Inevitably Love. (Complicated #2)

Chapter 18

Eighteen

T wo women I wasn’t familiar with sang Zhane’s “ Sending My Love ” as Ragee played a keyboard, and a gentleman I didn’t know played bongos. I only knew the name of the song and group because of the lyrics and information being played on a nearby screen. It was a private karaoke night on the beach in a secluded area of the resort. The place was huge and segregated enough for celebrities to enjoy their leisure as well.

There were about thirty people in attendance, including Maaz and Sundryia. Rayna and I were driven here to the resort to attend the gathering. In all honesty, I didn’t want to come. I’d rather wait for Ishaan back at the villa. Fighting against being “that girl,” I acquiesced to my cousins’ desires and came over. I didn’t want them worrying, especially after my miniature meltdown earlier at Sundryia and Maaz’s suite. Azmir had eventually arrived himself, increasing my anxiety about Ishaan’s well-being.

Still, I continued to play it cool, tuning into the superior live entertainment. This was a chill gathering, feeling like there were only friends in attendance. People took pictures and videos, but everyone behaved normally, like we didn’t have multi-nominated and Grammy award-winning artists performing live mere feet away. There were athletes and actors gathered, too. Trent Bailey, the quarterback for the Connecticut Kings , sat not too far from me, swathing his wife with his big frame . She was so damn tiny, it was easy to do.

Earlier, when I went over to the buffet station setup out here under an oakwood and marble veranda, Zendaya was talking to Coco Jones. Out of nowhere, Jamie Foxx sidled up to them, making me cringe. As star struck as my ass was, I was still off his ass.

Young Lord and his wife were in attendance as well. It was clear to me, in under an hour of sharing a space with them, his wife, Kenny, was an outgoing personality, which was clearly opposite of the rap star . She was verbally and physically expressive, sweet, and boisterous. Kenny was extremely pretty, too. I could see how a thug from Paterson would fall for her.

Also, I knew Lord from years ago when he had locs. He and Sundryia were close, coming up together in Paterson. I’d seen him a few times while visiting her when we were younger. Back then he was young, quietly good-looking, reserved around me, and well respected. I never imagined he’d be at the top of the rap food chain in his career. Honestly, I didn’t even know he was a rapper. Young Lord resembled Ishaan a bit. The two definitely had similar complexions.

Ishaan…

Shit!

I dropped my face into my palm.

“ Heeey …” Rayna gently rubbed my thigh as we sat on an oversized patio sofa chair. “What’s going on?”

I snickered, playing it off. “I remember this song! Cousin Deena used to play this.”

Rayna’s attention went straight over to Sundryia, standing near us beneath Maaz. “She did?”

“Deena loved music. She was a big nineties head,” Sundryia shared, eyes straight ahead at the entertainment.

Deena was Sundryia’s aunt we’d lost recently. They were more like sisters, especially after Sundryia’s mother, Deena’s sister, had passed away. I felt like shit bringing her up, but it was partially true. I recalled Deena playing Zhane’s music. The name was rare.

The song ended, and Ragee began teasing Venus Williams about grabbing the microphone next. Rayna left the sofa abruptly as I checked my phone again…stupidly. Over the next few minutes, R&B singer, Mario, was on the makeshift sanded stage deciding on his musical selection. The crowd cackled at his and Raj’s exchange. In spite of my shitty mood, it was cool to have a bird’s eye view of celebrities letting their hair down amongst one another. They’d been in their own cove.

“Hayden!” I heard my name being shouted.

I glanced around, and it wasn’t until Sundryia pointed that I knew who’d called me. “She’s over there with Azmir.”

It was Rayna, waving me over. Without thought, I began scooting off the sofa. Maaz was at my side in an instant, assisting me.

“Easy there, Denny.” His presence was always welcomed. I’d loved Maaz like family since the day I met him. “Chile, Louise Tempest’s great-grand chirren stay knocked up!” he teased.

