46. Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Six
Margot
“Are you sure you have to go to New York?”
“I’m sure I have to go to New York.” I smile as I take Memaw’s plate into the kitchen. She follows me, her steps slower than they used to be.
“But that place is so scary.”
I laugh, placing the dishes in the sink and start to wash them. “I’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, Memaw, Margot can handle herself out there. I raised her tough like that.” Arden grabs the wet dishes from the drying rack and starts to dry and put them away. We work in tandem, Memaw sitting at the kitchen island behind us.
“Just don’t go out at night. And don’t get on those dirty trains they have there and don’t–”
“Memaw, it’s going to be alright,” I say with a huff. “I’m only there for two weeks and I’ll be staying near the New York Times building so that’s probably a nice area.”
Memaw shrugs. “Nothing about that city is nice,” she mutters under her breath.
Arden rolls his eyes and hits my hip with his. “Imagine the day when Margot lives there and we have to go visit her.”
“I ain’t never going up to that loud place,” Memaw says, slowly standing from her dining room seat to go and settle in for the night on her living room arm chair. “They got newspapers in South Carolina, you know,” she shouts as she goes.
“Just as prestigious, I’m sure,” Arden says in my ear and I hold in my giggle. We keep working in silence as the dishes dwindle down. After a few moments, Arden speaks up.
“So, you’ve been home for a week now. Are we going to talk about the Alex thing or what?
I close my mouth for a moment. Maybe I should just play dumb. “What Alex thing?”
“Mars,” Arden says, seriously. The tone of his voice causes me to look in his eyes. Can’t play dumb with the one person who knows me better than anyone else. “Let’s talk.”
Arden gestures toward the now empty kitchen table and we sit in the same seats we just sat at for dinner. “The last episode of the podcast featured you two lovebirds making googly eyes at each other and now you haven’t mentioned him, haven’t talked to him once since you’ve been home. What gives?”
“It’s nothing.”
Arden rolls his eyes. “It’s not nothing. I met the guy. Anyone with eyes could see you were crazy about each other. He didn’t hurt you, did he? Cause I’ll—”
“He didn’t hurt me. Not physically anyway. I just…we decided we weren’t right for each other, that’s all.”
“ We decided?”
All I can do is nod.
“But why, Mars?”
I want to tell Arden about everything but, knowing him, he’d just see a boy hurting his little sister and there wouldn’t be much stopping him from going up to his house and taking matters into his own hands. I can’t have that. I need to control the situation like I’ve been doing. I need to keep my calm and just tell Arden to mind his own business.
“We just weren’t going to work in the long run. I need to think about my future and I don’t think he fits into it.”
Arden quietly narrows his eyes at me. He knows I’m lying but he seems to be choosing not to press me on it. I appreciate him for that. More than he knows.
I need out of this conversation before I start sobbing.
“Gotta go finish packing,” I say, hitting my palms on the table and standing up.
Arden nods but doesn’t follow suit. “I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
“Of course I know that.”
As I walk by, I grab his shoulder, pulling his face down so I can plant a kiss on his cheek. I wish I could tell him everything but this is one battle that I need to fight on my own.
Memaw was right about one thing. New York is loud. And busy. And hectic. But it’s also brilliant, electric, and exciting. Everything about this place buzzes with importance and prestige. If I am able to live here one day, I will never shut up about it.
The New York Times building is smack in the center of Times Square and every time I step out of my hotel to walk to the office, I am faced with another incredible thing about this city. From the billboards to the people to the atmosphere. There’s even still some confetti on the floor from the New Year's Eve celebration the weekend before.
It’s only been three days and I’ve already learned that you must walk on the right and you must walk fast.
I love it here.
The building itself is gorgeous. The first thing you see when you walk into the lobby is a huge orange wall. I was floored the very first time I saw it and still am every time I walk in.
Flashing my badge to security, I am let in and grin from ear to ear as I ride the elevator up to the fourteenth floor.
