Chapter 10
Ten
“ S o, as you can see here…” I pointed to the screen of my laptop. “I have to give a rundown of our accomplishments. This is different from the goals of our program. Different from the mission statement, too.”
“I’m glad you pointed that out because I was thinking of it.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin while observing my screen. “At first glance, it looks like the same information.”
I shook my head. “I tell everyone I mentor or train: It may seem repetitive, but once you learn how you’re evaluated, when it’s time to renew funding, it’ll make sense. Either that or when you get a big, fat ‘no’ from the potential funder because you didn’t answer each section adequately.”
Ishaan chuckled, and it felt so sincere. We’d just finished scarfing down dinner. The table was littered with open containers of what was left. I’d never had a feast quite like the spread before me. I knew it was because Ishaan really didn’t know me. He didn’t know what I liked other than what I’d eaten with him. Asian foods had never been our experience until tonight.
Something was off. I closed my laptop as he finished gulping down the last of his bottled Evian water. Ishaan was sitting in a chair with his torso in the air, looking so strange. Rigid. He hadn’t rested against the back of the chair.
“How was your day?” I rested my chin on a fist, awaiting his answer.
I watched as Ishaan processed that question. His eyes swiped across the wall ahead and the ceiling. “Another workday. It never ends. What didn’t get done today will be there tomorrow, right?”
I sat back in my seat. “If you weren’t here with me, what would you be doing?”
“Working.”
My sudden laughter ignited his.
“So why are you here?”
“Honestly? To make sure you are. You said last night was your last night.”
Damn. I did.
I took a deep breath. “I did, didn’t I?” Standing, I began placing the lids on the containers in order to clean up. “That was until I spoke to my cousins. Namely, Rayna, who explained the world of the chiefs under the ADJ brand.”
“Really?” he asked spiritedly. I shrugged with my brows. “What did she say?”
“She explained how high-profile you guys are. How dangerous work is for you. I’m still processing it. But when she mentioned her relationship with her assigned armed security, I figured having you track me ain’t all that bad. That is unless you find out this baby isn’t yours.” I paused to see his reaction.
Coolly, Ishaan snickered, tossing his napkin into his plate. “You’re funny, Boo-baby.”
I shrugged. “I mean… It’s not too late to get the DNA results from your mother.” Ishaan, ignoring my goading, tried readjusting himself in the chair and froze abruptly. His face strained. “What the hell is going on with you? Why haven’t you seemed relaxed since sitting down?”
He grunted, “Occupational hazard today. I need to take a pain reliever but wanted to eat first.”
I straightened on my feet. “Shit, Ishaan. Go! Do you have something strong enough for the apparent pain you’re in?”
“Oh, yeah,” he muttered. “In the bathroom.” Then his face relaxed and eyes lit up again. “Are you…tired?” he strained the last word.
Shaking my head, I asked, “Why?”
“Let’s go for a swim.”
“Where?” Then I recalled Ishaan had a pool in the back. A big inground one. “Are you up to that?”
“After swallowing back a pill, I’ll be loosened up. Let me take care of this food and I’ll meet you back there. Go get changed.”
“No. I’ll clean this up. You go get some relief.” I hissed, “And be prepared to share the hazard of your occupation causing you this pain.”
A gorgeous smile opened on his sandpaper-hued face. Ishaan licked his lips, eliciting lewd thoughts inappropriate given his alleged pain. “If that’s what you want, Boo-baby.”
I watched him complete another lap, thoroughly entertained by each cut, hill, and hue of ink on his frame. At least, what I could make out when he’d come up from the water before going back down. Ishaan had been swimming laps since I’d come out after him.
It had taken me some time to get all the dishes and containers from the office to the kitchen, pee, wash the dishes, and place the leftovers in the fridge. Then I washed down the conference room table in his office. After, I peed again then washed up so I could shave my bikini line. That was a feat. Thank goodness Ishaan had a full-length mirror in his master bathroom because I couldn’t see over my damn pouch.
Next came the task of selecting a bikini I believed I felt sexy in, which was ridiculous. None of the pieces Ishaan purchased for me during our shopping spree were maternity. My damn boobs swelled under the parameters of the triangular tops. I decided on a royal blue two-piece with gold accessories and finally left the room to find my way to the back of the house. The place was so damn huge!
