Chapter 2
Two
“ I see your waitlist percentage is two and a half percent lower than the requirement,” Maureen’s stiff ass noted while shifting a document from one pile to the next.
She’d been reading over my interim report. It was that time of the year. While her team of three all had input, Maureen, with the permanent scowl, nitpicked, commenting on the obvious and least significant.
“Yes. Two and a half percent and we are just midway through the funding year,” I projected my voice while sitting up in my chair. I was uncomfortable—achy and starved—during this three-hour meeting. “After viewing our numbers during the second quarter, our executives decided to suspend the outreach workers’ goal of recruiting new intakes to maintaining relationships with the current waitlist community.”
“Yes,” Lex chimed in. “My assistant program manager and I determined outreach is not a challenge for us. Developing trust in those constituents who agree to housing to ensure they avail themselves once a bed opens is where we were deficient. So, after a deep dive into peer-reviewed articles and data, plus consulting with organizations, we decided to do a little experimenting. In one quarter, we were able to utilize our outreach team to not only have people in need sign up to our waitlist for housing, but through dedicated efforts of keeping in contact with said individuals, we plugged them into needed medical and social services, and provided food vouchers, increasing our housing commitment number. As a result, we’ve filled beds more consistently.”
“I see.” Jack scratched the back of his head while peering at his copy of my report. “The grant we provide through Keller Woods Foundation requires a significant waitlist for housing. It meets our needs as an organization, fighting to prove Americans desire housing during this economy. It’s a part of our mission.”
“I understand that?—”
“The four of us in this room from Christ Cares are fully aware of that,” Lex interjected, cutting off my explanation. “Please keep in mind, we’re funded by several sources, all of which have varying missions and objectives. We may be lagging in one area of our proposed commitment to you to tweak and aide a not-so thriving area within the bounds of Christ Cares ’ objectives and goals. We’ll make the numbers, Jack. We always fulfill our proposals.”
“Speaking of which,” Kathy chirped at the table in our conference room. Mika’s wild eyes lobbed between the Keller Woods folks and ours like a wet cat. “I see there’s no commitment of continued funding from Johnson it was mine. I was grateful for her attending most of my funding evaluation meetings. It showed support.
Ken didn’t return to the conference room after expressing our well-wishes to our guests. Like me, he was exhausted from it all and hungry. It was well after two in the afternoon. In in-office reality, it was disrespectful to have to eat after one thirty in the afternoon when you worked a nine-to-five.
I sighed while click-clacking into the conference room. My steps halted when I noticed Lex spraying an area of the conference room table with a disinfectant bottle of something. Her assistant stood over a rolling tray she must have brought in while I was gone. She was unbagging food. Both women worked to create a lunch spread while Mika sat, tending to her phone.
“Well, dang, boss lady,” I murmured, rubbing my belly. “It’s downright disrespectful to turn around lunch this quickly near a starved, pregnant woman. I’m so damn hungry, my mouth is dry.”
“Go wash your hands. This is for you.” Lex turned toward her assistant to motion for her to begin placing the food down. “Mika…”
“One sec, boss lady,” Mika murmured. “I’m just finishing up on updating my resume and polishing the old cover letter because we fit’na be unemployed.” She continued to tap into her phone.
My head fell to the side, begging her pardon.
“Well, once you’re done panicking, oh ye of little faith, you’re more than welcome to join.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” she obliged on a deep yawn.
That shit was contagious as I turned for the nearest restroom to handle my business.
The cabbage wasn’t as soggy and tender as I’d come to hate at Jamaican restaurants. The curry chicken and oxtails hit every spot in my body.
Around my chewing, I commented, “This macaroni and cheese is definitely southern style. They put their foot in this.”
Lex dapped her mouth with a napkin at the head of the table. “I thought so, too. Ms. Remah turned her nose up at it.”
“At what?” Mika asked. “The mac and cheese?”
Lex’s face tightened as she laughed with closed eyes. “At it all. You know she thinks Jamaican restaurants aren’t authentic. She says her kitchen’s better.”
