Chapter 102 Jethro #3
“Fuck!” My stomach swooped and my gut roiled as if to vomit. Stumbling away, I clutched my cock, willing the blistering pain to ebb.
She kneed me!
Over the stupefying pain, I barely noticed Nila encroaching on me.
Her breath was ragged, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes blazed with an odd mixture of lust and hate.
“Don’t touch me, Jethro Hawk. You might have been between my legs.
I might’ve let you inside my body, but I will never let you inside my soul. Not now.”
I hissed between my teeth, riding the waves of torrid agony. I couldn’t stand straight.
Nila bent over to whisper in my ear. “I might not have fangs, but I do have a sharp knee.” With infinitesimal softness, she brushed away the hair that’d flopped over my forehead. Her touch was tender, loving, but beneath it lurked the truth.
Something was missing inside her.
Something that drew me to her and made me believe.
Once again, my family had destroyed any hope of me finding salvation by breaking the one woman who might’ve been strong enough to help me.
Nila murmured, “I don’t kiss men who I find abhorrent. Whatever happened between us is over.”
Gritting my teeth, I unfolded. “Quiet!”
She froze.
My outburst sliced through our bullshit, granting a smidgen of clarity.
“Don’t lie to me. You will let me inside you.
And you will let me own you.” Snatching her wrist, I jerked her close.
“You will because we don’t have a choice.
You’re inside me. Don’t you get it? You’re inside me.
And it’s only fair that I’m inside you.”
Silence.
Breathing hard, I growled, “You know as well as I do the dangerous game we’re playing. I won’t retaliate from what you just did, but don’t push me any further. And don’t you dare fucking say it’s over.” Pressing my nose against hers, I hissed, “Because it’s not.”
Her eyes flared. “Believe me, it is over. I have no intention of ever touching you again.”
My temper boiled at the thought of her denying me more of this—whatever this was. I’d tasted her; I refused to believe we were through.
Cupping her jaw, I murmured, “The moment this morning is done, I’ll show you how wrong you are.
I’ll show you how deep I am inside you. How fucked both of us are.
” I pressed my lips against her cheekbone.
“You want to win? What if I told you it would be better if you lost? Better for both of us if you submitted and stopped fighting for a change.”
She laughed. “Stop fighting? That’s all we have. Don’t you see? If I don’t fight you—then what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to be okay with all of this?”
“Yes.”
She snorted, anger sharpening her features. “Delusional as well as insane.” Shoving me, she demanded, “Tell me why you’re here before I knee you in the balls again.”
God, I wanted to strike her.
I wanted to antagonise her to the point of giving in just so I could fuck her again. My blood was lava; my cock rock hard.
Trying to get myself under control, I snapped, “I forgot to complete a part of the First Debt. My father just reminded me.”
She stiffened. “Didn’t I pay enough for that monster? Twenty-one lashings complete with scars that will last a lifetime. Or did he find out you didn’t freeze me before making me bleed?”
Resentment radiated on her face.
How could I handle her like this? This belligerent?
“No matter what you think of me, I’m doing my best to protect you. I told you I would be in equal trouble for disobeying. I have no intention of explaining the truth.”
Despite herself, some of her temper dispersed, leaving resigned tolerance in her gaze. “If it’s not that...then what?”
My fingers curled tighter around her wrist. I winced as something sharp dug into my thumb. Holding up her arm, the glint of metal winked through the black fabric of her jumper. “Are there needles in your cuffs?”
She tried to jerk her arm away. Unsuccessfully.
“Hardly safe, don’t you think?”
She looked at the sharp pins as I pulled them free and dropped them onto a side table.
Her lips curled. “A hazard of the occupation. It’s convenient to have them there—I misplace them if I’m knee deep in material.” Her black eyes met mine. “Careful where you touch me, Jethro. You’ll never know if a needle will stab you to death.”
I froze. Everything she said came layered with hints and metaphors.
A chill scattered down my spine. “You’re beginning to piss me off, Ms. Weaver. If I didn’t know any better, I would take that as a threat.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Maybe you should say what you mean and be done with it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought I just did. I hate you. There, that blatant enough?”
Oh, my fucking God. This woman.
“You don’t hate me.”
She snarled. “Believe me. I do.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I know more than I need and I don’t like what I know.”
My heart lurched. “You’re just like them. Judging me before you understand me.” The moment the words were free, I panicked. What the fuck?