I’d been watching him from the third interior, concrete step down from the opening. It was still warm out. The water felt good on my legs and belly. The sun had set, giving room for the beautiful night lights lining the outdoor oasis. There was a hot tub next to the main pool as well. The pool house adjacent to the pool was lit inside, exposing the cozy looking kitchen and lounge area. This was a nice vibe. I could see why Mehki spent lots of time out here hosting. In a way, I felt I was encroaching.
I didn’t feel Ishaan approach until he was at my knees. The shit startled the hell out of me. I watched as he came up from the water. His braids were dripping, brushed out from his face by his long fingers. His jet-black hair was curlier than usual. I couldn’t believe how much it appealed to me. Men with long hair had never been my type. Then mix in a complexion lighter than a bronze penny to add to just how bizarre my attraction to him had been.
His beautiful teeth were big and bright as he continued to swipe the water from his eyes.
“Feeling better so soon?”
Ishaan was out of breath. “Not pain free, but I knew exactly what to take so I could move. The water feels great. You’re a sight for pain management, too.” His hungry eyes darkened as they toured my globular breasts.
It was embarrassing and arousing at the same damn time.
“You don’t think this is…too much?” I bit my bottom lip.
“Not at all. Your body hasn’t been ‘too much’ for me yet.”
I stood and turned so he could see my ass. “And what if Mehki was here?”
“I’m sure he’s seen pregnant women at the water before. Besides, he isn’t here. Won’t be home until tomorrow.”
Sitting down again, I felt a wave of relief. “Well, at least he’ll be spared.”
Ishaan chuckled. “If he’s being spared, what does that say about me?”
“You’re half the reason I’m in this condition.”
His head cocked to the side. “So, you’ve opened the email with the paternity results?”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway. So, what happened at work today for you to need strong pain meds?”
Ishaan leaned in and kissed me. His wet lips were warm and soft. I missed them the second we disconnected. “Before we jump into the dark side of my world…” He reached for my hands. “…come inside and tell me how the meeting went with your cousins. Are you finally looking forward to your baby shower?”
Following his gentle pull, I stepped down into the pool. Ishaan pulled my arms out, stretching them in an urge to wrap around his wet torso. I obeyed so naturally and was rewarded with his strong arms and wildly beating heart. Damn. The human touch—the flesh of a man—felt so soul satisfying. I hated it. It wasn’t something I’d allow myself to get used to. Neither was it something I could be indifferent to.
My eyes were closed as I murmured over his shoulder with concern, “Your heart is racing.”
“It does that with you,” he whispered back.
“Is that normal?”
After seconds, he whispered again, “No.”
“So, what does?—”
His lips were on mine, tongue pushing deep into my mouth. Damn. The tarrying strong scent of his cologne, the chlorine, his magic over me; they all worked me into a spell. Of course, I kissed him back. Hard. I tasted his tongue and leaned fully into his hard body, all the while telling myself to slow the fuck down.
I was out of breath when I pulled back but kept my lips near. “This is too much.”
“Way too much,” Ishaan whispered back, eyes closed.
“Does it scare you or is that just me?”
“Your scary ass scares me.” His eyes opened. “You think I hold some kind of playbook for this shit. I didn’t wake up in February and say I wanted another kid. I damn sure didn’t see you coming. Having a connection to a woman had been a foreign thought for me.”
“And now?”
“I have no fuckin’ idea. There’re times when I wanna fuck you and other times choke your little ass like you did me last night.”
Shame showered over me, and I dropped my face into his chest and neck. “You always catch my ‘not so finest’ moments.”
“Hey,” he called out, taking me by the chin. “I’m still here, ain’t I? Now…” He pecked my lips sweetly. “…tell me how the meeting went?”
Ishaan breaking our connection helped my mind jump subjects. I shrugged as I thought about it. “It was weird. And I didn’t know they’d been talking with you.”
“Mrs. Jacobs hit me via text a couple of times. I told her I didn’t want to be left out.”
I scoffed, “Yeah. She told me about your guest list.”
He shrugged with his lips and brows. “Becoming a father is a big deal. There are some people in my life who’d be offended if left out. Dr. Patterson wouldn’t have it either. Is that a problem for you, though?”
Shaking my head, I felt like shit. “Again, it’s all a new world to me. I feel like speaking to them today opened my eyes to how serious this shit is.” Ishaan laughed. “I know. There’s something wrong with me.”
“You’re having a baby, sweetheart. You have to prepare. Your loved ones want to help.”
“I guess I get it. It’s just… I was prepared to do it all on my own. I can afford to raise a child. It was hard to start the gift registry. I’d planned to get all of that stuff?—”
“Once the baby got here? And what did you expect me to do? Wait?”
