2. Anders
TWO
ANDERS
Have you ever had a moment when time stands still?
I hadn’t either not until I looked through the diner window and saw him.
I know all about the stupid town legacy.
I know that the Barnetts and both Buck and Nero genuinely believe that this myth, or curse, or whatever you want to call it, of falling in love at first sight is true.
But until this exact moment I thought it was bullshit.
No one falls in love at first sight. No one sees a complete stranger and suddenly knows deep down in their soul that that’s the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with.
And yet as I stare at the beautiful boy sitting at a table opposite a woman, I know it.
I know that he’s mine and that I’ll never want anyone else for the rest of eternity.
I can hear Danny talking on the phone to someone beside me, but I’m too consumed with the boy to really pay attention.
“Shit,” he growls.
“What?” I mutter, my gaze fixed on my boy through the window. “What did he say?” I ask.
“She’s. Mine,” Danny says, his voice low and possessive.
The aggression in his voice breaks the spell that has kept me focused on my boy, and I snap my head around to look at Danny, my brow furrowed in confusion.
“She’s. Mine,” he repeats, angry eyes boring into me, like he’s making sure I hear and understand what he’s saying.
“Who?” I ask.
“Parker. She’s mine. Eyes off.”
It takes me a moment to realize that the girl sitting with my boy must be Parker, and that right now my friend thinks I’m staring at his girl. “I’m not looking at her,” I admit, unable to resist my boy’s pull any longer, and turning to look through the window again.
“Then who?” he asks, his voice confused. From my peripheral vision, I see his head moving from side to side, scanning the faces of the people at the other tables.
“Him,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper.
I regret my confession the moment I’ve said it, but it’s too late to take it back now. Even if I wanted to, it’d be impossible for me to hide what I’m feeling.
“Him?” Danny questions, not disgust but surprise radiating from his voice.
Slowly dragging my eyes away from the window, I turn to Danny.
“Fuck, it got you too, didn’t it?” he asks, his lips curved into an amused smirk.
“What got me?” I question. But I know what he means, I just don’t want to say it out loud. I don’t want to admit that I just fell in love with a stranger at first glance.
“The Barnett bullshit. You took one look at that guy, and you haven’t been able to look away. I didn’t even know you were gay.”
“Bi,” I correct, not that it really matters. My sexuality is my business, and no one else’s.
“Who cares?” Danny says flippantly. “You’re gone for that guy after one look. I honestly thought all the Barnett love-at-first-sight stuff was bullshit, until just this minute, because I just saw it fucking happen.”
“His name is Henry?” I question, remembering Danny saying it earlier when he was losing his shit, thinking Parker was on a date.
“He’s twenty-two, a temp, and gay,” Danny says, relaying information about my boy like he’s reading it from a fact sheet.
“Twenty-two,” I say under my breath. Fuck, he really is just a boy, barely a grown-up and thirteen years younger than me. “Too young,” I whisper.
“Nah, it’s not that big of an age gap,” Danny says, dismissing the argument I’m having with myself like the age gap is completely inconsequential. “Let’s go say hi.”
He’s excited now, the feral, furious energy from only moments ago gone and replaced with his usual golden retriever happiness.
“No,” I hiss, horrified at the suggestion that I go in there and allow myself to become even more infatuated with my boy than I already am.
Danny’s brow furrows in confusion at my refusal. “I’m going in there, so you are too. Why wouldn’t you want to? He’s yours.”
Danny declares that the boy is mine, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. His certainty is jarring, because as much as I want to, I can’t claim him. I can’t pretend like this desire I feel is more important than my boy’s free will. “He’s not mine,” I protest weakly.
“Dude, do I have to repeat back to you what you told me this morning?” he asks, arching a triumphant brow at me.
Cursing, I remember the conversation we had earlier. He’d been considering walking away from Parker and not trying to be anything more than her friend, and I’d told him…
“I might not believe that my destined person is just going to drop into my lap because I moved to this town. But I do know that if, by some odd twist of fate, they did, I wouldn’t just let them slip through my fingers.”
Everything I said was true when I was referring to him and Parker. But Henry is different. I’m different.
Henry . Even thinking his name makes my cock jerk in my pants.
