Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
SAMANTHA
This was it. I was trapped.
Dead.
Done.
There was no way I was getting out of this.
Astaroth—my father, the fallen angel—had chased me here.
I was huddled in a ball in one of the rooms in my father’s castle, hiding, trying not to cry or scream even as the heat of Hell beat against every inch of my skin.
How had this happened?
How had I ended up trapped in Hell again?
I’d saved Van. I knew that much. But everything after that had been a blur.
I’d fought hordes of demons. Ran through tortured souls. And I thought—I’d stupidly thought—that I’d been fighting my way out, but my father always won.
My demon-dead friend, Gabe, and I had been cornered in one of the caverns. Demons were everywhere, and suddenly, they were gone. And my father was there. And…
And Gabe told me to run. He yelled that he’d buy me some time.
So, I ran, but his tortured screams followed me as I’d raced through Hell.
But I wouldn’t waste his sacrifice, so I’d ran and ran and ran until I’d seen my father’s the castle carved from the lava rock inside his gigantic cavern. I’d thought about all the rooms inside it. All the places I could hide. I thought it would give me options.
So, I sprinted for it and raced through the castle, looking for a place to hide, until peeked in here.
The tall armoire inside this room had just enough space for me to fit between it and the corner of the wall. The armoire was along the same wall as the door, so if my father peeked in here, there was a chance—a small chance—that the door would block me from view. If I tucked myself tight enough into the corner, he might not even come all the way inside the room. I stupidly thought this would be the perfect hiding spot.
But as the rough rock dug into my spine, I knew I’d made a mistake.
Because I hadn’t noticed the table filling the center of the room with thick metal legs and a slab of more lava rock on top.
Or the chains draped across the tabletop, dripping down to the floor.
And I definitely hadn’t seen the blood and bits of gore on the table, the chains, the floor, and—oh God.
Oh God.
Were those knives?
Was that a saw ?
I tried not to look at it, but now it was all I could see.
Lord, help me. Why had I found this room of all rooms?
A manic laugh almost slipped free, and I slapped my hands over my mouth to stop it. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but they never hit my chin because they evaporated. It was so hot—not as hot as out in the caverns of Hell—but still so impossibly hot in my father’s version of a palace.
I pressed myself harder into the corner, trying to become as small as I could be, hoping the armoire hid me from view, but I knew this was a trap.
My father had tricked me into coming here. There was no way I ended up in this torture chamber on my own. He’d whispered in my mind where to go, when to turn, what door to open. It’d sounded like my own voice, but I was wrong. It was him the whole time.
The walls rumbled, and I knew he was coming for me.
I had to stay alive. I had to find a way?—
The walls suddenly stopped rumbling and the castle grew quiet.
No more screams.
No more tortured souls.
Only the sound of my heartbeat and my gasping breath.
I kept both of my hands over my mouth, trying to stifle the sound as I scanned the room for another way out.
A door.
A chute.
Something.
God, please. I don’t want to die in here. I don’t want to be stuck here for the rest of my life—the rest of my afterlife.
The door flung open, slamming against the lava rock walls, and my father laughed—deep, long, rumbling in the way that sent fear like fire rushing through my veins.
I tensed, ready to jump up and run again, but I had nowhere to go. I’d backed myself into a literal corner.
I tried to flatten myself against the wall a little more.
Stupid. This was a stupid place to hide.
Stupidstupidstupid.
I was so tired, so hot, so thirsty, but I shoved it all down. Shoved it as far and as fast as I could.
His footsteps were soft—nearly silent—and I tried to hold my breath, but without air, I felt like I was drowning. My heart was beating too fast to?—
A hand gripped my shoulder, talons ripped my flesh, hot blood splattered against my face as I screamed.
I panicked for a second, but there was a voice in my head telling me to stay calm. To breathe. To fight.
So, I fought.
I wrapped my arm around my father’s hand, pivoting, breaking his grasp, and I saw my opening.
I slid between his legs and threw myself toward the door.
Please let me get away.
Pleasepleasepl—
An arm hooked around my waist, and my father lifted me up and hurled me across the room. My back slammed into the stone wall as I screamed from the pain, from the terror, from the fact that I knew he had me and I wasn’t getting away. Not this time.
He was on me before I hit the ground, slamming me into the floor, and I couldn’t breathe.
His red eyes stared into mine. His long, black hair fell around my face, hiding everything from view but his face. He laughed at me—at the fear I knew had to be rolling off me in great, big waves—then he rose up just enough so I could see his body.
He was beautiful in his fallen angel form. His body was so perfect that it could’ve been carved marble with every muscle defined. His massive black wings spread out on either side of him.
