Chapter 37 Breaking
brEAKING
RAE
The week following my confrontation with Ezra confused me.
Cyn and Ezra’s frustrating attitudes didn’t change, but Zeke and Ash acted like different people.
Zeke’s deepening depression made me question his claim that sleeping with Cyn didn’t bother him. He hadn’t shut down, but he kept escaping outside alone and returned with red-rimmed eyes and slumped shoulders.
Next came Ash.
Before our talk killed any chance of more between us, he lingered near me—even when he wasn’t part of the conversation. I’d grown used to his proximity; his distance left me lonely and confused.
I knew we couldn’t be more, but I allowed myself to entertain the thought. For our own good, he needed to say those things to keep us from doing something foolish—like sleeping together.
I scoffed. Lot of good that did us.
He stopped mentioning my unhealthy breakfast habits, too.
Given his sudden withdrawal, I wondered if he could stay friends with someone he wanted.
I twirled the black cord of my necklace between my fingers, watching the small black stone spin.
It’d been a week since Ezra had cornered me in my bedroom to ask about Mom’s necklace. I still didn’t understand why she owned a crystal from their world. She never talked about interacting with infernals—only seeing them the way I did. Did one of them give her the necklace? If so, for what reason?
“Rae! You back here?”
“Breakroom!”
Maya appeared in the doorway carrying two takeout containers from the Greek restaurant in the food court. “Salad for you, and a loaded gyro sandwich for me.” She plopped down in the seat next to me at the plastic table. “What’s with the rabbit food?”
“Thought I should eat healthier,” I said, slipping my necklace beneath my blouse and clipping my hair off my shoulders.
Her face puckered as if she’d sucked a lemon. “But why?”
I shrugged, not wanting to lie. My diet wasn’t terrible, but Ash’s healthy influence had me paying more attention to what I put in my body.
I opened the lid of my lunch. I missed his concern.
“Earth to Rae.”
“Huh?”
“I asked how’s it going with the hottie party?” She frowned. “Where’d you go?”
I laughed. “Nowhere. Hottie party?” I stabbed at the salad, gathering a bite. “Are you talking about the guys?”
“Of course I am. So?”
I rolled my eyes. “Same as always. Not sure when they’ll be going home.”
She swallowed her food. “If they are helping around the house, don’t focus on that. Focus on healing. That shit doesn’t disappear overnight.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, pushing my salad around with my fork. “I guess you’re right.”
If she only knew how much I didn’t want to see Ash and Zeke go.
They’d become too important to say goodbye to and never see again.
I needed to ask what happened when humans died and went to Elyrdin, and whether their position as royalty would keep me from seeing them again.
Leaving for another town wasn’t the same as disappearing from Earth.
It’d be as if they died, and I couldn’t imagine that.
“Rae?”
I glanced up to find Maya looking at me with concern.
“Rae, what’s going on? Did I make you think of Bonnie?”
A soft sob slipped out before I could stop it, and I covered my mouth.
“Shit. I’m so sorry, babe.” She stood, coming to my side and pulling me against her in a tight hug. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I sniffed, resting my head against her stomach. “No. It’s not that.” I couldn’t let her believe this was her fault, so I told her the truth. “I’m not ready.”
“Ready for what?” She stepped back to peer down at me, hands on my shoulders.
I looked away. “For them to leave.”
She went back to her chair. “All of them?” Her hand grasped mine.
I shook my head. “No. I… Ash and Zeke. I’m not ready for them to go.”
No matter how much Cyn drew me in like a magnet, he was an asshole.
The only times he acted decent were with Zeke in mind.
Even when Cyn pushed me to eat or checked if I was hurt, I only caught his eye because of Zeke.
He and I would never get along. And Ezra and I didn’t mesh.
I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t like him either.
Only Ash and Zeke would leave behind a hole in my heart.
It unnerved me how strongly it affected me after such a short time.
“Can’t you visit them, or have them come visit you? I mean, how far away do they live? You traveled to Greensboro all the time. I’ll even lend you my car.” Her eyes went wide with alarm when I broke down sobbing again.
My arms encircled her as she cradled my head, and all the anguish I’d held back since Grandma’s funeral when Ash held me finally spilled out. The thought only made me bawl louder.
