13
Their heads were both turned by him... quite as full of glee as love. —Persuasion
I’m placing a flower crown of white daisies in Daisy’s brown hair. The twins asked me to come over and help them get ready for their birthday party. They are 22 today, and the theme is a Mad Hatter Garden Tea Party. They’re dressed as flowers—Daisy as a Daisy and Rosie a Rose. Not original, but they look quite lovely. Gloria Musgrove has insane party-planning skills. The only thing that made me date Carlos as long as I did was the thought of having Gloria as a mother-in-law. So tempting.
“You look radiant,” I say as I secure the last flower with a bobby pin. Daisy tosses her thick black hair, and the flower crown stays in place. She twirls in her white eyelet shift dress, showing off her toned brown legs that I’m crazy jealous of.
“I hope Freddy thinks so.” The comment surprises me since I thought she was dating Flossman.
Rosie voices my thoughts.
“Hands off, Daisy. You’ve got Flossman. Besides Freddy practically asked me out.”
“He did?” Daisy and I ask in unison. I haven’t seen Freddy since we kissed more than two weeks ago. It’s been playing through my head on repeat: our faces slick with rain, warm lips, cold skin, air charged with thunder. Nothing is more tantalizing than the memory of an unfinished kiss.
“Yes!” squeals Rosie. “To the Santa Monica Pier on Saturday.”
“That’s not a date,” scoffs Daisy. “Everyone’s going.” My thoughts exactly.
“But he asked specifically if I was going. And I asked if he’d ride on the Ferris wheel with me, and he said, ‘Absolutely!’”
Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief. Rosie is exaggerating the date. And then I remind myself that I’m trying to get over Freddy. I haven’t heard from him the whole time he’s been touring the Midwest. For some reason, I expected, at the very least, a text when he got back yesterday. And now, he’s making plans with Rosie, even if they might be casual. Apparently, the kiss that I can’t stop thinking about meant nothing to him.
“That’s not a date,” says Daisy.
“I think it could be. I’ve made up my mind to go for him. He is all I want for my birthday.” She catches my eye in the mirror. “He’s not just a rock star, you know. He also has a brain. He got into law school.”
“Not only that,” I answer. “He graduated from law school and passed the California bar.”
“That’s right,” says Rosie. “You knew him before he was famous.”
“Did you know him well?” Daisy asks as she slips on white sandals with big daisies in front. “How did you know he passed the bar?”
“I read it somewhere,” I say casually. No need to let the twins know how obsessively I read everything about Freddy West.
“Did you think he was hot when you met him?” asks Rosie as she slips on her sandals with roses on them.
I’m a deer in the headlights. I fear a simple, truthful “yes” will give me away. I don’t want the Musgrove girls to know how I feel about Freddy. Even though I’m confident that if I told them, Rosie would absolutely back off and pursue someone else. Which honestly would be a relief. But more than two weeks of silence has made up my mind. I’m not interested in Freddy; Rosie can have him.
Daisy answers for me. “Of course, she thought he was hot. What else would she think?”
I nod and shrug my shoulders. “Hurry! The music has started. You two had better join your party.”
“Thanks, Rainy!”
“You’re the best. The twins each kiss me before heading down to their party.
It’s time for me to change. I follow the twins and dress according to my name. I put on my silver dress covered with long strands of clear beads, scattering prisms of light with every move. The designer was going for rain in sunlight. But I also kind of look like a disco ball. I low-key love it.
There’s a balcony off the twins’ room from which I have a bird’s eye view of the festivities. Once again, Gloria Musgrove has proven why she is one of LA’s most sought-after event planners.
Charming music floats through the air. Gem-colored lanterns crisscross the yard, and the pool is filled with glowing, over-sized water lilies. A table stands under a sprawling sycamore tree—its branches holding hundreds of ribbons and ropes of flowers. A cake covered with overflowing pastel flowers perches on the table, tempting the guests. Various conversation circles are set in other parts of the yard with velvet couches and overstuffed armchairs. I didn’t think any party could match the blowout Gloria did for the twins’ Quinceanera. I was wrong.
Guests stroll through the yard, most of whom took the tea party theme to heart. Nearly everyone wears a hat. I touch my silver fascinator. It has a netted veil with rhinestones embedded in it that glitter like rain.
