Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
NICHOLAS: THEN
“ N icholas,” Dad warned. “How many times have I told you you’re going to start working for Mistletoe Town?”
“More than I care to remember,” I snapped.
The biggest problem with my old man and me was we were so different yet exactly alike.
His stubbornness.
His controlling ways.
His trait of always having to be right no matter what.
Though when he loved, he loved with everything inside him.
Yeah, I checked all those boxes too.
“Why must you fight me on everything?” he argued, tugging me away from my thoughts. “Why is it so hard for you to listen to me?”
He shook his head with disappointment spreading all over his face like a blazing wildfire. An expression you’d think I’d be used to by now.
Nothing I did was ever good enough. His high expectations made it nearly impossible to please him. Everything, and I mean everything, in life was black and white for him.
I was the only gray area in his world of right or wrong.
“How many times do I have to tell you I want to open my own business after I graduate in a month?”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“Why are you so against me having my own life?”
“Because I’m handing you one where you’ll immediately be successful! Why would you want to work from the ground up if you don’t have to? This is your legacy! Why can’t you just see that? You refuse to let me help you!”
“That isn’t saving me! That’s you not believing in me and what I’m capable of without your help!”
“Son,” Grandma intervened, saving my ass.
She did this often, having to come between her son and grandson.
Two of the men she loved more than anything constantly butted heads. It never mattered how much trouble I got in. She always loved me wholeheartedly. She was patient with me. Something my father clearly didn’t have when it came to me.
I didn’t wanna continue arguing with my father, not with my grandmother there. More often than not, she took my side, reminding him I was born with my own personality and didn’t have to be obsessed with Christmas.
My mind was wired differently.
“You need to calm down.”
“Mom,” Dad stressed in a sharp tone. “Calm down? Calm down?! He knows where his place is, and that’s in Mistletoe Town! Why would you want to struggle?”
My stomach somersaulted. My emotions were running so high. I couldn’t keep having the same fight with him over and over again. Not only was it not healthy, but I was beyond over it.
“This is the only way I know how to be!”
“Look at you! Just look at you, Nicholas! You’re a Saint Clair! Don’t you understand that? You think I’m trying to punish you, but don’t for one second think I didn’t do that for you! I will not stand by while you ruin your life! I’m your father! You’re my son! My job is to protect you! No matter what!”
“Protect me? From what exactly, huh? Living my own life? My own dreams?”
“Nicholas, please…” Grandma pleaded, standing in front of me with tears in her eyes. “Don’t do this. I’m begging you, please don’t do this.”
“Do what? Tell the truth?”
He growled, loud and clear.
“All you’ve ever done is kill my dreams! You don’t want a son; you want a puppet!”
He scoffed out a breath, shaking his head.
“He loves you. You’re the most important thing to him in the world.”
“He has a horrible way of showing it.”
“He’s just trying to do what’s best for you. It’s a tough place for any parent to be in.”
“No,” I sternly replied. “I just wanna live my life. I don’t care about the consequences.”
“All I’ve ever done,” my father insisted, “is try to help you make the right decisions. Be someone who shows you the way, but it was never good enough. It’s never been good enough for you. You’ve resisted me at every turn, at every step! You have no idea the things I’ve done to support and help you because you refuse to see them.”
“You know what?”
“What?”
“I don’t have to deal with this anymore. If you refuse to let me open my own building business in Mistletoe Town, then I’ll just leave.”
“Nicholas!” Grandma scolded. “Take that back! You don’t mean that! Tell him you don’t mean that! ”
“I’ve always known he’s wanted me to be someone I’m not. He wanted me to be born different since day one. The truth is he hates who I am, and we both know it!”
“That’s not true. Your father loves you. He loves you more than anything in this world.”
“Yeah? Well, like I said—he has a horrible way of showing it.”
“I expressed it to you the only way I knew how!”
“It’s not your choice to make. I’ve worked to give you everything you’ve wanted. Be the perfect son, but I won’t give in to this!”
“You couldn’t be more wrong. I may not have been the father you think I should have been or should be, but I know when you took your first step, when you lost your first tooth, and when you got your first haircut! I know about every skinned knee, every bruise, every broken bone, every runny nose, every milestone in your life. Why? Because I was there.
“That’s not what’s important right now! You totally missed the point. Why am I not surprised? None of that matters to me, but the one thing that does, you couldn’t care about. You have the bar set so high for what you think I should be, there’s no way I could ever reach it. It’s not the same for Felix or Holly like it is for me.”
“Couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I don’t know what hurts worse—you not supporting me or that you don’t believe in me.”
“I just want what’s best for you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
I held my head higher.
“Your grandfather is right, Nicholas.”
My eyes narrowed, drifting my stare toward her.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.” I stood taller. “After I graduate next…”
In four words, I changed the course of my life. “I’m leaving Mistletoe Town. ”
“If you do… don’t bother coming back! Do you understand me? We’re done. You want your own life, then consider yourself a loner.”
My mouth dropped before I scoffed. “I can’t believe you.”
“Believe it.”
“Nicholas, he doesn’t mean?—”
I kissed my grandmother on the cheek and got the hell out of there. My immediate thought was Noelle and how there was no doubt in my mind that she would leave with me.
Right?
I decided not to tell her right then what was going on like I usually did. Instead, I needed to devise a plan or at least some sort of dialogue of how I’d bring this up to her. It had to be the perfect timing.
Today wasn’t that day, but soon…
I’d ask her to leave with me.
Never expecting her to say no.