Chapter 13 #2
The entire table turned to Bernard. The man served as our anchor, the sound of reason as I threatened to kill people, Griffin acted aloof, or Alejandro turned into a nympho.
Like me, his job depended on the superhero community, but where I could fall back on being a run-of-the-mill paramedic, his entire field focused on heroes. It couldn’t be easy.
“Maybe?” It was the best I could afford him.
“I hope so,” Alejandro chewed through his toast like it was one of his men. “I can’t remember the last time I got laid.”
“You could have sex with normal men?”
He gasped as if I insulted his mother. “Once you’ve had a gang bang with the Duplicator, you can never go back.”
“Is he the one who makes clones?”
Griffin rolled his eyes as if I had made a fool of myself. “You’re thinking of the Multiplier.”
“Wait, I thought the Multiplier was the guy who could grow body parts?” Apparently, I needed to buy myself some superhero flash cards.
“That’s Magnifier,” Bernard said. “Griffin is judging you.”
I eyed Griffin, his eyes burning a hole through my head.
There were a lot of things I was good at.
I could intubate a patient blindfolded. There wasn’t a vein capable of hiding from my needle.
I also knew every household agent to get rid of bodily fluids.
However, I was willing to concede, nobody knew heroes better than Griffin.
There was a temptation to ask him questions, to jeopardize my alter ego, to access some of his wisdom.
“I finally thanked Aiden.” I decided to avoid sharing my secret identity.
“With your penis?” Alejandro dropped his toast. Pushing the plate aside, he rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward. “I want details.”
“Not like that.” Yes, just like that. I’m sure my cheeks were turning red, revealing my lie.
“Liar,” Bernard said as he took a swig of coffee.
“I mean—”
“Don’t you even think about lying?” I’m certain Bernard didn’t stop drinking while he spoke.
“The man saved my life. I went to tell him I appreciated it.”
“With. Your. Penis.”
Alejandro dodged a sugar packet I tossed at his head. “I thanked him.” I shoved a piece of bagel in my mouth. “Wifmahpeenas.” Coy wasn’t part of my playbook. But with the three of them staring, I suddenly felt the need to hide. I prayed the Sentient Squid returned and laid waste to the coffee shop.
“?Es todo, cabrón!.” Alejandro held up his hand as if he deserved a high-five. More than once, we had shared a celebration over a conquest, but this time it didn’t seem appropriate.
“Wait,” Griffin jumped in. “You stayed the night?”
Bernard set down his coffee cup, shaking his head. “Griffin, it wasn’t so long ago you had that look on your face.”
“You mean…” Griffin leaned back in his chair. The newest member of the breakfast club slowly nodded his head. I was about to reach for the underside of the table and flip it.
“You have feelings for Aiden.”
“Feeling in his pants,” Alejandro said. He was prepared to throw up a hand for another high-five, but paused. “None of you are any fun.”
“Let’s not make it a thing,” I begged.
“It’s already a thing,” Griffin replied.
“It’s not.”
Bernard raised an eyebrow. “You’re acting like it's a thing.”
“He has a thing,” Griffin added.
“I hate you both.”
Bernard’s hand slid under the table, resting on my bouncing leg. He gave it a squeeze. “Eventually you’ll admit it.”
I had plenty of things to hide right now, but my encounter with Aiden wasn’t one of them. Long ago, I had forbidden them from discussing my relationships over breakfast. No matter how many times I threatened to punch them, they persisted.
I balled my fists on the table. “There’s nothing to admit.”
“This is a reason to celebrate. Chad,” Alejandro yelled at the owner, “a round of coffee for my companions. We’re celebrating.”
The barista was usually the first to nose his way into the conversation.
Sweet and overly concerned with his patrons, Chad had a way of being disarming, funny, and uplifting in everything he did.
However, as he walked over with a pot of coffee, he poured without commentary.
His lack of input bordered on supernatural.
“Chad…” I reached out, tugging on his arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine.” Fine. The word used by those who felt anything but. I had to wonder if his usual peppiness was a superpower, and now he functioned like the rest of us. While he tended to be a bit more than I could handle, the morose body snatcher was not an improvement.
