Chapter 6
Six
I watched as Lex read the printed correspondence from Johnson a jack of all trades and a master at none. I’ve worked in the basement and been on the front line. I’ve climbed my way up.
“Even starting this floating fleet business— MEHKI —with Jeff, I was one man with a dream and a single partner. Now, look at where we are. So, I’ll leave you with this. No matter where you serve, we’re comprised of one body. Each of us is important. My son’s here.” I pointed to Mehki, sitting in the audience, eyes wide on me. “He’s the only party in my home who doesn’t work to contribute. Yet he’s the one who’s protected the most. The functions of my home have been designed to meet his needs. He’s just as valued as the rest of us there.” The room applauded.
I gave them a few seconds before motioning for them to allow me to continue. Ironically, I had a flight to catch.
When the room of forty or so staff and affiliates obeyed, I continued, “I live by the African proverb, ‘The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ Let us share the warmth of comradery to keep the momentum going.”
I landed on another round of applause, gave a head bow of acknowledgement, and left the stage. At the bottom of the steps, Niko, Munchie, and a couple of photographers were waiting. Niko, my public relations guy for the company, directed me to the wall where I suffered through countless flashes from cameras.
During my fake smiles, I heard Niko jeer, “How is it that I’ve only spent two hours with him, yet it feels like I’ve just run a damn marathon?”
Munchie scoffed then rolled her eyes to me. “Then imagine my world. I’m not even employed by MEHKI , though I’m here, working on behalf of ADJ Enterprise . It’s three o’clock here in L.A. Keep in mind, I woke up at four thirty this morning on the East Coast to begin my workday. I’ll be lucky if I’m home in enough time to catch the eleven o’clock news with my cats.”
When I’d had enough, I looked Niko’s way. Understanding my request, he snapped into action, ending the flashes. Within seconds, Mehki was at my side, and we were headed out the rear of the building to the runway where a jet was juiced up and ready to go.
Walking toward the aircraft, Munchie asked Mehki, “How does it feel to walk out of an office building of a company named after you to a plane with your name on it, too?” She winked.
A goofy grin spread over his face as I answered text messages collected while engrossed in the event. His silliness warmed my fucking chest. It made me remember him as a toddler when he was always happy, unlike now, with his mounting, moody ass hormones.
“I think it’s cool that he thought of the kid and named his company after me.” Ki beamed.
I snorted, “Nigga, I named you.”
Mehki seemed shocked by that. Humor drained from his face. “You did?”
I nodded. “Your name means ‘Who is like God.’ So, you’re right. I did want your name tied to this but the same goes for the concept I wanted for the floating fleet business. We’re in the air, above the clouds like God.”
“But you said God ain’t in the sky,” he challenged, sounding doubtful as we approached the metal staircase to board.
“He’s not. But the visual is catchy.”
We boarded. Munchie and Mehki took to their seats right away. I knew, like me, Munch had shit to work on. I made a beeline to the bathroom to take a leak. When I was done, I sat across from my son.
“So, you ready for that paper? Making notes for your outline?”
Rubbing his lightly dusted mustache, he gazed out of the window. “Kind of. Every time I think I understand what you do, I find out I don’t know much at all.”
Behind him, Munchie scoffed. I understood why. Mehki didn’t know the darker roles I played in my work.
“It’s a lot. I know.” I buckled my seatbelt. “But, hopefully, after today, my work is more descriptive.”
It was a Friday, and career day for his school. Students were able to miss school to shadow a working professional at their workplace. It didn’t matter the type of professional or if the student wanted to go into their industry. The students had to write a paper about the experience. Interestingly enough, the students could not choose a profession they were considering pursuing.
“So, you’re still focused on basketball?”
The captain cut in with his typical greeting, advising us to buckle up, and giving a rundown of the weather and expected time of arrival. When he was done, I drew my attention back to Ki, prompting him to answer my question.
