Chapter 52
BELLA
I can’t sleep because I can’t stop crying. I haven’t been this bad since Dad died. I didn’t even stop to look at Reggie when I got home. Although, I figured he needs time to lick his wounds.
My mind is swirling. The mess I’m creating. And there’s one person who this impacts.
Theo.
This alliance is important to him. I grab my phone; the light in the darkness makes my eyes burn, and I call him.
“Bella,” he says cautiously.
I sniffle. “Theo.”
“Tell me who I need to kill.”
I can’t help but giggle. As annoying as my brothers are, I fucking love them to death.
“No. It’s not that. I just need to speak to you, I miss being at home.”
“Bella… You never were home, don’t bullshit me.”
“How important is this alliance? Like, if, let’s say, hypothetically, Reggie refuses to marry me.”
“Jesus fuck. Bella. What’s happened?”
I roll onto my side with a huff.
“He upset me. I upset him worse, I think. And then his brother too.”
There’s a pause.
“Bella… I don’t do riddles. The whole story, please.”
“I kinda fell for him and his brother.”
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“That actually isn’t the bad part.”
“Sorry, what? Reggie doesn’t mind you, um.”
“Yeah, let’s not get descriptive and weird. No. He was okay.”
“So?”
“Would the alliance still stand if I married Rowan?”
I close my eyes. I don’t want to pick. I don’t want to give up on Reggie. But that look in his eye earlier told me he’d given up.
“I can speak to Declan. I’m sure it would be fine. Is that what you want?”
A sob escapes me.
“I-I don’t know what I want, Theo,” I whisper.
“You have a little time.”
“Two weeks? Two weeks to work out who my husband is.”
He chuckles.
“Bel. I’ve sat with you and watched dating shows where they get married on the first date. Come on, I know there’s a little romantic in there that believes in instant love.”
My heart hammers.
I do. But, for both of them, that’s the problem.
“I don’t want to wreck them, Theo. I’m hurting them, and I hate it.”
“It’s hurting you too, Bel. You always worry about everyone else, just maybe sit back and think about what you really want. Because you sound cut up about Reggie. Speak to him? Men are dumb when it comes to this, trust me.”
I can’t help but laugh. His love life is a shambles.
“So your suggestion is to pretend I’m on a dating show and see who wins?”
“Fuck knows. If that’s what you wanna take out of this conversation, then yeah… go for it. Just please, marry one of them.”
“I don’t say this enough, but I love you, Theo. I’m sorry for being such a brat with you guys.”
He clears his throat.
“Are you sure I’m speaking to Bella King?”
“Shut up. I’m trying to be nice.”
“I love you too, sis. Always. Get some sleep, tomorrow is a new day.”
When I wake up, I still feel like shit. I shove some serums on my face to try and make my eyes look less puffy, like I haven’t been crying all night. But, it’s no use.
Seeing Reggie and Rowan fight like that broke my heart.
Seeing Reggie walking out with that bitch attached to him also hurt.
I tiptoe down the stairs, not wanting to wake the beast. But as I round the corner, he’s sitting at the kitchen island nursing a coffee, staring at the clock on the wall.
He turns to face me and I don’t know where to look. He’s got cuts and bruises around his eye and a split lip.
I stop walking, I just freeze.
“I’m not gonna bite, Bella.”
I blow out a long breath and keep walking straight to the coffee machine, grabbing Rowan’s caramel syrup as I go. Keeping my back to Reggie. Tears threaten to fall again, and anger brews under the surface, picturing the moment he chose to protect Lyla over me.
Once my coffee is done, I turn to face him, he’s watching me closely, like he’s waiting for an attack.
“Did you fuck her?” I blurt out.
His expression doesn’t falter.
“No.”
I nod slowly.
“Want to explain why you were in a private room at a sex club with your ex?” I press, taking a casual sip of my coffee, as if those words didn’t just burn me.
“She wanted to talk to me.”
I laugh.
“Yeah, sure. Let me just get my phone, I’ll call some of my old fucks, see how you like that?”
His fists clench, his jaw tightens.
“Bella,” he warns.
I tilt my head.
“What? That’s fucking ridiculous. Do you really think I’m that stupid, Irish?”
He runs his tongue along his teeth.
“I never said that. I swear to you, I didn’t touch her. I would never. I was loyal to you.”
Ouch.
“Was?”
He runs his hand over his stubble and lets out a ragged breath.
“Rowan was right. I’m no good for you.”
Tears threaten to spill, but I take a deep breath to calm myself.
“That is bullshit and you know it.”
His eyes darken as he stands, the chair skidding across the marble.
“You don’t want me, Bella. That much is quite clear. I’m not fighting my brother again over this. I refuse to be the one to make you cry again.” He shakes his head as his voice breaks.
I step closer to him.
“So what? You’re not marrying me? The alliance is done, and I can just go home?”
My heart pounds, this can’t be happening. Theo needs this. Reggie needs this.
“We go back to how it was. Marriage on paper.”
I place my cup down softly on the side.
“That’s seriously what you want?” I ask.
I want him to fight for me. Scream at me that he didn’t mean anything he said yesterday. That he’s sorry.
Anything. Right now, I’m looking at the shell of the man I knew.
He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut. So I take another step.
“Look me dead in the eyes and tell me you don’t fucking want me, Reggie Murphy. Say the words and I’ll go. You’ll never see me again. I dare you. Say it.”
He rounds the kitchen island, stopping right in front of me. Chest heaving. Eyes darkening. And I look up at him. Button pressed.
“I know what you’re doing, Princess,” he mutters.
“Say it.”
“Bella. All this is doing is complicating things. I’m fucking this up.”
I push at his chest, he doesn’t move.
“Say it, Reggie,” I shout at him.
“Tell me you don’t want me. That’s why you picked protecting Lyla over me. That’s why you hit Rowan. You don’t want me.”
A growl erupts from his chest, his hand snatching my throat.
“Bella King. I want you. I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my goddamn life. You don’t give up, do you?”
I shake my head.
“If you wanted me, why didn’t you let me hit her? Why stop me?”
“Violence doesn’t solve everything, Bella. Sometimes you gotta be smarter. Pick your times and your enemies. Strike when it’s safe.”
My blood boils. He’s hiding something, I know it.
“Or, you didn’t want me to punch your side piece.”
A growl escapes him as he shoves me against the counter.
“So what? You get to do as you wish, and I can’t?”
My heart sinks, and I try to look away, but he holds me in place.
“Reggie. That’s… different. You know it is. And you know what I really want.”
His eyes go wide and he takes a deep breath.
“Please, don’t give up on me, Irish.”
He presses his forehead to mine and I close my eyes.
“I don’t think I could, no matter how hard I tried. Losing you would kill me.”
“Then don’t lose me, Reggie.”
The door slams shut, but he doesn’t release me. I hear Rowan’s footsteps approaching, but I don’t take my eyes off Reggie.
Time stands still.
This is where I want to be. Right here. With them.