“You will submit.” His voice was dark as he shoved the command down the tie that bound me to him. The tie from father to daughter. The one I’d tried to cut, burn, break, but it always came back.
I fought against the command, willing myself to stay strong just a little longer.
“No.” I forced the word out.
He leaned down again. “You are mine .”
“No. I’m a daughter of my Lord and King, Jesus Christ?—”
He roared at the name, and I heard it echo through the house, the caverns, and into the depths of Hell.
Answering screams from the suffering rose up, and I knew I couldn’t back down now.
“—and I will not submit to any but Him! ” I screamed the last as loud as I could, my throat burning with the force of my words.
Even if I was afraid, even if I got stuck here for eternity, I would never submit to this monster.
“ He cannot save you here.”
Was he right? I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if God could reach me here or not. God didn’t obey rules—He made them—but I knew that Eli couldn’t get me in this part of Hell.
God. Please. Help me.
My panic spiked until it was suffocating me, but I heard a voice in my head telling me I wasn’t alone. And it felt true. Because I wasn’t. Not really. Somewhere back in Texas, in my house, in my room, I wasn’t alone.
One word came through, as clear as if someone else was in this room with me. Someone other than Astaroth. Breathe.
I wasn’t sure where the voice came from, but it sounded good. Kind. So, I took in a gasping breath.
One small breath cleared my mind enough, and I knew I could fight.
I could do this. Just like Chris taught me.
Another small breath. In and out.
Right. Okay. Fast.
I had to move fast.
Speed and surprise were my strengths.
My father was saying something, but I ignored it. His threats were always the same. It didn’t matter. His words didn’t matter. My actions were the only things that mattered.
I waited. I didn’t want to. It took everything in me to wait. But I did.
And then, I slowly—so, so slowly—tucked my knees into my chest as if I was curling into a ball, but I wasn’t. I was getting ready. And waiting.
I waited for another breath. And five more. Until he relaxed his grip on me just a little and glanced away.
I hit his wrists, breaking his grip on me, and then kicked my feet into his stomach with everything I had.
Astaroth flew across the room, and I didn’t wait around to watch him crash into the wall. I didn’t want to see if or how fast he’d recover. I ran.
Through corridors.
Down hallways.
Past his rooms.
Down.
Down.
Down into his dungeon.
I raced down the winding staircase, taking the stairs two at a time, ignoring the stench and the screams and the heat that grew even hotter with every step.
This was the safest place for me in Hell. It had to be. There were other people down there. Others screaming and crying and begging for mercy that would never come.
I could hide here among the condemned. Even if I freaked out, my screams would be covered by theirs. I could?—
“ Samantha .” I heard the voice—the same one that told me to breathe—but it wasn’t my father.
This was a good voice. Familiar, but not so familiar that I knew who it was.
“ Samantha! ” It came again. Not from here. Not from Hell. From the other side. And with it came a tug, an urgency to move, to leave this place and go home.
“ Samantha! Wake up! You’re dreaming. You have to wake up now.”
I froze. Wait. What?
No. I was here. This was real. This was?—
I closed my eyes. Sometimes—especially after a fight with my father—it was hard to know what was a nightmare, what was relived trauma, and what was real.
“ You’re having a nightmare. Wake.” The tug came again, stronger this time. “Up.”
The tug came again, and I looked down, searching for the source.
And there it was.The silver cord that tied my body to my mind. I hadn’t been able to find it before, but it was here now. And it was stronger. Thicker.
It wasn’t just one strand now. There was another one twisting around it. I held them in my hand, and everything in the room froze instantly—the sounds, the heat, the feeling that my father was just around the corner. It all went quiet, still, cool.
Oh shit. This wasn’t real?
I looked around the dungeon, and I pushed it away.
Hell disappeared, and I was floating in space, a black abyss of nothing.
Home. I needed to go home.
I closed my eyes and focused on my body.
I woke up gasping. I felt people in the room, but my body was in a ball, and my face was pressed into the mattress.
“Hey.” That voice again.
I turned my head toward it and saw hazel-green eyes.
Phoenix.
Phoenix was still here?
Yes. He really was. He was kneeling beside the bed, looking at me with concerned eyes.
Slowly, as if coming out of a fog, I remembered that I’d woken up before.
After I saved Van, after I fought off my father, after I came to in the ice bath—Phoenix had been here. He’d carried me into bed. He said he’d stay, and he had.
First came the floating feeling of happiness that he was still here.
But it was quickly followed by horror.
He’d seen me having a full-on nightmare. Only Mom, Eli, and Frank had ever seen me like that. I knew what happened when I had nightmares. The fire. The screams. It made me feel incredibly vulnerable that he’d been here for that.
