Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Addison
Her arms physically ached to hold her girl and her boy as the door shut behind them with such finality it made her want to weep.
“Addison. Take a seat, please.”
With one last longing glance toward the office door, she settled herself in one of the chairs and met her boss’s stern gaze. “I’ll be out of the apartments by the end of the week. I have a few suggestions for my replacement, friends who are also in the lifestyle.”
Across from her, Derek frowned. “What the hell are you talking about, Addison?”
“My resignation.” And god, it hurt just to say those words. Almost as much as it hurt to walk away from her Little ones. “I apologize for the mess I’m leaving behind, but we both know it’s for the best if I go.”
“I know nothing of the sort.”
Of course he would be stubborn. “Derek, don’t be ridiculous. Look at what I’ve done to those sweet Littles. I don’t have any more business being a professor here than I have being their Mommy.”
“Well, on that, we agree.”
Insult stabbed at her, but she swallowed it down. Pushing up from her chair, she jerked her head in a nod. “Good. I’ll have my list of suggestions to you in the morning.”
“Sit down, Professor Renard.”
Now annoyance rose up to mingle with hurt and grief and guilt. “There’s nothing you can say to me I haven’t already said to myself, Derek. I know I fucked up.”
“Again, we agree. But clearly not in the way you think.”
“Then please, enlighten me, dear leader.”
One dark brow raised at her snark, but he didn’t call her on it. “You have just as much business being here as a professor as you do being their Mommy, because you belong in both those roles.”
“How can you say that? You heard Danny. I broke their hearts.”
“Yeah. You did. But only because you were so determined to break your own, first.”
Irritation crawled up her spine. “Could we have this conversation without speaking in riddles?”
“All right.” Rising from his chair, he rounded the desk to stand in front of her. But in his eyes she didn’t see the recrimination she’d been expecting.
She only found an understanding that made her chest ache.
“From the moment you called me, claiming you couldn’t deal with Kylie and Danny because they were Littles, I had a feeling we were going to end up here.
” He held up a hand to cut off her response.
“Not because you aren’t a good Mommy, but because you’ve let yourself believe a lie for so long that you’ve internalized it as truth.
Addison, what happened with Deanna wasn’t solely your fault.
Did you screw up, as a lover, as her Mommy?
I’m sure. But the thing is, we all mess up from time to time.
I’ve spent years watching you, observing how you interact with your students and the submissives you’ve played with in the Dungeon. And do you know what I’ve seen?”
“What?”
“A woman who cares deeply about the people she’s responsible for. An excellent communicator, an incredible Domme, and a kind, loving person. All traits of a really great Mommy.”
“But I broke them,” she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. “I tried so hard and I still broke them.”
“Because you were too scared to love them the way all three of you deserve. What do you think would have happened if you’d stayed in that hotel in Bozeman? If you’d actually talked to them instead of just walking away?”
“I… don’t know.” Which was, she had to admit, more than a little humbling to confess.
“Neither do I. But if I had to guess, you would have fought some, Danny probably would have said some more uncomfortable things. And then you would have apologized for not listening and he would have apologized for the things he said. You would have given Kylie the cuddles and reassurance she needed and then you would have sent them back to the Ranch with red, sore bottoms because regardless of how good Danny’s intentions were he still broke the rules you gave him. ”
“Maybe.” Despite the fact she could see that scene in her head so fucking clearly, she dug her heels in. “And then it would have just been a matter of time before I hurt them again.”
“Addison.” Sighing heavily, Derek rubbed at a spot between his eyes. “Are you under the impression that being a good Mommy means never making mistakes?”
“Of course not. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Then why are you so determined to keep paying for yours?”
She opened her mouth to argue, then snapped it shut again. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe because you don’t think you deserve those two very sweet Littles who absolutely adore you?”
Well, duh. “I don’t deserve them.”
“They seem to disagree. Are you saying their opinions, their wants and needs don’t matter?”
Shock had her staring up at him. “Of course not!”
“Okay. So give them what they want, Addison. Be the Mommy they need instead of breaking their hearts. Because they deserve that kind of love. And so do you.”
“But what happens when I break them again, Derek? They don’t deserve that.”
With another sigh, he straightened and moved to the door. “Danny, Kylie, come in here please.”
Her heart tripped in her chest when her Little loves hurried into the room.
