Chapter Nila #2
I tightened my grip on the dirk. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He scowled. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
I moved away from him, inching to the other side of the bed. “Tell me why.”
“Why?”
My heart cantered faster—almost as fast as Moth, the day Kes took me for a ride. I should’ve been nice to him. Kinder. Less suspicious.
I bared my teeth. “If this is to re-do the Third Debt, I’m not going. I’ll kill you first.” My threat wasn’t empty. I boiled with the urge to do it—to prove I was done being weak.
Flaw jammed his hands in his back pockets. The action made him appear personable and less threatening.
I didn’t buy it.
He’d been there that first night when Jethro stole me from Milan. He’d witnessed what they’d done to me in the months I’d been there.
“I haven’t been told anything. I guess you’ll just have to come and find out for yourself.”
“Tell Cut he can come for me himself.”
My eyes darted around the room. I had weapons here: needles, scissors, scalpels for sculpturing lace. If I could entice Cut into my nest, I could ambush him with tools I knew how to wield.
He wouldn’t stand a chance.
“Look—” He shrugged. “I was told not to tell you, but fuck it. They’re in the library. And they have guests. I doubt they’ll do anything of a...family matter...in front of an audience.”
No, but they keep such blatant evidence.
Their audacity at keeping mementos of my ancestors’ pain infuriated me. Once I’d killed them, I’d gather up every video and document and burn them. I’d demolish every evidence and set my ancestors’ souls free.
Why not turn it into the police?
I shuddered. The thought of men in suits—men who the Hawks might’ve paid to turn a blind eye for so long—watching video-tapes of my mother’s agony almost made me black out with a vicious vertigo wave.
Gripping the sheets, I let the dizziness subside before blinking my vision clear.
Flaw hadn’t moved; a relaxed employee who knew I’d have to obey eventually.
“Why should I trust you? What’s to stop you from lying?” He might’ve been Kes’s friend, but he was still a Black Diamond. And they weren’t to be trusted.
“Because I might be the last remaining friend you have in this godforsaken place.” His face tightened for a moment, filling with thoughts he refused to share. “You need more? Fine. I happen to know the guests are lawyers.” Holding out his hand, he said, “Happy? Now, let’s go.”
“Lawyers?” I shook my head. “Why?”
What on earth are lawyers doing here?
Flaw gave half a smile. “Instead of all the questions, how about you just get it over with?”
I didn’t want to move but I couldn’t deny he had logic on his side.
With one last glower, I swung my legs off the bed and padded toward him. The room wobbled from getting up so fast, but other than that, my bloodlust for Cut’s life kept me focused on an anchor.
Jethro is no longer my anchor.
I was once again a shipwrecked boat, drifting on an ocean of misfortune.
Flaw’s gaze fell to my knife. “You planning on taking that?”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
I waited for him to snatch it from me. To confiscate it. Instead, he pursed his lips. “I’m not the one on your shit list.”
“Not at the moment, you aren’t.”
He sucked in a breath.
Rebellion and power siphoned through my blood. I didn’t trust Flaw, but he wasn’t my enemy. Holding eye contact, I hitched up the hem of my slouchy cardigan, tucked the dirk in my waistband, and concealed it.
He didn’t say a word.
I was playing with fire. He was on their side.
He could tell them I had it and leave me defenceless, but at the same time, I had to push and search for allies.
Flaw had been kind to me whenever we’d crossed paths.
He’d escorted me to my room late at night if Daniel caught me sneaking to the kitchens.
He’d been there whenever I’d popped in to see Kestrel, laughing and seeming normal and carefree.
Anyone who was friends with Kes couldn’t be too bad—Kes wouldn’t tolerate it.
And I learned that the hard way.
He’s dead.
Just like his brother.
My heart panged. No matter how strong I forced myself to be, I couldn’t stop the lacerations of grief. It was like a rogue wave, lapping at my soul, tugging me under with its rip.
Flaw crossed his arms, challenge sparking in his eyes. “You know the knife won’t be enough.”
“I know.”
He cocked his head. “Then why bother?”
Running my hands through my hair, I twisted the black length to drape over my shoulder. “Because they won’t expect it. And the element of surprise can make a tiny knife become a sword.”
He chuckled. “Deep. Sounds like Confucius or some other metaphorical bullshit.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I know what I mean. I know what I’ll do.” My tone slid to ice. “And I suggest you stay out of my way and keep your mouth shut.”