I consider what Rosie said about Freddy. He can’t be seriously interested in her. Or maybe I just want to think that because of our kiss. He said he didn’t have time for a relationship. Maybe he meant he didn’t have the bandwidth to settle on one girl. I picture him talking to her by the poolside at his house with his face so relaxed and happy. Maybe he does like her. Why wouldn’t he like Rosie?
I spot Freddy down below, wandering through the crowd. He’s wearing an old-fashioned tricorn hat and some sort of uniform that makes me think of the Sgt. Pepper album cover. Like some historical romance hottie, Freddy has pulled his hair back into a low ponytail. He also has a day’s beard, which he wears well. Now, he will forever be the rogue pirate of my dreams. He must feel me staring because he looks up to the balcony where I’m standing and tips his hat in greeting. Freddy’s eyes follow me as I make my way down the spiral staircase. I feel the force of his seductive half smile with every step.
I consider whether I’m going to give him grief about not texting. I decide not to, partly swayed by his sexy pirate look. But also, I could have texted, too. And I didn’t. I can’t say why.
“Rainy.” The way he breathes my old nickname takes me back to the last time he said it, right before the kiss. He steps forward and hugs me. I’m acutely aware that this is the first time we’ve hugged since I called off our engagement five years ago. I don’t want it to end. His arms feel so good around me. I’m trying hard not to cry from sheer something . When he lets go, all too soon, I shiver from the lack of his warmth. He takes off his hat only to put it back on.
“How’s the tour going?” I ask.
“Good! Really good. I love the Midwest.”
“Yeah, I went to college there for a reason.”
“That’s right, you have family from there. Such devoted fans. But I’m glad to be back. They’re finally painting my kitchen.”
“Really?” I love that he’s telling me such domestic details. I want to know everything about his house. “Any progress on the song?”
Again, he takes off his hat and runs his hands through his hair. He seems kind of surprised to find it pulled back in a ponytail.
“Song?” asks a familiar voice. I turn and see Janene Russell, my erstwhile manager.
Freddy puts out a hand. “Ms. Russell, it’s been a while.”
“Yes!” She takes his hand and lets go just as quickly. “And you’ve certainly come a long way. Congratulations on your Grammy. It was well earned.”
Freddy gives a courtly bow. It’s as if his costume has made him more formal. “Thank you. That’s high praise coming from you.”
I can see Janene’s keen eyes darting between Freddy and me, forming questions.
“Freddy and I are singing a duet at September and Carlos’s wedding,” I explain.
“Are you now?” I swear I can see the cogs turning in her head and the dollar signs in her eyes. “Do you think you’ll record a single?”
“Possibly.” Freddy twirls his hat in his hands. I watch his fingers deftly catch it. Unbidden, I think of those fingers touching my face in the rain. “We need to finish it first,” he says.
Janene gives him a dazzling smile, placing a well-manicured hand on his arm. “This could be just the thing to jumpstart April’s career.” She has been my manager since I was 15 when my mom got sick. In so many ways, she has been more of a mom to me than my real mom. And like any mother-daughter relationship, ours has had its ups and downs. But right now, I’m seeing her in a new light. She’s fawning over Freddy even though she sent him packing five years ago. She nearly convinced me that he was using me for my fame and fortune, but here she is tripping over herself to make nice to him with absolutely no qualms about using him.
“Let’s not put the horse before the cart,” I say. “The song isn’t finished yet. And I’m not so sure I want to record a new album.”
Janene waves her long lilac nails as if swatting a gnat. “Of course, you’re going to do a new album. Everyone’s been talking about it. You can’t let your fans down.”
Freddy gives me a pointed look. I can feel him encouraging me to tell my manager everything I told him about changing career paths. But it’s much easier to speak my truth with him than Janene. For nearly a decade, she was my manager who gave me mostly sound advice.
Carlos joins us. “Evening, Janene! Woah, Rainy!” He gives me a quick hug, then looks me up and down. “Love the dress!” He puts an arm around Freddy. “Dude! I need you. We are going to dominate croquet.” As if it’s an afterthought, he turns to me. “April, want to join? The setup is sick. My mom got mallets that look like flamingos, like in Alice in Wonderland.”
I do want to see the whimsical croquet game Gloria hired local artists to carve, but right now, I have to set some things straight with my manager.
“Maybe later, I need to catch up with Janene.”