Grabbing my belly, I hooted with my head tossed back. Maaz kept me cracking up. I sauntered over to Azmir and Rayna on warm sand with sober dispositions. They were sitting at an isolated table. I could see more cellular phones in front of Azmir than I was accustomed to seeing his COO with, which was excessive in and of itself. I didn’t know Rayna’s husband that well. He’d been cool, but it wasn’t every day that you were in the presence of a millionaire from Brooklyn. His security was posted at a short distance from the couple. They were always lurking, which could be intimidating as fuck if I didn’t remind myself of who the man was.

“Hey, boo. Have a seat.” She pulled out a chair between herself and her husband. “Azmir wants to share something with you.”

Immediately, I froze, scared out of my fucking mind. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course, Hayden,” Azmir droned. “Have a seat. Mrs. Jacobs says you have some concerns about our guy, and I just want to provide some assurance.” He held his hand out to assist me into the chair.

“I’m cool. I really am.” I accepted his big hand. “But it’s not every day I have a millionaire help me to a chair at the table, so I’m game.”

Rayna laughed at that.

“You have actually been sharing a villa with one since you’ve been here.” Azmir’s expression wasn’t one of humor. That unrushed comment was so damn blaring. Ishaan? A millionaire? I sat in my seat, attempting to appear to give him my undivided attention. “So, Mr. Patterson,” Azmir began. “I’m not sure how much he’s shared with you about his role at ADJ Enterprise , but Ishaan wears a hat far more diversified than mine as the CEO and that of my CFO. I’m a dreamer and manifester. My CFO is pretty much my wallet. Ishaan, my COO, is my dreamcatcher. What I mean by that is I set a vision for my business, but it is Ishaan who brings my ventures to life and maintains them.”

He continued, almost whispering, “A huge part of his job is safety. I can’t entertain people and not provide protection. My skillset doesn’t allow for that. Ishaan, on the other hand, has several talents specific for each role he plays.”

I rolled my eyes, scoffing, “He makes sure people have a good time and are safe while doing it.” If he described his job one more time that way, I’d choke his ass.

Maybe kiss him first …

… with my tongue .

“Which is essentially true. This small shindig we’re at now,” Azmir motioned with his hands. “…is what Patterson put together. But this is light work compared to opening a resort on a random ass island.” He quickly swiped his nose and licked his lips while looking away. That Brooklyn twang was thick when he shared, “I’m not sure if you know my guy, Jas, over there. He has a daughter with Shi-Shi. I’m sure you know Shi-Shi.” His attention was on his wife as he scoffed, “Every damn body seems to know Shi-Shi.”

Rayna chuckled at that.

“Well, a few years ago, while we were completing construction here at Sun-Bronzed Maroon , she visited Red’s Island with her girls to have a good time. Luckily for us all, Jas came along, too. He got them a rental not too far from the downtown area where the clubs and smaller hotels and resorts are. They were at a club a local gang out here targeted that night for human trafficking. Shi-Shi and her friend were literally minutes away from being kidnapped . In fact, they were accosted. Because she’s with a real nigga who knew to have security when traveling, he was able to save her and the friend?—”

“Oh, my god!” I shrilled, covering my mouth as I looked over to Shi-Shi, holding a cigar. She was bobbing to the music, nestled in a group with her friends and the Jas guy I’d seen her with on Saturday after the Brielle concert. “Are you serious?”

“Indeed,” Azmir replied. “Again, this was before my resort was up and running. So, think about the irony of it all. Of course, Jas lets me know about it. He didn’t even know Patterson had already been out here installing this place.” He swiped his mouth again. “I’m probably talking too much, but the people responsible for Shi-Shi and her friend’s near-demise are no longer a threat to anyone anymore.”

Azmir’s eyes hit me hard, examining me, or further communicating the story. I chanced a glance over to Rayna, whose attention bounced between her husband and me. Then her hands rushed over to grab one of mine in comfort.

“Of course, I invited Jas here in good faith, assuring him his lady and daughter would be safe. Naturally, when Patterson got word of leftover criminals still lurking today, he had to tend to them. Right now, he’s enforcing our no-nonsense presence on a few remaining members of that clique.”