He pinched his lips with his fingers while gazing out of the window again. “I ‘on’t know. You know balling is in my blood. It used to be all I ever wanted.”
“And now?”
“And now, I see how you turned out after dropping out of BSU .” He shrugged.
“Come on, man. You can’t skip school. If I’d taken up business while at BSU , I would’ve cut out a lot of bullshit and saved so much money. School ain’t negotiable, young king.”
“Nah.” He shook his head hard. “A young, Black brother needs that BSU experience. Nah mean, young blood? That Panther life is like no other!” He laughed, back to his cool guy persona. “But after…” He hesitated. “I’m thinking about…” His eyes were on me. “…backing you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
Mehki shrugged again, eyes rolling away. “I feel like I owe you so much?—”
“You don’t owe me shit, Ki. Ever.”
“I do. Only bratty kids think they don’t owe their parents who sacrifice any and everything.” He murmured, “That ain’t me, Poppy. Yeah. Let’s say by some miracle, I do make it to the League with the BSU push. What I’m ‘posed to do? Send you money? You got your own money. Buy you a house? You got a big ass house. A ride? What car or truck can I get you that you ain’t already scratch up the wheels on. You feel me?”
“So, you think by working for me?—”
“Yeah. I’ll start off as a mailroom runner until I find my way. When that day comes…” He smacked his palms and pushed the right one into the air to demonstrate a rocket. “I can take the ball and run with your legacy.” Ki nodded adamantly, staring me dead in the eyes.
I braced myself as we raced down the runway for takeoff. I was happy to be returning to the East Coast, unable to put my finger on why, I felt I was leaving something behind unprotected when I traveled this time. It was strange since my only dependent—my son—was unusually here with me.
“Why are you concerned about working? You’re a kid, man. Go crazy while you can because, let me tell you, once your youth is over, next thing you know…”
“You’re a poppy and gotta work like a dog, especially after your son’s mom dies. Still work hard even after everybody said it was you who sniped her.”
Gaping at him with high brows, my heart pounded in my damn chest and my palms began to mist. Munchie’s head snapped up from her laptop, eyes wide and alarmed. Fuck . I had to snap the fuck out of it. “Mehki?—”
“Nah, Poppy. I know. I hated that shit,” he whispered with tight lips. “Still do when I go visit the family. But you stood ten toes down and gave me a life. Look at me,” he challenged with confidence, palms extended. “I’m on a plane named after me. You just told me you named me. I don’t deserve?—”
“You deserve this and more, Ki. You don’t owe me or anyone that type of energy, thinking about some shit you weren’t old enough to understand. It’s a pleasure providing for you, working hard for you to have this life.”
“And now, you’re gonna have another mouth to feed.” His eyes circumspectly swept past me.
Insecure. My little “big man on campus” was lacking fucking confidence.
“Ki—”
“Is she coming back? The Hayden lady?”
Behind Mehki, Munchie’s head lifted and faced my way again.
“I’m working on it.”
His eyes blew the hell up and he gulped in air to ask, “So, the baby is yours?”
This was a difficult conversation, and I was pussyfooting around it. I had to tell my family something and soon. They were aware of the possibility, but I needed to get ahead of this shit before things grew more complicated between Hayden and me.
And if Ebonee conceives …
Hayden was such a fucking stubborn girl, and my ass wasn’t much better. Either way, the ball was in her court with us being friends, whether I was the father or not.
“Nanu said…” Ki cut into my thoughts. “…you took the test. You know…” He kicked his long legs out nervously as we ascended into the air. “…to see if the baby’s yours.”
Stuck as fuck, I nodded. “I did.”
His lips rubbed together as he eyed me down hard as hell, his volume controlled, “What they say? The results.”
I tossed my hand into the air. Again, fucking stuck in the conversation with my son. Since he could speak, I taught him the concept of being a leading male. How he had to be alert, honest, smart, and dominant in energy at all times. Sitting across from him, I was none of those things. I was simply a man weakened by yet another woman. The second in my life. She had me intrigued and possessive of her although she’d been making it clear my presence in her life was unnecessary.