Watching Freddy and Carlos disappear into the party, Janene says, “Who would have thought the lifeguard would become a rock star?”
“I wasn’t sure you remembered the lifeguard.”
“How could I forget the boy who nearly destroyed your career.”
“That’s not fair. I took great care to destroy it myself.”
“That you did, my dear. But now you’re back. And collaborating with Freddy West... that could be...” She pauses to find the right word or maybe for effect. “Spectacular! Do September and Carlos know about the two of you?”
“No, September was out of the country. And you requested that I keep it a secret.”
“I thought Freddy would talk, that he’d use your name to climb to the top. I’m surprised he didn’t.”
“You’ve always underestimated him.”
“Perhaps...” She turns thoughtful. “You know, if you were to date him, that could be a smart move.”
“Are you suggesting I use him to promote my career? That’s rich, considering you once accused him of using me?”
“What I’m suggesting is entirely different. Your collaboration would be mutually beneficial.”
“I can’t write lyrics or music to save my life.”
Janene hums a little. “Perhaps, but you’re still more famous and have a wider demographic. And if the two of you were dating, it would certainly create buzz.”
“Stop it. He’s made it perfectly clear that he’s not interested.” This, I admit, is a bit of a stretch. If anything, Freddy is giving me mixed signals. One minute, he says he can’t do relationships; the next, he’s kissing me. And tonight, who knows? “And I’m still trying to decide if I want to make another album,” I say, almost as an afterthought.
“What else can you do? We both know there’s not enough money. Not with the way your father spends it.” She’s right, of course. Most people could live off the interest of my sizable investments, but not my father or September. One more reason to be grateful she’s marrying Carlos with his lucrative job and family fortune. But I hate that Janene doesn’t think I’m capable of anything but standing on stage in sequins and singing songs someone else wrote.
“I’m going to start a business.”
“Don’t tell me it’s cupcakes?” The comment throws me. Is Janene serious or mocking me? I’m so stunned that I don’t say a word. “April, you make fabulous baked goods, but do you know the first things about running a business?”
“I know a lot more about running a business than baking cupcakes,” I retort. “I don’t even know why you said that? I mean, I do make a mean cupcake, but I would never think of turning that into a business. Janene, do you even know what I majored in at school?”
“History?” she asks as we stroll toward the lawn where the croquet game is happening. Freddy’s arms are around Rosie as he shows her how to swing a mallet. Is croquet really the sort of game one needs instruction to play? Rosie laughs at something he’s saying.
“Look at him flirting with her,” Janene mutters. “How could anyone who dated you ever be interested in her?”
“I like Rosie Musgrove,” I say, even if inside I’m churning with fury. It’s not Rosie’s fault Freddy is an idiot.
“She’s not the same caliber as you.” I like to think I have some qualities Rosie does not. But I fear that when Janene says this, she means Rosie’s not as famous. “Aren’t you grateful I talked you out of that relationship?”
I turn to her, shocked. “But! You were just hinting that I should date him.”
“Well, yes, now that you’re well-matched . . .”
“No! Janene, I’m not happy that I ended things with him. I know you meant well, and I was terribly young...”
Freddy hands a stray croquet ball to Rosie, who takes it from him with a smile so bright you’d think he’d handed her the world. “But I regret that decision... nearly every day.”
“But how can you? If he’s not interested in you now. It’s obvious he was only after the fame and the money.” I don’t think Janene ever understood Freddy. When I was younger and she told me he was using me, I didn’t believe her, not really. But there was just enough room to doubt. And once I let that doubt in, I began to think of all the other reasons marrying me might not be good for him. After all, marrying my father had been disastrous for my mother.
“Maybe he lost interest after I broke his heart.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“The way I ended things was heartless and cowardly and immature.”
“I did not tell you to end things like that.” She didn’t. But she also didn’t give me much time.
“That was my own doing. Still, I wish I hadn’t been so easily influenced.”
Some of my genuine regret must show on my face because Janene’s face softens. She stops and takes both of my hands in hers.
“April! You are so good and lovely. Someday, you’ll find someone worthy of you. You must.” And the sincere concern in her eyes makes me overlook all the other obnoxious things she has said. Am I a forgiving person or a pushover? I don’t know, but Janene and I have been through a lot. I know she has my best interests at heart. But with each year, I realize that what she wants for me and what I want for myself might not be the same thing.