Staring off into the decorated sky, I exhaled. “It’s deeper than that.”
Ishaan’s big hands reached my expanded waistline, causing a stir from the baby. “Explain.”
“They were discussing details for the shower, and all I could think about was how they’d get around gender-specific details. Will there be pink bows or footballs and bats?”
He snickered. “Footballs and bats. What a combination.”
I had to laugh at myself. “You know what I mean!” I slapped my face, pretending not to be affected by his exploratory touch.
This baby is swimming, too, huhn?” He felt the kicking.
“I just feel…” I hesitated. “I’m struggling with fucking this up. I mean, I know I’ll step up and be the best mother I can be. I will. But I am still in my ‘meantime,’ deferring my excitement and preparation.” I snorted, “I know you have a laundry list of important work line-items you’re facing for tomorrow. You don’t have time for my emotional babble.”
His hands steeled and Ishaan gazed my way. “Emotional babble about a lifelong event we’re both facing. I’m afraid of transferring my pops’ militant toxicity on to my child.” He nodded. “Scared as shit.”
“You haven’t done that to Mehki. Right?”
“It rears on occasion. I have my moments. The difference is, with Ki, I was so damn young and had the mental stamina to fight off anything resembling my father. Now…” He tossed his chin gesturing my belly. “…with this little one, I’m an entirely different man. I’m sure I’ll parent the same.”
“You had a rough time coming up with your father?” I was wildly curious.
“Any kid being raised by an Army First Seargent who never turned it off would have a rough time. And it wasn’t limited to his household. He treated everyone he encountered as though we were his soldiers.”
“Were you two able to work it out?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “His ways were his ways. He told us over and over again, he wouldn’t soften because the world was a hard, cold place. He was married to a decorated psychologist and would challenge her when she tried infusing wisdom. Certified asshole.” Ishaan took a deep breath. “But… He made a man out of me. I just hope not the hard one he was.”
“Fuck,” I whispered. “This kid is going to have two parents with mommy and daddy issues.”
Ishaan scoffed, “We’ll be fine. I buried a lot of shit with my pops. I had to. He wasn’t all bad. He paid for a great education for me.” His voice fell an octave, “Even though I fucked that up by dropping out.”
“Why?”
“I really didn’t like school. I enjoyed balling more but didn’t love that either. When Mandy called me up saying she was pregnant and damn near homeless, that made the decision for me. I packed up and left right away.”
“And your father?”
Ishaan’s chuckle was dry. “I joined the United States Army the second day after my arrival.”
“You’re a vet?” I gasped.
“Dishonorably discharged.”
My eyes burst wide.
Damn …
“Ishaan, you were in the military?” My eyes went to his braided hair and colorful neck, chiseled chest, and knotted arms. “How?”
He laughed. “That was before my tatts couldn’t be hidden beneath a collared shirt. And I didn’t let my hair grow out until Sergeant Patterson took his last breath. At first it was a part of my grieving process. Then it turned into rebellion. Finally…” He grabbed a dripping braid. “…it’s a reminder and representation of my strength. When my father was alive, I believed there was no man who could take him on physically or mentally. As much as it was fuckin’ intimidating, that belief provided security like a muthafucka. When he died, I had to take what he taught and protect my mom, Ki, and me.”
“Why were you booted?”
Another deep breath. I was pushing and couldn’t give a damn. In less than three months, we’d be locked at the hip, and it infuriated me. I might as well get to know Ishaan.
“I was just a bad ass,” he murmured the chuckled at himself. “I swear I was, but I knew how to straighten up. I explained who and how my father was. So, I’d fuck around a little but knew my shit. Funny thing was, I went through training with ease. All my senior officers respected and responded well to me. I made the right rankings and exceeded most people’s expectations, except for?—”
“Seargent Patterson,” I was breathless.
“You’re a quick study.” He winked and made a clicking sound with his mouth. “I got deployed and left angry.” He shook his head. “Miserable actually. I showed up to this small town named Levo in South Sudan. It’s just outside of Juba . My commanding officer was the second biggest dick I’d ever encountered in life and enjoyed fucking with me. Too bad for him, I was raised by the biggest dick of all time, who was a career commanding officer. So, I wouldn’t let him break me, and that made him hate me even more.
“Our mission was to protect government scientists retrieving old aircraft debris from the Sudanese Civil War. We did our job without major threats. I met a few cool people from all over the country with different stories and skills. Crazy thing was, while there, I peeped how the women, children, elderly, and maimed were treated by their healthy men. After some time, I created my own mission with a few buddies of mine.”