And yet, he hadn’t gotten scared. He hadn’t run away. And from the look on his face, he was truly worried about me.
Huh. That wasn’t what I’d expected, but I was learning that Phoenix usually did the opposite of what I expected.
“Hi.” My voice sounded hoarse, like I’d been yelling for a while. Which meant I probably had been.
I took another breath and cleared my throat. “Sorry.”
“You wouldn’t wake up,” Eli said from behind me. I didn’t need to look to know it was him. He’d been a part of my life since before I could remember. “Where were you?”
“Trapped in his domain.” I closed my eyes, pressing my face into the mattress again. Being curled up in a ball somehow made me feel safer. “Man. Just when I thought the whole having nightmares thing was over…” I swallowed. “I haven’t had one like that in so long. I couldn’t tell it was a dream. I thought I was back there. That I hadn’t gotten free. And…” And I couldn’t linger on it. I didn’t want to live through it when I was asleep, and I definitely didn’t want to relive it when I was awake.
I took another breath, letting it out so, so slowly, and my heartbeat slowed with it. “I did the thing, did I?”
“The thing?” Phoenix asked. I knew his voice now. I hadn’t while I was asleep, but I wouldn’t forget it again. Nothing had ever been so soothing in my whole life.
“Yep,” Mom said from somewhere behind me. “You did the thing, but you’re fine. Everything’s okay.”
Yeah. Maybe some things were okay, but not everything. Everything was far from fine.
Gabe.
What was I going to do? I couldn’t go back there. I just couldn’t. The idea of it?—
A whimper slipped free before I could stop it.
“Don’t you dare.”
I sat up at the threat in Eli’s tone. I turned toward my guardian angel, who stood on the other side of my bed.
Wait. This wasn’t my bed. This was a pull-out couch.
Right. My father had destroyed my room. Nothing was were it should’ve been.
Whatever. I didn’t need to deal with that right now. I focused back on Eli. “I’ll do what I want. When I want.”
His eyes flared, and his wings appeared.
I started to slide from the bed to confront him, but Mom cleared her throat, stopping me. “Samantha.”
I looked at her in the doorway, and she motioned down.
Shit . I was in a sports bra and boy shorts.
Just when I thought I couldn’t be more embarrassed.
I grabbed up the flat sheet from the bed, wrapping it around my body while I struggled to hold onto some of my dignity. “I’m a grown woman, Eli. I make my own choices.”
“Fine.” Eli’s wings rippled before they disappeared, and I knew he wanted to get in my face with some snippy comment.
Sure enough, he leaned down until we were almost nose-to-nose. “Don’t do anything stupid .”
“What?” Mom charged into the room with Frank—when had he gotten here?—not two steps behind her. They stopped at the foot of my bed. “What stupid thing do you think she’s going to do?”
Eli answered her before I could. “She’s thinking about how to save Gabe.” He couldn’t read my mind, but he knew me well enough that he didn’t need to. “She only just got back in one piece, and she’s already thinking about going back.” Eli was still in my face as he spoke to Mom. “I don’t know. Why. You. Trust. That demon .”
Eli was pissed. I got it. I did. On the surface, Gabe sounded like someone I should absolutely not trust, but he’d proven himself over and over and over again.
“Wasn’t tonight a good enough example? He’s in a cage. For me . He sacrificed himself for me. ” Why was this so hard to understand? “Gabe was like me. We could be the same. Sure, he made terrible choices when he was alive, but we all make mistakes. Everyone does . That doesn’t mean he’s fully evil now that he’s dead. He wants to do good, and that means he’s good. Doesn’t it? Don’t his actions prove that?”
Eli rose, stepping away from me, and it was like a mask slid over his face. All of the emotion he’d been raging with was snuffed out. “Agree to disagree,” he said too softly.
I hated it when Eli got like this. I needed this conversation to end, not just fester below the surface. I needed everyone out of my room, and some space, and to put on real clothes before I forgot I wasn’t wearing any again.
Wait. I could fix this with two words. “I’m hungry,” I said. That set everyone off like I wanted. My mom said something, but I wasn’t paying attention. Phoenix said he’d give me room to change—I did pay attention to him. He was kind of impossible for me to ignore. And Frank went down with both of them, but Eli stayed.
Of course, food wouldn’t get him moving. He could eat food, but he didn’t need it. He didn’t understand our obsession with it either. Eli wanted to take care of me—which sometimes meant food—but more importantly, that included saving me from myself.
“Please, angel. Don’t do anything now. Not when you’re tired and weak. You only got back a couple of hours ago. Rebuild your strength before you attempt anything.”
“I wasn’t going to go now.” I wasn’t sure about tomorrow, but definitely not right now.