My fingers twitched to wrap around her throat, to squeeze the knowledge of my secrets from her ears. She’d cut me out. She didn’t deserve to understand.
I moved forward, closing the distance between us, unable to ignore the twinges of cuts on my soles. “Stop punishing me for what happened yesterday.”
She laughed coldly. “Yesterday? You think my repulsion of you is from yesterday?”
I frowned. “Of course, it is. Before you saw what was on the moor, you liked me. You kissed me. You wrapped your legs around me while I fucked—”
“And you fell for it, didn’t you?” Her smile was nasty. “I made you kiss me. I made you fuck me to prove a point.”
The fire in my blood suddenly snuffed out, leaving my heart blackened and charred and eager for the creeping icicles in the dark. My voice dropped to an emotionless void. “What do you mean?”
You used me.
Same as them.
You lied to me.
Same as them.
“I told you to kiss me to prove you have a soul. You have one. I see that now. But I don’t like it.
” She sucked in a breath, cocking her chin with a haughty dismissal.
“I slept with you because I was weak and because I believed you were different. But you’re not different.
You’ll toy with me, hurt me, and ultimately kill me.
And then you’ll bury me with the rotting corpses of my slain family. ”
Her blood pumped thickly beneath my touch. A headache brewed from nowhere. I’d only been here for ten minutes, yet it felt like an eternity. An eternity where all my dreams had just vanished, transforming into nightmares. “What do you want from me? An apology? A fucking—”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want anything from you. All I want is to have nothing to do with you or your bastard kin ever again. I intend to stay in my quarters until each debt must be repaid. I don’t care how long it takes or what you do to me, I’m done playing your stupid games.”
My muscles locked.
Stupid games?
She thought my texts were stupid games? She thought everything that I was going through was a fucking game?
Ice turned to sleet, raining upon my soul. “What are you saying?”
Her eyes glittered with cold-hearted conviction. “I was wrong to think I had any power in this fate. I’m done. Seeing those graves made me grow up.”
“So, you’re just going to lock yourself away and wait to die?”
She nodded. “Having free roam of this place, receiving gifts, and enjoying people’s company undermines my right to feel wronged. I won’t play along anymore. I’m a prisoner and I refuse to forget that.”
I wanted to slap her. I wanted to throw her onto the bed and fuck her. Whoever this woman was in front of me, she wasn’t the Nila who’d made me unravel.
She thought she couldn’t change my family? Maybe she was right. But she sure as fuck changed me.
“Everything you just said is bullshit.”
She shrugged. “Believe what you want to believe.”
I searched her gaze, delving as deep as I could, trying to see the truth. Something about this entire exchange felt fake.
She stared right back, hinting at nothing.
We’d run out of time. Extracting the truth from her would have to come later.
“Enough melodramatics. We’re leaving,” I muttered. “Time to go.”
She scoffed. “Do what you have to do. I’m sure there’s a special place reserved for you Hawks in hell.”
“Goddammit, Nila!”
She flinched.
I didn’t have the strength to have another fight, especially when I needed to concentrate and get through what was about to happen. “Behave. Just once if your fucking life trust without having to understand.”
Yanking her forearm, I pulled her toward the exit.
In a magical twist, she somehow dislodged my grip and stalked to the door on her own.
My jaw locked as she threw me a cold glare and disappeared into the corridor.
Bloody woman.
Catching up to her, I captured her hand.
My heart skipped at the simple touch. Up until now, I’d always grabbed her elbow or arm—keeping our roles perfectly clear. So, what was I doing grabbing her hand like an equal?
Her fingers twitched then looped purposely through mine.
My cock hardened and I slammed to a halt. Christ, I wanted her.
Her nails were long and the tips suddenly sliced into the back of my hand.
I hissed between my teeth. The pinpricks of pain sent me reeling into a memory of her clutching my back as I thrust deep inside her.
Her fingers turned white as she tightened her grip.
I didn’t jolt as two fingernails broke my skin and drew blood.
This was a perfect example of her undoing.
She didn’t understand me. Didn’t understand that she’d just given me a gift better than anything.
With pain, came relief, and with relief, came snow.
My heart slowed its beat. My temper faded. Any remaining fire dwindled to nothing. “Thank you for reminding me of my role in your life, Ms. Weaver. What just happened won’t happen again.”
I won’t be so weak as to kiss you again.
I won’t be so stupid to believe you can see me.
She tilted her chin. “Good.”