I swallowed hard. “‘The Green Giant’?”

For seconds long, Azmir didn’t respond, and I wasn’t sure he had to. His eyes narrowed and a faux smirk widened his face. “I’ve been speaking to Patterson throughout the entire ordeal. He’s fine. If you’re concerned about his elongated absence, I can respect that. But your worries would be better placed on the people who threaten the stay of Patterson’s guests.”

My attention landed on Mario belting Joe’s “ The Love Song .” Half the audience were on their feet expressing their praise. Notably, Shi-Shi and her friends were whistling with their fingers and swaying hard with hands in the air. It made me wonder if she would have died at the hands of whomever Ishaan was with now, neutralizing. Was the friend who was almost kidnapped here with her?

I turned to my cousin-in-law, not wanting to appear weak from my concern. “Thanks, Azmir. I appreciate you confiding sensitive information about your business to me.”

“Indeed, but only if it helps. Patterson is the best of the best. If he were not, he wouldn’t be on my team. He’s fine and will be here to resume your side as soon as he can. And when he does, know we’re all safer because of him.”

I winked his way, filled with suppressed emotions. No, I was not about to cry about Ishaan lying in the streets of Red’s Island dying. But the anxiety regarding my closely impending future with him wouldn’t turn my ass loose. When I stood, so did Rayna. She hugged me tight.

“He’s fine. You’ll see.”

“Mrs. J,” Azmir thick chords called out to her.

When Rayna glanced his way, he motioned for her to sit on his lap. That let me know my cousin wouldn’t be returning with me. I traversed the small crowd to return to my sofa. Sundryia was laying in my spot and stood when Maaz alerted her of my presence. I crawled back onto the giant sofa and scooted over enough to make room for my cousin. I motioned for her to lay next to me.

“You good?” she asked while getting comfortable again.

I nodded just before the explosion of applause around me. Mario had finished his song. I clapped, remembering the little of it I’d heard while with the Jacobs. That man was so damn fine and had always been. I had the biggest crush on him coming up. Who would’ve thought the first time I shared a space with him I’d have zero interest in shooting my shot? Not that I was an aggressive woman by any stretch of the imagination. The boldest I’d ever been was allowing a man to believe I was a prostitute in Vegas.

“So, who will come to the altar next to lay down your gift?” Raj asked, perched in front of the keyboard. “I know we’ve got more sangin’ saints on the water.”

I laughed along with everyone else at that narrative.

“We’ve got one over here, bishop!” Shi-Shi shouted loud and proud as hell while pointing to a woman with her. Was it the friend nearly human trafficked with her? At first, I couldn’t make out who she was referring to. Her girls were in a ruckus as her baby’s father appeared silently amused. “Take me to the waaaaateeeer …” she sang sillily.

“Okay, saints!” Raj’s deep tenor chirped into the microphone then began singing and playing what sounded like a jingle. “Take me to the waaaaaateeer !”

Folks laughed at him then cheered when Shi-Shi and a friend were able to pull another woman up. The woman seemed hesitant yet amused. She was slender with long, blonde tresses. The sun had set, making it difficult to discern her facial features. That made me wonder if I’d seen the woman before on Shi-Shi’s social media pages. She pretty much vacationed with the same group of friends. Perhaps, she was on her “no new friends” energy like me.

Eventually, four of them were up, front and center, and all their features were illuminated. I knew all the players. They, in fact, were some of Shi-Shi’s regulars. There was the thick woman whose name I believed was Corinne. Then there was the friend of Asian descent. I couldn’t recall her nationality although it had been discussed on Shi-Shi’s social media a lot over the years. Also up there was the reluctant blonde who I recognized, too. Her name didn’t come to mind either, which was sad considering I’d been following Shi-Shi for so long on several platforms.

Raj worked with the staff to set up microphones. The ladies did a little talking off mic, I assumed about the song. The strange thing was all three girls stayed and received microphones. What? Could Shi-Shi sing? Was that a hidden talent of hers. She certainly was the précis of a quintessential woman. The blonde woman and Corinne discussed notes as Shi-Shi stepped up to address the crowd.