“Promise me you’ll wait a few weeks. It took you nearly a year to recover last time, including all those months of physical therapy.”
My sheets slid off as I sat up, and I tugged at them until they covered me. I wanted to get dressed, but I wasn’t going to do that with Eli in the room. “No. I can’t promise you I’ll wait that long. And it won’t be like last time. I’d been in a coma for a year. I had to rebuild all my strength from scratch.”
He crossed his arms. “You could take time to recover if you wanted to, but you won’t .”
I blew out a breath. That was fair. “Right. I could, but I won’t. And I refuse to give you a promise that I might end up breaking.”
Eli shook his head, and from how his eyes flared and the way he pressed his lips together, I knew he was disappointed in me. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen that look from him—and I knew it wouldn’t be the last—but that didn’t mean I liked it.
He stood there like a statue beside my bed. The only thing that moved was his shoulder-length, blond hair as if it were being blown by some supernatural breeze. “Do you remember what it was like after you were trapped in Hell last time?”
“As I just said, that was different. My body had been in a coma for a year . All my muscles had withered to basically nothing. I had to go slowly. But I was only there for a few hours this time. Am I tired? Yes. Am I down some energy? Sure. But do I need to sit around twiddling my thumbs for weeks? No. I don’t.” It would be different this time. It had to be.
“You’re right that it won’t be as bad, but your recovery will take at least a few weeks. You rush into anything right now, you’ll be putting your life in danger. Your powers come from the spiritual realm, so they won’t need time to recover. But your body and your soul do. This night has weakened and traumatized you. And you know what that means.”
It meant that I wouldn’t be able to help anyone who needed me if I made myself weaker, sick, or worse—dead.
I hated this. I didn’t want to fight with Eli, but I wasn’t going to stay in bed for weeks. That just wasn’t happening. I refused. I was older now. I’d been in Hell for a fraction of the time. And that meant I’d recover faster.
If someone needed help, I would help them. And if that someone was Gabe, then there was no way I would say no. Zero chance. None.
Gabe had helped me get away. I owed it to him to try with every bit of me that I had left.
“If you go after that demon, you will regret it. Forever.”
A chill settled over my soul. “What do you know that I don’t?”
Eli didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just focused his powerful, angelic stare on me.
For better or worse, we were at a stalemate.
“I can’t tell you all the things I know and see,” he said after what seemed like forever. “Just like I can’t force you to rest for a few weeks before you consider what—if anything—you need to do for that demon . But I caution you to take a moment to remember that Gabriel is a demon for a reason. He was a very, very bad guy when he was alive, and despite what you think you know, he didn’t get better after he died.”
I opened my mouth to defend Gabe again, but Eli shook his head.
“I know that he’s helped you in the past, but how much of that was genuine and how much was laying the groundwork for a bigger manipulation? That’s something you haven’t even considered.”
He was right that I hadn’t thought about that because I was pretty sure that Gabe was good.
But was I willing to risk being trapped in Hell again for pretty sure ?
Suddenly, I didn’t know.
Eli’s eyes flared brighter as if he knew exactly where my mind had gone. “I can’t read Gabe—just like I can’t read you—but I’ve been alive long enough to understand him. You cannot trust Gabe, angel. You cannot . Putting yourself in danger for him would be idiotic at best. At worst, it could mean your nightmares becoming true.”
I knew he was right, but it didn’t feel right in my heart. “Gabe is hurting because of me. He?—”
“I’m going to remind you once again that Gabe is used to being down there. You might hate it, but Hell is his home . If you think he’s not used to getting out of those cages, then I don’t know what to say to you.”
I dropped my chin just a little. There was a chance that Eli was right, but Gabe had never ended up in a cage because of me. At least, not that I knew of.
“Taking the blame for his circumstances isn’t right, angel. With time and rest, I hope you’ll accept that you are both exactly where you belong.” His tone softened. “So, I’ll leave you to think on it, but I’m not leaving here. Not truly.”
I met his gaze again. “You’re not?”
“No.” He let his shoulders slouch a little as he met my gaze, a small smile on his face.
The fight was over. Thank God. I hated fighting with Eli.
“Don’t worry, angel. I have some things to see to, but I’m staying close unless I’m called away again.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Even if I was annoyed at Eli, even when I disagreed with him, I always felt better when he was close by. “I won’t do anything without trying to tell you first.”
“That’s at least something.” He gave me a smile and a wink before disappearing.
I let out a long sigh, then swung my feet over the edge of the mattress.
I took a second to look at my destroyed room. Someone must’ve cleaned it up, but there were still shards of wood and paper and what had to be pillow fluff on the carpet.
Man. This was much worse than I’d realized.
Where were my bookshelves, my chair, all of my things ?
Son of a goat herder.