11. Emmy
“It’s been a while since our last appointment.”
Dr. Karen Bolten, my therapist, watches me with a keen eye. I started coming to her after the fire because my parents thought I needed someone to talk to, and I’ve stuck with her because she knows me. Which means she knows that I only schedule an appointment when my anxiety is wreaking havoc on my life.
“I know.”
“How’s work going?” she asks, giving me the space I need to be comfortable enough to tell her what’s wrong.
“Great,” I tell her honestly. “Staying busy. Trauma never sleeps, ya know?” My attempt at a joke falls flat. Dr. Bolten patiently waits while I keep sorting through my thoughts. “I think I’m going crazy,” I finally blurt.
“What makes you think that?”
I take a deep breath before completely unburdening myself. I tell her about the note, the letter, and the tires. I explain to her that we have a new janitor at work, and that he’s the son of my rescuer.
“I swear, he looks just like him,” I say. “For a moment, I thought he was him. But that’s crazy because the guy died after he saved me.”
“It’s not so crazy,” she insists. “Dean Haskins was your link to safety back then, and it makes sense that your brain latches onto that in your current predicament.” She shrugs. “Besides, there are millions of fathers and sons who look alike.”
“I know, it’s just…” I chew on my bottom lip.
“Just what, Emmy?”
“It feels like I know him, ya know? Like there’s more to his story.” I wave my hand dismissively. “Like I said, crazy.”
“Stop,” she instructs gently. “You are not crazy. You’re human, and your brain is doing what it needs to do to protect you mentally. If you feel safe around him, maybe you should trust that.”
I do feel safe around Inferno. I realize that might not make sense to most people because he’s a virtual stranger, but I wasn’t lying when I told Dr. Bolten that it feels like I know him, like I’ve known him my whole life.
It’s all confusing as hell, but in a good way.
I think.
“Let’s talk about the other situation for a minute,” she suggests. “Have you contacted the police?”
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts about Inferno, I smile. “Yeah, of course.”
“And what are they doing to help?”
“I don’t know, exactly. They told me to call if I receive any more notes or if something happens, but I sort of got the impression that there isn’t much they can do about a stalker until the stalker actually tries something.”
“In other words, they can’t do anything about it until someone gets hurt?”
“Pretty much.”
“I’m sorry you’re having to go through that. It must be scary.”
“It is,” I admit. “Doing what I do for a living means there’s no shortage of suspects.” I tilt my head at her. “Well, you must know, right? We don’t exactly deal with the sanest of individuals.”
Dr. Bolten chuckles. “I don’t know if it’s a question of insanity, but yes, I know what you mean. I take it you think it’s one of your clients?”
“It has to be. There’s no one else in my life that would do this.”
“It could be someone you’ve never met,” she says. “Stalkers aren’t rational, and their victims aren’t always a person they know. Take celebrities for example… It’s not like their stalkers are anyone who’s in their lives for any other reason than as a fan. Does that make sense?”
“It does. And that makes it all the more terrifying. I genuinely have no idea who’s doing this.”
“Have you thought about taking self-defense classes or anything?”
“No.”
“Maybe that’s something to think about.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Or I could just hire Inferno to be my bodyguard.
“I’m going to throw this out there because I think it’s important to acknowledge all possible options,” she begins. “Is it possible that Dean is behind the notes and tires?”
“No.”
As quickly as I dismiss the idea, it returns full force to take root in my gray matter. Is it possible? Yes, I suppose it is. Do I really think it’s him? I don’t know.
And that’s a problem.
“I’m a big supporter of trusting your gut,” Dr. Bolten states. “And it seems as if your gut is telling you that this guy is trustworthy. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the possibility.”
“You’re right, it needs to be considered.”
And now I’ve got one more thing to be afraid of.