Chapter 24 Buried Memories
BURIED MEMORIES
RAE
Kneeling in front of Grandma’s headstone, I brushed my fingers over the rough surface. The vase of lilacs left by another visitor looked as lonely as I felt.
“I miss you,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t respond.
A giggle shattered the quiet, and I lifted my head.
Glancing around, I didn’t see anyone at first. But when my gaze passed over the cluster of trees where the delemora disappeared the day of Grandma’s funeral, I saw it.
The delemora moved like a puppet on invisible wires, limbs jerking as it glided toward me, head angled too far to the side as the split mouth covering the lower half of its face gaped open in a “smile” of jagged, rotting teeth.
I stood as it glided closer, ready to run. My family wasn’t here to witness my freak-out, and the guys weren’t here to save me.
A voice, fractured and layered as if several people spoke at once, twisted around me and pressed into my chest until my breath came shallow and weak.
“Ananeva.”
The sound echoed, bending in on itself as if spoken in an empty chamber instead of the open air of the cemetery.
No matter how hard I willed myself to move, my body refused to obey. The reek of sulfur, rot, and decay lingered in the air, choking me, making my eyes water. I blinked away the sting.
Then the infernal was in my face.
But it wasn’t the delemora anymore.
The woman from the parking garage stood in front of me.
With her bright blonde bob, porcelain skin, and face of a child, she looked as eerie as before—unnatural. Under the sunlight, she resembled a doll more than ever: perfect painted lips, blue eyes too large to be real, and a tiny button nose.
When she spoke, her voice was sweet and calm, curling around me, tugging at my consciousness, and leaving behind a whispered secret only for me.
“The heirs won’t save you, Ananeva,” she said in a singsong voice. “So you’d better wake up.”
I sucked in a breath and bolted upright, gasping for air as if surfacing after too long underwater. Coughing, I reached for the glass of water on my nightstand, my hands shaking. After draining most of the glass, I set it down and slumped against the headboard.
I pushed away the damp sheets and climbed out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, the memories from earlier crashed into me.
I winced when my fingers touched the distinctive bite mark on my shoulder.
I’d let Ezra drink my blood.
I’d consumed his blood.
I closed my eyes as the ordeal flickered through my mind like a damaged movie reel. I couldn’t remember everything, but I remembered his eyes in vivid detail. The sight of them cut through my delirium even before the power in his voice.
In contrast to Cyn’s solid black eyes, Ezra’s glacial blue irises shone with an ethereal glow, intensified by the surrounding blackness of his sclera.
His “human” eyes betrayed nothing of his emotions. But in his infernal form, they became far more expressive. Even the skin around his eyes and brows revealed more than I’d ever seen in his human face.
Despite a foggy memory, I remembered blood and skin.
He’d taken his shirt off, cutting into his own flesh to feed me his blood.
To save me.
I couldn’t understand why he kept saving me. Three times now. Did he truly believe I was the only way home?
I shut my eyes and forced the discomfort away. I tried to remember what happened after he climbed on top of me and told me to drink from him. I couldn’t remember the bite or falling asleep.
I didn’t understand the sweetness lingering in my mouth. The water hadn’t erased the syrupy taste. I didn’t remember eating anything after sharing blood with Ezra, either.
After brushing my teeth, I took another shower to clean off the sweat and blood from my shoulder. I changed into a sweatshirt and flowy lounge pants to avoid pressing on the wounds on my thigh before heading downstairs to check on the guys.
Before I even reached the bottom of the staircase, I heard Cyn shouting.
“I told you there’s something going on! Lesser infernals don’t just attack humans en masse like that!”
“You’re right,” Ash agreed. “But suggesting Rae had anything to do with it—”
“Of course she did. They were attacking her, not some random bystanders.”
“There were no random bystanders,” Ash said.
“What if it was the wrong place, wrong time kind of thing?”
I watched as Cyn whirled on Zeke. “Wrong place, wrong—” He paused, lowering his voice. “Wrong place, wrong time? Do you really believe that?”
“I don’t know,” Zeke said, shrugging. “I don’t think she’s done something bad.”