Maya didn’t move, letting me cry until there wasn’t anything left to give. She sat down again. “You need to tell me what’s going on. I’m seriously worried about you.”
I wiped my face with my napkin, grimacing at the makeup smeared across it. Whatever. I didn’t care anymore. Shane could send me home early. I met Maya’s anxious stare.
“I won’t be able to see them again when they leave.”
“What? Why?”
“I can’t travel to where they’re from.”
“Never?”
“I don’t think so.”
Until I asked them, I didn’t know what the afterlife looked like. Maybe we lost our memories when we died and went on to Elyrdin.
How could one location sustain such a large human population for centuries? Even without the dead in physical forms, the living already overpopulated Earth. How big was Elyrdin? How big was Niemna? Did souls just… float around there?
“I didn’t realize they weren’t American,” she said.
I didn’t correct her. I couldn’t tell her the truth, and the assumption they lived in a country I couldn’t visit worked well enough.
“What’s going on back here?”
We both looked up when Shane stepped in the doorway.
“Lunch,” Maya said, holding up her gyro.
“You were supposed to be back on the clock already,” Shane said, narrowing his eyes at me. “What’s wrong with you?”
I’d avoided him all day, not wanting to rehash what happened downstairs. After I emailed Diane about his behavior, I knew he’d confront me. I couldn’t deal with it right now.
“What do you mean?”
“Your makeup is a mess.”
“Way to make a woman feel special,” Maya muttered. “Anyway. What happened to your arm?”
Shane looked down at his arm in a sling, forgetting my makeup. “Broke it.”
Maya whistled. “Bet that hurt like a motherfucker.” She wiped her mouth. “How?”
“None of your business,” he snapped. His angry gaze slid to me. “I need you to close tonight.”
“What? But I’ve been here—”
“Trudy’s out sick, and Maya’s off at four.”
Maya closed the lid of her food container. “I can stay—”
“No. You’re almost at overtime, so I’m cutting you early.” He angled his head. “Raelynn can handle it. She’s a team player.”
I glared at him.
If I argued about working ten hours when he scheduled me for six, he’d spin it as disruption. Diane might believe me, but Shane was her neighbor. He had the stronger rapport.
“Fine.”
“Good. Now clean up and get back to work. Maya, you can pack up and go. No need to clock back in.” Before we could protest, he turned and left the breakroom.
“What crawled in his ass and died?” Maya tossed her container in the trash.
I hadn’t told her what happened outside the bookstore, but I wasn’t sure now was the right time. I didn’t need her deciding she needed to defend me.
I stood, tossed my salad container in the trash, and grabbed my purse. “At least I’ll get overtime pay.” I headed for the bathroom to fix my makeup.
“Worried about me getting overtime, but he’s fine dumping it on you. I don’t get him.” Maya shook her head, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I guess we’ll hang out another night. Call if you need anything,” she said, grabbing her things to leave.
We planned dinner with the guys tonight, but Shane’s interference killed that.
I hated him.
Not only had he forced extra hours, he dumped a mountain of inventory paperwork on me while I manned the front of the store alone.
I didn’t leave work until thirty minutes after closing, forcing me to take a different bus than usual. I didn’t like riding the bus at this hour, especially after seeing another possessed human in the store today.
My growling stomach attracted the attention of the teenage couple across from me. I glanced away, not in the mood to engage.
I’d had one cup of coffee and three-quarters of a Greek salad today. I hadn’t expected overtime, and Shane wouldn’t let me leave for the food court, and he sure as hell didn’t offer to go for me.
The day left me grumpy, tired, and emotionally exhausted.
Resting my head against the window, I closed my eyes.
I awoke with a start when the bus struck a pothole. From the landscape, I realized I’d only slept a few minutes. Checking my phone, I sighed, wondering if the guys had eaten dinner yet.
When I looked up from my phone, I noticed a man sitting a few seats away from me, watching me. I offered a polite smile, but his expression didn’t change.
He wasn’t creepy, but he wasn’t pleasant to look at either.
His ruddy face had a light dusting of salt-and-pepper stubble, bushy brows, and sideburns peeking from under his worn baseball cap. He wore baggy jeans smeared with grass and other unidentifiable stains, and a heavy parka jacket lined with too many pockets, despite the mild temperatures outside.
I lost the staring contest with the man when I heard whistling nearby.
