Chapter 11
Emma
Ifelt like a new woman a few hours later as I sat on the massive bed in the master bedroom of Wyatt’s private jet.
My best friend, Sara, had packed some things for me and sent them with Brock and Nate.
She’d included everything I could have wanted…clean clothing, my summer nightgown, my toothbrush, some of my favorite lotions, and my makeup bag.
As soon as we’d reached cruising altitude, I’d headed for the luxurious bathroom attached to the master bedroom.
I’d washed my shoulder-length hair more than once and scrubbed my entire body at least three times.
For the first time in days, I felt clean.
I’d probably never take that feeling for granted again.
Colin and I had eaten with Brock and Nate before we’d taken off on separate flights, so my belly was full.
I was thoroughly exhausted, but my mind was still racing with a million different thoughts.
However, every one of those thoughts left my head as Colin walked out of the bathroom after his shower.
He was wearing a pair of jeans but no shirt.
Dear God, how was it possible that he still had a droolworthy body in his fifties?
His six-pack abs were still pronounced, and his chiseled shoulders, chest, and arms were ridiculous.
My heart skipped a beat as he shot me a questioning look, probably because I was staring at him like an idiot.
I forced my gaze away from him, but it wasn’t easy.
I’d always thought that Colin was the sexiest man on Earth, and that certainly hadn’t changed.
Even after fourteen years, it was hard for me to look at him and not want him naked.
I ached to touch him, but I had to remind myself that all of that was in our past.
We were different people now.
“What exactly does a Last Hope advisor do?” I asked curiously, trying to get my mind off my lingering attraction to Colin.
I hadn’t seen him in fourteen years, so it was probably normal that I associated Colin with incredible sex.
He had been the man who had taught me that I was more than capable of feeling desire and passion on a whole different level.
“It means I’ll be in your life for a while,” Colin answered as he reached into a duffle bag to grab a clean T-shirt.
“I’ll be there whenever you want to talk or if you have any issues from the kidnapping.
We’ll be in touch even after I leave Cherry Cove.
Sometimes it takes a while to heal from emotional trauma, and things come up later.
If you need it, I’ll put you in contact with a counselor that can help you more than I can.
We have some psychologists that specialize in victims of traumatic events who work with Last Hope and keep our secrets. ”
“Right now, I just feel exhausted,” I told Colin honestly.
“Probably because you haven’t slept much in days,” he replied. “You need to get some rest, Emma. We can talk more tomorrow. I’ll bed down in one of the recliners.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to do that. You need to rest, too, and this bed is enormous.”
For some reason I really didn’t want Colin out of my sight.
“Please?” I added. “I’ll feel safer if you’re closer.”
Now that my body was calming down from the overload of adrenaline, I felt a little vulnerable.
I didn’t want to be needy, but I really didn’t want to be alone tonight.
“That’s pretty normal, Emma,” Colin said as he tossed the shirt aside without putting it on. “I’ll sleep here if that’s what you need.”
I let out a sigh of relief as I slid under the covers and put my head on the pillow.
It felt absolutely amazing to actually be in a very comfortable bed again.
I watched as Colin pulled the covers back on his side of the bed.
“You’re not going to sleep in your jeans,” I commented as he looked like he was about to slide into bed.
“I am,” he said hoarsely. “My leg isn’t a pretty sight, and I don’t inflict that sight on anyone except myself.”
“No,” I said empathically. “You won’t be comfortable. I don’t care what your leg looks like. Don’t be silly.”
He shot me a disgruntled look. “Nobody has ever called me silly.”
I didn’t doubt that.
Colin was a serious man most of the time, and I was sure he was respected by his peers.
However, he was being silly.
He never used pajamas.
He slept in his underwear or in the raw.
There was no way he was going to sleep well in heavy jeans.
“I don’t care what your leg looks like. I want you to sleep comfortably. Take the jeans off.”
“Fine,” he said in an irritated voice. “I’m turning the light off.”
“Don’t,” I insisted. “I think it’s time that you rip off the Band-Aid and let someone see your leg.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Colin. You did something incredibly brave and selfless, and you were injured doing it.
It’s not something ugly that can’t be seen by the people who care about you.
I’m definitely not going to judge. I’ve changed, too. ”
“Not this much,” he grumbled as he finally popped the button on his jeans. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Watching Colin take off his clothes wasn’t new for me, but my breath caught as he kicked out of the denim.