We all laughed at that. That lady was something else. She was a mother figure to Lex. Ms. Remah had been living with Lex and her husband, Ezra, since before they had children. She helps them out a lot with raising the girls. That thought had me rubbing my belly. I wouldn’t have help.
It will just be me and …
My belly fluttered each time I thought about Ishaan. I hated how he was now in my orbit. I didn’t ask for him. He propositioned me . He wasn’t fully prepared for a prostitute that night, though he thought to pick one up without enough condoms stored in his fuck pad. It was him who sought me out again in Atlantic City. Not once had I requested Ishaan in my world. Not a single time.
“Well, don’t tell Ms. Remah I’ve helped myself to two servings of this food,” Mika requested while reaching over the table with her short arms to spoon more oxtails onto her plate. “I don’t want her to stop sending in those rum cakes and corn soup.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” Lex winked.
I picked up my phone, looking out for a text from Rayna once again.
“So, how doomed are we?” Mika tossed her chin toward her shoulder, referencing the door behind her.
Keller Woods Foundation …
Lex’s eyes fell toward her plate then she shrugged. “We’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
Lex peered my way.
“Is my name Hayden ‘ Make it Happen ’ Washington?” I rolled my head over my shoulders. “Yes. We’ll be fine. I’ve been working on new, major foundations. Even have a meeting with Cooper University Hospital in South Jersey.”
“Is that why you’re taking off this week?”
Lex giggled. “It’s not exactly a day off if you’re working, Mika.”
I sighed, grabbing my cup of iced tea. As I lifted it to my mouth, my phone vibrated. It was my cousin.
Rayna: We’re cleared for 12:35 PM. If something changes, we’ll be notified.
I sighed again, stomach churning suddenly.
Me: Copy
“You good?” Lex asked. Pushing my plate away due to sudden anxiousness, I exhaled. Then I sat back and rubbed my belly, nodding. “Is the baby pushing on your stomach? I used to hate that. Eating was one of my top two favorite pastimes when pregnant. So, when you sit down, ready to go in only to get full fast, it kills the sport.”
“What was the other favorite?” Mika murmured spiritlessly.
A big, wanton grin stretched across boss lady’s chocolate face. “You really wanna know?”
“If it resulted in the conceptions and births of Lisa-Mare, Mia Grace, and Christ Harmony, I don’t wanna know nothing about it.”
Lex winked. “Deal.” She sipped her drink from a straw, and I noticed when her eyes were on me. “So,” she chirped after a big, silent gulp. “…let’s change the energy in here. We have a baby to prepare for.”
I rolled my eyes, and my head collapsed backward. “Oh, god. Tell me about it,” I grunted.
Lex’s palms smacked together, expressing excitement. “It’s time we start thinking about your office baby shower.” My head flew up and I shot eyes over to her. “Now, I’m not trying to step on your family’s toes on this, but there is no way we can miss out on celebrating you. I’m volunteering to be the Christ Care ’s god mommy.” She peered over to Mika. “I have right of first refusal even if you’ve asked already.”
My attention swung over to Mika, already prepared for her disposition. Mika’s face was toward her plate then she picked up her phone.
“It’s whatever you want, boss lady,” she murmured without eye contact. “I’ve gotta return some calls before my lunch is over.” Then she got up, gathered her plate, drink, and phone. She didn’t utter a word as she left the conference room.
Absentmindedly, my attention rolled over to Lex. Her eyes were wide as saucers.
I scratched my dry scalp, reminding myself of my hair appointment this afternoon after work. “Boss lady, we’ve got a problem.”
“I see!” she hissed, aghast. “What in the world is going on?”
“If I knew, it wouldn’t still be a problem.”
My damn appetite was effectively gone.
“Our second try,” Ebonee murmured, not looking the doctor in the eyes.
“Yes. We just performed our second embryo transfer today. It’s common,” Dr. Parrish gently replied. His eyes lifted to me from across his desk.
Ebonee chewed on her burgundy-stained lips. “And we have enough embryos for one more after this?”