Taking a deep breath, I answered with one word as I stared aimlessly out the window, “Ki.”
Ki’s eyes dropped and mouth twisted. “It don’t matter. You’re gonna take care of it either way.” He seemed defeated as hell.
Damn .
The little fucker had the nerve to be fucking right.
While typing on my keyboard in my office—in a serious groove—there was a tap at my door. “Hayden, your mother’s here,” Laura announced.
“My who?” I was stunned and confused.
“Tamara said it was your mother.” Laura craned her neck, peering down the hallway. “She’s coming down now,” she whispered.
Damn.
Seconds later, my mother was entering my tiny space. Heavy on the “my” in this space.
“Hey, Mom.”
Laura left us alone.
“Can I have a seat? I just walked two blocks and up a flight of stairs.” She looked fatigued. Like, terribly feeble.
Standing, I assured, “Sure. Let me move these folders out of the way.” It was three in the afternoon, and I had to leave soon for an appointment. How would I excuse her? “Here you go.” I offered her the seat, placing the stack near the small printer. “What are you doing in Harlem?”
“Seems like since you’re going through something, you’re hiding away from me.”
Once I settled in my seat, all I could do was stare at her. “Going through something?”
“Your belly got bigger, I see.” Her expression was stoic. I didn’t know how to read her.
My hands went to my midsection. “I’m ending my twenty-eighth week. I’d hope so.”
“When’s your due date again?”
“November ninth.”
She scoffed, spine straight as she sat. Her purse was nestled into her lap. “And you haven’t planned the shower yet?”
The shower. Why was everyone asking about a shower? Before yesterday, my program here was on life support. So long as I had a job, my baby would be fine. I’d figure it out. It was what I’d always done.
“How do you know nothing’s been planned?”
“Because Rayna called me a few days ago, asking if I wanted to help out.”
“Look… Ma…” I shifted in my seat. “You really don’t have to. I’m sure they’re going to throw me something here, too. I’ll be fine.” I shook my head. “I have to find a place to store the things I’ll get.”
“You’re still not excited.”
“It’s not that,” I shot back defensively. “As I’m sure you remember, my apartment was flooded. It’s still being pumped out and dehumidified. Then I have to consider repairs. I’ve been under crazy stress here. Even now, I have just a little while more to work before I have to go. It’s just…been a lot. But don’t worry about the shower. Rayna and Sundryia have that covered.”
“Do you want me to show?”
My eyes blew the hell up. “Of course, I’d like for you to attend. Why would you ask that?”
She shook her head, shoulders shrugged. “You get like that with me. You can be so finnicky with things like this. You only invited me to celebrate one degree.”
“My first Master’s. I don’t think I had celebrations for the others. It was just a small party at my place.”
“But you did other things to celebrate.”
I scoffed, “With my classmates, yes. That’s different.”
Her head whipped away, lips tight. “You’re going to learn this motherhood thing isn’t an easy job, Hayden. I just hope you can connect with your child better than I’ve been able to with you. And by the way it looks, you’re going to be single just like me. When you have to work so hard, maybe, sometimes, you sacrifice the ability to bond with your child. I know you don’t want to be bothered with me, but I’m still your mother and can help you be a better—a good mom.”
I had a feeling she was initially going to say a better mother than her. If so, she changed her mind. It made me think about one of several conversations I had with Dr. Patterson.
“Now’s not a good time, but would you be interested in the two of us seeing a therapist to help us get to a place in our relationship where we can hear each other?”
Mommy’s head reared then bounced over her shoulders. “Hear each other? Hayden, I hear just fine. Now, if you wanna throw thousands of dollars away to talk to a stranger about what you think I did wrong in your childhood, go right ahead. Knock yourself out. I don’t believe in that new-age weakness.”
I used my index finger to waggle between the two of us. “We’re broken. We’ve been broken for so many years. I don’t think you get that.”