“Get ready for Sexual Chocolate!” she joked, stomping her bare feet into the sand.

Shi-Shi’s body was goals. She was a tall woman like Sundryia and me, mere inches away from six feet, but far more fit. Her warm, brown skin was flawless all over in an orange sleeveless, mock neck, cropped shirt synched beneath her breasts. The matching skirt draped around her long frame and reached her feet. She looked amazing. My eyes rolled down to my belly as I cupped it. I made a mental note to seek out a trainer at my gym as soon as I delivered. I wanted a Shi-Shi body for real.

“My name is Shi-Shi. And these are my illustrious besties.” She turned to point at them as she laughed. The girl couldn’t be serious to save her life. I loved that for her. Humor saves and extends life. “Peach, who will be gracing us with her superior vocals. We also have Corinne, who will sing you d ooown . Okuur!” she chirped that last word. “And tonight, we’re lucky to have the gorgeous and ever talented, Shizu!” Shi-Shi laughed so hard with her friends, I didn’t know if they were joking or not. “Bear with your girl as I’m the one without vocal abilities. But I’ve been told I can fake it till I make it.” She twirled her hips. “Take us to church, Peach!”

The girl was always a good time. And I cracked the hell up!

Then she backed up, taking her place at the end of the line, next to Shizu. Corinne, Shizu, and Shi-Shi were angled so they could sing to the small audience but also see the lyrics on the karaoke screen. The artist, Faith Evans’, name and image appeared. The title of the song was “ Come Over .” The song didn’t ring a bell. After a signal was given to Raj and the other musicians, they began to play.

Corinne, Shizu, and Shi-Shi began a two-step not dissimilar to professional singers and began belting lyrics. Not too bad . When it was time for Peach to sing lead, I noticed her side was to us and her face to the sanded floor. As she continued, her vocals were strong, and she was in control of each note and melody. The song—Peach’s song—was about a lover she craved intimately—a lover she’d had a peppered history with. Beyond that, the undercurrent message was a woman boldly expressing the sexual and providential presence of a man. She wasn’t asking to be led. Peach was requesting to be joined. She was longing. In need.

Ishaan …

By the second verse, it was clear to me Peach was practiced with a microphone. However, she didn’t like the attention. It didn’t matter. The entire audience was enraptured by her soulfully edgy notes. Some were fluid and others strained with palpable emotion.

“There it is!” Raj shouted while playing the keyboard excitedly.

Peach drew a picture by way of her lungs and chords—her magnetic energy. Her need wasn’t rash. It wasn’t random. She’d decided on the man she was requesting. Their relationship wasn’t without error, yet still, she chose him to make love to her. The girl didn’t just sing, eventually she began belting with high emotion. There was even a point in her performance when she faced the water as her knees buckled.

“Daaaaaamn!” Sundryia shouted next to me. “She’s fuckin’ it all the way up!”

Fuck .

I closed my eyes, feeling his heated and stiff flesh on the pads of my fingers.

Minus an extensive history, I’d had something similar with Ishaan. I’d been more intimate with him than I had with any other man. My ex, Raymond, and I were together for a long time. And we’d fucked regularly, according to our timeline. But passion to create a craving had never been my experience with him. That was what Faith Evans was conveying well via Peach, who’d grabbed a fist-full of her long, wavy tresses as her spine curled over. Promises to make love every day began to populate on my mental to-do list.

In that moment, I’d decided. I wanted a passionate history with a real man. A manly man. Ishaan was all alpha with no apologies, but he’d been trying to make room for me in the most intimate part of his life: his home. His bed. As Shi-Shi and her besties backed up Peach with hip swings and arm sways, I considered some shit. Could I align with a man who, one night, may not make it home to our child? To me? My eyes closed in torture.

Come back in one piece, Ish …

Please .