“No, perhaps not,” Ezra said, surprising me. “I suspect she’s unaware of her role in this or why we’re here and why lesser infernals are drawn to her. I’m interested in where she got this.” He lifted the book that started everything.
“I wonder if anything like this has happened before,” Zeke said, taking a seat on a stool. “She seemed terrified. She didn’t react that way to seeing Cyn’s alternate form, and she’s said she’s seen lesser infernals before. Did she get scared of you?”
Ezra shook his head. “It’s hard to say. She wasn’t entirely there, I don’t believe.” He glanced to the side, his jaw flexing. He looked uncomfortable. I hadn’t seen him show much emotion, but discomfort was easy enough to read. Had something happened upstairs?
“Anyone would fear a horde chasing them,” Ash said.
“That’s true.” Zeke nodded. “But maybe she’s never been attacked before?”
“Not since my parents died,” I said, finally making them aware of my presence.
They all turned from the counter to face me.
Zeke hopped off the stool and rushed over, pulling me into a tight hug. “How are you feeling?” He held me at arm’s length and looked down at my leg. “Are you sore? Do you need anything?”
I blinked before I burst into laughter.
“What?” He looked over at the guys for help.
“Ease up. Give her space to breathe,” Ash said, coming over with a smile. “Don’t mind him. Zeke’s like a puppy, always crashing into things in his excitement to see you, but doesn’t understand why you’re mad at the messes he makes.”
“What? I am not.”
“With her and Cyn? Yeah, you absolutely are.”
Zeke’s gaze darted back and forth between Cyn and me.
Cyn shrugged. “You are kinda like a puppy.”
I lifted my hand and ran my fingers over the soft strands on top of Zeke’s head. I’d always suspected his hair was soft. “Good boy,” I teased.
He froze, his hands falling to his sides as he stared at me with wide eyes.
Ezra’s icy eyes locked on me, drawing my attention to him. “What did you mean, not since your parents died?”
I sighed, crossing the living room to the kitchen.
After everything they did for me in the parking garage and after, I could give them this. If anyone would understand what I saw thirteen years ago, it’d be them.
“When I was ten, infernals attacked my home.” I grabbed cranberry juice from the refrigerator and vodka from the freezer, setting both on the counter. “They looked human, but I knew better. Mom did too.” I pulled a mason jar from the cabinet and set it down.
Zeke crossed the living room and took a seat on a stool beside Cyn. “What do you mean?”
“Their faces weren’t natural. Like the others I’d seen possessed by infernals, their features were twisted.” I mixed my drink. If I had to talk about this, I needed more than a soda. “They had claws, though.”
“I thought you said the humans you’ve seen partially transform,” Cyn said.
“It was the first time I’d seen more than their faces change. I’d either seen infernals in full ‘demonic form’ or humans with only their faces warped.”
Ash leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “What happened?”
I took a sip, then added a little extra juice.
“My dad couldn’t tell they weren’t human at first, so he tried to fight them.
” I set the glass down, braced my hands on the counter, and stared at the ceiling.
“They gutted him.” I swallowed when my voice broke.
“Like, his insides spilled out on the dining room floor.”
Cyn cursed, and Ash reached for me, but I held up a hand. I didn’t want to be coddled. I’d never finish if I let someone hold me. After thirteen years, I finally had someone I could tell the truth to.
Grandma said I told her, but I didn’t remember. Carrying the memories with me all these years wasn’t easy. I’d spent my whole life rejecting them. Now, I didn’t trust myself not to fall apart if I accepted comfort before telling them the worst parts.
Ezra’s low voice caught my attention. “What did you do?”
I looked at him at the far end of the counter where he sat.
“Mom took my hand, and we ran out the sliding glass doors to the backyard. She led me to the utility shed and told me to use the hatch inside to hide in the crawlspace under the house. Told me not to come out, no matter what I heard.” I clutched my pendant through my shirt, closing my eyes.
She’d given me the necklace before shutting the shed door.
I took a shaky breath, opening my eyes to meet Ezra’s intense stare. “I shouldn’t have looked.”
Zeke’s voice sounded scratchy when he asked, “Why?”
“I didn’t go straight into hiding. I wanted to make sure Mom was okay.