“Yes. As you know: it’s safely stowed away in a New Jersey laboratory. We can have it overnighted here for installations. The process is very simple. And we have more options beyond the last transfer. Remember, we can also go the surrogacy route. Many years ago, having another woman carry your baby was frowned upon. These days, it’s a blessing countless women wish they could afford.” He rose from the chair and rounded the desk for Ebonee, reaching for her hand. “Remember your need to mitigate stress. Allow your body to do what we need it to do without interference.” His attention turned to me, then Dr. Parrish ambled toward the door. “Relax, Ebonee.”
When he closed the door to his office, I heard a decisive huff behind us on the couch. Ignoring her, I turned to Ebonee and observed her closely. Her attention was out the casement window. I gave her a few seconds to be present in the room. By waiting, I was able to see her visible trembling. It was quiet, buried beneath her obvious brooding. But the faint quivers could be seen from the shoulders down. We’d been here for over five hours, making it the longest damn day.
“Talk to me, Eb,” I spoke softly.
After an elongated delay, she whispered, “Why can’t I be a normal woman?”
“Because God didn’t want you that way. He created you above average. Gave you superpowers.”
Her head whipped my way, brows erect. “What superpowers? When were they enacted or activated?”
“In your studies. When your high aptitude was revealed as a child. You competed academically all the way through law school. You had to shoulder against patriarchy, racism, xenophobia—all that shit—when you scored at the top of your class—each class, each semester, each year. When you earned your spot as valedictorian in undergrad and law school—a law school with a twenty-three percent minority acceptance rate. You were a cut above the rest those five years you practiced law, battling in the courtroom.
“You demonstrated your superpower when you dominated legal talking points and consultations as a guest on different news outlets and talk shows. When they couldn’t decide which was greater—your beauty or intellect—you were offered a primetime, night show in Canada. Shit,” I scoffed. “They’re in a bidding war over you now, here in the States and up in Canada. You are the superpower.” I pointed to her.
She sniffled, confirming those internal tears. “Yeah, but not a superpower with the ability to co-procreate.”
“You’re attempting. You don’t know that. This is just the second transfer.”
Ebonee finally turned to me. “Yeah. The second. There were only enough embryos for three tries.”
“We’re not at the finish line yet.”
Ebonee glanced down at her belly and lap. “Feels like it. I’ve gained enough weight to be in my second trimester.” Her snicker was filled with melancholy. She looked at me until her confidence slipped again. “I’ve got you all the way out here just to fulfill a wild dream of mine.”
“It’s only been…what? Four months, Eb?” I took her at her hand this time.
“Yeah.” She studied the back of my palm splayed over her delicate copper hand with cotton candy pink-coated nails. “But at best, since getting started, you could’ve been rubbing a belly filled with a little human in my second trimester instead of my hand. Could you imagine what that would feel like?”
I could …
“Eb—”
“I just feel like I’ve roped you into one of my many grandiose goals. And this has to be stressful for you. You’ve held up your end of the bargain, and here I can’t…”
“C’mon now?—”
She shifted toward me in her seat, and Ebonee reached over to palm my face before laying a warm kiss on my lips. “Thank you for today. You’ve been a man of your word and beyond. Now, you have a flight to catch.” Then she smiled devilishly and whispered, “Unless you want to parlay over to my place and try for a miracle baby naturally.”
I studied her eyes. Ebonee’s switch up happened too fast for me.
There was a clearing of the throat behind us. “I’m old, not deaf.”
We turned at the same time to see her aunt sitting behind us on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. Her purse was being suffocated in between her breast and arm.
“We’re all grown in this room, Auntie.” Ebonee’s head fell to the side. “We are here for reproduction after all.” Scoffing, I turned toward Ebonee. Her attention shifted back to me as well. “Well?”
“Well,” I sighed, palming her hand gripping the arm of the chair. “I have that flight to catch like you said. Munchie’s probably out there punching the air because of how close we’re pushing it.”
“Bring her along, too.” Ebonee winked. “She can watch.”
A hard chuckle shot up from the bottom of my belly as I stood. “Get some cherry ice cream and soak in that new pool finally done on your property.” I regarded her aunt. “Thanks for flying down, Ms. Denise. Keep enjoying your summer in sunny Cali.”
“Thank you, Ishaan.”