But he’s only twenty-two. He’s just starting out in life, and I’m a jaded thirty-five-year-old man who feels closer to fifty than twenty.
I’m old. I’m stuck in my ways. I’m a control freak, and if I allow myself to claim that boy, I’ll take over his life, and that’s not fair to him.
I like things that my boy is barely old enough to understand, and I don’t want to be the one to corrupt somebody who looks as pure and innocent as he does.
I can only see his profile from my view through the diner window, but even from here I can tell how beautiful he is. Most people don’t use the word beautiful to describe men, but it’s the only thing that springs to mind when I look at him.
His hair is dirty blond and a little too long, like the style he used to have has grown out. His skin is warm but pale, and his posture is a little too slumped, like he’s either exhausted or trying to stay unnoticed.
I can only see his top half, but his slim chest and arms are hidden beneath a button-down, with a knit sweater over it. He has the build of a twink, slim and…breakable, and if I allow myself to claim him, I’ll ruin him, and I won’t do that, no matter how much I want him.
The sensible, jaded part of me thinks I should leave.
I’m sure I could find someone willing to give me a ride back up the mountain, and leaving is undoubtedly the right thing to do.
But instead of walking away, my feet turn, and I follow Danny, walking toward the door to the diner like Henry is a magnet and I’m being drawn into his orbit.
“Fine,” I concede as we reach the door, knowing that even though I should, I’m not strong enough to fight the pull I already feel toward him.
Ignoring Danny’s excited expression, I grab my friend’s arm, stopping him before he can step inside.
“Do not tell him, or anyone else, about the Barnett stuff, or me,” I hiss, pointing a threatening finger at him.
Danny’s eyes widen, and his jovial expression melts away. “Dude, I’d never out you. Not that anyone would care.”
“I know no one would care, that’s not why I haven’t told any of you. It’s just none of your damn business where I like to stick my dick,” I snap.
“That’s true. But we’re your friends, your family, and hiding a part of yourself from us is kind of shitty.”
I hate that he’s right. I haven’t deliberately hidden my sexuality; it’s just not something I feel the need to tell everyone I meet.
I’m bisexual. I’ve had relationships with both women and men, but despite it being the twenty-first century, people still think being bi is weird.
In the past, when people have found out about my sexual orientation, I’ve been called greedy and selfish.
I’ve had people wrongly assume I’m just gay and don’t want to admit that I’m not into women.
But the truth of the matter is that I’m attracted to both sexes, and I shouldn’t have to explain or justify that to anyone.
My last serious relationship was with a woman.
We were together for three years, but she never told her family that I’d had relationships with men in the past. I never hid who I was from her.
I was upfront when we met, and she said it didn’t matter to her that I was bi.
But I had no idea that her brothers and family didn’t know, and when I mentioned my ex was a dude in passing, they lost their minds.
Apparently, they don’t have a problem with gay men, but they do have an issue with their sister being in a relationship with a man who has fucked other men.
The whole thing was an absolute shit show, and Corrine and I parted ways when I realized that despite her assurances that she didn’t care about my past, what she actually meant was she didn’t care about my past as long as no one else knew.
That was five years ago, and apart from a few short-lived flings, I’ve been single by choice ever since.
“I never planned to hide my sexuality from you; it just never came up,” I tell Danny, feeling like an asshole, because I do consider him and the rest of my team as my brothers.
I never intended to keep this part of myself a secret, but now that I’m faced with the truth that maybe I have hidden myself from them, I wonder why I’ve never allowed them to really know me.
“I took this job because I was getting away from a messy situation at my last firehouse. I wasn’t looking to drag that shit here with me, and then after a while of not saying I was bi, it felt weird to just announce it, so I didn’t,” I confess.
Danny takes a moment to consider my words, nods, then slaps one of his huge hands down onto my shoulder, squeezing firmly. “I get it, and like I said, I’d never out you. Either way, your guy is having dinner with my girl, so let’s go join them.”
Even though I know it’s a mistake, I still follow Danny into the diner, trailing him to the table where Parker and Henry are sitting.
Up close, Henry is even more beautiful than he appeared through the window.
His face isn’t feminine, but his pert nose, high cheekbones and full pouty lips are masculine in their beauty.