Nila #2
Taking a deep breath, I re-entered the land of the living. I moaned in discomfort as I stood. My knees creaked while my spine realigned from kneeling on the floor like a pew at worship, slowly working my way through a temple of boxes.
I didn’t believe in ghosts walking amongst us but I couldn’t deny the truth.
They were there.
Crying for me. Rejoicing for me. Celebrating the end even though they’d paid the greatest price.
They loved me. They thanked me.
And it layered me with shame and ultimately pride.
Pride for breaking tradition.
Pride for keeping my oath.
They’d died.
I hadn’t.
I lived.
* * * * *
I found Jethro outside.
The sun had long ago set and winter chill howled over the manicured gardens, lamenting around the turrets and edges of Hawksridge Hall.
I’d had the foresight to grab warmer clothes before embarking on finding fresh air and huddled deeper into my jacket, letting the sling take the weight of my cast. Tugging the faux fur of my hood around my ears, I wished I’d brought gloves for my rapidly frost-bitten fingers.
Jethro looked up as my sheepskin-lined boots crunched across the gravel and skirted the boxed hedgerow. Wings and Moth stood in the distance, blotting the horizon, cloaked in blankets.
As I’d made my way through the Hall, I’d seen silhouettes of people outside. I’d recognised Jethro’s form. I wanted to join them—be around real people after dusty apparitions.
And now, I’d not only found Jethro but everyone I loved and cared for.
On the large expanse of lawn stood my new family. Jasmine, Vaughn, Jethro, and Tex. They all stood around a mountainous pile of branches, interspersed with the Ducking Stool and Iron Chair and other items I never wanted to see again.
Ducking my head into the breeze, I patrolled over the grass. My hood whipped back, and I caught the eye of Jasmine.
She gave me a smile, holding out her hand.
I took it.
Her fingers were popsicles, but she squeezed mine as I bent over and kissed her cheek. We didn’t need to talk. We understood. She’d lost her brothers and father. I’d lost my mother. Together, we would stand and not buckle beneath the tears.
In the distance, the south gardens glittered with rapidly forming dew-frost, glittering like nature’s diamonds on leaves and blades of grass.
Jethro skirted the large tinderbox of firewood, pausing beside his sister with a large log in his hands.
His eyes glowed in the darkness, his lips hiding white teeth.
“I won’t ask what happened. And I won’t pry unless you want to share.
But I built this for them. For you. For what lives in that room. ”
He dropped his gaze, awkwardly stroking the log. “I don’t know if you’ll want to say goodbye this way, but I just thought—” He shrugged. “I thought I’d make a fire, just in case.”
I didn’t say a word.
I let go of Jasmine, flew around her chair, and slammed into his arms.
He dropped the wood and embraced me tightly. I didn’t care my brother and father watched. All I cared about was thanking this man. This Hawk. Because now he’d let himself be the person I always knew he could be, I couldn’t stop falling more and more in love with him.
His lips warmed my frozen ear, kissing me sweetly. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, nuzzling closer, inhaling the pine sap and earthy tones from collecting firewood.
“I’m better.” I gathered my thoughts before whispering, “When you left me in there, I couldn’t move.
I truly didn’t like you very much. But you were right.
Thank you for giving me that time. For knowing what I needed, even when I didn’t. ”
He hugged me harder. “Anything for you, you know that.”
I shivered as another howl swept over the treetops. The night would be bitterly cold, but soon there would be something to warm us.
Pulling away, I smiled at my twin standing with his arms crossed and a bitter look on his face. Eventually, I would have to talk to him and tell him Jethro would be his brother-in-law. He would have to accept him. Tex, too.
I asked far more than they could offer—to love the son of the man who’d stolen Tex’s wife and our mother—but that was life.
The heart had the incredible capacity to heal wrongs. And I wouldn’t apologise for betraying my family name with Jethro. I’d chosen him. And if they couldn’t accept that...well, I didn’t want to think about it. Not tonight.
Jethro tucked flying hair behind my ears and pulled up my hood. “Are you ready?”
I rested my face in his palm, reaching on tiptoes to kiss his wind-bitten lips. “I’m ready.”
Taking my hand, he kissed my knuckles. “In that case, let’s put the past behind us.”
* * * * *
It took us an hour and a half to lug the boxes from upstairs to the bonfire outside.
We formed an assembly line, a never-ending factory of willing hands to transport.
