Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
NOELLE: NOW
A fter I tended to the puppy I still hadn’t named, I placed him back in his crate, and he went right to sleep. He seemed to feel more at home in Nicholas’s house, which I noticed immediately when he made himself at home as if he wanted to live there instead.
In one breath, Nicholas professed, “I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If I could go back, just know… I’d do things differently.”
I tried to find my bearings as he untied the ribbon around my wrists, having to move away from him. Now it was my turn to stay silent, not knowing what to say or how to say it.
To my surprise, he broke the silence between us, adding, “For the first time in my life, I’m contemplating if I went in the right direction.”
“Because of your inheritance?”
“Because of you.”
I swallowed hard, listening to every word he was openly sharing. Nicholas always spoke his mind, but this was still new and different. We never talked about our feelings in this way. Despite the number of mistletoe kisses we shared, it didn’t change our friendship for one second.
If anything, we grew closer, but in our friendship.
“What I love about fixing and building homes is I don’t have to be anything for anyone.”
I didn’t make a sound.
“I did what came naturally to me, and I knew it was the only way I’d ever get out from under my father’s thumb. I wanted to prove to him that I didn’t need him like everyone in this town does. That I could stand on my own without his money, his influence, and all of the important people he knows. It’s why I lived and breathed my business since I left here, Elle. It was never personal. I swear it.”
“But you still left me and now you’re back and not only are you the owner of the town I love, you’re also technically my new boss. Do you have any idea how hard that is for me? Did you ever stop to think about me for one second?”
“I was a kid,” he stressed. “Come on, cut me some slack. If I had been in the mindset I am now, I would never have done that. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel like you or our friendship never mattered to me.”
Standing my ground, I explained, “You’re acting like nothing’s changed when everything has, and now we’ve added whatever the fuck we just did into the mix.”
“I hate to break it to you, but we’ve always added whatever the fuck we just did into the mix, Noelle.”
“This was far beyond kissing, Nicholas.”
“So now you’re complaining?”
“I’m confused.”
“Let me unconfuse you.” I grabbed her shoulders. “I like you, Elle. I’ve always liked you.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means exactly what I just said. I like you more than a best friend likes their best friend, and I always have. I was just too young and stupid to identify what it was back then. I thought I had to make something of myself. I thought it was the only thing that mattered.”
“So what? I was holding you back?”
“This town was.”
“I’m a part of this town.”
“No shit. It’s why I stopped calling you. You were still here, and I hated it had to be that way. Especially when I asked you to leave with me. I was hurt you said no, okay? Despite what you think, I never thought you wouldn’t leave with me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why would I lie about that?”
“I don’t know…” I shook my head, inhaling a deep breath. “It’s just hard for me to think you thought I’d turn my back on this place.”
“I guess I underestimated your love for a home I hated.”
“You don’t hate it here; you just like to pretend you do.”
“Noelle—”
“If you hated it here as much as you claim, you would have never made my yearly anniversary a special day since we met.”
“That was for you.”
“Not true. Every year, you added some sort of decoration to our secret spot in the woods, and we’d go up the mountain to see the town in all its glory. I’ve seen your face. I know what you experienced when you were there with me.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.”
“That’s such a Grinch thing to say.”
“Well, it’s all I got. So here I am, asking you, no, actually begging you to give me a chance to make things right between us, and I’m not talking about me making you come. That can stay on the menu all the time. Whether you love me or hate me, I can make you come as many times as you please. I have no problem making you come morning, noon, and night if you want me to.”
I bit back a smile.
Damn him.
“But the friendship part. The best friend part.” He gestured between us. “Let me make that right again. I was young and made a mistake, and I promise I won’t do that again.”
“How do you expect me to trust you?”
I didn’t hesitate in replying, “Let me earn it.”
I wanted to believe that what he said was true with everything inside me. However, nothing could have prepared me for this moment and the emotions it would evoke.
It was evident that our connection was as strong as ever. I wanted to hate him, be mad at him, resist him.
Except I was definitely late on the resisting him part, and I’d be lying if I said the sexual tension hadn’t been building for years before he left. The older we got, the worse it became.
In four long strides, he closed the distance between us with so much force that my body slammed against the wall behind me. I hit it with a hard thud.
Instantly, Nicholas caged me in with his arms, making me feel his sorrow and remorse.
And his hate…
Not for me.
For himself.