“I know I wasn’t perfect, Hayden,” her tone was one of warning. “But I’ve never given up on you. I’m here.”
There was an extended pause before I replied, “And we never get anywhere.” I shook my head. “Listen, I don’t have the mental or emotional capacity for another round today.” I really didn’t. I had to go. “You won’t be left out of the baby shower. Rayna and Sundryia wouldn’t do that, and neither would I.”
“I see you’re in a rush. Where do you have to be if you’re already at work?”
“I see we’re going to be late,” his thick cords projected, causing a deep echo across my small office space.
And damn, did he look delectable. The top of his braided hair almost reached the frame of the door he leaned into. Ishaan donned a business casual style for the day with navy blue dress pants and a white collared shirt rolled up at the sleeves. The look was more relaxed than on Wednesday when I showed to his office unannounced. He wore a full business suit then with hard bottom shoes. Also, the lollipop he sucked on. It wasn’t an accessory two days ago. And, once again, the man’s dark orbs sparkled my way. It was always as if no one else was in the room.
But there is someone else in the room…
I cleared my throat and blinked away unnamed emotions. “Hey. What’re you doing here?”
Ishaan smiled, slowly removing the candy from his familiar flesh. “We have an appointment across the bridge. Remember?”
“I do,” I breathed out, confused. “I didn’t know you’d be here. Like in Harlem.”
Ishaan shrugged. “I haven’t seen you in two days. Now we’re even.” He smiled, like sweetly smiled at me.
“Oh, my goooood,” my mother cried, her body halfway turned to peer behind her.
And for one second, I forgot you were here …
I bit my lips together.
“Is this…?” she posed to me, unable to keep her eyes off the COO for more than three seconds. “You’re the…?”
Ishaan, still beaming in his cheeks, showed confusion by way of his eyes, as they now, too, bounced between my mother and me.
“Ishaan, this is my mother,” I made the introduction as he advanced toward her. “Mom, Ishaan is a friend of mine.”
“A good friend, I hope,” he sweetly admonished me, taking my mother’s hand. Her mouth remained agape as her attention swung between the two of us. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I can actually see the resemblance.” He peered between the two of us as my mother had been doing since Ishaan announced himself.
“Oh!” She chirped, fighting a grin as she placed her palm on her chest. Holy shit! My mother’s taken! “Well, she is my only child. I guess it would make sense to pour everything I have into her.”
I wanted to roll my eyes.
“Funny.” Ishaan pulled back, standing erect while slipping his one hand without the lollipop into his pant pocket. “I’ve been trying to do the same for months.” He then peered my way. “You need the bathroom before we go?”
My head drew back, confused, and I blinked hard. “And how exactly are we doing this?”
“I have a car downstairs. You can give your Fusion a break this afternoon.”
My mother couldn’t take her eyes off Ishaan. She watched his every movement.
I scoffed playfully, “You knockin’ my ride?”
Ishaan chuckled, doing a great job at ignoring my mother’s gaping. “Not at all.”
I glanced around my desk to estimate what I needed to do to shut down. Then I took a deep breath. “Okay. I see you don’t mind crossing over the bridge several times a day.”
“Just enacting a good ol’ dose of love bombing here.” He winked beautifully.
I froze, catching on. Out of nowhere, I laughed—like grabbed my belly, tossed my head back, and laughed. “Dr. Patterson failed to tell me about that diagnosis.”
Smiling coolly, Ishaan returned, “Because she hasn’t seen us together in weeks. It’s a new development she’s yet to observe.”
“Oh, my goodness!” my mother shrilled again. “You’re Hayden’s boyfriend?”
“Ma!” I was embarrassed. Like… I needed to get to the bathroom before I let out an ounce or two; my nerves were fraying, second by second. “That’s inappropriate.” Breathy, I tried to forge a smile. “I just introduced him to you as my friend.”
Her shocked expression hadn’t relaxed yet. “But you two… You two are having a baby.”
