Chapter 9 Shadow Friends #2
I wanted to reach for her, but I didn’t think she’d welcome comfort right now. She seemed to be trying to mask her deeper feelings from me.
“I went to a birthday party for my friend Crystal. Her mom got up and headed toward the bathroom. When she got near me, I looked down, afraid to be caught staring.”
“Why were you staring? Why were you afraid?” A sudden sinking feeling coiled in my stomach.
“I don’t know. I mean, I got this weird feeling back on the playground when I ran into her by accident. She wasn’t mean and didn’t scold me, just made sure I was fine before I went to play.”
I nodded, listening, but didn’t want to interrupt with more questions.
“But I couldn’t shake the feeling. It scared me, but I couldn’t stop watching her.
Kinda like how animals will stop and become hyperaware of their surroundings when birds stop singing.
They don’t know what’s wrong, but they know something is.
Anyway, curiosity won out. I looked up when she reached my table, but Crystal’s mom was gone. ”
“Gone?”
“Mmhm. Gone.”
“I don’t get it.”
“A creature with smooth graphite skin and long gangly arms sagging to its knees stood there wearing Crystal’s mom’s sundress.
” She shook her head with a crooked smile.
“It sounds silly now, but it was so scary. I still remember how its black nails clacked together when its long fingers twitched. Wanna know the really creepy part?”
“What’s that?”
“Its bald head glowed red through its thin skin. I could see it pulsing like a heartbeat—like its brain was a light source. The eyes glowed the same way. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.”
My blood chilled.
A qualnether.
Damned Shyrlivi cast out of Elyrdin; the ones who never made it past Feranzis on their trek to Moicae. Their moral corruption grew so strong that the land’s darker magic consumed them before they reached the outer lands.
I shuddered. I hated them.
They were more dangerous than lesser infernals. Vicious like those from Moicae, but intelligent enough to use that violence in terrifying ways.
That one had found its way to Earth, and the fact it hadn’t killed Rae only deepened the mystery of what made her so special.
“I screamed and screamed until I blacked out. When I woke up, I was in the backseat of my parents’ car, and they were arguing.”
“Why?”
“My dad wasn’t happy it happened to me, too.”
My brow lifted.
“He didn’t wanna accept that I now saw what Mom always said she saw. But he knew. He believed me—but not about the monsters. To him, I was hallucinating like Mom and Grandma.”
I frowned when she laughed it off, as if it wasn’t sad her dad rejected her truth.
“Still, when he finally came to terms with it, it made life easier knowing I had them and Grandma on my side—even if it meant a lifetime of seeing what no one else did.”
She looked over at me with a sardonic smile. “It’s not hallucinations, is it?”
Swallowing proved difficult, but I forced the lump down. “No. It isn’t.” I wouldn’t tell her exactly what she saw, but I wouldn’t lie. I promised. It didn’t feel right to hide it.
Her words confirmed some humans saw infernals. But it also made it clear someone kept a gate to Niemna open, allowing others to possess humans. To what end, and for how long, I didn’t know.
It frustrated me whenever a rift opened between worlds because it created chaos on Earth, even when we handled it quickly.
The way Rae talked, she’d had a constant experience throughout her life, which either confirmed the theory of an always-open gate we’re unaware of, or that unauthorized infernals had learned to mask themselves from the council.
She flopped back onto her pillow and looked up at the ceiling. “I spent my entire life trying to ignore them. After I got in trouble for playing with my shadow friends in second grade, I knew I wasn’t normal and needed to stay quiet to avoid being medicated.”
“They interacted with you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Did they hurt you?”
“No. They weren’t scary like whatever possessed Crystal’s mom. At least, I didn’t think so. I don’t know if they did it on purpose not to scare me, but they always had shadowy smoke around them, so I never saw their bodies. They’d sit with me while I played or hosted tea parties for them.”
“Tea parties?” I couldn’t help but laugh, and she swatted at me. “That’s cute. Did they also interact with you?”
The whole thing sounded strange. Ezra’s dad was the only one who permitted entry from the infernal plane to Earth—unless someone kept an open gate. But who had that kind of power? And what species would even bother disguising themselves just to sit with a human child?
“Not really. I mean, they sat around with me. I didn’t feel so alone when they were there.
They didn’t touch anything or speak. But having them there when all the other kids kept their distance was all I needed.
Before I knew better, I talked about them.
My friends’ parents told them not to hang out with me. ”
She placed a hand over her chest and grasped something beneath her shirt.
“Kids aren’t born with biases, you know? Shunning someone because they don’t fit an adult’s definition of ‘normal’ isn’t something they come into the world feeling. It’s learned behavior. My shadow friends made life bearable, even if seeing the other demons was hard.”
Movement at the door caught my eye, and I looked over to see Cyn standing there with his arms crossed. A muscle in his jaw tensed when our eyes met. I suspected he heard everything—or at least the important parts. When he turned away and left, I turned back to her.
She hadn’t noticed his presence.
He’d likely tell the others to bring them up to speed. Sharing her background made me uncomfortable, but it could be vital in discovering how she summoned us. And technically, it was Cyn—not me—who would share, but it didn’t ease my guilt.
