Jethro
“YOU SURE YOU want to do this?” I eyed Jasmine as Vaughn manhandled our gentlest horse from its box. The grooms had already combed, saddled, and prepared six mounts.
I’d planned this day for the past week.
I wanted it to be perfect.
“Stop asking me that. Yes, I’m sure.” Jasmine wheeled herself awkwardly over the cobblestones, her wheels catching and stalling on the uneven surface.
But she didn’t complain. Not once did she curse or lament.
Her disability had finally been accepted and she no longer hid away in the house, regretting the life she would never have.
Her acceptance had come from a multitude of things. Vaughn Weaver’s unwavering attention had been one of those things but so had Kes’s death. His passing at such a young age shook all of us. Yes, she’d lost the use of her legs but she hadn’t lost her life like our brother.
“Lead her over there.” I pointed V at the already erected platform I’d had the Hawksridge carpenters create.
Originally, I’d planned to put Jasmine in a carriage, safely protected by walls and wheels. But the moment I told her the plan, she argued. She used to ride a lot with Kes and me when we were younger. She wanted to share one last ride with him...before he was gone.
I’d done my best to persuade her but she was damn stubborn when her mind was set.
I didn’t interfere as Vaughn did his best to guide Claret to the mounting block. However, the Roan had other ideas—hay being her main focus.
Vaughn cursed under his breath, doing his best to yank the mare forward. “Come on, you bloody animal.”
Christ, at this rate we wouldn’t get out of the stables until dark.
Nila laughed as I stormed forward and grabbed the reins. Taking responsibility for the horse, I pointed Vaughn to a new task. “Help my sister up the ramp. I’ll move Claret into position.”
Tex entered the stable. His eyes darted from the horse to Jasmine in her chair. He wisely didn’t mention her safety and focused on his own discomfort instead. Rubbing the back of his nape, he said, “You sure I have to be on a nag? Can’t I follow on foot?”
Nila went to her father and looped her arm through his. “Kes would’ve wanted us all there. Please, do it for me. We need to honour his final goodbye.” Pecking his cheek, Nila smiled, completely winning over her father within moments.
Try saying no to her.
Hell, I couldn’t.
Hiding my smugness, I let my condition fan out.
Tex still confused me. He’d stood up for his daughter in the end.
He’d helped put an end to our family’s madness, but inside, he still wallowed in self-hatred and guilt.
That guilt ate at him like acid. If he didn’t find a way to forgive himself—he’d be dealing with his own mortality in the form of sickness.
Tearing my eyes from Nila and her father, I marched forward. Swatting the mare with the tips of the reins, she plodded onward, submitting to my direction as I led her around the newly-erected ramp.
Vaughn grabbed Jasmine’s chair. Almost shyly, he tucked her jaw-length hair behind her ear before hurtling her like a fucking rocket up the ramp.
Goddammit.
“Shit!” Jasmine grabbed the handrails, ferocity etching her face.
“Just thought I’d make sure you were awake.” Vaughn chuckled.
“Yes, well, I’d like to keep awake and not dead for as long as I possibly can.” Her fake anger couldn’t hide her enjoyment that Vaughn didn’t treat her like a china doll.
Unfortunately, her emotions couldn’t lie. Her heart skipped a beat whenever that damn Weaver was around.
Nila came to stand by me, her delicate hand landing on my wrist. “Stop scowling. I know what you’re thinking.”
I didn’t look at her. The more time she spent with me, the more she could read me. She might not be able to keep secrets from me, but I couldn’t keep them from her, either. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She smiled. “Yes, you do.” Her eyes shouted: My brother likes your sister.
I clenched my jaw, ignoring her.
Claret stomped, tossing her head as Vaughn bumped her going around to the front of Jasmine’s chair. His eyes locked on Jaz’s. “Remember the last time you asked me to be your legs?”
Jaz cocked her head, her gaze flickering to me. “Yes.”
“Did I drop you?”
She frowned. “No.”
“Good, so you trust me?”
Her tongue swept over her bottom lip. Fuck, she was flirting with him. “Perhaps.”