“What did you do?”
I don’t care.
I don’t care.
I don’t fucking care.
“ Weh —” I licked my lips and tried to play it cool by placing my elbow next to him on the concrete lip of the pool. “What did you do?” I then thought to switch up my question. “Exactly.”
Ishaan’s head shook softly as he pushed the water with his fingers. “I don’t want to get into the specifics, but it got wild out there. I had a team of ‘renegades’ willing to create our own mission and address the men who were violent. We…” His head seesawed. “…handled them. We addressed them in a manner they understood.”
I scoffed, “Well, good.” I swallowed nervously. “Are they still alive?” Ishaan’s head lifted to face me. His eyes landed on my lips then slowly ranged up to my eyes.
“Some,” he answered my question, causing my damn belly to flip.
I swallowed hard, stuck at what to say…what to do. “Were you the only one dishonorably discharged?”
His head shook. “A female officer and two guys—Lynn Wilson, Tom Carver, and Kelvin Bryant. We were all booted. We all went our separate ways but remained connected. When I took on this role at ADJ Enterprise , I brought them with me.”
“To do what?”
There was another break for silence. It was clear the information had been difficult to share. I could sense why, based on him practically telling me he’d murdered someone— people —or had been involved in murder. I’d rather leave the latter in my reserve of information. Nonetheless, learning more about Ishaan made my life feel…normal.
This time, Ishaan fully shifted to face me. He made sure to look me square in the eyes as he stepped into my person. He dipped into the water and took me at the hips. Quickly, and disturbingly naturally, I clasped his shoulders and straddled him. Ishaan backed us away from the ledge, moving comfortably slow.
“My role is very nuanced. A while back, you asked why Azmir would seek me out for this position. It was because back at BSU , I was the party guy. I arranged for gatherings, small and large. Even the staff would consult me on their social events. I grew to inviting musical guests to perform. Even celebrities who weren’t in the music industry would come party with us—on and off campus.”
“That’s sort of how I met you,” I remembered out loud. “Ragee performed for the… Panthers ?”
“Right. The BSU Panthers .”
“So, you were able to get the attention of big-time celebrities like that?”
“Being from Jersey and knowing key figures was how I understood the power of being separated from celebrities by just six degrees. I met the owner of my academy’s kid.”
“ Ellis Academy ?” New Jersey had loads of schools with the word academy in the title. However, everyone from New Jersey and the surrounding area knew of the institution. It rivaled the state’s education system. Ishaan nodded. I was familiar with the family. “Which one?”
“Sadik. I used to kick it with his sister. Do you know him?”
“No.” I couldn’t help my excessive blinking. “Well, kind of. His wife and my boss are good friends.”
Ishaan nodded. “Good.” He continued, “Being at BSU was the second plug. The place is widely lauded. It’s a matter of getting to know the staff who has the connection then making them your own as the premier grounds for Black American culture. After leaving the military and coming home to the responsibility called Mehki, I needed to work. So, I threw parties in New York City and here in Jersey. I partnered with small groups willing to invest and we put on the best events. Legendary. Azmir had been watching— for years .
“I was hard at work, establishing my reputation and learning the art of entertaining people. I began to understand bringing people together for the purpose of having a good time invited bad people, too. So, I had to learn how to filter and protect patrons. It wasn’t always easy or pretty but was par for the course.
“Then out of the blue, a buddy I’d met while in the military recommended me to a private security firm. It’s a specialty agency funded by the U.S. government, but not run by it. Simply put, they take on assignments the government has interests in but don’t want the public association to. Lots of retired military and governmental intelligence and security agents. Even rejects like me with specialized combat skills are employed by them. I worked for this firm for years until I quit.”
“Why?”
“The primary reason was because I’d finally gotten the offer from Jacobs.”
“And the other?”
He shook his head. “Dark shit came to light, and I needed the mental switch up.”
“Dark shit?”
“It involves Ki’s mother and has fuckin’ cast a dark shadow over my humanity for years. And I’m not stupid, Hayden. You’re fascinated but not committed to being here.”
“I think it’s important for us to get to know each other, especially since you’re so adamant about being in my baby’s life. This is healthy. Dr. Patterson would be proud.” I tried to sound firm as he spun us around in the water.
“It’s necessary for sure. You’ll determine if it’s healthy by reciprocating when the appropriate time comes, Boo-baby.”