Nobody was close except a young man asleep in the next row and the teenage couple lost in their own world. Toward the rear, two women chatted with a young man in oversized headphones, while a middle-aged man with a guitar case sat by the door.
No one was close enough to be the source of the whistle.
I looked back to see the man still staring. Dropping my gaze to my phone, I debated texting the guys again.
They hadn’t seemed concerned when I texted them that I’d be late. Not surprising. Zeke and Ash had pulled back. Cyn and I hated each other. Ezra didn’t care.
Maybe they didn’t think I’d be attacked again.
I’m surprised they even responded when I told them I’d be late. They didn’t respond later when I told them Maya wasn’t coming over and asked about dinner.
I glanced at the man from the corner of my eye and snuck a photo, sending it to the group chat. If they didn’t care, at least someone would know.
Ezra:
Why are you sending us a photo of a random man?
Rae:
He’s been staring at me.
Ezra:
And?
Cyn:
hah think he’s interested in you?
Cyn:
have fun with that
I clenched my teeth until my jaw ached.
Ash:
Are you okay?
Rae:
Yeah. He hasn’t done anything but stare, but I saw another possessed person today.
Rae:
Sorry. Rough day.
Rae:
Ignore me.
Rae:
I’m just on edge.
Ezra:
You shouldn’t be unsupervised. Had I known your friend wasn’t driving you home, I’d have made arrangements.
Rae:
My boss cut her early.
Zeke:
Wait. I thought u were working together.
Rae:
Was supposed to. That’s why she was gonna come over.
Zeke:
What happened?
Rae:
Didn’t you read my texts?
Zeke:
What texts?
Ash:
You texted us?
Ezra:
There’s nothing on my phone.
I stared at the screen until the words blurred.
They hadn’t ignored me.
Rae:
I’ll be home soon.
When the bus neared my stop, I stood and crossed to the side door. After I let a woman with several bags board, I stepped off. The unkempt man exited through the other door a few feet away.
Clutching my purse and phone, I started down the street.
I could do this. I could get home without falling apart.
I walked fast, my heart pounding, but his steps matched mine no matter how much I sped up. When I heard whistling again, I opened my contact list for the guys, tapping a random name. My eyes were too blurry with unshed tears to focus on the screen.
“What?”
I winced as Cyn’s angry voice sliced through the phone line.
When I didn’t answer right away, he sighed. “Raelynn?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called—”
“What is it?”
When his tone shifted to concern, a broken sound escaped my lips.
“Raelynn, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong right now, I will find you.”
I whimpered, whispering, “I’m… he’s following me.”
“Following you?” He paused. “No, I’m not putting it on speaker. Fuck. Fine!”
Ezra’s steady voice came over the line. “Where are you?”
I’d never been more grateful for his calm voice.
I glanced at the road signs and told him the street corner I passed.
“Why did you get off so far away?”
I sniffed. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Cut her some slack,” Ash said. “Little Blackbird?”
I choked out a weak sound of acknowledgment, tears stinging my eyes and threatening to spill. I loathed appearing fragile to them after what happened in the parking garage. Why was I falling apart now when I hadn’t before?
“I’ll come get you now.”
“You don’t have to. I’ll be home soon.”
I flinched when the eerie whistling started again. The sound echoed from nowhere and everywhere at once. I looked back, gasping at the sight.
The man’s face twisted, as if something beneath his skin tried to break free. For a fleeting moment, his features warped, and I saw the familiar hollow pits I’d seen on another last week. Then he was human again—his expression blank, almost dazed, as if he hadn’t changed at all.
I hated the way their faces contorted.
I forced myself to look away and keep walking, but his footsteps synced with mine.
The air squeezed my lungs, stealing my breath, making it impossible to answer the guys calling for me through the tinny speaker.
I turned a corner.
He followed.
I glanced back again.
Another flicker.
His face snapped between monster and human until, without warning, his features disappeared. His face reminded me of smooth clay before sculpting.
The whistling swelled, coiling around me like a snake and invading my ears until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I ran.
Right before the final stretch home, I slammed into a wall and screamed, dropping my phone.
A large hand covered the back of my head, shoving my face into a hard chest until the scent of bay rum and cinnamon filled my senses.
My body gave up the fight.
Darkness took me as Ash’s voice brushed my ear. “I’ve got you now.”