When done paying Ebonee a last parting glance, I left out of the office.
After locating her to my right, Munchie jumped off the sofa in the hall. “Sir, are you kidding me?”
As she rounded me with power speed, I smiled while preparing to move. “Delicate matters require narrowly meeting timeframes.”
She stopped and turned to me with wild eyes. “Is she…”
I shook my head. However, I couldn’t miss Munchie’s visible and audible exhale.
“Munchie.”
“Sir?”
“Easy.”
She nodded. “Yes, sir.” After taking a deep breath, without her eyes, she murmured, “We need to go.”
I nodded as I continued to read the proposal draft. “ Hmmhmmm .” As I approached the closing, I felt my head bobbing more. When I was done, I drew my attention to Mika. “This is really good. Strong.” I nodded while thinking. “Compelling. Even the time you spent on our highlights was a light flex. Professionally done.”
Mika rotated her torso and neck from her chin to meet her shoulder in a form of curtsey. “I learned from the best,” she emitted in her faux baby voice. “Thanks, boss lady!”
Typing into my keyboard, I shared, “Now, I know I have you here late, but I also had you get started right away because I knew we had so much shit to do before my trip to South Jersey tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Mika interjected, wielding her index finger to express emphasis and humor. “About that: you sure you don’t want me to take the ride with you? I mean…” She glanced around my small office. “I won’t have much to do here tomorrow after all we’ve done today.”
I scoffed, wishing my agenda was that simple. “Yeah, but Jade is coming tomorrow.” A wink succeeded my smirk while my eyes remained on my desktop monitor.
“Holy moly!” Mika’s lungs sloughed out. “How could I forget about that? Not only will she probably bring all types of bakery sweets, but maybe I can finally convince her to get me into one of her husband’s game nights.” I laughed at her sincerity. “For real, boss lady. Spilling That Hot Tea says they’re legendary. All the fine, sexy, rich bosses are there, spinnin’ and winnin’ big dough!”
While shaking my head, I snickered. Finishing up on an email to myself, I turned from the monitor and faced Mika from across my desk.
I pulled in a deep breath. “Now.” Exhaling, I asked, “What’s your deal with me and my pregnancy?” Laying back, I placed my hand on my pouch for a gentle rub.
Quickly, I saw several thoughts and feelings flash across my assistant’s face. Shock and even fear. In there was also hesitation and realization of this being a setup. I’d requested Mika to clock in at eleven this morning instead of her usual time of eight A.M. I also treated her to a late breakfast then a late lunch at four today. At this hour, the office was empty, sans the cleaning crew.
Hell, yeah. I was ready for confrontation.
In the next span of seconds, Mika’s face folded, and her shoulders jerked. “I’m sorry,” she offered with no bass in her delivery. Her fist curled near her closed eyes, thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m such a jerk,” she whispered.
“I’ve never seen this side of you until my announcement in June.” That was my attempt at giving Mika a starting point. But when she didn’t respond and kept rubbing her face up and down, rocking in her seat, I continued, “Mika, much of our success as a duo is our energy and synergy. I can’t creep around in our shared workspace with this belly. Come November—or when I return from maternity leave—there will be remnants of my motherhood here in this building. Now, if you’re telling me you’ve set a new precedent for our relationship, then perhaps, I need to speak to Lex about a replacement?—”
“We conceived the same day!” rushed from her lungs.
“What?”
“My due date.” She sat back in her seat. “My due date was November ninth, too.”
Shit .
“Mika, I didn’t plan?—”
“I know you didn’t know I’d be conceiving that night. Heck, it’s not even my business how you, too, conceived that day or night we were away together. But I’m human, boss lady. I’ve been struggling with my decision since making it.”
“The abortion?” Mika nodded, eyes closed to a squeeze again. “Mika, pardon my insensitivity, but why was it so hard to distance yourself from such a sporadic, reckless decision?”
Streams of tears rushed from her eyes. “Because as sporadic as my decision was, boss lady, it wasn’t reckless. Henry and I had something special.” She grabbed her chest. “I felt that here. You don’t know what it’s like growing up dark and fat with nappy hair.” I gasped. Mika was neither dark, fat, nor kinky-haired. She created a gross exaggeration of herself.