Raj’s big body was on his feet now. Peach was taking us to church against just the drums. Teeming with energy, Peach was leading us all into an emotional zone. Instead of playing, Raj supported the backup singers with his powerful tenor for a few minutes. This was a different Ragee than I encountered in Vegas back in February. He was a curator today. A student of the art.

At this point, most of the crowd was on its feet. That forced Sundryia and me to our knees to see the action. Cameras were flashing and video’ing the performance. Arms were waving left to right. A moment had been conjured on this beach. This was more than entertainment. It was moving. As crazy as it sounds, this was spiritual.

A big, firm hand clasped my shoulder. Registering right away its proximity to my neck, my head dropped, and eyes closed. My belly fluttered and lungs emptied simultaneously. I twisted my neck to sniff his arm. It was him. My guy was here, tickling my clit without touching it, causing me goosebumps with his simple presence. Beyond that, he touched my heart, fulfilling his promise. When Ishaan’s grip transitioned into a deep massage to subdue me, I didn’t fight against it at all. I willingly relaxed and gave way to his dominance.

I shivered when I felt him at my ear before he droned, “Boo-baby?—”

“I’m ready to go,” I made sure I was able to carry over the boisterous crowd.

His lips were soft against my ear. “Say goodnight.”

Ishaan released my shoulder and, weakly, I turned to Sundryia. She’d already been watching me, so when I used my thumb to point to Ishaan, she nodded excessively in understanding.

He assisted me off the oversized sofa then threaded us through the crowd.

Wap!

Wap!

Wap!

Wap!

The sounds of our flesh meeting were as loud as his brute grunts. Even the rattles from the bed couldn’t rival our rioting lungs. His horse-powered thrusts were unrelenting. My fists clenched the pillows as I struggled against threatening pleasure waves to hold steady. Ishaan pounded into me from behind like a starved man. He gripped the fat of my hips like he needed me. Each aggressive plunge into me reverberated against my clit, rendering me weak and delirious.

With both of her soft hands, I watched her stroke my shit with perfect pressure. Her tongue roved over the head of my shit with an open mouth, spreading my pre-cum around. And she looked me in the eyes, wanting to show me how forward she was about my pleasure. My thighs vibrated as I paced myself, feeling my damn orgasm warming my balls. But I wasn’t ready.

The sight of her divine and femininely swollen body on her knees, using her elbows at times to gather and squeeze her engorged tits together, couldn’t be rushed. My head was loose over my neck and my eyes were heavy. I could feel her saliva run down my sac. When she resumed deep-throating me, taking my head past the back of her tongue then gagging, my spine jerked. But I wasn’t ready.

Damn …

Her head bobbed and bobbed as her hands stroked. When she pulled me from her throat, it broke a rhythm, staving off my orgasm. My head fell back onto the sofa. I was grateful as hell for that. This shit zoned me out. It created a mental escape where only Hayden and I existed—a place where my needs were unusually prioritized over the world’s. Fuck no, I wasn’t trying to blow just yet.

But in less than two minutes, Boo-baby worked us into a new cadence, fisting me and flickering her tongue over my head. My abs vibrating had my hand racing to the base of my shit where I squeezed to control the blood flow.

I leaned over, grabbing her with my free hand at the neck and kissing her deep. Hayden moaned into my mouth, her thumb silkily roving over the head of my cock. I pushed my tongue into hers and she began to suck on it softly. Her moans turned into mewls as though she was begging to please me in any way she could. Within seconds, my orgasm had retreated, so I pulled back from her hungry mouth.

Fisting myself, I mumbled, “Finish.”

Greedily, Hayden resumed sucking me off, and I let go of my dick to allow her to resume blowing my damn mind.

His tongue roved up, bringing with it a dollop of my arousal hanging from the tip. I bit my bottom lip as his head dipped and continued to lick my clit.

I lay on my side as Ishaan’s head moved against my thigh planted on the mattress. The other one he held in the air as he tongue-kissed my most sacred place. His eyes were half-mast yet locked on me. Those lips and mouth worked. Licking, stroking, and sucking. He was etching an erotic memory in my mind I’d never forget. I wasn’t sure if he knew that. But something inside me was melting—and I didn’t mean proof of my sensual desire for him. My body had yielded to Ishaan’s being since the first night I’d met him.