“Morning, Lulu,” I say enthusiastically to the expressionless girl who sits behind the receptionist desk. She doesn’t look up from her phone but gives me a hum of acknowledgement as I walk by.
“Morning, Mr. Baccus.” My manager for the duration of my internship. He’s not much older than myself and has insisted over and over that I call him Paul but I can’t bring myself to do it. I am a professional after all.
“Hey, Margot. Just in time.” He stands from his desk and starts walking down the hallway. I already know that means I have to follow him and I do, quickening my pace to keep up with his hurried strides. Everyone is always moving in this place and I absolutely love it. I’m already sad that this journey has to end. I wish I could stay here forever.
Paul stops and I take the opportunity to hand him the coffee I brought for him. He thanks me as we take a seat in a conference room. Paul sits at the table but my chair is slightly on the outside of the group, signifying my inexperience. I’m okay with it though, that just means it’ll be more meaningful when I do actually get a seat at the table.
The meeting starts and I take copious notes on every single thing that the editor says to his staff. I don’t think I’ve lifted my pen from the paper once in the entire hour meeting and by the end, my hand is cramping.
“You got all that?” Paul asks as we leave the room and head back toward his office.
“Yes. Do you need me to run anything back for you?” When I look up from my notebook, Paul is smirking at me. “You’re teasing me.”
Paul laughs. “Only a little.”
I smile and we both take our time a little bit as we walk down the hall.
“You know, I watched your podcast.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, the judging committee showed it to me when they told me you’d be shadowing me. It was very good, actually. You and that guy have great banter.”
“Yeah, we did,” I reply quietly.
“Did? You’re not going to continue it?”
I shrug as we get to his office and I take my place in the seat in front of the desk. “I already won the contest. There’s really no reason to keep it going anymore.”
“Well, did you enjoy doing it? It certainly looked like you did.”
I grin at the memories. “Yeah, I did.”
Paul takes his jacket off and slings it around the chair. “Then, I say keep it going. There’s nothing you can lose from it.”
I look down at my empty hands. Nothing to lose that hasn’t already been lost.
“I can’t believe I already have to leave.”
“I’m glad this was a good experience for you, Mar. You deserve it,” Sydney says on FaceTime as she makes herself lunch. Danika is laying on her couch watching whatever reality television show she’s into this week. She’s sporting a lovely double chin through the camera lens.
“It was so incredible. I can’t believe how much I’ve learned in just two weeks.” I sigh as I lean back in my chair. Paul has gone out to lunch as he typically does, leaving me an hour of peace which is much appreciated after being in that hectic environment all morning.
“What are you gonna get for lunch,” Danika asks, her mouth full of popcorn.
“Probably just a burger and some–”
A notification at the top of my phone pulls my attention. It’s from YouTube. Our Ask Alex podcast channel just posted a new video.
“Hello?” Dani calls my attention and now they’re both staring at me intently.
I bolt up in my seat, clutching the phone to my hand. “I just got a notification that a new video was posted to the Ask Alex channel.”
“Aren’t you the only one who has access to that account?”
“Nathan does too. And I guess Alex, I told him the credentials once but I didn’t think he ever signed into it.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Sydney shouts. “Watch it!”
Just as I’m about to hang up, Dani shouts even louder. “Hold it, hold it! Stay on the phone and watch it on your laptop. Just in case.”
I nod, running across the office to grab my computer from my bag. It takes me a couple seconds to log in and pull up the website and my heart is in my throat the entire time.
A new video was posted twenty-four seconds ago. It already has over two hundred views and the thumbnail is just Alex sitting there alone. Each of our episodes has a title that coincides with one of the topics we discuss during the video. This video is titled: Distraction or Destiny.
“I can’t play it.”
“Why? Is it not loading or something?”
I blink, my eyes holding back tears. I have no idea what this is going to say but based on how we left things, what we said to each other, what we didn’t. I have a sinking feeling this is only going to destroy me further.
“I’m afraid.”