“I, for one, am happy Xander found somebody.” Griffin poured creamer into his coffee, ruining the cup as it turned a khaki color. “I thought at any moment he was going to be court-ordered into anger management.”
My fist smacked the table, rattling the silverware enough that a momentary hush passed through the HideOut.
I wanted to be angry with Griffin. It wasn't news that I had an issue with my temper.
I spent years drifting from one employer to another, unable to “knuckle under.” But as nails dug into my palm, I was angrier that the joking came with an air of truth.
“I didn’t mean—”
“You did,” I said.
Our dynamic had shifted. Without Bernard to mediate our extremes, we were teetering on a total friendship collapse. Unlike my younger self, I knew when it was time to remove myself from a situation. Sure, it wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it kept me from lashing out verbally, or worse.
“I have to head to work.” I tossed a twenty on the table as I pushed my chair back.
“Tomorrow?” Griffin asked. It was a peace offering, a sign that I wouldn’t let this drag me away from the others.
“We’ll see.” I’m sure it sounded petty, but it was the best I could promise myself. If I had given in to anger, I’d have flipped the table, given them each the finger and stormed off. I could control it. I had to control it. What worried me most—a part of me didn’t want to.
“Wait, papi.” Alejandro put money on the table. “I need arm candy and you’re going my way.”
Great, just great.
We had walked nearly three blocks through the Ward.
We passed red brick storefronts holding quaint mom-and-pop shops, one of the charming aspects of this part of Vanguard City.
Alejandro’s loft was another block away, marking the midpoint between the HideOut and the ambulance bay.
In the years I had known Alejandro, he had never gone this long without talking.
His silence had grown more unnerving than his frequent rattlings.
“I can’t take it anymore. This is the longest you’ve ever been silent. What is going on?”
He linked his arm through mine. On an evening out, it might be a romantic gesture. Two burly men, however, sauntering down the sidewalk made walking incredibly awkward. Thankfully, I found just about everything about our friendship lacking grace.
“You mean, me acting out of character is freaking you out? You don’t say. The irony is—”
“Did you just keep your mouth shut for four blocks to make a point?”
“I died a little on the inside.”
I stopped walking, jerking his arm so that he stopped.
He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to launch into a monologue.
All I could do was laugh. It had been years since I met Alejandro, and I thought the man’s weakness was silence.
If left to his own devices, he’d ramble on for hours.
Tears formed in the corner of my eyes as I struggled to catch my breath.
“Bernard is acting weird. Griffin went an entire meal without mentioning comics. And you,”—he poked me in the chest— “you’re being the weirdest of all.”
“How am I being weird? Because of Aiden?”
“Xander, I’ve never lied to you.” The others might dance around a topic, but Alejandro had a knack for cutting right to the chase. I had watched him tend bar, and he could charm the pants off even the noblest of heroes, but he never needed a silver tongue. “Let me be blunt. You have anger issues.”
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re not the first—”
“Papi.” He put a hand on my chest and stepped within my bubble. We were close, very close. The proximity had me holding my tongue. “I’m not sure if it’s work or if something else is going on in your life, but it reminds me of the Xander I first met.”
Years ago, Alejandro had been standing at the bar trying to get himself another gin and tonic.
Two guys decided they wouldn’t take no for an answer.
He had been polite when he refuted their advances, but I had broken a nose, arm, and half a dozen fingers when they didn’t take the hint.
If it hadn’t been for Alejandro dragging me off them, I’d have crushed one of their skulls with a bar stool.
“Ouch.” That hurt more than I cared to admit. Here I thought I had been making progress.
“Bernard is the dad of the group. Griffin is our baby brother. Xander, you're the overprotective big brother. You don’t get mad at us. You never get mad at us.”
“It’s happened before.”
“Tell me when. I’ll wait.”
“I…” I sorted through the numerous times Bernard had to talk me down. I might have threatened to kill Griffin’s boss, Alejandro’s co-workers, and basically every man who broke up with any of them. “Well, damn.”
“I thought therapy was doing you some good.”
“Wait.” I had never told any of them about seeing a therapist. Granted, I had only gone a half dozen times before I decided reliving my childhood was counterproductive. “How did you know about that?”
