Chapter 18 Carefree #2
I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the lamplight. “Yeah. What’s wrong? Nightmare?”
She huffed a laugh. “Not likely. I haven’t fallen asleep yet.” She grabbed her phone. “It’s only been an hour.”
I wasn’t conceited enough to think I could help her sleep, but I hoped having someone’s presence would ease her nerves enough to get a decent rest.
She collapsed back against her pillow and groaned. “So what do you do for fun in Elyrdin?”
I glanced at the bed, no longer able to see her. I hadn’t expected a question like that. “When we’re not working for the council, I watch movies or play video games with Zeke.”
“What kind of movies do they have down—uh, I mean… over there?”
I chuckled. “Same as Earth. We don’t make them, but we enjoy the ones humans make. We never expanded the entertainment industry beyond music or televised live events and news.”
“You at least have regular jobs, right?”
“Well, yeah. Whatever is needed. School, banks, grocery stores…”
She leaned over the side of the bed, resting her chin on her arm. “You have school?”
“It’s a little different from here, but we need an education just like humans to keep society running. Math, languages, Earth history, Elyrdin history…”
“That’s pretty cool. So, what’s your favorite movie?”
“Pirates of the Caribbean.”
“Seriously? I was a baby when that came out. Now I get it though.”
I propped myself on my elbow. “Get what?”
“Your hair. It reminded me of a Viking, but pirates work too.”
I frowned. “Sparrow had dreads, not braids.”
She rolled onto her back. “Your hair is cooler, anyway.”
Plenty of women had complemented my hair, but this was the first time it stirred pride in me. I’d spent years growing my hair down to my ribs.
After considering how she’d respond, I said, “My braids were actually inspired by a woman.”
She flipped over. “Excuse me, what?”
I laughed at her shocked expression. “From a video game Zeke played a lot when he was younger.”
“It suits you.” She yawned, covering her mouth.
She looked so pretty with her guard down.
I shifted again, looking for a comfortable position.
“Hey, listen…”
I paused, looking up at her. She looked nervous again.
“Why don’t you sleep up here? There’s plenty of room, and the floor can’t be comfortable.”
When I stared at her in surprise, she grew flustered.
“I mean, you don’t have to, but you don’t need to sleep on the hard floor, either.
We’re both adults. We can be mature about this.
” She shrugged. “All I’m saying is, you have another option besides the chaise downstairs if you wanna stay up here.
I think I’ll be fine if you wanna go back down instead. ”
In any other situation, I’d have found her floundering amusing, but I didn’t want to dismiss her attempt at trusting me.
“If you’re fine with it, I’d like to sleep in a bed again,” I said, framing my words in a way I hoped didn’t suggest ulterior motives. I liked the idea of being near her, sure, but I wasn’t trying to get into her pants.
When I settled on top of the comforter on the other side of the bed, she frowned at me.
“What?”
“You can sleep under the covers.”
“I didn’t want you to think—”
She laughed. “Get under the covers, Ash.” Shaking her head as I slid beneath the soft comforter and sheet, she said, “I know you wouldn’t do anything like that.”
She turned off the lamp. The moon lit the room through her parted blinds, letting us see each other clearly.
Aiming for another laugh, I arched my brow and gave her my most serious look. “And what makes you think I wouldn’t want to do more than sleep with you?”
Her mouth popped open, and her cheeks darkened to the same rosy hue they had when she’d seen Cyn without a shirt. She seemed so innocent.
Maybe human women weren’t as sexually mature as Shyrlivi women of the same age. I’d need to ask the others since they’d spent time on Earth and probably interacted with women Rae’s age.
I wondered if I’d made a mistake playfully flirting with her.
“Um…” She looked down at her hands in her lap. “I mean, you’re a… I don’t know how that…”
“Hey,” I said, reaching for her hands. Her eyes met mine. “I’m joking. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that.”
She looked down at our hands. “I just wasn’t sure how to word this.” Her lips thinned as she considered her words. “Is it different for infernals?”
“What?”
“Sex.”
My mouth went dry. “What do you mean?”
“Are the parts different? Do you have sex the same way humans do?” She looked at me, cheeks still stained with her lovely blush.
“Well.” I cleared my throat, mentally begging my cock to settle down. It had been far too long since a woman had tempted me. “Depends on the infernal. For Shyrlivi, it’s the same as humans—for the most part.”
“For the most part? Is something different?”
“Well, there’s our horns.”
Her eyes rounded. “Oh.” She pursed her lips, and I wondered if she forgot that piece of information. “So you were serious about me turning Cyn on when I touched his horns?”
Okay. Maybe she didn’t forget.
I licked my lips and tapped the bed with my fingers. “Yes. If we feel sexual attraction to the person touching them, we’ll experience pleasure when they touch our horns.”