This felt like something different. Time had suspended over us, and in this moment, I didn’t feel any opposition to him. It didn’t feel like I’d just met this man. As he drew soft pulls from my swollen clit while peering me directly in the eyes over my mound, a dissolve was taking place on the inside.

The feel of puffing movements of his lips…

One…

Two…

“ Ishaaa… ” I cried, pelvis rocking into his face. My eyes remained pinned to his as I exploded. “ Uhhhh. ”

I watched in bliss as liquids shot from me, splattering over his face. Ishaan didn’t move or wince. With a busy mouth, he watched my resolve for him completely dissolve.

Rubbing my face while stepping out of the bathroom, my body ached all over. Beyond tired, I was fucking exhausted. It was close to two in the morning, and I was looking forward to sleeping in late. As I approached the bed, my steps halted.

On my heels, having just showered with me, was Hayden. “Shit…” she whispered, stopping at my side.

The white sheets were visibly damp. I glanced over to her. “No more head for you.”

Her head reared in a stunned reaction. “We’re eliminating oral?”

I shook my head, eyes low. “No more head only for you.”

“Why?”

“Because your shit is so messy, Boo-baby.”

She leaned into my back, belly first. “It’s the pregnancy. I’d never squirted before that time in your pantry.”

I looked at her from over my shoulder. “Then no more head until you have the baby.”

“No more oral for the two of us?” she repeated.

“I know what you’re trying to do and it ain’t going down like that. When I blow, it’s neat and clean down your throat. When you explode, it’s all over my face and the floor…or the bed…or wherever we are.”

She lay her head on my shoulder. “I thought you liked it.”

“I love it.” I yawned. “But now I’m tired as fuck and can’t get in my bed.”

“We can try another bedroom.” Her arms snaked around my waist, hand gripping my dick.

I glanced down my body to see her pink nails softly claw at me.

Shit …

“It’s almost two in the morning, Boo-baby.”

“And I’m wired.”

I glanced back at her. “Being pregnant makes you insatiable, too?”

Hayden shook her head against my shoulder. “No. Not seeing you again after this morning and the possibility of my baby never knowing you does.”

I hung my head.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“I have an idea. Throw on some clothes and grab your sandals.”

“Sex cures a lot,” I snorted. “But it doesn’t trump communication, Boo-baby. You’ve got to tell me what’s going on.”

At this late hour, even the ocean was at rest. But the moon was thriving in the night sky. Under it, Hayden and I relaxed on an outdoor daybed on the beach. The cover was drawn over the pillows I lay against. Toward the foot of the bed, Hayden sat on her legs seiza style. Her hands roved over her belly.

When she didn’t reply, I went there. “It’s about earlier. About me leaving for work abruptly and not spending the day with you as planned. Right?”

Her eyes were down the beach when she murmured. “You protect everybody. Azmir told me.”

My brows lifted. Low key that surprised me and I asked lazily, “What did he tell you?”

“He told me about Shi-Shi’s kidnapping.” Hayden’s head slowly turned to face me.

“What about it?”

Her lips twisted at first. “How the people you were…pursuing today had something to do with human trafficking.”

Okay …

“The person I addressed today was a member of a gang who’s done a lot of foul shit on this island. Human trafficking, or the attempt, as in Shi-Shi’s case, is just one of many ways they pollute this beautiful place. Does that make you feel unsafe here?”

She shook her head. “It makes me wonder if you won’t return one day.”

“I will come home, Hayden. I’ve been at this long enough to know what I’m doing. I don’t go wandering off like a superhero, taking on criminals alone. I’ve curated a formidable team. We’re military grade, and I trust them with my life. The work is ugly, but necessary.” Again, Hayden didn’t speak for a while. I’d seen her embattled like this too many times since learning of her pregnancy. I was too damn tired tonight to apply patience. “Hay de ?—”

“Since being with you—meeting you… In fact, it happened the first night we met…after we…” She bit her lip before murmuring, “…you know. I’ve been dreaming about my father. It’s something that started after meeting him. Then it slowed down a lot in my twenties. But since meeting you, I dream of him often.”