Dismissing his invitation to share, I giggled, “This sounds so B613 ’ish. You know. From the show Scandal with Olivia Pope. Covert, spy-work…top secret government agency…”
Ishaan shrugged beautifully with his brows. “Not farfetched at all, which is why you’ll forgive me for lacking details.”
“I can also call you a liar and say you’re trying to impress me.” I was being an ass.
With obvious confidence, Ishaan scoffed, tight abdomen pushing against the bottom of my extended pouch, “Boo-baby, I’ve fucked you already. Lots.” He pulled me up from my lower back until our faces were centimeters apart. “I’ve made you scream with my tongue, hands, and dick. Lots. What’s evidence of it is between us right now.” He referred to my expanded midsection. “And I plan on doing it again. Lots.” His smile was arrogant and delicious at the same damn time. “I didn’t need to impress you when we met. I don’t need to lie to impress you now.” He met my lips for a kiss, again tossing his long tongue into my mouth with propriety I somehow didn’t seem to mind. I was helpless to his sexual prowess.
Of course, I returned his energy, feeling my groin churn in need. I sucked on his tongue, wanting his cock in the same fashion. My hands were at the back of his head when Ishaan pulled from my mouth.
“You wanna learn more, Boo-baby, or do you wanna fuck? I can make either happen.”
I blinked, dumbfounded. I’d never been a horndog. I’d like to think I understood how to have fun when it was time, but being greedy for it? Never.
“Your work in B613 . Continue.”
Ishaan chuckled, eyes to the right of me. “We were moving past that, but I like what you just did right there. I did work for the agency for a few years until I left. The pay was enough for me to not have a single worry while I worked. Mehki’s mother, incidentally, had passed away at this time, leaving me to be a single father. We made it work. I more than had the financial resources to.”
“How long was the vetting process?”
“Two years or more.”
“Shit.”
“And that was short for Jacobs now that I know him. But again, he’d been looking into me. He saw my work with the parties and learned about my combat abilities.”
“Is that all it takes to be a formidable COO?”
“Nah. It takes management skills and critical thinking. Multi-tasking is a must, and inaccessibility can cost you the job.”
“Can you continue to be impactful, wearing your many hats while adding another child to your list of responsibilities?”
A cool smirk cracked on his handsome face. “Is this a fuckin’ job interview?”
My head fell back as I laughed my ass off. When I was able to speak again, I challenged, “In a way, it is. You want to be my child’s father and to control my comings and goings.”
Ishaan’s head fell to the side as he eyed me cautiously. “A few months ago, a friend asked why I am still single. I explained my tendency to pursue everything in life with excellence. It may seem as though I do between my businesses, but I don’t take on much in life. I don’t believe any of us should. We’re gifted in limited areas and master in the same measure. I’m good at what I do. Damn good. Being a father is lots of work as well. I’m not in denial.”
“And when you multiply that by two?”
“Mehki’s mom is gone. Thankfully, my mother is healthy and more than willing to help me with him. But you’re here— will be here—to raise this baby with me. I told you it was important to become friends with you so we can partner on this. It’s of no surprise I have a tight schedule. I need for you to be equipped to take the lead in my absence. I need for you to be okay with that.
“I won’t be able to do nighttime baths and stories regularly. I won’t be at every sporting or social event either, but the other kids and parents will know my name and personality well. Each teacher will be familiar with my physical appearance. And I’ll cover every expense, provide legitimacy, guidance, nurturing, and a present-parenting environment.”
It pained me to remind him, so, I softly yanked at his beard when I did, “I’m not looking for a pot of gold or an easy out. I enjoy taking care of myself. That means my child, too. I’m no gold-digger. I know my cousin is married to your CEO compadre, but we aren’t the type of women who can’t get it on our own. I know I’m just getting to know the adult Rayna, but I heard about her journey before Azmir. I hear what she says now. I can assure you, we speak the same language of independence. The difference is, she’s a wife. I’ll just be your…” I couldn’t say it.
His face brightened, brows lifting. “My baby’s momma?”
My one brow hiked. “I don’t like that term. I’m too sophisticated to be reduced to such illegitimacy.”
“Well, what do you want to be?”
“Ishaan!” I spit out a hard laugh. “I’m fucking with you!” When he smiled, I felt relief. “Don’t go all B613 on a bitch.”
Finally, and graciously, he chuckled. “Okay. Yeah, you got me. I’m trying not to run you off. But real shit, Hayden. Partnership in parenting can mean the difference between a successful adult and an underdeveloped child as an adult. Both parents are equally needed. Black fathers teach their children the realities of life. Evolved mothers teach their children the endless possibilities of it.”
