my feet. “What?”
“It’s dawn, yet you’ve already been for a ride. Are you an early riser?”
I snorted. You could say that. “I’m not good at sleeping. Wings is used to me.”
“Wings?”
“My gelding.” I threw her a glance. “The horse I was riding when I tracked you. Remember?”
Nila’s face shadowed. No doubt thinking of the hunt and the consequential amazing blowjob.
Sexual tension sprang harder between us, itching my skin, making my cock swell.
My voice turned gruff as I added, “Ever since he was broken in, Wings has been used to me sneaking into the stables and going for a ride in the dead of night. He got a small sleep in today. I didn’t saddle him up until four a.m.”
Nila nodded, soaking up my confession as if I’d announced the epicentre of why I was fucked up.
“You didn’t have any shipments to take care of?”
I narrowed my eyes. “How do you—” I cut myself off. Kestrel. Of course. The weeks they’d spent together meant she would probably have a good idea of the sort of wealth we smuggled and the amount of shipments completed since she’d arrived at Hawksridge.
“Why can’t you sleep?” she asked. We ran side-by-side, leaving the gloom of the forest and trading mud for the gravel of a pathway.
I looked up. My heart clamoured.
Shit, we’re on the wrong track.
I didn’t want her to see what was up ahead. Not yet. I was sure my father had some sick agenda to show her when she fell out of his good graces, but I didn’t want to break her again. Not so soon.
I’d avoided the place most of my life. It held only terror. So why the fuck were we running toward it? It was almost as if she’d been summoned by forces outside my comprehension.
A chill darted down my back at the thought. I slowed my pace.
Nila looked back, decreasing her steps to match mine. “Are you going to answer me?”
What, why can’t I sleep?
“No.”
I had no intention of answering. There was no easy response, and she knew far too much about me already. Trying to distract her, I said, “Why do you have to run?”
She ran a hand over her forehead, wiping away glistening sweat. “To re-centre myself. At home, it was the only time I had to calm my mind. The deadlines, the demands—it all stole something that I only found again when I was alone with just my frantic heartbeat to keep me company.”
Shit.
Her answer was fucking perfect.
I swallowed hard as a glow of more than just lust washed over me.
She understood. She dealt with the same pressures, the same expectations. Only her flaws were visible to everyone, while I hid mine as best I could.
Admit it. The moment you saw her on the catwalk in Milan, you knew.
I fisted my hands, trying to stop the conclusion from forming.
But it was no use. My mind delivered the crushing knowledge with fanfare and barely hidden relief.
She’s the same as you. You could tell her.
No fucking way would I ever tell her.
I didn’t want to feel anything for her, but I did care. Enough to stop her from seeing what existed ahead. I might not want her in my brain, but I didn’t want her in pieces, either.
I slammed to a halt. “Nila. Stop.”
Locking her knees, she bounced in place and turned to face me. Her chest rose quickly, panting for breath. “What? Why?”
My eyes involuntarily went to the break in the trees up ahead. Damn sunshine broke through the fog at the exact same moment, spotlighting the one place I didn’t want her to see.
Nila followed my gaze. Her shoulders hunched, feeding off my nerves. “What’s up there, Jethro?”
“Nothing.”
“If it’s nothing, then why are you determined not to let me see?”
My temper fed off her nervousness, creating a sick sensation in my gut. “Because it’s time to get back. You’ve wasted enough of the day doing something as pointless as running.” I snapped my fingers. “Let’s go. Now.”
Her eyes filled with rebellion. She looked back to the hill, chewing her lip.
I moved forward, ready to pounce and drag her back to the Hall. “Ms. Weaver—” I inched closer.
Hesitation flittered over her face.
I tried to grab her. But I was too late.
Darting away from me, she said, “I want to see what you’re hiding,” then bolted down the path.
“Fuck!”
Her hair flew free from her hair-tie as she sprinted faster up the gravel and onto the moor that I wished didn’t exist.
Shit, she’s fast.