” I took a large swallow of my mixed drink.
“I was a stupid child.” I shook my head.
“They came outside and saw Mom. I heard one of them talking to her, but I couldn’t make out everything they said.
I didn’t understand any of it. They wanted to know where I was hiding. ”
Cyn and Ezra shared a look.
“They kept saying things in a language I didn’t understand. When Mom refused to give up where I hid, they did more than kill her.”
Ash’s hand tightened into a fist on the counter, and I could tell he was restraining himself. His voice dropped to a rumble. “What happened?”
“They raped her. Back then, I didn’t understand what was happening.
I only knew that whatever they were doing hurt Mom, and I wanted to help her.
” I took a gulp of my mixed drink. “I opened the door. Her hysterical cries when she saw me were enough to make me rush back inside. She didn’t want me to come closer. ”
“There’s nothing you could have done. You were a child,” Cyn said, his typical scowl now lowered in fury.
“I know that now. But back then, I didn’t know what was happening.
I just didn’t want what happened to Dad to happen to her.
” Licking my lips again, I lifted my glass, only to have Ash take it from me.
I fixed my glare on him as I spat the next words.
“They cut flesh from her body after the five assholes finished using her. And then… they fed on her.”
The jar cracked, and I glanced down to see blood smearing the glass in Ash’s hand.
Ezra distracted me. “Did they see you?”
I looked at him. “No. Before they finished, I did what Mom said. I hid. I didn’t come out until the police arrived. They concluded it was a gang initiation, which is why the murders were so brutal.”
“What did you tell them?” Zeke reached for my hand, but I stepped back from the counter, folding my arms.
“Told them a bunch of men came in and killed Dad, and that Mom hid me in the crawlspace.”
“So you never told them what you saw?”
“Nope. I’d learned better by then.” My shoulders lifted. “If I started talking about demons, they’d say I was traumatized and put me in an institution. Instead, my grandparents took me in.”
Zeke frowned, looking down at the counter.
I put the vodka and cranberry juice away, then pulled the first aid kit from beneath the sink and set it on the counter. After stomping to the closet for a trash bag, I handed it to Ash. He stepped back while I put the broken jar inside and tied it off, throwing it away.
None of them said anything while I cleaned up. I didn’t expect them to.
While we’d reached civil ground, the truce with Ezra and Cyn felt shaky at best. Zeke struggled with heavy stuff, but he made his concerns clear.
Ash seemed angrier than I thought him capable.
Maybe I’d grown too comfortable with them.
They were infernals, after all. I understood Ash wasn’t angry with me, but his reaction reminded me of the difference in power between our species.
Opening the first aid kit, I glanced at Ash. “Come here,” I said, keeping my voice low, not to provoke him. When he didn’t move, I sighed. “Let me help you.”
He came then, but I saw the tension in his body with every step he took.
Hearing about my family affected him more than I’d expected.
After hearing what happened to his own parents, I supposed it made sense.
Not only had we both lost our parents in brutal infernal attacks, but we had witnessed them firsthand.
Instead of being wary of his power, I needed to remember the care he’d shown me.
I didn’t understand it, but it felt like we shared a connection.
Bonded with each other. His being angry on my behalf shouldn’t stir uncertainty, but it was difficult to trust someone had my back when I always needed to hide the nightmare I lived with daily.
Opening the drawer next to me, I grabbed a clean washcloth and wet it with cold water. I turned to Ash. Cradling his hand, I peered up into his eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered.
His brows lowered. “For what?”
“Caring.” I eased the cloth over his hand, cleaning the excess blood. The wound continued to bleed, but the flow wasn’t heavy enough to require stitches. I watched the blood pool in his hand and remembered the sweet taste in my mouth from earlier. “I have a strange question.”
“You can ask anything,” Ash said.
“So, infernal blood…” I looked up at him and breathed a soft laugh, and he squinted. I guess it seemed weird to laugh, considering the situation. I shook my head. “No, never mind.”
Zeke leaned forward with his elbows on the counter. “What’s up?”
I glanced at Ezra and then back at Ash’s hand. The wound appeared smaller than before.
Here goes nothing.
“Does infernal blood taste sweet? Like candy?”