“What happens in the dreams?”

“What always happens.” Her gaze remained down on the beach. “I’m content being in his presence.” Her head seesawed. “I’m talkative. He’s rushing to leave. He always has to go get something or be somewhere else and promises to come right back.”

“Does he come back?”

I saw her eyes well with tears against the moonlight. When Hayden’s lips began to tremble, she bit them together and took a fortifying breath. She was struggling. “Only in my dreams. But then he leaves all over again, and I…” She took a deep breath. “And I’m left feeling…bereft. Lonely. Alone.”

My eyes shot wide, and I shook my head softly. “You don’t trust men,” I whispered my realization. She’d said it to me a gazillion fucking times over the past few months. “You’re never going to trust me.”

“I’m going to stay with you…in Alpine.” Her eyes closed and she shook her head. “The baby and I will stay at your place in Alpine indefinitely.”

I smiled in spite of my aching body and tight face from fatigue. She agreed to a length, although I’d already put one out there. “I’m going to have a bedmate indefinitely? I can get used to that.” She shrugged then shook her head. Hold up … “You want your own room?”

Biting her lip, Hayden gazed out onto the water. “Not now. No. But what if?”

I scoffed, “Okay. So, you’re saying you’ll commit to staying at my place in Alpine indefinitely, but you may want your own room? Boo-baby,” I croaked, tired as hell. “…that doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“I know. And I’m not saying I want my own room. I’m just asking…” Her eyes arrived to me. “…if this thing— we —don’t work out, wouldn’t it make sense for me to have my own room just in case it doesn’t?”

She wasn’t all that coherent. “Why are we banking on it not working?”

“You said it yourself: you haven’t had many girlfriends, neither have you wanted relationships.”

I scoffed, “That doesn’t mean I can’t be in one. There’s a baby in the picture now.”

She shook her head again. “I don’t want you to want me for the baby. I want you to come home every night to be with me.” I snickered. “What’s so funny?”

I yanked at my ear. “That comment was fuckin’ striking.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s similar to something Brielle said to me on Saturday about being expected at the end of the day. Or some shit like that. I think hearing you say it, brings it home for me.”

“Wait. Why would Brielle make a comment like that to you?”

“To be honest, I really don’t know. Felt like I encountered her at an introspective time in her life, maybe?” I shook my head. “I don’t know. But she mentioned wanting that. And if I could have what you made me feel tonight after my long ass days, I think I’d be a changed man.” I nodded. “That’s what you call quality of life—some shit my therapist always talks about.”

“But what if we don’t work? What if we weren’t meant for more than a fun rump in Vegas and Atlantic City?”

“And what if we do? What if we’re meant to start a legacy like my mom has been bitchin’ about?”

She shook her head and repeated, “What if we don’t work?”

“What if you fuck around and make me an honest man, Boo-baby?” The thought of that shit made my stomach jolt.

Low key, I was scared as fuck—scared to further hurt and disappoint this girl. But what would it cost to try?

Hayden crawled over and settled beneath my arm and into my chest. Without thought, my hand went straight to her belly.

“The baby’s awake,” I noted.

“ Mmmhmmm ,” she hummed. “I’m finally tired. All this talk about us being together has worn my ass out.”

“We can sleep out here if you want.”

“I’m going to have to pee a million times before the break of day.”

“You can quietly carry your little ass right out there to the water then come back. Just don’t drown.”

She laughed. “What if I get eaten by a shark?”

“ Shiiit ,” I hummed, exhausted as hell. “Then that muthafucka’s gonna know a secret I’ve known for months.”

“What’s that?” She adjusted her head on my chest.

I yawned. “That you taste good as fuck.”

Hayden’s laugh lasted a few seconds as I dozed the hell off.

“Ishaan…” I caught her whisper on my descension into siesta. “Did you…kill the ‘Green Giant’ today?”