“That’s good enough, I guess.” Bending, he smiled. “Put your arms around my shoulders.”
My stomach knotted, wanting to tell him to be careful, but Jaz immediately looped her arms around him and allowed him to scoop her useless legs from the chair.
I’d never seen Jaz so open to trusting someone she hadn’t vetted and investigated within an inch of the law before. Yet she accepted Vaughn so easily.
Holding her in his arms, he completely forgot about the rest of us and the over-packed stable.
I coughed deliberately.
Vaughn grinned not giving an arse what I thought. Murmuring in her ear, he carefully placed Jasmine on Claret. Her useless legs wouldn’t straddle the horse, but Vaughn held her aloft so Jaz could grab her jodhpurs and sling herself into position.
Once Jaz sat on the horse, she nodded. “You can let me go now.”
V did as she requested, looking at me for instruction.
Leaving Nila, I climbed the ramp and checked the girth was tight, Jaz’s legs were anchored and buckled to the custom saddle, and her balance was correct. The pommel came up extra high and the back of the saddle cradled her back with cushioning and a seatbelt.
She’d have to be careful of sores and bruises as she wouldn’t be able to feel but she was as safe as she could be on a beast.
“Ready for your first ride?”
I’d never seen Jaz’s eyes so bright. The thought of doing something she’d given up granted a smidgen of magic on this melancholy day. “Never been more ready.”
Fighting my brotherly protectiveness, I passed her the reins. “You sure?”
Her lips pursed as she stole the leather. “Positive.”
Giving her a dressage whip, I climbed down the ramp. The whip was longer than a hunting version and meant she could encourage Claret to move without having to kick or twist.
Moving toward Wing’s stall, I stopped dead as Nila came out of Moth’s enclosure already sitting on the dapple grey.
So many times in the past fortnight I’d thought of Kes. Pictured him still living and joking and teasing. Laughing. Filling the holes of our lives with antidotes only he could.
But my brother was gone and his horse, who he so generously gave to Nila, remained.
My heart skipped a beat as Nila pulled to a stop, her eyes drowning with love. For me. Love...something I never thought I’d earn.
I marched to the side of the large dapple and grabbed her wrist. “Kiss me.”
The one sentence that started it all. The command that broke my every resolve.
Nila smiled softly. “When you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?” Bending in her saddle, I stood on my toes to reach her delicious mouth.
It wasn’t a slow kiss or even erotic. Just a quick affirmation we belonged to each other and always would.
Reluctantly, I let her go. Vaughn had managed to help Tex climb onto a large Clydesdale called Bangers and Mash, and a stable hand in turn helped V clamber on top of a newer addition to the stables called Apricot.
“Head on out, everyone. I’ll catch up.”
Jaz obeyed, flicking her whip and urging Claret forward. A procession disappeared out the barn. Tex followed gingerly, his hands tight on the reins while V chuckled, shaking his head at his father’s nervousness.
Their lack of skills was what happened when you worked in a factory all your life.
Now Nila was mine, I intended to share.
I wanted to show her Hawksridge.
I wanted to teach her how to play polo.
I wanted her to help me run the empire of diamonds and run so many facets of my world.
I also wanted to enter hers.
I wanted to travel with her on her runway shows.
I wanted to watch her sew and spend hours just sitting beside her as she crafted exquisite designs from nothing.
I want everything.
Moth snorted as Nila prevented her from following the others into the sunshine. “Do you want me to stay?”
My insides glowed with affection. “No, I’ll only be a minute.”
Swatting Moth on the rump, I sent Nila out to join our family. Retrieving my important requirement, I headed to Wings and secured the saddlebag to the pommel. “Ready, boy?”
Wings snorted, his eyes black and endless.
“I’m not, either.” I pressed my forehead against his silky neck, just like I had whenever my condition got too bad and needed space from life. “I don’t want to say goodbye but at least this way, he’s still with us.”
Swinging my leg over his immense side, I kicked him and followed the others.