Kylie’s mouth was ringed with powdered sugar, making her look even more like the sweet Little girl she was.
Danny’s face was clean, but his expression was uncertain, like he wasn’t quite sure what was going to come next, and she was surprised by how strong the urge was to wrap her arms around him, to assure him everything would be fine.
“Kylie. Yesterday morning at the hotel, how were you feeling after your talk with Addison?” Derek asked.
“Um.” Cheeks reddening, Kylie shifted from foot to foot. “Sad, mostly.”
“Why were you sad, sweetheart?”
“Because I knew we’d messed up really bad and I knew Mo—Addison was upset we broke the rules.” Tears glimmered on her lashes. “We’re really sorry, Ma’am. I wish you would have let us tell you how sorry we were instead of leaving.”
Confused, Addison looked from Kylie to Danny and back again. “You weren’t angry with me?”
“No.” Kylie’s sugar-coated mouth dipped down into a frown. “Why would I be angry with you when we were the ones who broke the rules?”
“Because I wouldn’t let you explain. I didn’t… You needed me, and I just sent you to take a shower.”
“Well, yeah, but you didn’t know that. We should have called or texted or something so you’d know the full story. But we didn’t and that was on us.”
“But… Danny…”
“I was mad because Kylie was sad,” Danny said softly. “And if we’re being honest, I’m probably always going to be that way. Kylie’s my best friend, and I’m always going to be a bit overprotective of her. That doesn’t mean I wanted you to go away.”
“You said I broke her. Like I broke Deanna.”
Understanding dawned on his face. And then he was on his knees in front of her, his expression so earnest it made her ache. “No. No, that’s not what I meant at all. I’m so sorry, Addison, that was a horribly thoughtless thing for me to say. Can you forgive me?”
“Oh, my sweet boy. There’s nothing to forgive. I’m the one who owes you both an apology for not giving you a chance to explain, for not sticking when things got uncomfortable. I’m so, so sorry, my loves.”
Rising up on his knees, Danny threw his arms around her, his entire body shaking as he pressed himself against her. Still pressed against the wall, Kylie was watching them, uncertainty stamped all over her gorgeous face.
“Does this mean you wanna be our Mommy again?”
“I don’t think I ever truly stopped, little dove. Come here.”
And then both her loves were in her arms again, tearful apologies and promises for better behavior filling the air.
They were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, and they all looked up at the stern-faced owner of Rawhide.
“I’m very glad you’ve all made up. And since Addison has taken her rightful place as your Mommy again, I’m going to trust her to give you the punishment you deserve, Ms. Nichols.
But if you ever put your hands on anyone else while you are on my Ranch, you will be feeling the sting of my paddle on your bare bottom on top of whatever punishment your Mommy sees fit to give you.
Am I making myself completely clear, Kylie Anne? ”
“Y-yes, Sir.” Sniffling, eyes watery, Kylie nodded miserably. “I’m really sorry about the swan.”
“Ah, yes, the swan. I will be speaking with Chef Angel about an appropriate punishment. He and his Little girl have a shop up on the Ridge and they could always use more help. And the kitchen here is always in need of extra hands. I will let your Mommy know what we decide.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“All right. You’re all dismissed.”
Mind racing, Addison ushered her boy and her girl out of the office back into the lobby. The mess from earlier had been cleaned up already, and if she hadn’t been there she would have been shocked to learn anything had even happened.
But it had, and it was her job to teach her naughty Littles the errors of their ways. So even though all she really wanted to do was take them back to her apartment and spend the day loving on them, she forced her expression into stern lines.
“All right, my loves. We have some things to discuss.”
Kylie
Standing with her nose pressed into an empty corner of her Mommy’s apartment, Kylie tried not to fidget as she listened to Addison move around behind them, preparing… Well, Kylie wasn’t sure exactly what she was preparing, but she was pretty sure it didn’t bode well for her backside.
So sure, in fact, that when Mommy called for them, she hesitated.
“Kylie Anne. Do you think this is a good time to be ignoring your Mommy?”
That got her moving. Spinning away from the corner, she hurried over to join Danny, standing in front of the couch facing their Mommy.
Approval lit Addison’s emerald eyes. “Good girl. Come here, please.”
Already? No lecture or anything?
Confused, Kylie stepped forward—and was immediately pulled down to sit on her Mommy’s lap.