Fuck …
That was one of the most profound and intentional things I’d ever heard from a father, much less a man. Who exactly was this Ishaan Patterson? Son of a psychologist and an infantryman—a title I’d googled to understand and was blown away.
I sobered, eyes casting down to what hung in the balance between us: my belly. “Listen, Ishaan…” I licked my chlorine-stained lips. “I’ve never lied to you about who I am—” An abrupt thought burst. “—other than when we met?—”
“The first two times we met.” Ishaan’s chin was in the air, an expression daring me.
“I know,” I hissed, rolling my eyes, which was childish. He was, for the most part, joking with me. “I just don’t want to allow my— our —obvious attraction to each other get ahead of us.” Finally, I peered him straight into the eyes again. Those long, curled lashes were even more evident now, thanks to his laps earlier. In fact, all of the jet-black hair on his face and head glowed in the nightlight.
“I’m not without issues. I’ve always been honest on the topic with anyone it’s been necessary for me to share with: I don’t trust men. Maybe that extends to women, too. I don’t know. I have a small circle of people in my personal life, and an even smaller number I rely on.” I fortified myself for my next admittance. “I like what you’re selling. I’m glad we’ve talked tonight because it makes you more…human and a potential ally.”
Those dark brows hiked again as a phone rang. “Ally?” he asked, eyes swiping around as he considered it. “I think I can live with that…for now.” Ishaan moved us back toward the ledge of the pool. “But I’m a better friend than I am an ally. I’m a dope ass friend with benefits.” That threw me into a fit of childish giggles. “I need to get this,” he murmured regretfully, while motioning for my thighs with a gentle squeeze to release him.
Ishaan helped me to my feet then moved past me.
My thoughts flowed as I gazed straight ahead at the eating area on the grass. An ally. Where did that come from? Ishaan made me crazy. He was a nice guy—a generous one and a little fair. Well , he was fair. Just a little unreasonable with this tracking shit and trying to tell me where to live.
I turned slowly and was alarmed at the sight of him hanging over the concrete lip of the pool where he’d obviously reached to get his phone. There were two burgundy and brown bruises on his lower, muscular back. In the same area was a scar. An ugly one. It all marred his otherwise even-hued peanut butter skin. How had I missed the healing wound all this time?
“Alright. I’ll look into it tomorrow,” he told the caller. “Yup. Yeah.” There was a beat before he uttered, “Bye.”
Before Ishaan could replace the phone, I relayed, “We talked about a lot, yet you haven’t spoken a word about what in your job description has you coming home with bruises and scars like that!”
Slowly, Ishaan submerged into the pool and turned to me. His eyes shrank in a sexy grin. “I make sure people have a good time and are safe doing it. You know this.”
I shrieked, “But at the expense of you getting beat the hell up?”
His face contorted to an expression of confusion mixed with humor. “I don’t lose fights, Boo-baby.” Ishaan pulled me into his hard body. “I know you saw my back but look at me. Does it look like I lose fights?”
Ishaan’s smile was fucking brilliant. Radiant. His teeth were wonderfully sized and proportioned to his full lips.
“You told me your teeth aren’t real.”
“Because they aren’t.”
“What happened to the real ones?” I swallowed back anxiousness, anticipating his answer.
Ishaan’s smile broadened. “Work.”
“Occupational hazard,” I whispered, understanding. “Ishaan, is this going to be an issue? Like…do I need to be concerned about you not returning home one day? Or you one day visiting my child, minus a limb?”
His hands cupped my face and Ishaan whispered, “Are you asking for yourself or the baby?”
“ Ish —”
“I know,” he whispered into my lips. “You don’t trust me. I don’t like it, but I get it. As you know, I’ve got my own trust issues.”
I struggled to look into his eyes, he was so close to my face. “Then why are you so quick to do this thing with me?”
“Because I have an eagle eye, remember? I see some things in you. Loyalty, steadfastness, immovability, task-mastering, and strength. I can tell you’re so fuckin’ strong, Boo-baby, and I don’t mean that in a flattering way. You recharge yourself from within. You don’t seek outside validation. For me, it’s stubborn as hell, but I’m willing to work with you. The question is, can you work with me?”
Ishaan waited for an answer. An answer I didn’t have. But it likely wasn’t for the reason Ishaan assumed. It was because I was genuinely torn.
He kissed my lips. “It’s getting late. Let’s go inside.”
I felt dejected for him.