* * * * *
“This is the place.” I pulled on my reins, bringing Wings to a stop.
For an hour, we’d trekked through woodland and glens over chases and riverbeds of Hawksridge Estate. The moment Kes's Will had been read, I’d known what his instructions would be.
We’d had such happy times here. Away from our father and obligation. Away from even our sister. Just us and the wilderness.
“It’s stunning.” Nila came up beside me. Moth’s breathing caused plumes of condensation in the chilly winter air.
Jasmine encouraged Claret to move further up the ridge, looking down the valley to where a small village rested in the distance. Hawksridge Hall couldn’t be seen from here. That was why Kes and I had liked it.
Sitting at night, wrapped up in sleeping bags and roasting marshmallows on a fire, we used to watch the twinkling lights of the village and conjure stories for what each person did.
We pretended we lived hundreds of years ago.
Discussed and argued what sort of career we would’ve had.
I was adamant I would’ve been a horse farrier or black-smith.
There was something about hammering hot metal until it submitted that appealed to me.
Kes, on the other hand, wanted to be a carpenter.
Not because he liked to create things from trees but because he reckoned women preferred a man who knew how to use his wood.
I laughed under my breath, remembering his quips.
“You’re such a moron.” I fired a flaming marshmallow his way.
Kes ducked, swatting the gooey mess into the ground. His shaggy hair glistened with moonlight, while the horses munched contentedly on grass behind us. “Whatever, Jet.” Holding up his hands, he smirked. “These puppies were on Selena’s tits last week. She told me I had good hands.”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s probably never been touched by a guy before and had no one to compare you to.”
Kes scoffed. “I might only be sixteen, but I know how to please a girl.”
Sighing, I reclined in my sleeping bag, looking at the stars. “Well, she’d be lucky to have you.”
Kes shuffled closer, the crackle of the bonfire wrapping us in safety. “Same with you. You’ll meet someone who doesn’t just think of shopping and teenage girl idiocy one day. You’ll see.”
Lightening the mood, I snorted. “Perhaps, I should become a carpenter, too, so I know how to use my wood.”
We burst out laughing.
My heart filled with history as I left the past and returned to Nila. “Kes will be happy here.”
Nila nodded, her eyes glassing a little.
More horse hooves thudded over the hill as Tex and Vaughn finally caught up. They’d handled the trek well, allowing their horses to follow us.
Twisting in my saddle, I opened the bag and collected the urn that held my brother’s ashes.
Jasmine moved closer, her lips twisting against the urge to cry. I smiled, reminding her to be happy and not dwell on what we’d lost. “Do you want to say it?”
“No. You. I think you should be the one.”
Taking a deep breath, I unscrewed the lid of the copper urn and held it aloft.
“To our brother. Every wind that rustles, we’ll remember you.
Every leaf that falls, we’ll think of you.
Every sunrise, we’ll recall the times we shared.
And every sunset, we’ll value all that we’ve been given.
This is not goodbye; this is a ‘see you soon.’”
My hands shook as my chest compressed with sadness. Nila wiped away a tear and Jasmine swallowed a sob. Their emotions swelled with mine, threatening to avalanche with despair.
Needing to say a private goodbye, I kicked Wings forward and shot into a gallop. The ridgeline spread before me as I let my horse fly.
I let him gallop as fast as he could.
I let him carry me away.
And, as the thunder of his hooves blotted out the black hole of grief, I tipped the urn and sprinkled Kes’s last remains.
The grey dust clouded behind me, whirling in the breeze, spiralling in the wind.
Goodbye, brother.
The wind picked up, encouraging the grey cloud to plume and soar down the valley, becoming one with the countryside.
My family had owned this estate for almost six-hundred years. It held many souls. Had seen many events. And witnessed many evolutions. My brother would remain its watcher and warrior—guarding Nila and my new family forever.
As Wings slowed, I looked at the sun and smiled.
The urn was empty.
Kestrel was gone.
From bone to ash.
From blood to dust.
His body had vanished, but I knew he still lived.
And we would meet again.
We would laugh again.
We would be brothers again.