The scarring was significant, and it twisted my heart in my chest as I realized just how much this man had been through because of his injuries.
He was wearing a pair of black boxer briefs. It looked like the scarring probably started on his upper thigh and continued to his ankle. His knee was slightly misshapen, probably due to his many surgeries to try to fix his leg.
Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them back.
It was a horrible sight, but not for the reasons he imagined.
It killed me to think of how much pain Colin had been through with his injury.
It wasn’t ugly.
It was part of Colin now, and there was nothing about this man that could ever be ugly to me.
“Thank you,” I said softly as Colin slipped into bed and turned off the light.
“For what?” he said in a defensive voice.
“For letting me be the person you trusted enough to take your pants off,” I said sincerely. “Don’t be ashamed of those scars. They’re part of who you are now. I hate the pain that injury must have put you through for a long time.”
“It happened a long time ago, Emma,” he said gruffly. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m fine.”
Ugh! I hated it when Colin acted like an impenetrable fortress that no one could breach.
It had gotten worse than it had been years ago.
At one time, he’d been capable of smiling when he was happy, and he’d been able to let some of those walls down at times.
Now, I doubted he let anyone see the real Colin Marshall.
The only time he’d shown a hint of emotion was when he thought I was uncomfortable in some way.
After his injury, he’d built up those walls brick by brick until no one could see the incredible man he really was.
What in the hell had happened to his teasing and his wicked sense of humor?
I knew that man was still there, but I couldn’t quite reach him.
I could sense it.
Colin really hadn’t changed. He’d just learned to contain the man he used to be.
He’d always been overly serious, gruff, and contemplative, but he’d taken that to a whole different level.
However, he had put his own life at risk to save me, and I was determined to return the favor by bringing out the parts of Colin that were hidden away from everyone.
“If no one has seen your leg, does that mean you have sex with your clothes on?” I asked jokingly.
“No,” he answered roughly.
“In the dark then?” I questioned.
“Not in the dark,” he said in a frustrated voice. “I haven’t been with a woman since our fling. There isn’t a woman on the planet who would want to be close to me after seeing my leg.”
Not once?
Not a single female since he and I had been together?
How was that even possible?
I hadn’t been with another guy since Colin, either, but it was hard for me to believe he hadn’t had sex in fourteen years.
He was a virile man with a very healthy sexual appetite.
“Of course women would want to get close to you,” I said as I moved until my body was plastered against his and my head was on his chest. “You’re a beautiful man, Colin.”
God, did he really think his leg would take away from his overall attractiveness?
His entire body stiffened for a moment before it finally relaxed and he wrapped an arm around me protectively.
“You’re insane if you really believe that,” he rumbled.
“I really believe it, and I’m not crazy,” I retorted.
I was still insanely attracted to Colin, just like I’d been years ago.
Yes, I realized that our short relationship had ended a long time ago, and that the attraction couldn’t go anywhere, but it was still there.
The truth was, I’d just never felt that kind of attraction again after Colin, which was one of the reasons I’d never been able to be with another man.
I’d tried dating a few times, but none of those first dates had ever turned into a second.
I let out a small sigh as Colin stroked a hand through my hair to comfort me.
“Sleep, Emma,” he said soothingly. “You haven’t gotten any decent sleep since the kidnapping.”
My eyes closed, and I felt a profound sense of peace way down to my soul.
I felt safe here in Colin’s arms, and that was something I hadn’t felt since the kidnapping.
I was exhausted and worn out, my body totally depleted.
Right now, I felt like I was exactly where I belonged.
I knew I couldn’t let myself get used to being this close to Colin, but for right now, while I still felt vulnerable, I was going to revel in it.
For the first time in days, my body completely relaxed.
“That’s right,” Colin said gently. “Relax and sleep. I’ll take care of you, Emma.”
“I’m a grown woman,” I said sleepily. “It’s not your job to take care of me.”
“It is my job,” he answered in a gruff voice. “I’m your advisor. I’m here to give you whatever you need.”
Colin had no idea what my needs were when it came to him. If he did, he wouldn’t have just offered to give me whatever I needed.
Dammit! I was going to have to get over my intense physical attraction to this man.
That was the last thought that drifted through my mind before I fell into the deep, healing sleep that my body desperately needed.