“No, mom. I’m having a baby, and Ishaan is being a support to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for my OB-GYN appointment.”
“Well…” She peered up to Ishaan, the COO I wasn’t expecting to pick me up for this visit. Having these two in the same room made me feel naked—naked in a bad way. “I want to go to the appointment, too. Is that okay?” she asked Ishaan.
“I don’t think that’s his call, Ma.”
“It is. He’s the father.” She turned to Ishaan. “I don’t want to intrude. It would be nice to feel included. You can understand. Right?”
“Mom.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to come?” she argued.
I exhaled, “I’m asking you to acknowledge me when requesting.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “It’s not just about you.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I scoffed, “This thing isn’t just all about me; it’s only about me.”
My mother gasped. “That’s so rude, Hayden.”
Ishaan stepped deeper into the office. “Mind if I cut in here?”
My mother stepped back, fingering her neck, managing nervous energy.
“Do you trust me?” he posed to me softly.
Did I trust him? Generally, hell no. I trusted no man. I only liked Ishaan.
A lot …
Ishaan rightfully took my lack of a response for consent.
“We’re in a precarious situation here. Neither of us imagined being in a room together just a few short months ago. Ms. Monica, I’d be happy for you to support Hayden as well by attending her visit. Hayden gets nervous on the table, and I’m sure if you can be there showering her with positive energy, it’ll help ease some of it.”
My brows shot up and chin dropped.
The biggest beam spread on my mother’s face as her eyes shot hearts to Ishaan.
“Bathroom, Hayden,” Ishaan reminded me to move it along.
The handheld piece of the ultrasound machine rolled over my belly as Dr. Brown studied the monitor. The room was quiet but for the insistent and pulsating sounds of the activity of my womb. Sitting in a chair next to the exam table, Ishaan’s attention was to the monitor as well. He leaned in closer to me than usual. It was…nice.
I didn’t look at the monitor, not wanting to see more than I already knew. My baby was getting bigger and stronger. For that, I was grateful. As I listened to Dr. Brown rattle off estimations of the baby’s size and weight, I wondered if Ishaan’s close proximity today was pleasurable because it warmed me from my mother’s chilled presence in the room. She, too, had been fixated on the screen.
“Okay,” Dr. Brown sighed, removing the microphone’ish device from belly. “Everything looks good. I wanted this ultrasound to measure the fundal height, which is the distance between Hayden’s pubic bone and the top of her uterus. The number runs according to the number of weeks of gestation. Hayden’s in her twenty-ninth week. Therefore, she’s rightfully measuring at twenty-nine. This wasn’t the case at her last ultrasound, so I ordered this one to take a deeper look. All is well.” She patted my lower leg.
I smiled. “Thanks. So, a urine sample?” She mentioned it at the top of the visit.
“Yes. Just a sugar and infection screening,” Dr. Brown replied, wiping my belly. “It’s routine. Speaking of routine, here’s the place in our relationship where we bump up the visits to every two weeks.”
“So, my next appointment is in two weeks?”
“Yup. For the next month or so. Then we’ll go to every week until you deliver.”
“So, what is she having?” my mother blurted out.
All attention went to her.
Dr. Brown then faced me again.
“Ma, the gender has been revealed already.”
Her hands flipped open. “When did I miss it? Is it a boy or a girl?”
The room went silent, energy thick as hell.
“Hayden has opted to wait until the baby’s born to find out.” Ishaan was so diplomatic. So authoritative, just as he’d demonstrated on Wednesday when interfacing with his staff.
My mother’s face tightened. “Why would you do that?” she asked me. “How can anyone plan a shower if they don’t know the gender?”
“I know the gender.” Ishaan’s energy was unmovable. He peered my way. “If it’s okay with Hayden, I wouldn’t mind sharing it with you?—”
“Would you?” my mother shrilled. “Oh, my sweetness!” Sweetness? “That would be… Thank you!”