I shifted on the bed, studying her profile.
She seemed comfortable with me, and I didn’t know how to process that. More than that, her presence made me feel at home, even when home never felt like home.
I rubbed at my sternum as that same strange awareness pressed against me. My body kept trying to tell me something, but my brain wasn’t getting the memo.
Trying to shake the feeling, I asked, “Is that why you seem comfortable around us?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’ve always had those shadowy friends, then you’re used to non-humans who aren’t hostile. I wondered if that’s why instead of freaking out, you’ve acted fine with us, even knowing what we are.”
Her willingness to roll with the punches last night seemed strange, until I knew more about what she grew up experiencing. Though I had the feeling what she shared was only half of it.
“I don’t know. Maybe?” She rolled her head on the pillow to look at me. “Though I wouldn’t say comfortable is the right word. At least not with some of you.”
“Some? You’re not comfortable with all of us?”
She scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Ezra might as well be holding a sign saying, ‘don’t come near me if you want to live,’ and don’t get me started on Cyn.”
I laughed. Cyn was complicated, but he wasn’t bad. “Cyn doesn’t like when he feels threatened.”
“Threatened?”
“Yeah.” I picked at the loose sheet beneath me.
“I guess he’s probably feeling threatened by whatever brought us here.
I mean, we don’t know what’s really behind it—or who.
Sure, you summoned us, but how that book got on Earth, and why you understood a ritual when the rest of the pages aren’t in a human’s language…
” I shook my head. “I don’t blame him for feeling threatened. ”
She looked down as if considering my words.
“And Ezra? He’s gotta be in control. Always. You summoned him against his will, which took his control away.”
Ezra hadn’t acted hostile toward Rae, but I noticed his demeanor shift when he discovered she was the reason we ended up on Earth. He’d kept his distance ever since—not that he spoke much to her prior to the revelation.
“It’s not like I did it on purpose.”
I chuckled at her put-out tone. “Still happened.”
“Well, those two aren’t like you and Ash. You’re both nice.”
“Nice enough you’re okay with me in your bed?”
She spluttered, making me laugh. “What? No. No! I don’t invite random men into my bed—demon or no demon.”
“So you’re saying I’m special?” I fluttered my eyelashes.
She huffed. “You’re impossible.”
“It’s okay to have favorites, you know.”
Rolling her eyes, she put a hand on her forehead. “Honestly, I have no idea why I didn’t freak out. Or why I haven’t thrown you out of the bed already.” She still hadn’t tossed me out on my ass, and I called that a win. “Maybe I’m not ready to face the day and what it means.”
She looked over at me, a flash of something in her eyes I couldn’t place. I hadn’t spent enough time with her to read her expressions, but her gaze carried vulnerability.
“But there’s something else. Something nostalgic about you. I almost wanna say it’s how I felt with my shadow friends, but a lot stronger than that.”
My mouth went dry at her words, and it took several swallows to feel like I wouldn’t choke on the invisible force constricting my throat.
I knew other Shyrlivi experienced similar reactions when they were mates, but with her being a human, I couldn’t understand why we felt that way about each other.
Maybe there wasn’t a reason. Maybe I was thinking too deeply… again.
I didn’t want Rae—not like that. I didn’t think, at least.
She was attractive, and her scent did all kinds of things to me, but these feelings of connection went beyond that.
So maybe I did want her like that, but I wouldn’t act on it.
Not only because everything confused me, but because I wouldn’t embarrass myself when I didn’t know how long we’d be stuck on Earth.
Besides, unlike some people, I wanted my first time to mean something. Not just because my partner turned me on.
“I think we should get up,” I finally said, breaking the silence, needing distance before I did something stupid. “The others are probably awake now and will wonder where I am. I don’t think you want them finding me in your bed.”
She cringed. “Yeah, no. Let’s not have that on top of everything else.” She threw the covers off her legs and stood.
Her small shorts revealed the tattoo of a half clock face, half dream catcher on the front of her thigh. Leaves and flowers framed the clock’s side, and dainty chains with small gems hung from the dream catcher instead of feathers.
She stretched and paused, staring at me. “What?”
Heat crawled up my neck, and I cleared my throat. “I like your tattoo,” I said, gesturing to her leg. “What’s the design on your arm?”
She tugged the sleeve of her oversized T-shirt higher and walked over to show me the huge seascape wrapping her arm, made up of bright coral and sea creatures I’d only read about but never seen.
Before I could touch the colorful piece of art like I wanted, she withdrew her arm and stepped away. “I need to get dressed.”
“You are dressed.”
“I am not going downstairs in these.” She motioned to her shorts, drawing my gaze to her legs again.
“I’m not seeing anything wrong with what you’re wearing.”
She stepped back and gestured at the door.
I held my hands up and backed away.
Though I hated leaving, I knew I’d helped distract her from her grief. I didn’t want to upset her again by pushing her on something as unimportant as clothing. If she didn’t feel comfortable around the guys while wearing shorts, it wasn’t a big deal.
“I’ll save you a sausage.” I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as I left her bedroom, listening to her muttered curses about Cyn invading her kitchen.