“So, if you don’t want me, nothing happens?” She made a sour face. “I meant you, as in Shyrlivi, and me, as in another person. Not you and me specifically.”
I shook my head, chuckling. “Can you imagine being on the battlefield and someone grabs your horns during a fight, making you come in your pants?” I smiled when she laughed. “But no, nothing happens with our horns if we aren’t attracted to another person.”
“Then why’d you warn me?”
“With Cyn?”
“Yeah.”
Could she honestly not tell Cyn wanted to fuck her senseless?
I sighed. “He’s complicated, but he’s easy to read when he’s attracted to someone.”
“Zeke,” she mumbled.
“Well, that.” I wasn’t surprised she knew. I’d seen her reaction at the graveyard. “But it’s not just Zeke. He’s also attracted to you.”
She squinted at me. “He wants to tear my head off half the time.”
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to fuck you. Ever hear of hate sex?”
“Sure. Who hasn’t?” She tugged at the edge of the covers in her lap. “He uses it as a threat,” she whispered.
“What?” I sat up. “He threatened you with—”
“No!” She reached for me, grabbing my arm and pulling me back down. “He’s never said he’d rape me or anything. He’s brought up fucking me a couple times when we get into arguments. But only if I wanted it. I never took it seriously.”
I took a deep breath. My heart hammered in my chest. Had she not stopped me, I’d have gone into the other room and—no. I couldn’t think of it. The thought of him forcing himself on her made me sick.
“Are you okay?”
I grabbed her hand, tugging her down toward me. I breathed a sigh of relief when she came willingly.
She tucked herself under my arm, resting her hand on my chest.
I needed to calm down, and it meant a lot to me that she didn’t recoil from my sudden need for her closeness. What is happening to me?
“I’ll be fine. I never thought he’d do something like that, so it shocked me to think you suggested he had.”
She started drawing patterns on my shirt, grounding me. “I wouldn’t have let him stay here if he had.”
“Good.” I tightened my hold around her back and tucked my other hand beneath my head as my tense muscles relaxed. “I do believe he’s physically attracted to you, so if you touched his horns again, he’d react.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t plan on doing that again.” She stayed quiet for a bit before asking, “Are horns the only difference between us?”
“There are a lot of differences between Shyrlivi and humans.”
She tapped my chest. “You know what I mean.”
“There aren’t any other physical differences that directly affect sex except our horns. Intercourse works the same. Everything else comes down to personal preferences.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Like things we enjoy with a partner. You know, things you like done to you might differ from what another woman likes.”
“Oh.” She tucked her face against my side.
“I don’t mean to embarrass you,” I said, toying with her long hair. “Just answering your questions. If it’s too much, I’ll stop.”
Our casual conversation made me realize she didn’t lack sexual maturity. When the subject shifted to her, she seemed hesitant—maybe inexperienced.
“No, not really. I’m not na?ve.”
I leaned back, brow raised, teasing.
“I’m not!” She swatted my chest again, enough to sting.
I kind of liked this new dynamic. I wasn’t a masochist, but her being comfortable enough to swat at me made me feel… special.
Like her comfort with me lowered her walls.
“Sure thing.” I chuckled. “Whatever you say.”
When she smacked my arm and tried to roll away, I turned on my side and wrapped both arms around her, pulling her close again. “I’m only teasing.”
Her forehead met my chest, and she released a breathy laugh.
I’d never felt so carefree as I did in her bed, the moonlight making everything feel intimate. For once, I didn’t have to think of my duty. The only thing I needed to worry about was the woman in my arms.
How many years had it been since I held a woman this way?
She didn’t lift her head when she said, “I’m shy, but I’m not inexperienced.”
I lifted a hand to touch her hair, and she tilted her head back to look up at me. My thumb brushed over her forehead, and her eyelids fluttered. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” I whispered, my touch trailing over her cheek and across her lower lip.
“Ash,” she murmured as I lowered my face to hers.
When her eyes closed, I brushed my lips over hers in a soft kiss.
Nyrith.
The word echoed in my head as my heart skipped a beat. I squeezed my eyes shut, withdrawing from her lips before I made the mistake of deepening the kiss.
Before she questioned my withdrawal, I rolled onto my back and tucked her against me. “Let’s try to get some sleep. It’s been a difficult day, and you need rest.” I tried to sound lighter than I felt.
Resting her hand on my chest, she shifted to get comfortable, sighing softly as her body relaxed against mine.
I valued whatever ground we’d gained tonight too much to ruin it with a quick fuck. And deep down, I knew it wouldn’t end there if I crossed that line.
I’d sworn an oath to protect Elyrdin and my brothers.
I couldn’t allow myself to fall for a human.
Not when I’d never see her again.