Danika sighs. “Don’t be scared, Mars. Whatever it is, we’ll help you through it. But you need to see first before you jump to conclusions.”
Taking a huge breath, I let it out as slowly as I can. “Okay,” I say, propping my phone up on my lap so they can see the screen in realtime. I take another breath before clicking the big red PLAY button on the video. He looks so handsome, I can’t help but think.
The video starts and it features Alex sitting in his same seat that we always sit in for filming. He hasn’t moved to the middle, he kept himself on the right and my seat on the left is noticeably empty.
He doesn’t start the video with our catchphrase, either. Instead he sighs and says, “You might notice an empty seat next to me. The person that typically fills this seat is currently in New York City fulfilling a lifelong dream of hers and I couldn’t be happier for her. I wish I could be there with her, supporting her but unfortunately, something happened that’s preventing that.”
I pause the video. “Wait, how did he know I won the contest? I never told him.”
Danika and Sydney are uncharacteristically quiet, until Sydney bursts. “I told him!” she yells, shame threaded in her voice. “I’m sorry. I felt like he had a right to know. And Margot, feel free to yell at me all you want later but right now you better play that damn video, we’re dying over here!”
On the screen, Alex continues.
“So this isn’t going to be a typical episode of Ask Alex. I am going to be answering a few questions but they’re not sent in from viewers. No, these questions are ones I’ve been asking myself. Some for a while now and some more recently. So buckle up, folks and Margot, if you’re watching, please listen closely.”
“Holy shit,” Sydney comments on FaceTime and I had almost forgotten that they were there. I quickly pause the video and pull their faces back to mine.
“What do I do?” I ask, frantically.
“Press play!” Both girls shout and I immediately put them back in position and unpause the video.
“The first question is: What happened with me and Margot? That’s a very simple question with a very complicated answer.”
I draw in a breath and I know that Sydney and Danika are holding theirs too.
“What happened between us was magic. It was power, confidence, and determination. It was creativity, drive, and enthusiasm. Margot and I had love. Have love. Because no matter what she might think, I will never stop loving her. And no matter what happens between us, I will never give up the fight for her. I know it might seem like I have given up, Margot, but I swear I haven’t. I just needed to sort out a few things in my life before I could be the man I need to be for you and I’ve done that now. This time apart has made me realize, there’s never been something I’ve wanted more in this life than Margot Elaine Davis and I will do whatever it takes to get you back.”
My phone falls down on my lap causing a loud mix of girly shouts and angry yells to erupt. I pause the video and pull my phone back up. I know my jaw is on the floor and it matches my roommates’ expressions, as well. We blink at each other and then I put them back and press unpause. No hesitation required.
“The second question is: What do you see yourself doing in the future? Well, before this week, I would’ve said I’d see myself as the future Vice President of Prescott Cars. I’d see myself earning millions of dollars, busy as hell, and absolutely fucking miserable. I’d see myself worn out, lonely, and probably addicted to some substance or other. But, ever since an enlightening conversation I had with my father and my best friend who also happens to be a business major, I can say with the utmost confidence that in the future, I see myself being confident, independent, and happy. Because I am going to follow my dreams. Finally.”
My eyes fill with tears and I don’t even try to blink it away as they fall down my cheeks.
“The third and final question is this: What happens now? Well, if everything goes according to plan, I am currently waiting outside the New York Times building in Manhattan. And if Margot decides to give us another chance, she’ll come down from her swanky office and give me the biggest show-stopping kiss she can muster. But if she doesn’t want to try again with me then I guess I’ll just be catching the next flight out of here. The choice is yours, Margot. Which will it be?”
I’m out the door before he even finishes the question. I hear a faint sound of cheering from my phone as I click it closed and shove it in my back pocket. The elevator is my best friend at this moment because it’s ready and waiting for me and when I get to the lobby, I’m almost out of breath from running.
My heart is in my throat when I open the doors to the street and I see him there.
Waiting.