She continued, “You’re known for everything except appeal. I was the funny girl and the smart one. My friends and I were all insecure coming up. We all were. But when those embarrassing moments of being teased happened to them, they all ran…behind me. I was big enough, funny enough, and dark enough to cover them. I took the bullets of ridicule and looks of disgust from adults, girls, and boys alike. Even the ones we had crushes on. I took all the jokes, bullying, and nasty rejections here.” She referenced her heart.
“Then I go to Vegas and meet Henry. At first sight, his eyes lit up. They lit up . I’d never had that happen in my life. He saw me. With all of this.” She wiggled the fat of her triceps. “This.” Then her belly was next. “And this.” She rubbed the back of her hand, referencing her gingerbread complexion. “He recognized this.” Her palm lay over her heart. “So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for PTSD I’ve been taking out on you. You don’t deserve it. I just need some time to…” Mika dropped her face into her palms again.
Time to what?
“Why didn’t you two exchange information, Mika?” My tone was that of her superior.
“We were sleeping when a call came through for him to get back to work. He was frantic, putting his uniform back on. All he kept saying was, ‘Baby, I’ll be back. Give me an hour, and I’ll be back. I’ll be right back.’ It happened so fast, I believed the bubble that captured our fantasy. I thought we had time.”
Mika thought she and Henry had time when I, on the other hand, had thought my time with Ishaan was done. Both times. Then, as my luck would have it, we had just six degrees of separation, and there went my quiet life. Aside from that, I could relate to my assistant. I was the skinny, unattractive kid with the biggest secrets lurking behind each corner I’d traveled in my childhood journey. My father had been indifferent toward me, unlike his other daughters my age. That, and I’d been in a gut-churning relationship with my mother’s uncle. I hid those two cloaks of shame behind being smart and unproblematic.
I was the quiet girl with the highest academic scores. Oh, I was bullied for that, too. It wasn’t until I’d begun spending more time with my cousin, Sundryia, and we bonded. She taught me not to take anyone’s shit. I kept her from sneaking rat poisoning in our mother’s uncle’s food a few times—my mom’s, too—for that matter.
So, in many respects, I could relate to Mika’s childhood. Shit. We’d apparently conceived on the same night and by strangers. My assistant and I had a lot in common. The difference being her desire for the baby she aborted and my lack of.
I glanced down to my round belly hidden behind a loose blouse and caressed the tight flesh. So many thoughts were speeding through my mind. My ‘in the meantime’ about a particular dilemma had to come to an end.
“I don’t want to lose my job. I need it,” Mika wept. “I’m going to try to do better, but I feel so…sad.” She sniffled, wet tears threatening her nose. “So angry. Not at you, but at what I threw away, listening to my family. That was a piece of me.” She shrugged. “Or maybe I panicked, possibly believing my connection with Henry was not real.” Mika’s head shook incessantly. “Anyway. I’m going to do better. I just need some time, boss lady. The baby shower…” She swiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sat up. “I can’t promise I can be a part of it. I may take off.” Her head fell back as tears streamed again. “I don’t care that I don’t have many PTO days left.”
Snapping from my stupor, I inhaled, sitting up in my seat. “Mika, I empathize with your story more than you know. As you’ve said: we have a lot in common regarding that serendipitous day in Vegas back in February. However, I am still your manager here at Christ Cares . I cannot subject myself to a work environment which isn’t conducive to my mental and emotional wellbeing. It’s not something I’d want for you either.
“So, here I am, officially asking you to find a way to manage your ill feelings about my condition. It’s going to help you when I actually deliver. Planned or not, I’m preparing to have a baby. The circumstances around it aren’t perfect. But they don’t concern you anymore than it is the fault of my baby’s. You don’t have to be happy for me. All I’m asking is that you not make this already challenging juncture of my life even more difficult. Okay?” my throat closed up on me, causing my last words to sound as grunts.
Sobbing even harder, Mika nodded. Her lungs and diaphragm were fucked up, too, when she muttered, “Yes, boss lu —” She whimpered. “…lady.”