“I have my ways.”
“Thank God you’re cute.”
“I do every day.”
“Take care of yourself, handsome. I rather like my big brother willing to defend my honor. But let it be for a good reason and not because you’re a giant man-child having a tantrum.”
Speechless. Nearly. “Wait, who are you in this dysfunctional family?”
“The sexy middle child.”
He patted me on the cheek before sliding his arm through mine again. Apparently, we had moved past the pep talk portion of the morning.
“Tell me about Aiden.”
“It’s not a thing,” I repeated myself, hoping it’d sink in.
“Somebody protests too much. Stop being a jerk and tell me about him.”
“He has a knack for being in the wrong place at the right time.”
“So you two have that in common.”
“He works at Revelations with Griffin’s boyfriend. I’m not sure what he does right now, but he thinks he blew his chance at being a reporter. He’s trying to make a name for himself.”
“Ambition? So far, it sounds good.”
“He has this na?ve belief that he can make a difference by reporting the truth. Can you believe it? When has the truth done the world any good?”
“’Cause lying is such a noble pursuit.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
We stopped in front of Alejandro’s building. This part of the Ward had a smattering of old mills that had been converted into industrial-style apartments. It served as Alejandro’s base of operation, or his den of sin, depending on who you asked.
“I need you to close your eyes.”
Eyes narrowed, brows scrunched, and a sour expression tugged at my lips. I was about to protest, expecting him to slap me across the face. It took a moment before I remembered being shot and the lack of bullet holes in my skin. Suddenly, nothing Alejandro could manage seemed to be worrisome.
“Do it, scaredy-cat.”
I closed my eyes. Do your worse, Alejandro. I’m ready for you.
“I want you to imagine Aiden the last time you said goodbye.”
“What are—”
“Do it!”
The long, exasperated sigh made it clear what I thought of his exercise.
But I played along. Aiden had slipped into a t-shirt and a pair of loose-fitting boxers.
They had never been my favorite, but seeing the curve of his ass in them, I’d have to reconsider my bias.
While his lower half was memorable, it was the way his eyes darted back and forth as he debated how our encounter was going to end.
I answered his insecurity with tenderness.
One hand caressed his cheek while the other pulled at his waist. With only inches between us, I wanted to fill him…
with confidence. It wasn’t until he leaned forward, his forehead resting against mine, that I realized my own insecurities might have found their way to the surface.
I already plotted a reason to return and stand with my knuckles hovering over his door.
The last words I said before kissing him goodbye were, “Next time, I’ll bring my bathing suit.”
“Xander.” Alejandro poked me in the forehead. “Earth to Xander.”
“Sorry.” Nope, not even a little sorry.
“It’s unsettling to see a smile on your face.”
“I smile.” Okay, the last time I remembered smiling this much was when Bernard accidentally poured salt in his coffee. I didn’t dare laugh out loud at his plight, but I couldn’t hide the grin.
“Nobody is getting hurt and you’re smiling.” I needed to find new friends. “I don’t know what Aiden did to you. But every time you say his name…”
If ever I regretted opening my mouth, it’d be with the next three words. “I like him.”
Alejandro patted me on the cheek. “Now that you’ve admitted what the rest of us already knew, we can get on with our lives.”
“Jerk.”
“It’s a curse always being right.”
I liked Aiden. If anybody else made the same statement, we’d all have nodded and returned to the previous conversation. Hell, Alejandro fell in love at least twice a week. But me? There were booty calls I enjoyed having a casual relationship with, but I didn’t treat them like my little spoon.
“You’re doing it again.”
I growled. It was one thing to have an epiphany about wanting to see Aiden again, even if he was clothed. It was another to have somebody policing the expressions on my face. I’d have to practice in the mirror so I could dodge Alejandro.
“Before I go…” He let the words trail off, his attempt at being coy. It was only a matter of time before he transformed from the caring friend back into his usual sex fiend self.
“I’m not telling you about the sex.”
“That good?”
I couldn’t hide the grin if I tried. “Yeah.” Even as my body recalled the feeling of Aiden under me, my cheeks warmed. “It was very good.”
“Is it going to be good again?”
Sly, Alejandro, very sly.