He laughed quietly. “Hey. As long as you stay away from me, I don’t have a problem. Always knew things would change. Ever since Kes told me what Jethro planned to do on his thirtieth, I knew my lifestyle was up.”
I froze.
He’ll never age another day.
Jethro’s corpse would forever remain twenty-nine—immortal and unchanging.
“What? What was he planning?”
“He didn’t tell you?” He crossed his arms. “I thought you were deep as fucking thieves. That was the reason all of this grew out of control.”
Breathing hard, I swallowed sadness. “No, he didn’t tell me.”
Flaw softened. “Sorry.”
I swiped at my face, dispelling any sign of tears. “So, what was he planning?”
He’s dead. But he’s still here...holding me...guiding me.
Learning more about Jethro, even though he was gone, was awfully bittersweet.
Flaw looked behind him at the open door. His face shadowed, and for a moment, I thought he’d refuse to say, but then he lowered his voice. “Once everything was his, he planned on ripping up the contracts. Ending it.”
My eyes grew wide. “Forever?”
“Yup.”
“He would have that power?”
Flaw turned rigid, his thoughts obviously on topics he didn’t enjoy.
“Of course. He was a Hawk. They made the contract. They had the power to absolve it. Jethro planned to split up the estate equally between his brothers and sister and ban Cut and Bonnie from the grounds.” He rubbed his chin.
“I only know that because Kes told me in a couple of years they might not require the Club to transport shipments because the shipments would stop altogether.”
“He didn’t want to smuggle anymore, either?” Wow. All this time I’d grown close to Jethro, yet we’d never shared our future together. Never lain in bed and murmured about what we wanted or dreamed.
Because our future was bleak.
Death for me. Heartache for him. Why focus on a fantasy when the reality threatened to destroy us?
Flaw moved toward the door. “Would you continue doing something illegal when you had more money than you could ever spend in hundreds of lifetimes?” His eyes darkened with nostalgia for his friends.
“With the estate broken up, everyone could’ve gone their separate ways.
Kes planned to take a few years off and spend it in Africa injecting some of the money taken from its soil back to its people. ” He sighed. “Like I said, a good man.”
Placing his hand on the doorknob, he tilted his head. “Enough talking. They’ll be waiting. Better get you there before they suspect something.”
The cold steel of the blade wedged against my back. It gave me courage but couldn’t stop my sudden tremble. “Will you give me your word you’re not taking me somewhere for those psychopaths to hurt me?”
His jaw clenched. “I just told you insider information that could get me killed if you said anything. Doesn’t that deserve a little trust?”
“It does if it was said out of understanding rather than manipulation. I’ve fallen for the kind act far more times than I’m comfortable with.”
Flaw frowned. “Would it help to know I give you full permission to gut the next bastard who tries to hurt you?”
My heart stuttered. “Permission? You think I need your permission?” Moving toward him, I stood close enough to smell his spicy aftershave and leather from his jacket. “Give me something better than your permission, Flaw.”
He straightened. “Like what?”
“Like freedom.” I waved at the window. “I could’ve run. I could’ve somehow found my way to the boundary and vanished, but they have my brother. Bring V to me and we’ll go. I’ll take my family and disappear.”
And then I’ll come back and murder them in their sleep.
His eyes burned into mine. “You know I can’t do that.”
“So, all your talk of a better future and good men...that was what? Empty words?”
He scowled. “There are things going on that you don’t know about.”
I threw my hands up. “Oh, really? Funny, I’ve never heard that before.”
Once again, thoughts flickered over his face, secrets shadowing his eyes.
“If that’s true, tell me. What’s going on?”
He looked away. “I can’t answer that.”
I laughed morbidly. “No, of course, you can’t.”
“That’s not fair.”
My temper frayed, entirely unleashed. “That’s not fair?” I poked him in the chest. “What’s fair about me being subjected to more Hawk insanity? What’s fair about having the love of my life shot in front of me? What’s fair about waiting to die?!”
His hands fisted.
“You know what; I’m done.” Shaking my head, I brushed past him into the corridor. “Just take me to them like a good minion and get out of my sight.”
He growled under his breath. “Don’t judge me. Don’t judge my actions based on what you can’t see.” Stomping in front of me, he said over his shoulder, “I know who I am, and I know what I do is right.”
Animosity flared between us.
I stayed silent, following him down the corridor toward the wing where I’d spent most time with Kestrel.
We passed the room where he’d given me the Weaver Journal and headed into the hall where the library was located.
My mind flickered back to the afternoon he’d found me, asking if Jethro had been to see me since completing the First Debt.