Jethro joined me in the room, respectfully gathering files and packing them into boxes. I’d left the space in a mess, but together, we created neat piles so Vaughn and Tex could carry them downstairs.
Jasmine stayed on the lawn, willingly accepting the items on her lap and wheeling them across the grass to the unlit bonfire.
The last box to go down was full of my mother’s time at the Hall. I blinked back tears as I handed it awkwardly to my father.
He knew with one look what the paperwork entailed. His face echoed with heartbreak as he cradled the heavy package and took it downstairs himself. He didn’t transfer it to Vaughn. He didn’t let go. Hugging his wife’s spirit one last time.
Once he’d gone, and the room stood empty, Jethro popped into the corridor and spoke to V.
“Can you give us a minute?”
Vaughn looked past him, his black eyes meeting mine. “You okay, Threads?”
I came forward, my heart beating faster. “I’m okay. I’ll see you down there.” I gave him a half-smile. “Don’t start without us.”
He scowled. “You know I wouldn’t.”
I sighed. We had a long way to go to be able to joke with one another again without a filament of mistrust and pain cloaking everything. “I know, V. Stupid joke.” Brushing past Jethro, I gathered my twin in my arms.
He buckled, his spine rolling and strong arms wrapping around me.
He shuddered as we stood there and squeezed.
The past ten days had been good for us. We’d spent time together, skirting true issues, but I had a feeling after tonight, we’d have nothing keeping us apart and could finally talk through the events and find our closeness once again.
Letting me go, he smiled. He’d let a slight beard creep over his chin, dark and rich, making him seem exotic and untameable. “Love you, Threads.”
“Love you more.” I patted his chest. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
Vaughn nodded and disappeared down the staircase. Once he’d gone, I entered the room and waited while Jethro silently closed the door.
My heart went from fast paced to flurrying. “What are you doing?”
Jethro grimaced, striding to a filing cabinet and shoving it to the side. “There’s one more box you haven’t seen. One I hid.”
I ghosted forward. “You hid it? Why?”
Dropping to his knees, he ran his fingernails around a wooden panel in the wainscoting. Popping open a hidden compartment, he shuffled back to pull out a dust-smeared box. This one didn’t match the other drab brown ones. This one was white and narrow with the initials E.W. on top.
My heart flew into my throat.
Jethro stood up, supporting the box and swatting at dust motes on his jeans. “I hid it because I was asked to by someone I cared about.”
Moving toward the table, he placed the offering in the centre. “She asked me to give this to you. She knew I’d come for you once she was gone, but she also knew I was different.”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t take my eyes off the carton. “Different?”
“She caught me one day. She caught me before I had the chance to have another lesson. She didn’t fully understand what I was, but she guessed enough that it made her trust me. I wanted to tell her not to be so stupid. I was still my father’s son. But she didn’t give me a choice.
“She told me I would fall in love with you. She told me you would win. She also told me that if I let you help me, everything could be different.”
A tear glassed my vision then spilled over. Talking about my mother, learning new memories I didn’t share was wondrous as well as bittersweet.
I didn’t notice I’d moved forward until my fingers traced her initials. “She told you all of that?”
Jethro chuckled quietly. “She told me a lot of things. She also told Kes. I think she preferred him over me—he was the one everyone fell in love with—but she trusted us with different tasks.”
I finally met his eyes, tearing mine from the box. “What did she make you do?”
Jethro nodded at the table. “She wanted me to keep this safe for you. She said one day, I would find the right time to give this to you. And when I did, she hoped it meant things hadn’t gone the way they had for her. That you’d won.
“At the time, I almost hated her for being so cocky and sure. I hated I’d come across weak enough that she dare predict my future.
But at the same time, I loved her for seeing things in me I hadn’t even permitted myself to see.
I loved she thought I was worthy of your love.
I loved that she wanted me to take you because, ultimately, she knew I’d lose and you’d win and together we’d fight. ”
I struggled to breathe as more tears joined the first. I wanted to ask so many questions. I wanted Jethro to regale me of every time he’d conversed with my mother. I wanted to hoard his memories as my own and build a picture of her strength after she’d been taken from us.
But I didn’t want to rush something so precious. Another time. Another night. When people weren’t waiting to say goodbye.
Sucking in a breath, I asked quietly, “And Kes? What was his task?”
Jethro’s face tightened with pain. “You already know. He completed his promise within days of you being with us.” His eyes narrowed, willing me to recall.