Chapter 1
Chapter One
Present Day
Jackson
T here’s nothing quite like the thrill of a structure fire with no threat to life. Sure, there’s some risk, but it’s the personal kind. Not the kind that means I’ve gotta be the fastest in and fastest out because someone else will suffer the consequences of my failure.
And personal risk? It’s my favorite. When the odds are stacked against me, and I am not totally in control of the situation. It’s those moments that remind me I’m alive.
Calls like this one, just me and my partner kicking ass, battling a beast and winning—these are rare and awesome.
“Woo,” I yell into the raging inferno. “I fucking love this job.”
Fire rolls across the ceiling, sending us to our knees. Hell yeah. Now we’re getting to the good stuff.
Cal’s shoulder hits my back, helping me brace against the strength of the water pressure as I hit her with a straight stream.
The force pushes me back, and he’s there, lending me his weight.
Flames dance forward like a lover reaching out to kiss me before she retreats from my onslaught, redirecting across the ceiling and down the walls, seeking new fuel to consume. The chase is fuckin’ sexy as hell.
I lower the flow and watch her dance a little. “Yeah, baby,” I murmur. “You like it hot, don’t ya?”
“Quit dickin’ around, Kermie.” Cal’s command is muffled behind his breathing apparatus, but I get the message.
He knows I fucking hate that nickname. My parents named me after a great-grandfather; it’s just too bad he wasn’t named something normal, instead of landing me with a freaking puppet name.
I hate it, and that’s the only reason Cal insists on using it—mainly when he’s giving me shit.
Obviously, he’s tired of me sweet-talking the flames.
Killjoy .
I switch to a fog spray pattern, providing us with a protective barrier and reducing the hot air from the room.
As much as I like to dance with fire, this girl looks like she could roll over any second, and I can’t let her hurt my partner.
He’s already been hurt once because I made a mistake.
I’ve failed two people in my life—one it cost them their life. It won’t happen again.
I sigh. Playtime’s over.
Switching back to a large, heavy stream, I bump into Cal again before we’re able to press forward and advance through the rest of the house.
In no time at all, the fire is contained, and she taps fully out. Then the fun part is over, and the overhaul work begins .
We’re a couple hours in when Cal’s phone pings a notification. His axe head hits the floor as he reaches for his phone. Me? I’d let it sit unread and get to it later. Or never. But Cal’s got a woman and kid at home, and he never misses a message, even in the middle of a call.
“No way,” he exclaims.
The ceiling I’ve been battling finally gives up and breaks away, falling into a nasty heap of ruined, waterlogged sheetrock on the floor between us.
“Dude.” He flashes his phone toward me, the glow of the screen highlighting the dusty debris cloud hanging in the air. “Chief and Deputy Chief Collins got married tonight. Rosie just sent me a picture.”
With NFD’s Chief Olivia Hawkins, and my Deputy Chief Mac Collins tying the knot, I guess now there are two Chief Collins. That’s going to be confusing as fuck. Rosie being their daughter and Cal’s occasional babysitter it makes sense he’d have her number.
Cal taps out a message and then resumes overhauling, smiling like a damn loon. “I guess he finally got fed up with waiting and flew them all to Vegas.”
“That’s one way to do it.” Though I’ll never understand why anyone would want to be tied down to one place, or one person, forever.
A shudder ripples through me at the thought of locking anything down permanently.
Hell, I’ve already got itchy feet, and I’m ready to get the hell out of Georgia, let alone this small town.
I can’t imagine staying here and settling down. And marriage? Nah. Not for me.
If it didn’t work for my parents, who were solid as a rock until I went to college, I’m not convinced it can work for anyone.
“Never let it be said that Mac Collins couldn’t get shit done. ”
Cal is such a suck-up to the deputy chief.
It didn’t bother me at first, but after that call where Cal got clobbered by a tree branch during storm cleanup…
anyway, it gets on my nerves every time he gloats about how great Collins is.
Collins isn’t the one who pulled the branch off him or kept him awake in the ambo. That was me and our medic crew.
Whatever. He’s just a dude.
It doesn’t matter. If things go my way and I get into the program I’m gunning for, I won’t have to listen to it much longer.
We fall back into the rhythm of ripping into sheetrock and checking for hotspots. I low-key hate this part of the job. It’s not nearly as fun as the adrenaline rush from actually fighting a fire.
“We should have a party,” he says as his phone dings again, and he pauses to check the message.
It’s no wonder it takes us twice as long as it should to complete a job, since he can’t stay focused and off his phone for more than a minute.
“Looks like I’m not the only one thinking that way.
Reception is next weekend after they get back from their honeymoon. ”
“They planned something that quick?”
He shakes his head, huffing a laugh as he slips his phone back into his pocket. “Those NFD ladies can make anything happen.”
Fucking NFD.
Even though it’s barely a twenty-minute drive from Senoma, Newman is the largest municipality in our county and the only one with its own fire services. All the other towns, like Senoma, are covered by county forces.
“No idea who you’re talking about.” I do, but it grates on my fucking nerves when he talks about his old crew. If Newman Fire Department is so great, why doesn’t he go back there?
Am I a little jealous that he talks about them and thinks so highly of them when it doesn’t sound like they were all that great of friends? Maybe. But I’m so tired of hearing about them like it was such a great place to be, when he’s the one who left.
“Jules said they’re all over it and planning a big shindig for both departments. I’ll make sure to introduce you to the guys I used to work with at NFD and their women.”
No fucking thanks.
He’s smiling like an idiot, lost in his thoughts, and doesn’t notice my reaction at all. Not surprising. He’s all in love, both with Jules—his barista girlfriend—and the tiny terror of a niece they’ve obtained guardianship over. I’m pretty sure he’s been ring shopping.