“Is that okay with you?” Ishaan asked me softly. Peering over at my mother, I saw the excitement in her eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was for my baby, so much as it was an expression of victory over me. She enjoyed being assisted with privy to my life, like having an ally to get inside of my world. I took a deep breath and nodded tightly. “Good.” He placed a big, tatted hand at my bare thigh. I wore a maternity dress today, leaving the only option of pushing it up, and exposing my lower flesh. The pressure weighted in authority and intimacy. I noticed even Dr. Brown’s eyes on the place our flesh met. “How long does she have before she can’t travel on a plane?”
“Oh!” Dr. Brown chirped, pivoting in her stance as she considered it. “Around week thirty-six.” She peered at me. “You still have some time, and you’re healthy.”
“Where are you going?” my mother asked. “You still have to figure out your housing situation for the baby.”
“I’m not planning to go anywhere. And trust me, my baby and I will be just fine when it gets here.” I wanted to say more, but we were in mixed company. I was still embarrassed by our bickering in my office in front of Ishaan. “Excuse me.” I rolled to the side of the table to leave. “Let me get you that sample, Dr. Brown.”
Without another word, I grabbed the cup and left for the restroom. It didn’t take long, and neither was it too much of a spilling mess to fill the cup. I was washed up in no time and returned to the examination room. Dr. Brown had left, but my mother was still in her chair as Ishaan’s tall frame squatted next to her. He was sharing his phone with my mother as she cupped her mouth. From my vantage point, I could see tears welling in her eyes.
Aware of my presence, Ishaan’s chocolate orbs peered up to me. “Did everything go well?”
“Yup.” I lay the sample on the counter near the sink. “What’s happening here?”
“Ms. Monica is seeing the gender of her grandchild,” he answered softly.
Who was this graffitied man who fucked me senselessly with so much passion? The one who wore suits and long, plaited hair? He was now informing and comforting my mother. And I’d be damned, Monica was ripped open wide. Schmaltzy. This was so out of character for her. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her cry. I didn’t want this in front Ishaan.
“You haven’t seen a baby in utero before, Ma?”
She sniffled then and with a shaky voice, croaked, “This is my baby’s baby.”
“Why is that so emotional for you, Ma?”
My mother wasn’t able to look at me when she murmured, “You’ll understand real soon.”
Of course, that infuriated me. She loved throwing my supposed “ignorance” to parenting in my face when I’ve only asked her to protect me as a child. I never said she was a horrible mom. She simply missed opportunities to protect me.
Still does …
I took a deep breath. “Okay. Well, thanks for coming. I hope this experience has brought you some level of joy. Thanks for coming to see me in Harlem then driving back to Jersey to attend my appointment. It does feel like support.”
Ishaan stood, eyeing me closely.
My mother sniffled and nodded. “Thanks for having me.”
I asked Ishaan, “Do you mind stopping for takeout before heading back to the City? B-Way Burger maybe? I’m starved.”
“Actually, I was hoping to talk you into having dinner at my place. Dr. Patterson’s been in the kitchen whipping up something for you.”
My head reared. “For me?”
Ishaan nodded. “Another act of love bombing. Remember?” Though he was joking, his charming grin was absent. He addressed my mother, “What are your plans for the evening, Ms. Monica?”
“Oh, nothing,” she sighed. “Maybe just go home and warm up some meatloaf.”
“You’re more than welcome to come by for dinner.” He glanced my way. “I’m sure my mother would love that.”
“Your mother? I heard you mention a doctor.”
Ishaan chuckled, peering at me again. “It’s a running joke between Hayden and me.”
It wasn’t but Ishaan didn’t say that.
My mother stared at me with contempt. “Would that go against Hayden’s rules?”
I shifted my attention to Ishaan. “Looks like we’re going to find out. And if it does, I’ll be sure to never allow the person orchestrating this to see this compliant side of my being ever again.” I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
Before leaving the room, I caught my mother’s final words. “I’m sorry. Hayden pushes the people closest to her away. Get used to this.”