Good for him, I guess. I’m not setting down roots anywhere. In fact, it’s time to move on to my next adventure, which is why I’ve finally got that application to be a wildland firefighter up on my iPad back at the station. I’ve been here too long, and it’s time to move forward with my plans.
“You’re gonna go, right?” Cal picks up the conversation like things haven’t been silent for the last however long.
“What, solo? Hell no.”
He pauses to look over at me. “Take Maggie with you.”
I’m shaking my head before he finishes saying her name. “Nah. Maggie and I are just friends. She’s been my little sister’s best friend since high school. Weddings and dates are way more than what we are to each other. Sends the wrong kind of message.”
His gaze narrows on me, and I narrow mine back.
“Don’t fuck with me about Maggie, dude.” I tolerate a lot of joking and bullshit from this crew. But I draw the line with her. She’s awesome, and I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who says otherwise. “She’s Alice’s best friend, and that makes her off-limits. We’re just friends.”
His hands fly up in defense. “Okay, Kermie. It just sometimes seems like maybe there’s more to it. My bad.”
Jesus. That fucking nickname. Irritation flares, but I know better than to let him see how much it bugs the crap out of me. “Nope. And why does everyone assume that just because we have fun together and hang out, we are a thing?”
“Uh, because platonic male-female relationships are unusual.”
“Then I guess we’re the exception. I don’t think of her like that, and she definitely doesn’t see me that way. The woman is good as gold and has a heart big enough to love the whole world. I’m not taking any shit talk about her.”
“Okay. When’s your next adventure?”
“Sunday. I took a vacation day.” A sliver of excitement runs through me. It’s gonna feel good to get out of town, even for a day.
He glances at me for a long minute, like he’s trying to read me, and then goes back to cleanup. “What are y’all doing?”
“Well, if I can’t get a zip-lining pass, I’m thinking of heading to the mountains for a day trip.” I don’t mention that I need to train on the mountain. Cal has no idea I’m thinking of leaving.
Am I wrong for keeping my silence? Possibly.
But it’s easier if I just do my thing. They already give me shit enough about Maggie, questioning if things are truly platonic. We like to hike and do adventures together, which means plenty of time on road trips. You get to know a person when you do that.
Why add fuel to the fire? The stupid inner joke makes me smile. Maggie would laugh at it, I’m pretty sure. Or she’d roll her eyes at me.
Still, I’m not sharing my future plans, mainly because I don’t want to answer a bunch of fucking questions from my partner.
I let the drone of the work dull me into a mindless state.
Before long, we’ve made it back to the station and gotten our truck back in service.
Medics Kate and Leo must have stopped by in between calls—I can tell because Leo’s left his damn used Styrofoam cup in the kitchen again.
Cal and I catch some z’s until tones drop for a midnight wreck that gets the juices flowing and requires the use of the jaws to extricate the driver.
By the time I’m back at the station again, it’s the wee hours of the morning, and I’m way too pumped to sleep.
It’s times like this I know if I don’t keep my mind busy, it’ll take a walk down memory lane, replaying all the parts of my past I avoid thinking about.
Like midnight jumps that end in tragedy.
Dammit .
I grab my iPad to partake in my favorite pastime: researching possible adventures. The application tab is still open when the screen unlocks.
Moving to wildland firefighting, trying to make it onto a hotshot or smokejumper crew, is what I’ve been working toward for more than a year.
The whole reason I’ve saved every dime, pushed my body to peak performance level, applied to every wildland firefighting organization I can find, and taken endless certification courses.
Running into a burning structure is one thing. Running up a mountain is another.
My finger hovers over the electronic submission button. Experience dictates that I have a fifty-fifty success rate with my wild ideas. Half the time, they suck; half the time, I have a blast.
Won’t know until you try.
Do I want to run up and down mountains and fight raging infernos, the kinds that create their own weather patterns and require you to have a personal fireproof tent? Hell yeah. Sounds like it could be fun. And things have gotten… pinchy here in the last few months.
When Cal got struck by a rogue limb, I realized I’ve been with James County Fire Rescue way longer than planned, definitely longer than I’d been anywhere else. It’s time for a change.
Plus, I owe it to him to do what he’ll never get the chance to, what I robbed him of. I’ve been dicking around for too long. It’s time to do the right thing and finally go for the goal I originally started this career for.
And in the meantime, maybe my adventures with Maggie will be enough to tame the restlessness growing inside me.
I click submit on the application and hold my breath until the confirmation appears. Then I notice the time. In another five minutes, the ticketing system will allow me to make my online reservation for a zip-lining adventure. The trip has been on my radar for weeks, and it books up quickly.
To kill a few minutes, I check my email and find one from my sister.
She’s all gaga about a multiclass high school reunion, based on the first line.
I skim the message with mixed emotions. It makes sense they’d combine several years together since each graduating class was around fifty or so graduates.
I don’t want to think too hard about why my immediate response is no, nor who and what I might have to face from my past. But I may have to swallow my pride and actually do this because things between my little sister and me are finally back in a good place after a failed relationship with one of her friends nearly destroyed us.
I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize what we’ve worked so hard to restore.
I’m a fly-by-night kind of guy. But Alice is like our older brother, strategic and driven, and if it’s on her radar to be the event coordinator for the reunion, then that’s what’s going to happen.
And if I’m right about that, it means I’ll be going to the reunion to support her. Letting her down again isn’t an option.
I close my email and go back to the adventure site because it’s more fun to think about. I tap out a quick message to the one person who will answer at this ungodly hour.
And then I wait.